ryanh

Hey justaname – I can well understand the thoughts and feelings that flow over and through you. I’ve felt many of them at times, although the source of my trigger is a bit different than what you are grappling with. I trust He can fix everything, but doesn’t mean he will. He certainly could have delivered Job from his trials, or Joseph Smith from Carthage jail, or any of the other countless extreme trials that people have gone through. I’m sure you’ve heard all the same Sunday School answers I have as to why.I also think that Heavenly Father expects us to apply all available resources available to overcome challenges that are obstacles to our serving our families and fellow brothers and sisters. I know a psychologist (a PhD) in SLC that is skilled in processing and minimizing traumatic memories if you are interested. Don't let this keep going without taking it head-on. She deserves the attention of your undistracted self. I live in Clearfield, so if you want to chat with someone that is familiar with how debilitating these challenges can be, give me a call – or even come over for dinner some evening.

Are you trying to ask about the few that deny the Holy Ghost that will not receive any degree of glory, and will be cast into outer darkness? As I understand, there will not be many in that situation.

Watch the weather!!! We are supposed to be getting some monsoon moisture this weekend, and it could flood the slot canyons in a hurry. Suppose a smart one like you already knew that though, right? Have fun.

Wow, sounds like you two have a tough hill to climb. It just may be that you two had to hit this 'bottom' in order to turn things around and make it better than it has ever been. I wish you luck in that endeavor. In your searches, did you by chance come across Peter Fox's website? He has some good advice for healing from and getting past infidelity. I'd suggest some marriage counseling to help you two along the journey. A professional's input would likely be helpful.

Lost, the sin is in the use of sex outside of a divine sanction for it's use - marriage. One way to resolve that ("change" the situation) is to make the full and firm commitment that marriage entails. There will still be repentance necessary, but it isn't necessarily going to be "x months/years of abstinence". Because restitution is impossible, one is left completely dependent upon the Savior, and the remorse necessary to be encircled in the arms of His mercy. See: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland - Personal Purity ”In matters of human intimacy, you must wait! You must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are legally and lawfully married.”

So which is it? You've been seeing lots of this "time and again", or you never saw it until your friend recounted her experiences to you? Something doesn't jive in the way I'm reading those two posts. I've served a mission and never heard of any restrictions. If someone wanted to know, it was discussed. There is such an idea that is is best to present milk before meat that has to be taken into consideration, and meat needs to be forthcoming. But, as Elder Boyd K Packer teaches, that is a case by case situation. I've never heard of anyone trying to keep doctrines secret, nor encouragement to perpetuate differences based on semantics only. Don't know what happened in the case of your friend, if there is just some gross miscommunication on her part, or on the part of others, but something is not as it seems IMO. One blunt thought Lst, since you do seem to be someone ready to digest meat - would you really care what the doctrines were if you were to receive a witness from the Holy Ghost that correct principles were taught in this Church? Conversion through intellect/understanding is a cheap substitute for true conversion through the Holy Ghost. That latter will persist where the former may wither and die in the heat of the sun (see Matt. 13:4–8).

Unless you have the latest and greatest computer with all the bells and whistles, you will likely need some additional hardware. Either an Analog to Digital Video converter box, a camcorder, or a video card for the computer that can accept analog signals. See eHow

It wouldn't have changed what I said, but I probably would have explained things a lot more simply and not assumed you were familiar with some fundamental aspects. Now I can understand much better why you might have interpreted some things as punishment. Often, when someone says they "did not grow up in the church", they are specifying that they are a convert (like myself) and not someone that was born into an LDS family. So, given my assumption (bad me), I didn't give the more simple/fundamental explanations that I probably would have otherwise.

Do you feel that an unrepentant murderer should have the same eternal fate as one that accepted the Savior and tried their best? Sending the unrepentant murder to the telestial kingdom (the lowest kingdom) will not be punishment. It will not be 'fair'. It will be reward that we can't even comprehend. Those people were faithful in the premortal existence, and for their choice to come to earth, they will go to what most people think of as "heaven". Most of those that were truly rebelious to God never came to this earth. Everyone on this earth will be rewared with appropriate glory.Lattelady, I fear you're straining too hard to try to see it, and missing how wonderful the plan really is. Perhaps what you are missing is an understanding that even the Telestial kingdom is not punishment in the least form. That's not technically accurate. There will be lots that will enter the Celestial kingdom that are not married. Countless people. But, to enter into the highest order of the Celestial kingdom, yes, people must enter into the ordinance of sealing. What did Christ say when he was on the earth about baptism? It's requisite right? Even He Himself was baptized. Why would it be any different to obtain additional blessings that there would be steps to be taken to obtain them? One aspect where our Father's plan is so merciful is that he doesn't require every step to be taken in this life. There will be billions that have never had the chance to be baptized while living on the earth, but which were good people. They will have chances to be baptized and be taught of God and Jesus Christ, and have a chance to accept it. Church leaders say time and again that the single women that never have a chance to marry will not be omitted from the highest degrees of the Celestial kingdom because they didn't have an opportunity to be sealed to someone here on earth. They will be given opportunities, and denied no blessings. If you seek, you shall find. I wasn't able to let go of my own feelings of being overwhelmed because I felt fallible just because I read some neat quote or talked to people. I had to get on my knees and find out my status. It took work and time, but I was blessed with an understanding of how much our Heavenly Father loves us, and how incredibly merciful Jesus Christ will be in interceeding for us. You can too. Perhaps you should talk with you Bishop and discuss your concerns with him. He can help guide you in this matter.

Of course you could just show up. You'd be welcome to do so. That's not my style though. I would like to be more prepared with info. Go to the LDS Church's congregation map site, type in your address, and it will give you the available congregations in the area, what time they meet, and even a phone number to contact someone (if you click on the congregation name). I just had a thought, your parents might be thinking the exact same thing as you typed out. They might be saying to one another: 'i just don't even know how we should open the dialogue with her. i mean what can we say really... we're not ashamed of her sexuality... i've just never sat down and thought about how to approach her. especially someone who we love so much. i just wish she would let on a little that she wants to talk to us, or just flat out tell us that she has something she wants to tell us about. *sigh*'

I think Puf covered it pretty well. Yes, there have been times that I have been overwhelmed thinking that I just am too fallible to make it. But, as I have studied the matter, and prayed about it, I have come to understand that so long as our underlying intent is to do as good as we can, and love and come to God, then we are on the right path. Even if we are messing up left and right. As long as our heart is good, and we have that intent to become more like God, and we act upon that intent, we are ok. I suspect that those who love the Lord will be surprised at the mercy and love shown us after this life. Ever heard of the Parable of the Bicycle by Stephen Robinson? After I had come home from school one day, I was sitting in a chair reading the newspaper. My daughter Sarah, who was seven years old, came in and said, "Dad, can I have a bike? I'm the only kid on the block who doesn't have a bike." Well, I didn't have enough money to buy her a bike, so I stalled her and said, "Sure, Sarah." She said, "How? When?" I said, "You save all your pennies, and pretty soon you'll have enough for a bike." And she went away. A couple of weeks later as I was sitting in the same chair, I was aware of Sarah doing something for her mother and getting paid. She went into the other room and I heard "clink, clink." I asked, "Sarah, what are you doing?" She came out and she had a little jar all cleaned up with a slit cut in the lid and a bunch of pennies in the bottom. She looked at me and said, "You promised me that if I saved all my pennies, pretty soon I'd have enough for a bike. And, Daddy, I've saved every single one of them." She's my daughter, and I love her. My heart melted. She was doing everything in her power to follow my instructions. I hadn't actually lied to her. If she saved all of her pennies she would eventually have enough for a bike, but by then she would want a car. But her needs weren't being met. Because I love her, I said, "Let's go downtown and look at bikes." We went to every store in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Finally we found it--the perfect bicycle, the one she knew in the premortal existence. She got up on that bike; she was thrilled. She then saw the price tag, reached down, and turned it over. When she saw how much it cost, her face fell and she started to cry. She said, "Oh Dad, I'll never have enough for a bicycle." So I said, "Sarah, how much do you have?" She answered, "Sixty-one cents." "I'll tell you what. You give me everything you've got and a hug and a kiss, and the bike is yours." Well, she's never been stupid. She gave me a hug and a kiss. She gave me the sixty-one cents. Then I had to drive home very slowly because she wouldn't get off the bike. She rode home on the sidewalk, and as I drove along slowly beside her it occurred to me that this was a parable for the Atonement of Christ. We all want something desperately--it isn't a bicycle. We want the celestial kingdom. We want to be with our Father in Heaven. And no matter how hard we try, we come up short. At some point we realize, "I can't do this!" That was the point my wife had reached. It is at that point that the sweetness of the gospel covenant comes to our taste as the Savior proposes, "I'll tell you what. All right, you're not perfect. How much do you have? What can you do? Where are you now? Give me all you've got, and I'll pay the rest. Give me a hug and a kiss; enter into a personal relationship with me, and I will do what remains undone." Believing Christ: A Practical Approach to the Atonement

Hi Tee! I keep coming back to this thread hoping that I'll have something useful to offer. I think I'm coming up pretty empty handed. How about a big hug instead? My brother 'came out' about 18 years ago. Dad was pretty anti-gay before that. Fortunately logic and love won out, and they are very close now. It was a little difficult there are first, and my Dad had to confront his own issues. I sincerely hope your parents will do the same. There is only one way to find out. I would second much of what has already been posted. Sound advice IMO. Good luck, and please hang around and participate!

1.) Do you ever doubt the truthfulness of the Mormon/LDS religion? In other words, how strong is your faith? Before I joined at the age of 16, I was pretty anti-religion. Some of my family had associations with the LDS faith, but rarely if ever went. So, in a way, I very much doubted any truthfulness even though I was exposed to it a little bit. Can't say that I have had any doubt since those initial experiences led me to know that God does exist, and that the LDS Church is His church. 2.) Do you believe that God communicates with you? Why or why not? No question in my mind. I've been blessed to have some very clear communications. There is no way I would have been able to accept the truthfulness of religion in general, or this church specifically, without the witness borne to me directly through the Holy Ghost. Everyone can get this witness, but it is not a simple thing to achieve. 3.) Would you be willing to share any personal testimonies of your experiences with God (like answered prayer, witnessing a miracle, etc)? I’ve never had a supernatural experience, so I would love to read about what it’s like. Melissa23 just posted her account of her first experience that you might enjoy. See this post. Also, The LDS church has put togther a site (Mormon.org) that provides many personal experiences you may be looking for. You honestly sound like you are at the point that you ought to talk to the missionaries. You can get in contact with local missionaries at Mormon.org - Contact Missionaries They would be happy to spend time answering your questions and telling you about their personal stories of how they personally know that our Heavenly Father is real.

Welcome Melissa! Isn't that first experience feeling the direct comunication through the Holy Ghost amazing? More then 20 years later and I can still remember that first time. I was taking the 'discussions' from the full time missionaries at the time. What you have experienced is something more precious than all the riches of the earth, and I'm very impressed you have been able to tap into it without guidance and help from anyone but your friend (it took a lot of coaching from the missionaries for me to become prepared to feel and understand) Go the LDS Church's congregation map site, enter your address, and it will give you all the congregations in your area, including singles wards (if any). Click on the congregation name and it will even give you a phone number or two call if you have questions. Thanks for sharing your story. Keep reading the Book of Mormon daily and it will definately help you be in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Close, but I think not quite technically accurate. I was told by my Stake Pres that they can't serve "without the approval of the first presidency".

Hi and welcome High5. I'm glad you shared your story. I’m a little surprised that someone with familiarity with how records are or are not marked hasn’t commented. Perhaps those who know are not supposed to talk about it? I personally believe there must be a way to mark records. 1) Policy is to not let a person that engaged in pedophilia (or perhaps even has the tendencies even if never acted upon) to serve in position w/ children unless cleared by the First Presidency. 2) The Church has been held legally accountable in a few circumstances where a person was called into a position, and that allowed them to perpetrate. The Church would not be able to legally defend itself from culpability if it only had a policy, but no method to enact it. Again, those are just my thoughts on the matter, not an actual understanding of the reasons records are marked. I’m thinking that for some reason, your original Bishop you confessed to did mark your records as you being a person that could not work with children. Why else would he have said that you “would not be able to teach in the primary”? Again, if that was a condition imposed by an authorized ‘judge in Israel’, then how could it be appropriately enforced across all wards if it wasn’t marked on the records? What makes me really uncomfortable is that is seems very apparent that any sort of restrictions on your service have been shared well beyond the scope of what is necessary. Who is it that has access to that information that has been sharing it in your ward? That’s unacceptable IMO. No person I have ever met would have the gall to ask someone point blank if they were a pedophile just because they looked like someone else. The instances and reactions you describe seem to be a gossiping ward out of control. Alternative to the idea of being inaccurately marked as a pedophile, perhaps Church policy does restrict those with SSA from teaching in primary, and when this restriction is shared with others (which is an issue in it’s own right IMO) people are all too willing to be judgmental, come to erroneous conclusions as to why, and engage in sinful gossip. I’m so sorry you and your children are being flogged for a sin that has been repented of and is in the past. That’s just not right.

Ditto! Never would try to limit exposure of my kids to their gay uncle. His SSA has nothing to do with attraction to children. Completely separate issues.

Regretfulguy, I'm really glad you are following up on this and seeking advice. I'm not sure there is any real way around it. As far as I understand, the Bishop is the go-to-guy. I know exactly what you are feeling. It's been a long time, but I can still remember when I was 16, and was about to be baptized, I needed to confess a few things that happened prior to joining the church. I was absolutely terrified. Things that helped me get past that: - an understanding that satan was using fear as a tool to try to keep me trapped. - analyzing and breaking down the specific factors that were making me fearful. I think you have identified at least some of these aspects. Which bothers you the most? Why? Are your fears well placed, or figments of imagination. - I had to face what I wanted more - to be right with my Heavenly Father, or be right with 'man'. HF already knew my sins, and all I needed to do was go through the correct repentence process. Or, I could take the route that seemed easier at the moment (but which would cause far more problems in the long-term), and hope to continue to hide my flaws from any and all 'men'. In reference to pornography, President Hinkley said: "Plead with the Lord out of the depths of your soul that He will remove from you the addiction which enslaves you. And may you have the courage to seek the loving guidance of your bishop and, if necessary, the counsel of caring professionals” (Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 62). Some reading assignments for you: My Battle with Pornography - Liahona July 2007 Danger Ahead! Avoiding Pornography’s Trap Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “To Be Free of Heavy Burdens,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2002, 87.

Doug Wright, Utah talk radio host discussed this episode this AM. See: http://pandora.bonnint.net/audio/2009_08_13_doug1.mp3 His discussion starts at 6:20. The best sound bite I heard was at 24:45

Where did that come from? I said I wasn't comfortable with the context in which it was being applied, not that I choose my scripture ala-carte. In fact, not choosing my scriptures ala-carte means that I must fit 88:22 into the context of all the other revealed word, and in doing so, I come to a conclusion other than what you are presenting it as. Did you go check Elder Talmage’s discussions of the parables? How about the linked article of Elder Oaks? Those are just two of many reasons I can’t agree with the way you applied 88:22. Evidently, "cannot abide" does not automatically mean "live fully now in the current circumstances".Zzyzx, in the context of this thread, your recent posts seem to be insinuating just what Pam is speaking of - that there are many LDS that don't understand the situation of divorce and the way that the Lord will treat that, that they end up throwing out the baby with the bath water. The divorce is unfortunate. It doesn't damn an individual. IMO the judgment of the divorced as deserving less blessings is not only inaccurate (again, seek an understanding of Jesus’ parables), but a stumbling block to one’s own progression. Yes, having served a mission in the south, I’ve had more than my fair share of discussions with radical only-need-to-confess-name individuals. I’ve also run across quite a few LDS (including myself for many years) who were on the opposite end of the spectrum, and are unable to see how merciful our Savior will be. Too many of us get caught up on popular LDS culture and don’t ponder it for ourselves. I’m comfortable that the truth is in between the two radical spectral ends. See Believing Christ for a concise source discussing the various aspects.

Humm. Trying to fit that one in with the teaching of the parables of the prodigal son, and the laborers in the vineyard. See Elder Talmage's explanation of those two parables in Jesus the Christ. Never? Really? Are we living the law of consecration right now? Since we aren’t, are we all damned in that we can never be exhalted? I’m not so sure I’m comfortable with the context that reference is being applied. The Atonement is the key, not our attempts to save ourselves.

Call the ward mission leader, elders quorum president, or even the Bishop and ask for the name of someone that would be willing to go on a double date with you. Kill two birds with one stone - alleviate fears of "etiquette" and the dreaded first date silence.

I think I recall some opinions shared that the divorced wife should not attend the temple because she sought divorce. Another from Elder Oak's April 2007 Conference address: Thank goodnes for the mercy of the Lord that divorced people are not expected to live the remainder of their lives lonely and companionless. Rather, He permits divorced persons to marry again without the stain of immorality specified in the higher law.

Chet, as one that has felt gender bias here at times, I didn't see that as one of them. Perhaps my perspective is different because I understand what it is like to live with someone that has mental illness - esp undiagnosed mental illness. Even if you DO know what is driving the behavior, it can be more difficult to put up with than most people will ever understand in this life. And when it is undiagnosed/unknown, it is incredibly difficult. I dare say there are very few that are able, or to be expected, to be fully faithful under such circumstances. To expect a woman or man, to not be tempted to leave a marriage when their basic needs are not being met is unreasonable IMO. We are faliable mortals. We all have our limits to what we can deal with. Bottom line, I didn't see Maya's post as gender biased, simply a comment on a specific situation.

Yes, I do beleive that at times non-answers may be the answer. Yes, my fretting, Frowning child, I could cross The room to you More easily. But I’ve already Learned to walk, So I make you Come to me. Let go now— There! You see? Oh, remember This simple lesson, Child, And when In later years You cry out With tight fists And tears— “Oh, help me, God—please.”— Just listen And you’ll hear A silent voice: “I would, child, I would. But it’s you, Not I, Who needs to try Godhood.” (Carol Lynn Pearson, Beginnings, Provo: Trilogy Arts, 1967, p. 18.) As presented by Elder Packer in a 1975 Fireside