Backroads

We have about 4000$ in our emergency fund that is not part of this equation.

I'm not a financial planner; but I'd be inclined to attack the car loan first.  If your income situation goes kaput and you can't make any of your loan payments--your student lenders won't come after your car (not for a very, very long time, anyways); whereas the car lender's repo guy could be on your doorstep tomorrow.

I dig the debt free thing. I also dig a child having space to move around and parents being in their own place.
 
Since the interest rates are low and considering your living situation, if you can find an inexpensive house in good shape, I would go for it. BUT  I would not spend a lot on furniture, etc. I looked around for awhile before I found a townhouse that didn't need me to come in and change stuff (and I still changed stuff and had some repairs). People spend a lot of money once they get a house. If you can get a place that allows you to put money away for repairs and personal savings, then I would go ahead.
 
That said. I think you need to get out of your grandparents' place. What is wrong with renting a house? It might slow down your downpayment savings to pay rent, but you wouldn't be financially reponsible if something went wrong and you'd have the space your young family needs. If you don't have experience living in a house as an adult, renting may be a good idea anyway, so you can see what kind of problems and expenses arise, even if you don't have to pay them yourself.
 
I agree with others - you can leave your student loan debt and don't use all your savings for debt repayment; keep some in reserve.

We have about 4000$ in our emergency fund that is not part of this equation.

What I have been told by financial people I trust (business & Econ professors)...
Pay off all your debt EXCEPT student loans.
The reason given is that student loans are
- classified as a different kind of debt, entirely... By both credit beauros & judiciary (aka 100k of student debt not even blinked at, while 5k of credit card debt can be a big deal).
- once consolidated & amortized over as long a period as possible... The interest rate = inflation rate = free money
________
To steal JAGs line, though, we're just guys/gals on the Internet.
While you know many of us... And I'm sure we all trust where we got our own a dive from... I'd personally recommend you go hire someone from Columbia or Yale with their MBA and years in the financial industry to look over your finances and come up with long/short term plans for your finances.
Q

BTW, I wouldn't deplete your savings completely by paying off your debt.  Always, always, ALWAYS have an emergency fund.  Keep it at least $1,000, but perferably 3 months of gross income.  Ideally, you should have at least 12 months of gross income saved in a manner that you can access it easily if an emergency arises. 

What if there was a way of eating that was overwhelmingly supported by the current body of scientific literature and practical experience that reversed almost any disease and made it nearly impossible to get sick?
 
Would you be willing to change the way you eat to reverse heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, asthma, and autoimmune conditions? How about reducing allergies and possibly eliminating them and preventing cancer.
 
Would you be excited to listen to people who claim to have been cured of lupus, eczema, psoriasis, Multiple Sclerosis and more by changing the way they eat?
 
Would it improve your opinion at all if I mentioned it also seems in harmony with the word of wisdom?
 
I know I'm pretty excited.

I will also state that it would be better to pay off your debts.  But I want to give you a different idea on HOW to go about it.
 
It is SO HARD to build up your emergency funds in the first place.
 
Another consideration... is to take out a SECURED LOAN against your savings.
 
https://www.dcu.org/loans/savings-secured.html
 
Take a look at the above link as a possible idea.  Notice the rate you could pay on a Certificate-Secured Loan:  Only 3% above the rate the CD is earning.  As you pay it back, you have less "pledged as collateral" for the loan.  3% is a GREAT rate above the CD rate (which is practically nothing today).
 
Another part of this, is my own economic opinion.  Deflation will be a reality over the next few years.  I think home values WILL go down... and being debt free (owing yourself via collateralization) and having cash on hand will make your next home purchase a bigger value for you and your family.  If/When deflation hits, it won't have ANY affect on your current debts... but it can help you to get a better house for the money when you're ready to buy.
 
I try to follow Harry S. Dent Jr. on his economic predictions using demographic spending trends... and that's what he's predicting for the next few years.

Have you taken a look on-line at Women Within ( http://www.womanwithin.com/ ) and for men: For The Fit (http://www.forthefit.com/ ) ?
 
I am petite in height but plus around. I surf at Women Within frequently looking for sales. I always thought I was average height - until I bought a dress from them in average. Had to cut off 5", hem up 2 inches just to reach 2" above my ankles! I am 5'4". Now I order petite, and even though they say the hem will reach mid calf - it hits just above the ankles. 
 
I don't know what part of the country you live in, but the internet makes the *world* a bit smaller and more easily attainable. 

In support of anatess's point above: Covered this in priesthood this week. From the Joseph Fielding Smith manual:
 
If a man and his wife were earnestly and faithfully observing all the ordinances and principles of the gospel, there could not arise any cause for divorce. The joy and happiness pertaining to the marriage relationship would grow sweeter, and husband and wife would become more and more attached to each other as the days go by. Not only would the husband love the wife and the wife the husband, but children born to them would live in an atmosphere of love and harmony. The love of each for the others would not be impaired, and moreover the love of all towards our Eternal Father and his Son Jesus Christ would be more firmly rooted in their souls.

Speaking as a child that grew up with a Grandma in the house - stay put for as long as you can. Let your child and grandma really bond. Mom's mother lived with us - she had her own room, which I shared until I was 14. Sometimes it was a real trial being her grandchild - but in retrospect, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Her son's children wished she had lived with them - she probably would have had more privacy - but they never offered to have her. 
 
You and your husband get along great with her, so should your child. AND I am predicting that her insight and help with be priceless after the baby is born. 
 
Going into a house, debt free is rare - but if living with Grandma for even another year will accomplish that, Do It.

And this is where I disagreed with him.  I'm sure his heart was in the right place, but the outcome didn't sit right with me.

This is certainly in line with the new-age "Jesus loves" ideology that disregards everything except "Jesus loves", but it is entirely inconsistent with scripture, religious history, and modern revelation and policy.

Speaking as someone who just bought a house and had a baby, I would stay at Grandma's (if it's not mentally/emotionally taxing).  Logic being:
 
1) Grandma's are great for baby's and they love them.  If you have a good relationship with her, why not let her help out.
2) Setting up a new house is VERY expensive even after the downpayment.  I was amazed on how much husband and I spent on curtains, repairs, and other very nessecarry improvement.  It's also taxing on my very limited energy (newborns are exhausting).
3)  Once you're debt free, you can save up for that down payment so much more effeicant.  Ideally, I'd recommend 20% downpayment.  If you pay less than 20%, they make you buy "mortgage insurance" which pretty much entails hunderd(s) more on each payment.  This fee exists solely for the bank's benifit and will stay for the entire length of the mortgage. 
4)  It is not mooching off of grandma if you're actually saving money each month for the house, so you don't have to be concerned about pride-issues.

I'm with others in saying do the debt free thing.  
 
It's unbelievable the expenses that come up with owning a home that you just don't think of.  

FWIW:  I wouldn't buy the house unless you can do it AND have, from the get-go, a good $10K in savings as an emergency fund (and $15K is better). 
 
We bought our house in the fall of 2012 and afterwards had about $8K left over in savings (and an obscene amount of student debt, but no car loans/credit cards and, we thought, pretty solid income).  A couple months of saving and a couple tax refunds later we had barely made it up to $15K--and then our firm did an across-the-board 25% pay cut, which has been my salary for the last nine months or so.  If we hadn't had that savings, we'd have been unable to meet the mortgage and could quite easily be facing eviction right now.
 
Without a rainy day fund, a house is just more heartburn.

My .02, because I can...
 
I join in the chorus DEBT FREE!  There are all kinds of cost in not only purchasing but also maintaining a home that will only push you further into debt.  So if you can deal with Grandma for a bit longer, do it.  You will be on a much better footing going into a home debt free.  Besides, you don't want to have any regrets because I bet that once she passes on, you will feel like you ran away from her.  I know I wish I still had my grandma around, severe demention and all.

Go debt free.
 
There are other costs to buying a house besides the down payment.  You'd be surprised how much money you need to move into a house. 
 
It sounds like your grandmother also needs you with her.  As long as living there isn't an obstacle in your marriage, I vote to stay there as long as you can and save your money to put at least 20% down on a house plus have plenty for the expenses needed to move into your own home.

There is always doom and gloom in the future, we know it will happen. But we must live in the present and prepare for the worst.  I would ask myself a few questions.
 
1. If I buy a home now and forgo paying off the other debt, how long will I be paying on the "other" debt while I now have a house payment?
 
2. How long will it take me to save up the same amount or more for a down payment on a house if I pay off my current debt?
 
Going into a house payment otherwise debt free does sound appealing and probably a very good choice. However, interest rates are down and waiting could have you paying a higher payment. On the flip side, even if you wait and interest rates rise you could be in a better situation to handle the ups and downs in life with limited debt. I would definitely start crunching some numbers for the present, but also see what difference scenarios could happen in the future if you are paying more interest on the house. Remember, rent rises with a better economy as well as interest rates. Renting could still have you paying a much higher payment in the future than if you were to buy a home now.
 
Not an easy decision.

That's a tough one. On the one hand getting out of debt is plain awesome, and overall saves money because you pay less interest. Buying a home is also pretty awesome, but may be worth the wait.
 
Almost everything I hear about the US economy is doom and gloom here in Canada. I hear about how everything is going to go belly up and inflation will be crazy. If this were to happen you'd be glad not to have inflated interest on your loans and mortgage.
 
Prayer is going to give the best answer.
 
All that being said I have heard numerous church leaders speak about getting out of debt, and never once have I heard home ownership pounded across the pulpit.

Go with the debt free thing. Absolutely, no question! You will not regret it.

Comfortable or not, you have made a covenant to wear your temple garments, so you should make attempts to do so. Maybe start off small, wear them for an hour a day and see how you go. Then slowly build yourself up. Endowed members shouldnt be looking for reasons not to wear their garments, but should be focusing on reasons why they are a blessing. I understand they scrunch up, get hot and sweaty and dont work with a lot of fashions. As endowed members, we are somewhat *set apart*. Where much is given, much is required. I agree they may get uncomfortable, but it is a small price to pay for the blessings the temple brings. I understand that you are having psychological issues with the garment, but you havent really elaborated enough for me to offer more advice. All the best with it

I don't usually recommend this site on here... It's secular/nondenominational/all welcome and although it is heavily moderates, people are in extreme pain, so the language & graphic nature of many posts reflect that. However it's ALSO the best place I know of to get educated about infidelity.
You don't have to go to the forums (where the language will make a sailor blush) ... 'The Healing Library' articles, books, & links has publishing standards.
What is generally thought of as most useful is understanding
- Blameshifting
- Trickle Truth
- Gaslighting
- 180
- Friends of the Affair vs Friends of the Marriage
- No Contact
- Transparency
- and probably a few things I'm forgetting
Along with basics like getting STD tests on both yourself & your kids, how to protect yourself & your kids legally (especially if you're reconciling, which may seem counterintuitive, but in divorce you have an attorney looking out for you. Reconciling, you're on your own), and what the general timeline is on both reconciliation & divorce.
SurvivingInfidelity.com - Support for Those Affected by Infidelity
Q

My father died when I was six, nearly seven years old.  When I think back on it, while growing up, the biggest fear I had was "what if my mom dies too?"  I was so scared of becoming an orphan.  Where would I live?  I didn't understand that I wouldn't be homeless, and that there was family that would take care of me.  I was also afraid of my siblings and I being split up.  Now, I look back, and think, how ungrounded this fear was.  It would have been nice to have had an adult reassure me (us) that we would have a place to live, and that we would not be split up if my mother should happen to die too.
 
Now, some harsh facts about children when a loved one dies.  They are not going to remember the deceased one, or at least have very few memories as time goes by.  That's  why pictures, journals, even short notes are sooo important.  I don't remember my father.  I would give anything to have a few pages of a journal.  One page.  One paragraph.  Anything hand written by my father would be priceless.  A hand written letter to each of his children would be a treasure.  In our family circumstance, my father died in an accident, so it was sudden, and there was no way to prepare for this.  But, I'm thinking that I want to write letters to each of my own children even though I am currently healthy.
 
I had a 19 year old daughter die in an accident almost 11 years ago.  Her youngest brother was nine years old at the time.  Several years after her death, my son came to me, in tears, and said "Mom, I'm starting to forget Shelly!"  Sadly, it is a fact of life, that as time goes by, memories start to fade.  So whatever you can do to help the children to remember their mother would be helpful.  There's already been some good advice given.  Do video tapes, scrap books, vacations, etc.
 
One of the most comforting truths that I had as a child growing up, was that I knew our family was a "forever" family.  I knew that because my parents were sealed together in the temple, that if we lived worthily we could be together again.  I look forward to the day when I will see my father and daughter again.  What a comfort the Plan of Salvation is.  It is the greatest blessing our Father has to offer us.

http://tinkerbellwantabe-family-megan.blogspot.com/
 
 
This has been the terminal cancer experience of one of my oldest and best friends (Chris).  If you want, I can put you in touch with her (Ricki) and maybe she has some advice.  PM me if you want to try and contact her.