RescueMom

Tony Porter: A call to men | Video on TED.com Maybe this video will help. Also, can his computer he does homework on be moved to a place that is more open? where he can't be alone with it? I made the move of one computer in the den, when my son and his friends got curious, and made new computer rules.

A friend of mine is from Dan...I've read her PB. My mothers says she is from mixed tribes, although her lineage (from both parents) is from pioneer, first generation church stock. In fact I have my great great great great great grandfathers PB given by Hyrum Smith, says Ephraim. I'm from Ephraim, even though my mothers PB says mixed and my father was Jewish descent. I have heard most Muslims believe they are of the lineage Ishmeal or at least Mohammad was his descendant. Something like that, I am not 100% sure and this maybe entirely off base.

I don't have fear because of bad things not happening to me, I expect them too. I don't have fear because: and because the worst the enemy can do is kill me. My eternal salvation is up to me, not them. If they take all I have and destroy it, if I have faith and have done the works required, I will be saved. And if I am tortured and beaten and my body is torn to bits, I will be saved. The storm does not frighten me. The wolves may howl and chase me but I am not afraid. For in the end, after I have endured this pains and temptations of this life, my Shepard will be there. I try to make it easier on him by staying close by him. Call it simplistic and idealistic, but he's already saved me. If I end up a slave to some cruel men, beaten every day, those actions will not keep me out of the celestial kingdom. It's my actions that determine that and I can't even do that without Christ.

This video is clearly abuse beyond just discipline of a spanking. The verbal abuse is horrid, the physical by both parents is bad, and I am sorry just because the father talked the mother into it doesn't make the mother less guilty, IMHO. I know the mother has since apologized and has gotten therapy and repented, which is great. But the Judge (who presides over child abuse cases) hasn't so much as said he was sorry, in fact, just like in the video says the girl deserved the beating. In my opinion, first spanking a teenager is mostly useless, sure a swat on the behind for small children works, but after a certain age, if the parent hasn't learned better discipline skills for an older child....they need parenting classes. Second, the beating was over pirated music, and yes I know the harm in that, but to beat a child for 8 minutes for pirated music seems a very harsh punishment, what is she had come home pregnant??? would he have killed her to teach her a lesson? Had I been her parent, I would have simply told her she would not have internet access again, and made sure she had no access to the internet for a long time, even if I had to disconnect the net at the home. I would have started with some parental locks on all internet access, had a professional set it up so she wouldn't be able to hack into it and had a cop friend come over and explain that stealing on the internet is still stealing (I'd have the cop put the fear of G-d into her, play the bad cop).

Oh and one more thing...my NPD boy manipulated the therapist several times into thinking he was changing (which lasted a few months). That's how good he was. If your husband really changes it will be evident in about 6 months, they can't keep the mask on that long.

The Oz book is a good book. As a person who was in a relationship with a person diagnosed with NPD....my gut tells me to tell you to run...run far...run fast and don't look back. But I don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship. I do know that NPD is very seldom cured, because the narcissist doesn't think anything is wrong. That most narcissists have a real self and a false self, the false self is wonderful to be around, charming and fun, and seems too good to be true (because they are) but once the mask falls off, it's off...and oh boy it's not pretty. The other thing I have learned is they view other humans the way we normal people view objects..i.e. computer ect. replaceable and only there for their use and once you don't fit that prescribed mold then the narcissist has a hard time not replacing you. And I disagree with the post about healing the sexual addiction and the narcissist will be healed, sex to them is not what is is to us, it's a power thing and the other person is just a tool, just like all tools they use for all their other life issues. If it isn't sex, they will have some other obsession to make themselves feel superior to everyone, be it they are the best baseball coach, or best lover. It doesn't matter so long as the world (in their mind) thinks they are the best. If you decide to stay with him, stay in therapy for yourself (you're going to need it). If you decide to leave be prepared to leave the state you live in and cut off all contact with him (even if you have kids). He will manipulate the kids, other family members and other friends against you, be prepared for that. I have not known any of them who haven't been master manipulators in one form or another and they can turn almost anyone against their object of hate. Also, fair warning, if you leave and keep in contact with him he will try to manipulate you back into the relationship...on tactic they like to use is they will say they are going to kill themselves if you don't come back (emotional blackmail). 9 times out of 10 they won't, it's a ploy. Gosh I hope this isn't too over the top, but it took me years to get passed my relationship with Mr. NPD and that includes years of therapy.

42.

My brother....from the time he was about 3 until 5, I had him convinced the trees in our yard were imaginary. Our mother was none too impressed with me, especially since they had built a really nice tree house that my brother didn’t play in for a few years, because the trees weren’t real. I also had him convinced our uncle was our aunt and his wife was our uncle…he called them Uncle Joan and Aunt Grant for years on end. I also had my kids convinced of snipes….we went on snipe hunts all the time. In fact the joke grew to involve their friends, who I ended up taking with us on a snipe hunt when they were all around 12 or so. Funniest thing ever was watching a bunch of pre-teen kids wonder around the wilderness clapping their hands in rhythm trying to hunt snipes. I had a whole choreographed snipe hunt ritual my kids still talk about today, which I can’t remember but they can.

one of my best friends was a non-member, had an abortion when she was a non-member, found the church, repented, became a fully active member and got married in the temple last month. She's been a fully active member for over 10 years. So yes, she can go to the temple, get sealed and everything. Amazing how the Atonement of Christ works.

I think pedophilia is a learned choice, and once learned can not be unlearned. The ability to change a pedophile is almost impossible, hence such a high repeat rate in them....and they always seem to escalate the crime. And it has more to do with controlling the other person (child) and stealing innocence than it does with sexuality. Not that it doesn't have to do with the pedophiles sexuality, it's how they get aroused but it has more to do with the control aspect of their brains, which have been trained, rewired wrong (usually through their own abuse as children). I don't think a baby is born with those traits, but is groomed and taught that it is ok through years of abuse. A good lot of people don't get the wires warped but some do, especially if their is not a good loving family support system to help heal the abuse. Most gang members were victims of sexual abuse as children, or at least physical abuse...of course they will grow up without any self esteem or value of life, no one valued them. Most prostitutes and exotic dancers have been abused sexually as children. Most porn actors/actresses were abused sexually as children. Druggies usually come from backgrounds of abuse, physical or sexual or both. To say it is not part of society already is to be putting our heads in the sand. The problem I have with the way things are handled now is we (society) victimize the victim of these crimes by making them feel used, not pure. It takes work and time to heal these kind of hurts, and with some it can not be healed in this lifetime. And on the other topic, I love Good Omens.

I think dressing appro. is important, especially if we are members and have been taught what it means to be reverent. However, if the guy covered in tatooes and piercings wants to come to church and has nothing but torn jeans and an old t-shirt, I'd be more than happy to have him sit next to me during sacrament. Yes I believe he needs to be there regardless of his dress. A persons outside dress tells tons about how much they need Christ in their lives, or how much the already have him in their lives. We should see people as missionary opportunities, not as those who don't know how to dress.

I have been to both Utah and non-Utah wards. I live in non-Utah now. I just got back from the southeastern US and the culture is different. However, the doctrine is the same. For example in Utah most of all the men where white shirts and have the short hair cut. In Utah there are enough people to serve in the ward with an abundance, the buildings are 5 minutes away. In the southeast it takes several small towns to make a ward, not everyone shows up in the white shirt attire, and most in the church there hold more than two callings to make the church function. And the church buildings are more often than not 45 minutes to an hour away. Is one better than the other. Nope. And the doctrine is exactly same.

Yes...I always wanted to be born during the space travel time in the future. I hear it's awesome, being able to travel in a space ship at warp 8 speed, through out the universe. ;-) Anyway sometimes I do think I was born in the wrong time. But here I am, nothing I can do about it now, but I would have loved to live in a simpler time....but I bet the people in the 1800 thought the same thing.

I don't know of any, but it would be cool if they had some.

Just to point out...Christ, never once, rode in a Hummer. I think being providing good husbandry to the earth is important, and part of the test we are given. It's like a parent giving the kids the keys to the car and telling them to take care of it. Sure we can have a wild party, drop the oil pan over a few speed bumps, invite all our friends to ride in it with us, but in the end we still have to come home and explain what the heck happened. Or we can take care of it, not tear it up and maybe get the chance to drive it again at some other point, or even....get it handed down to us freely titled and all. The planet/animals are just like that, IMHO. Either we can prove we can take care of each other and our Fathers things and be responsible with them...or not. Now I am not saying we have to be all extremist and all that stuff, but the WoW tells us to have moderation in all thing, including what we eat. We are told to be as self supporting as possible, raise our own gardens, can our own food....all of which are environmentally sound if done right.

Ok I got a question...Beef bourguignon? Calls for 3 cups of wine. Anyone know the substitution for it? I see for small amounts but what about large amounts.

1. Unicorns are real. 2. Obama is not De Gaulle nor is he Hitler nor is he Stalin. He might be doing a bad job or a good job, depending on POV. Judge him on his own merits and skip everything else. 3. You already are. The real question is how does all of this play out in our eternal prospective. Can we face our HF in honesty, with our many arguments that we use to defend our opinions here, when he asks how we helped in the eternal salvation of our brothers and sisters.

I agree with Loudmouth's take on self reliance, but why does that mean we live all alone in a hole in the ground. We are not meant to live solely alone within our own little world. Will there be evil, yes there will be, will there be people who steal our food even if we are armed and defend it, you betcha. But that doesn't mean we live like little gollums hoarding our rings of gold fearful of everyone and everything. If and when the whole of society falls apart, we will try to retain some of our humanity...our Christianity. We can either submit to our natural man instinct or rise above it. Does that mean we just hand over our food and belongings? No it doesn't. But it doesn't mean we sit terrified of everyone else. Prepare according to what has been asked by the Prophets, do the best you can to do that preparation, that includes temporal and spiritual. We must learn to cook in unconventional manners, that we might not need to shower every day, that we know how to build a fire with out matches, ect....or even how to take a job that is beneath our education and experience to feed our families, or how to live in an apartment instead of a 3000 square foot house and how to walk to work instead of drive. And mostly that after all we have done and prepared for at some point our faith will have to get us through. Perhaps remembering that the pioneers left everything, houses, land, food stuffs and clothes on the trek to Utah, with nothing more than the word of the Prophet to comfort them. There was no promise of a better job, internet, a good car, lots of food, just a promise that they would live to see a better day and live un-persecuted because of their religion. All generations have been called upon to make sacrifices, now is our turn. Either we can rise, do what is requested of the Prophets, including helping the poor and service to fellow men (there are three things listed in Provident Living not just Self-Reliance). It will be hard, but if it was easy it wouldn't be worth it.

I follow the what the Prophets have taught us, but in the end and against a mob, even being armed and shooting didn't save Joseph. His days, just like our days are numbered. We can not add one more day to our or our children's, families lives. Regardless of how prepared we are. Yes we are commanded to be prepared and should in all cases do that. But after all the work we can do and all preparation we can do, we can only be saved in this world and in the next by the Atonement. That is why D&C 122 verses 8 & 9 are so important. Even though 'the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good'....therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever. We can do what we need to do, prepare all we can. And then we need to put away our fears, if we have done what the prophets have commanded. Because the worst they can do is kill us and our children for our food. That's it, that's the worst they can do. Call me crazy but I actually believe that 2000 years ago Christ won this war, so if they rape and murder me, he's been through worse...and won. So the worst they can do to me is kill me....I'm going to die anyway, my days are numbered, I can choose to live in fear and let that fear destroy my faith or I can prepare as best as I can and have faith in some one who has descended below them all...and I am not greater than he.

I prefer reading D&C 122, especially verse 8. I don't know why but it gives me comfort in the face of people stealing my food and possessions and perhaps even my life. It also makes me want to be more charitable towards others, and if the Church wants my stuff they can have it.

Disfellowshipment is right before excommunication, however, I think sometimes it is rougher punishment than excommunication for the truly repentant. With excommunication the person can walk away, forget completely and will if they are not truly repentant. So if a person is just looking for a quick fix to ease their own regrets and are not really repentant excommunication simply frees them of the burden. Where as disfellowshipment to a truly repentant person maybe harder than excommunication for them, because it can last longer than a year (it is determined by Bishop) and is much more of a limbo (Catholic term here) than excommunication. i.e., you are within reach of heaven but are denied entry. But with excommunication heaven isn't so much in view and unless one is truly repentant then excommunication is the easy way out...IMHO. For example I had a friend, who had received his endowments, wanted out of the church after a few years, simply slept with his girlfriend, confessed and was excommunicated....he hasn't looked back since, it was all part of his plan, he knew he would be ex'd and it was his way out. He took it. He has since went back to being a Baptist, says he only joined the Church because he was at a fragile state in his life and wasn't thinking straight. So in his mind getting out was the best thing possible and he took a way that he knew would get him out. Had he been disfellowshiped, I think he would have grown resentful and angry, he wasn't really repentant. That's why I say sometimes disfellowshipment is tougher than excommunication, of course it all depends on the situation and the person involved. And as L_M said a person who is truly repentant will welcome the discipline, if not they will resent it and say the Priesthood authority is wrong in their judgments (seen this happen too).

From my understanding in the mythology, some think it was Lillith that gave the apple to Eve, not the devil. Just my .2 cents worth anyway.

In Jewish mythology, Adams First Wife (yup First not second) was Lillith. She refused to submit to him sexually because they both were created from the dust, not her from the rib. When God told her that she was supposed to submit she left the Garden of Eden, mated with the devil and made demons. She also vowed to destroy all the children of Adams second wife Eve when they were born, thus lullabies are supposed to scare her off. However, in the end, she was supposed to love Adam more than Eve and that is why she is so angry and he was supposed to love her more than Eve due to the fact she was an equal to Adam and was able to hold a conversation with him on higher knowledge. She is supposed to mourn the loss of her marriage to Adam after Judgement happens, but until then she is supposed to be destroying Eve's children, either as infants, or through sexual temptation and other vices. Again this is all mythology, and my understanding of the story.

anything wrapped in a tortilla would work too. But the BBQed Chicken sounds good to me.

I do believe the shifting of the wheat and tares is beginning to happen, and it will only be those who have a strong testimony in the Atonement of Christ that will make it (notice I did not say testimony of anything else). If our foundation in the Atonement is not strong, everything else will be driven from us. If a person is going to church for societal reasons they will be left behind. In the end all that we will have left to cling to is the Atonement, the Savior will be all that saves us and we must have faith in him to endure what is coming, because all else will fail, only He and His Atonement will stand the storm that is just beginning to rage.