girlygirl

Can I just put this out there that I went to a self defense class once and they told us that predators go for women wearing loose clothing and not tight fitted clothes because of the easier accessibility??? Just saying...

Mahone, I agree with you completely it is ridiculous that they are doing this to their own people who own business and are employing their fellow men. Please don't think I am justifying their actions however I really do understand the frustrations they are going through

I would like to add into my comments this is also a result of the 'me' generation. Where 10% of the population is rich and 90% is poor, and with the likes of media and tv shoving down their throats that we should be entitled to have a huge mansion, sports car, ect. when they don't even have enough to make ends meet can be pretty frustrating. Did anyone hear today that Ashton Kutcher is getting paid $700,000 per episode on TV? Heck, I bet he spends that on a pair of shoes, when there are people being foreclosed on and not able to buy their own groceries in the same country as him I can see why people would get angry and riot Is the rioting justified? No more no less as the peasants stealing from the nobility during the French revolution. What changed? The nobility has been replaced by the economic elite who like the nobility did very little for the common man.

My heart goes out to England. The people are in alot of trouble. I remember my ex boyfriend making a comment to me when he was in law school how his white friends complain they have to go to a muslim, asian, black etc. doctor.. when all the people at university are minorities and he was one of the only few white people in his class! I think there is alot of racial tension that the minorities and immigrants are taking jobs. As well finding work out there is crazy! I remember it took me six months to just find a minimum paying job working at the grocery store! I applied everywhere and each time I got the comment, well we have so many CV's we will be holding interviews for the rest of the week with different candidates... People are in debt, there is no work, it is overcrowded. And people get to see the rich become richer. Also- if you look up booze Britain.. the drinking problem in England is out of control. Really its nuts- try walking down the street past 5pm and people are already drunk and agressive. It is the only escape people and youngsters have it is ruining their lives!! My heart goes out to the UK we are really living in troubling times!

Are the tithing and offerings heavily emphasized? I would feel it is human nature to just not pay anything if it was seen as more optional... I just feel like the LDS church is so black and white mainly because of the 'rules' to get into the temple, and I find it really interesting and great that people from other faiths can live up to what is expected of them without a temple goal.

Thanks very much for your response! I have gone to other churches before to visit and volunteered at a United Church recently and had some thoughts reeling through my head since then. I guess just one more question with my point 2- do any churches crack down on rules as much as mormons though? Because we have to be worthy to go to the temple and repent and confess before we go to the temple I really feel like this separates us from other denominations. Are some churches really cut and dry like we are? And if they are- must they confess just like we do? It seems without the temple standard you could do alot of things pretty undetected thus not really obeying what is commanded of you?? Im asking this because it seems to me as people have spoken to me the 'rules' are a bit fuzzy and from what I gather most religions preach it is between you and God to decern what is right and wrong and to repent. Is there even a repentance process in other churches? (Besides Catholic confessions)

A few questions if anyone could give me some insight on them that would be great- 1. How do other Churches pay for themselves? We have tithing, what do they implement? Just wondering how they run their churches and pay for them. 2. Are mormons the only ones who crack down on standards? I feel like we have rules that are very black and white- ei. word of wisdom- where as other churches seem to have 'ideals' of what you should live up to? 3. How come other churches can congregate together? It seems like my christian friends all can swap between each church however not the lds. I am not trying to disrespect any other churches these are genuine questions I am really interested in and that I feel I haven't been able to get solid answers on.

Hmm all of your guys posts are great but I think you all generally bring up a big point- starting a family is going to be a huge impact on my life with great priority changes. I liked who said 'bowling with the boys isn't as important', this is soo true. Thanks for the posts you all definitely put some things into perspective!

Skippy740- yes I was waiting for a response like this one. Answers like this seem like a cop out to me. Is it so wrong to want to be financially responsible and make sure you are in a secure position to raise a family? Or should I just be gun-ho and start popping out kids right away?

1- It would be a struggle as my husband is starting out a career and it will take a while for him to achieve a good salary. 2- Yes! (uggh... I'm guessing I shouldn't haha) 3- Honestly not at the moment, young adults non lds in their twenties aren't really that family orientated...

Okay I have been posting alot of threads on here but the advice I get on this board is really great and helpful so I am hoping someone can give me their spin on my thoughts. I am planning on having kids in the next few years or so with my husband (we are newly weds.) I know this is going to sound really selfish but I am scared of living off of one income. Right now we both earn reasonable amounts of cash and are able to do the extras like eat out, pay to do fun stuff, plus have a bit extra after the bills are payed, but this is only because we have two incomes. I see alot of young mormon families who are dirt poor living on one income and I will admit it does frighten me and I do not want to be in that situation. We have been trying to build up our lives to not be in that situation by saving money, buying a home, etc. But I still worry it will catch up with us once I am not working. (By the way I plan on raising my kids and staying at home not sending them off to daycare, we were both raised with stay at home moms and value that alot.) Most of my friends are non lds and young professionals. They are unfortunately not kid friendly and I am worried they will not want to spend time with me and my kids once I have them, and that I will not be able to have the freedom to leave the house to see them as much, or even money that matter to go out with them, and I will be left out and be depressed at home! Does anyone have any experiences with this and or how to overcome them? I know it sounds selfish but its hard to live a certain lifestyle and plunge into something different so I hope you can be understanding!

Yes, the family thing really doesn't help, its getting to the point where when they introduce my husband to other mormons by saying, 'yes he is a new member baptised almost a year now, soon to be taking our daughter/ sister/ whatever to the temple to be sealed'. If we take the classes, should we say upfront we will take them but not sure if we plan on going immediately after the classes? Or will it matter? I just don't want to take them and then feel super pressured. Also MarinofError will they actually answer these questions? Before my husband got baptised the missionaries asked him if he had any questions. He wanted to know what garments were- and you know what his answer was? He said he didn't fully know himself. Then told us how his parents have seven kids but he doesn't ask his parents how they go there and the details.. alluding that we don't have to know about the garments. Afterwards this obviously worries me and my husband that they basically skirted around the question. Im worried as well as he is that we are going to these classes, won't get any answers, and just the warm fuzzies of how families can be together forever and allusiveness about how important the temple is. That would be pretty frustrating if we want to know answers and wont get any..

For those who haven't seen my other posts a brief background on my marriage, I married a year ago to a non member, was looked down on for doing so by family and told not to, but did knowing in my heart he would be baptized in 'his time' and not because my family was pressuring him to do so. We now attend church regularly (he got baptized last November), and he is really getting a strong testimony of the gospel which I am happy to see as I knew it would happen through much prayer :) HOWEVER. The temple has always scared him. We drove to our closest one once so I could show him one in real life and he said it looked like a scary impenetrable fortress I am not endowed as yet but he has asked me many questions about garments, baptism for the dead etc. which I am not able to answer to him which makes him even more worried about the 'secrecy' of the temple. He was able to depend on me to answer all of his other gospel questions, and is super anxious that I can't answer really anything about what happens inside the temple other then the illusive 'sacred ordances' ect.. Because we have been married for over a year and he will be coming up to one year as a member we were approached last sunday to take temple prep classes. My family has really been emphasizing to him that he MUST get married to me in the temple which freaks him out. I said yes to the classes, however after church he talked to me and said he really does not want to go to the temple, and that taking the classes will just give the impression we want to go which he doesn't want to do so we shouldn't be going. He is a really methodical person and needs to mull over something in his mind until it makes sense and he can commit to it- this is what he did with getting baptized, he had to really look into the gospel before he could commit to it. However I think he hates that he can't know what he is committing to before he accepts to go to the temple and its too late to turn back.. I can really understand his worries. I think he has looked some stuff up on the internet and doesn't understand why he can't learn about this before he has to go. So my question is, should I push us to go to the temple prep classes or tell bishop we are not ready and we do not want to go?? He promised me he would go before we have kids but I get the feeling he wants to delay the temple sealing because up till not he has really accepted the gospel but he feels the temple side of it is where it gets 'cultish', which he doesn't want to be apart of.

Does this have any relation on why house prices have gone up so much? I work in Real Estate in Canada and don't understand how a house selling for $300k 6 or so years ago is now selling for 1.2 million????!

When I was first dating my husband he was not a member, and in fact atheist. He was so adamant there was no God that it really started rubbing off on me. He refused to go to Church too. I slowly started to feel my testimony weaken (when you love someone you also grow to love what they stand for and believe)... Feeling myself slacken in my Church attendance and visualize our future together with our two opposing views I thought about my future without Church. And no, I realized I couldn't not go to Church for him. I decided everything he loved and admired in my opposed to other regular run of the mill non lds girls is from how I was raised and Church. I realized everything I hated and wished he didn't do was because he didn't go to Church. So the answer was pretty simple. Hang onto the iron rod!

Im a young and married female... As soon as I got married I was bombarded with the when are you gona have kids??!!! Questions, not fun. I'm not ready yet even though my husband wants kids. I do want them eventually, just not now. I think when people do not have kids the biggest regret will be when they are grey and old and do not have a loving family around them. Perhaps you should ask her to take that into consideration? With my parents getting older with 16 grankids so far I can really sit back and appreciate how much joy having a family is in your twilight years :)

Because you did not at all understand my post, I will summarize for you what I was trying to say and hopefully you have heard of this one before: let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. Your post has offended many and rightfully so. Let me ask you this- if an investigator young woman came to your ward wearing what she though was her nicest church dress which was low cut and sleeveless would you be there with a welcoming handshake and hello or ignore her? (I think you have already answered this yourself.) I hope in future you take everyone's comments to heart and treat every woman- from temple endowed to gogo dancer like who they are- daughters of our heavenly father.

Why are you using the church as a scape goat when this sounds like it is YOUR rule? I had plenty of friends in my early twenties who were not allowed boyfriends/ opposite sex to sleep in their room, and they were not members. Religious or not a house rule is a house rule. You pay the bills for the roof over his head so he needs to listen and respect you and your house! Tell him if he wants to sleep in the same room they can pay $200 at a hotel to sleep in the same room with her.. okay, maybe don't go that far.. haha

I agree with Eowyn, make sure you copy all of the facebook evidence down that you can, print it, and keep it somewhere! I have heard that facebook is extremely effective evidence in court... Not to say that it will boil down to that, but if he starts denying things- make sure you have the evidence!!!

Shame on you Martain! To suggest that endowed women are more appealing then non! Heard about the prostitute washing Jesus' feet? You have a very narrow point of view. This reminds me of my ex boyfriend. His mom would get mad at me when I wore a skirt about my knees opposed to covering them (in the summer when it was hot), while her son was allowed to walk around shirtless and didn't even see this as immodest! Did you know that these girls actually have low self esteem, that they feel bad wearing those clothes but do it to get attention, then when they do they feel worse because its the wrong kind of attention? Maybe you should not judge so much, it is hard for a girl to try and look attractive while modest when there are girls walking around half naked to compete with, let alone with peter priesthoods scrutinizing their every outfit choice!

I think you should try and read 'the Four Loves' by C.S Lewis, love is not just purely for your spouse, so just because you have more love to share does not mean you need another one! It defines each as to not confuse each other, you can be very close to someone but it doesn't mean they should be your partner. Love is expressed through many actions and circumstances, including charity, maybe you should focus these extra feelings of needing to love another into service for your fellow being instead of worrying about something that will not happen in this life??? Sounds like you have alot of time to worry about this, perhaps challenging these feelings into something more constructive would be better?

In my eyes, if the prophet was commanding me to do something and did the opposite- I do not think I could follow those words. That is where my curiosity rest with JS. It doesn't matter if I made a covenant if it was made with the words from the prophet and they drank alcohol like you said I don't know if I could stomache that too well! (No pun intended! lol)

defenderofzion- make sure you tell someone, if not your bishop- at least someone close to you that you can tell in person (not the net like here)- why is this so important? Because when you do something wrong, it makes you feel cruddy, when you have done something wrong though and someone KNOWS it makes you feel accountable, and gives you this different sense of not wanting to do it again because if you do- you will have to tell this person again and it is embarrassing (ei. your bishop). Trust me I am no psychologist but this does work! When you are just hurting yourself it is easier to slip up. When someone is keeping tabs on you you will give it a second though before you slip up. Also, have you heard of Pavlov's Dog? (if not look it up) the dog salivates when the bell rings. This is what you are TRAINING to your mind. When you see something risque you will be turned on. You are training your brain to go through tons of images of women to stimulate yourself. Like with pornography. But guess what? When you are with a real girl and she is not airbrushed/ plastic surgery/ (basically not unrealistic) you run the risk of not being attracted to her because that is not what you have trained yourself to be attracted to! You will have trained your brain to see multiple women vs. your eternal partner, and will let your mind wander then just be focused on her! You are you young and can break the habit, please be careful as this can potentially harm you and your future spouse! Also- make sure you are not going on sites with racy ads, watching a ton of MTV, etc. which will tempt you. Make sure you keep busy with activities with teams or groups of people so you are not by yourself bored and tempted. Try to have things to fill up your spare time.

Does anyone know if Joseph Smith drank beer even after the Word of Wisdom was implemented? Someone told me that he did and it just refereed to hard alcohol??

Losthurtandconfused, this seems pretty normal to me, and happens to more people then just you, and certainly should not be a dealbreaker (I am referring to point 1). Intimacy is wonderful at first, and then once the initial 'honey moon' stage is over, its hard to rekindle those feelings. Sounds like your wife probably has alot on her plate with kids and being a mom and wife. She resists your advances but I am sure loves you very much. As a female I can tell you she is not trying to hurt your feelings, but it might be hard to have the same sex as you did when you were first intimate. You know how you get the butterfly feeling at first when you are inlove and then it grows into a deeper love? It sounds like you are still chasing for that butterfly feeling when that stage of your life should mature into a new one. No I am not saying your sex life should be non existent. But other things will take priority and you will have to work harder for it. Maybe go online and try to pin point what you can do to cater to her feelings of intimacy? Ei- I read that if you are full of food your libido goes WAY down. Are you asking for it at the wrong times? I just know me personally sometimes I dont want to- but I would definitely hope my partner would understand and not be hurt or angry! I think you guys need alot of compromise and need to work on that a little. Maybe ask her what you can do to make it better. I know it is not your fault but if you are the one complaining then you are the one who needs to bridge the gap. Hope that helps a little!