EarlJibbs

1st councilor in the Bishopric and now the YM president. By far the hardest calling I have had. Lots of people keep busy and progressing. Luckily I have great people to work with that help me stay organized.

I am sorry for your situation Christina. I for one have never been the "I work all day so you do everything else" person and I am a full time working Man. I do not see it as right. After all, being a stay at home Mother is a full time job as well. And when do Mothers get a break? When is their time to "leave the job?" But it sounds like the root of the problem is the verbal abuse? Is there physical abuse as well? If you can work through it and he can change his behavior, then that is the best of course, but there should be no reason you have to live like that. We dont sign up for a lot of things in marrage, but we do sign up with the hope that we as couples can work together, and it doesnt seem like that is happening. If you are staying in an abusive relationship for your children... that may not be the best reasoning. They need a good influence so they do not follow in his footsteps in my opinion.

PC! I hope your day goes most excellent!

My Mother gave me recently a booklet I made in pre-school that had my profile cut our on paper, some Q&A about how I saw life and some doodles. It was very cool to show my kids that I wasnt much different. Now if she handed me a boxfull of items that looks just like what my kids do, it would have been too much. I think keeping a few items that reflect who you were and how you thought are the best items. I think Men in Women in general are different in this aspect. My wife wants to save a lot, I on the other hand have to talk her into throwing a lot of stuff out. I do like the idea of taking a picture of art work. I think I will start scanning those in and making a folder on the computer for that. Thanks Bini!

I love the fact that there are a lot of hymns that weren't written by LDS and were from so long ago. It reminds me that God influences all. Inspiration can be found anywhere.

"Greatness in the church" can be probably be only defined by yourself and Heavenly Father. I am not sure that your shyness would keep you away from that becoming truth. I am not sure what others think the greatness means, but I do not think of any calling as greater than another. They are all needed, some just more than others. If you serve in the capacity you are called and help anyone at all, I would call that greatness in the Lords eyes. If the shyness isnt clinical, that often times can be helped over time. If you get to know the people you are serving, you should be less shy around them... after time.

I think we have a great online community here. I look forward to reading Wingnuts posts on any subject (along with a lot of others). Wingnut says it how it is.

I played competetive volleyball in Highschool. I joined a club team that traveled and played in tournaments. We went to California (only Utah Team to go) and we played Friday evening, most Saturday and a good portion of Sunday. I actually didnt know we were playing on Sunday, but when I found out, I was already there. I played with a heavy heart. We then went to the beach to end the trip. By the end of the day, I forgot it was even Sunday and had this empty feeling in my heart. Now I wouldnt describe myself as especially spiritual at that age but I knew why I felt that way. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I will always remember it. But the sad part for me, is that I will always remember it first for the blatant all day disreguard for the Sabath... after that I remember everything else (like bleaching my hair with the rest of the team :) ) So it is a good memory, but tainted...for me anyway.

I enjoy small performances. I suppose one at a tavern is small enough. Is it the music, the tavern, or the fact that all of this is on Sunday that would make us decide? Would it change anyones opinions if the dad had the chance to simply meet the band he so enjoys at a more respectable place on Sunday?

So I disagree in one part with Anddenex. Maybe you should talk to your bishop and SP to let them know your suspicions and how your husband reacts to certain phrases. I think it is great for a leader to know what he is dealing with. But I do agree with Anddenex that we shouldnt place all of what you have learned with the Bishop. I am not sure that will help him guide, lead or judge. My heart goes out to you. I am no stranger to mental illnesses. With that in mind, I do beleive that you are attacking this from the wrong angle. Telling your Bishop and SP or other leaders all about your husbands trials cannot possibly lead to your husband getting help if your husband is not involved. You may very well learn how to skirt around his problems, but one should not expect the rest of the world to do the same. For that, he needs to get help for himself, not others. He will need to accept the fact that what he is dealing with is not his fault and move to remedy it. Best of luck.

Yeah, heaven forbid that we let our "friends" know what is happening. If you really know the people posting anything, you will know their tone they do it in. The problem is when you accept anyone you know to your FB page (...oh, I saw met you at a conference once...I remember you from gradeschool...) and you never talk to them or havent in a million years. Then what you say can be seen as "insensitive" and "tacky"....etc... A rule could be, if you saw your friends in person and would talk about stuff... why not post it on FB. And the other rule would be, if you dont like what your friends post on FB, are they really your friends? As soon as I start seeing things from people on FB that I dont like and I never see them in real life? Gone! This post was hijacked :)

Post his number here and we will all text him that he needs to stop harassing you over it :) ....joking of course, I dont want him to have my number. But the thought of him getting a lot of texts from different people sounds amuzing.

Amazing. They have good footage on this on youtube.

When problems arise with anything, the deepest pockets get sued.

So I had a big long post written out, then I deleted it when I realised I could just write a short one summarizing the outcome. Talk to him about it. Understand where he is coming from. Hopefully he understands where you are coming from and you both can compromise.

Just pierce them. As others have mentioned, your fiance says he is okay with it, that is who you are going to be living with. Your mom will have to understand that she isnt going to be #1 now.

Therein lies a problem to the comment. There is a HUGE difference in a bond and promises made between husband/wife and then siblings. I also have family that drinks and smokes. Would they ever ask me to pick them up a smoke? No, because they too know what I beleive. If I am with them at the store and they buy a pack of beer, I am not going to be offended. Heck, if they ask me to get a cofee at a drive through, I would get it, sure. But we are talking about a relationship that has been going on for over 20 years and this is a new experience for the husband. The respect for what is beleived will come with time, as it does with family. You dont just come home one day and say "get your own beer" and expect to carry a loving relationship.

I am not so sure that she would be enabling him. Would he be able to without her? Sure. Would he still have these unhealthy habits if she says she wont buy it for him? Of course. Unless you have some sort of control over the situation I am doubtful a decision not to buy the items would help. I think you are doing okay Paw. Maybe it will get to the point that he understands what you are doing at church and no longer asks you. Maybe it could even help him change some habits in the future. But I see no reasons to make waves. It is not like he just started to smoke and drink out of the blue, that would be totally different. I am glad to hear that you have been attending. Stay strong!

Amen to that! Although it is a volunteer role, those that are asked to volunteer are often very unqualified. I happen to be one of them haha! Fotunately for me I have others that are with me that really know what they are doing and guide me by the reins.

Not sure where the "many LDS people" you are around are from...

If you cannot afford counceling and you both agree that it would help, talk to your Bishop. He should be able to direct you to LDS family services and help with the costs. Did your wife come from a family that did not have money issues? that may have something to do with it.

And replace it with caffeinated soda...

Remember that it often may not be the "bad things" that are holding us down, But the things that simply waste our time away. I know what you are saying with the games with friends. I used to play video games (WoW included)with friends and family and it was a blast. But I have to tell you that I have nothing to show for it. If Satan can only get us to do nothing and be idle, he wins. Fill your time with worthwhile things and you may find happiness creeping back into your life, to the point that you look back at this time and can definitely see the diference. Best of luck.

I think this goes against what the church has already stated, and that was that no leaders should speculate on the outcome. By not renewing and waiting, they are speculating. We are not the stock market, where every little things makes people not invest because they are waiting. If the church was ran like that, I am sure we wouldnt have much progress. Business as normal. They should re-charter and pay up. I understand what your boss is doing, you dont make a business decision to go hard and tough on your consumers unless they are taking advantage/manipulaating the company. For now, I think your boss is doing the right thing. Keep customers happy....but that is not saying the customers are correct.

You will most likely have to start with your Bishop again. I think there is maybe a few month period inbetween them that they like to have everything finished up in. Good Luck!