NightSG

You know how to tell when you're in a Baptist church? You wake up and they're still praying. I've "drifted" during a meeting to the point of wondering who was talking, then realized it was me.

Well, you don't have to let it go. You can hold on to it all you want. Just don't drink it. (Incidentally, that seems to be the philosophy of at least a few women over at LDSPlanet. Profile says current TR, but half the pics show her in a tube dress holding a Bud Light.)

You win. I mean, at least Zardoz had a sort of cheesy charm...and a Webley Fosberry Automatic Revolver.

Awkward moment; elderly Baptist minister giving the invocation at a local political rally starts to slur a bit, about ten seconds in, then mumble, then snore gently. Fortunately, he woke up quickly, and was clear headed enough to mumble "amen," sparing anyone else having to take over, and making it one of the shortest prayers I've ever heard from a Baptist. Presumably, he'll be praying with his head up and eyes open from now on :) ETA: I have, in the past, partaken of the great pastime of leaving a snoozing person in the office/church/theater/bus while everybody else sneaks out quietly and turns off the lights. Might be hard to organize in the temple, though. (Oh come on, you know the Lord has a sense of humor, too.)

That's the key. Some of the nudity was artistically justifiable and relevant. A fair amount of it seemed to just be "we paid good money for this hot actress, so we gotta show her naked more."

Wow. I mean, really; wow. She fooled around and his consolation was getting to trade down by twenty years?!? I never could prove my ex wife was fooling around, but I suspected strongly enough not to object when she filed for divorce. Can't believe I let an opportunity like that get by me.

You should be able to port your Alltel number to Google Voice, though I've heard the Blackberry app is a bit clunky for advanced features. You can always access those through the GV website, though. http://voice.google.com It will also transcribe voicemails and text them to you, so it's handy for getting a quick and quiet summary of a voice message.

What carrier do you use, and do you have a smartphone? If you can set the number to fully integrate with Google Voice, you can block them pretty easily. If they try to call you, they get a "not in service" message, and I think it will also reroute texts straight to GV's spam folder without sending them to your phone.

It takes a strong man to make the best of it when the Lord tells him he should be in jail.

Well, if you'd told us as soon as he started, it would have been easy; find the hairiest, lumpiest guy you know, and get him to pose in bike shorts and a wife beater, making a kissy face. Send the pic to your stalker with a message that you really want to get together soon.

You know, this reminds me of a scene from Life of Brian. Considering the "Pregnant man gives birth" thread reminded me of the scene right before this one, I'm worried about where today's theme is headed.

All of them? Well, I guess the rest of us can sit back, then. You're going to be pretty pruned after the first couple million baptisms, though.

I haven't had tonsils since I was 6. Does that mean I get to go farther than the people who still have them?

That explains a lot about some of my extended family.

This is interesting to me, and I have to wonder if it's detrimental to the program overall. My old scoutmaster (non Church troop) is still involved. AFAIK, he was a scoutmaster for at least 2 years before I joined the troop at 11, and has been continuously active with Scouting ever since. (I'm now 36.) That sort of experience is helpful in a lot of situations. Even our assistant scoutmasters were generally around for 5 years or more. I can't imagine someone taking it on without it being at least a 4-6 year spot.

Am I the only one wondering why Jesus has such pale toes?

Not sure how Brazil handles it, but many countries require you to obtain citizenship in another country before you can formally renounce your original citizenship. Given that I know people who have been here for more than a decade as permanent residents, gainfully employed and actively trying to obtain US citizenship, I would have to say that this is something that should be considered on a case-by-case basis.

It took Him a full day to quit giggling after creating the platypus.

Exactly, and I would be willing to bet (except that, what would we bet that we would still have when it's time to find out?) that a lot of being "perfected" is simply gaining the ability to see yourself as those who love you most see you.

It's right around a mile for me, and my commute bike would be a Trek 7100, so even the suit shouldn't be much of an issue as long as I don't try to sprint the whole way. Unfortunately, the last couple of Sundays we had a major headwind, so I just walked.

Fairly often, the problem lies with the outliers; my former employer did their weight index based only on height, weight and wrist measurement. One of my coworkers was 5'10" and 285lbs, but ran and powerlifted in his spare time. Every year to keep his health insurance discount, he had to go get a full and proper body fat measurement (initially at his own expense, and they'd eventually reimburse him) to show that he wasn't morbidly obese at around 12% body fat. Any sensible person could tell from the 6-pack abs and the fact that he could do the Incredible Hulk "flex hard and pop seams" trick in Dickies work shirts.

If your provider and phone are fully compatible with Google Voice, it's a great advantage. My cell number is routed entirely through GV, and I can block people quite easily from the phone or from the computer.

Let me suggest something that sometimes helps me; you know the feeling of jelly legs after a hard run or bike ride? Find an interval exercise that leaves your whole body feeling that way, then go sit in a warm bath. Once your body and your conscious mind are too exhausted to interfere, you never know what the Spirit might be waiting to tell you. If nothing else, you'll burn a lot of stress, and enough calories that you can pig out on something that makes you feel better with zero guilt. :)

I started to say something about getting an inflatable companion, but you people would probably take it wrong. You would think that it would be included in the standard meetinghouse design. Certainly a couple of Sheffield stands outside (much better for the bike, and cheaper than those awful ladder-style racks) would be better for the folks cleaning the carpet than hauling bikes inside. I'd like to see something like this rolling in on Sunday morning: A lot of our members live close enough to do it without even being in very good shape, too.

Should I wear the black suit and be mistaken for a missionary, or the gray one and be mistaken for Pee Wee Herman? Is it just me, or is it a bit odd that the LDS Church is so well known for missionaries on bicycles, but I still haven't seen a meetinghouse with a bike rack?