tesuji

I'm with you on this.. When I has testimony the Church was true there was no way I couldnt act on it without knowing what I was doing would have been wrong.   In that case me refusing to be baptised would have been rejecting the Gospel.
My husband is a non member,  he likes the lifestyle of the Church,  has members who are friends, feeds the Missionaries,  we have family home evening etc.. But there is just certain things he just doesn't get.. I'm going to do his work or the kids can do us both, i see no reason if I uphold my Covenants why we won't be together.   We think of time as a straight, measurable line, but that's not how Heavenly Father sees it.

I've often wondered what "having a chance and rejecting" the gospel means. 
Clearly, if LDS missionaries knock on your door, you answer and say no you're not interested, I wouldn't consider that an opportunity.  I would expect an element of the Holy Ghost/Spirit of Christ strongly testifying of truth is an element that needs to be present before it would be considered an official chance.  Also if we consider that forgiveness is an eternal part of the plan, then I would expect that one could be forgiven of not accepting the gospel and be given more than a single chance.

First, for the living, one point of doing proxy ordinances is to obey the Lord.  Whether your father accepts the ordinances will not alter whether you have obeyed.  Another reason (I think) is to enable the dead to choose (you cannot choose to accept an ordinance that was never done).  Whether your father accepts the ordinances will not alter whether you have helped to give him a choice.
Second, we mortals cannot judge what constitutes someone's "chance" in mortality.  I expect we often think we can, and we often think it seems obvious, but I am not convinced it is so obvious as we think.
So, I think you should not give up on your father in life, and I think after he's gone, perhaps when the Spirit tells you or confirms it's right, you should do his work - to be obedient, to give him a choice, to show faith in the Savior's ability to change hearts even after death, and just in case your father's "chance" didn't end in mortality after all.

Your question is very much like the rich young man that approached Jesus in that you are thinking in and expecting specifics.  There are three pillars to living in a “kingdom” and the “law” is only one pillar.  The 3 pillars are the laws, the covenants and the ordinances.  The manner that we are educated in and obtain these 3 pillars of the Celestial Kingdom is through attendance at and worship at the temple for all that is provided and done there.  These things are deliberately taught by vague principles and those that have appetites for the logical, intellectual specifics will never be satisfied or find conclusive answer but rather will constantly be challenged to understand more.  Specifics are obtained line upon line upon line and precept upon precept upon precept.  
 
The Traveler

From D&C 76, I would say the law is being valiant in the testimony of Jesus, receiving the gospel of Christ having received the testimony of Jesus, and not denying (in other words, fully receiving) the Holy Spirit.


 
“Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle [law] of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.” 2 Corinthians 3:3

 
Where salvation is about becoming like Christ through His merits, we become the celestial law in this fashion, just as He is the law.

This is funny because my wife and I have both noticed this before at church from the opposite sex. She is sitting right next to me now as I type. I asked her, why do you think this is? Her comment was "I think we have all been so trained to not give off the appearance of flirting, that people take it to the extreme and don't know how to simply behave like normal adults".  

People then mistakenly take "normal" conversation as perceived flirting. Bummer 

Must we really have snarky replies to someone who is asking questions?

I think recent prophets have suggested 30 minutes a day, although lately I've been lazy and just listen to the audio version on LDS.org, one chapter a day.
 I think if you stop and ponder what is really being sad, then the Scriptures aren't boring. Pray to have the Spirit with you and they will not be boring.
Section 1 in the Doctrine and Covenants, for example - you could give a whole talk on just about every single verse in there. Another example: I took a semester class on just Isaiah at BYU. It was fascinating.
 It might help you to also read books and commentaries. I like the Institute manuals, which are free on LDS.org. There are many other good books also. If you want to see how much depth there can be in the Scriptures, check out the books  and lectures by Hugh Nibley, for example.
It also helps to ask yourself questions about what you read, and to liken the Scriptures unto yourself.

I'm sad that you feel ugly and unloved. Is that how your husband sees you? As a man, I have to think "shame on him."
I think a husband should always make his wife feel attractive, cherished and loved. After so many years together I would expect he would be way past superficial physical appearance. Once you know a person, beauty and attraction are mostly about what's inside. 
I'm not going to try to analyze your marriage from a few posts by you, and I'm not a counselor anyway. But it sounds like marriage counseling might help you guys figure out how to be happier. Best wishes.

I think recent prophets have suggested 30 minutes a day, although lately I've been lazy and just listen to the audio version on LDS.org, one chapter a day.
 I think if you stop and ponder what is really being sad, then the Scriptures aren't boring. Pray to have the Spirit with you and they will not be boring.
Section 1 in the Doctrine and Covenants, for example - you could give a whole talk on just about every single verse in there. Another example: I took a semester class on just Isaiah at BYU. It was fascinating.
 It might help you to also read books and commentaries. I like the Institute manuals, which are free on LDS.org. There are many other good books also. If you want to see how much depth there can be in the Scriptures, check out the books  and lectures by Hugh Nibley, for example.
It also helps to ask yourself questions about what you read, and to liken the Scriptures unto yourself.

Ok.. Some interesting points, thanks for the replies guys..
1, I am taking the advice and taking the rains in the Gp classes,  we are doing charity this week, I come up with questions about philanthropy, what it means in the Bible to have a pure heart and if a pure heart is applicable only to LDS/ Christians. If advertising your humanitarian work is following not letting your right hand know what your left is doing. How can people focus on spiritual matters if their basic needs arnt already met and if using the power of decernment is judging others.  This is making the class much more interesting ? 
 
I understand totally what Gator saying however I don't agree! I came to ask about this book in a faith promoting capacity,  If I wasn't bothered about what I was looking at I wouldnt have asked.  fair play if you can be that impartial though,  I'm not sure I could 

I read 5 chapters a day of the scriptures of a morning.    Im currently reading the Book of Mormon institute manual and i do two chapters a week,  i like answering the questions and stuff.  Other then that i read all my stuff for Sunday. 

Well bolded is problem number 1 and problem number 2.
As a man thinkth so is he. So much of life is about self-confidence.  No one likes to be around a party-poper who is always saying, I'm too fat, I'm too old, I'm too ugly, etc. etc. etc. Old and ugly?? if you're still working, you're not that old, what will you be like when you're 80 and have very wrinkly skin. If you don't like the way you look do something about it. And while yes when you get older it is harder to change your body. However, most people who exercise over the long-term (10+ years) don't really care so much about how they look from working out but about how they feel from exercising and eating right. Exercising puts endorphins into the body, makes you look and feel younger, and help your overall well-being. It's amazing what exercising some self-control to take control of a situation can do for you. Taking charge and doing something meaningful to make you look better will naturally make you look better-not because you've actually physically changed, but because you are doing something about what you don't like and taking charge-which will make you feel better inside and that good feeling will radiate out of your body and you will start to look better.
As for the first bolded item-that's the other half of your problem.  You are practically divorced because you don't make the time to actually be married. Unless you are in a situation where you must work, why are you working?
God set up the family and the main family unit (i.e. man and woman) for the man to be the provider (i.e. make money) and for the woman to be the nurturer (i.e. take care of hearth and home). This is the natural order.  There are so many things that a woman can do to contribute to society without the need to work a 9-5 job.  My goodness, the world needs more women to step up and be volunteers for their communities, churches, schools, etc. 
We have society that encourages women to work in the "glorious" rat-race and denigrates women who don't, so both spouses end up working full-time jobs, their schedules don't overlap, they are both exhausted from work, they eat out a bunch (b/c no one wants to cook a healthy meal) and put on more and more weight. etc. etc. etc.  It is such a ludicrous situation that people have bought into this absolute myth that for a woman to have worth they must "break the glass-ceiling".
When it's all said in done, they end up gaining the world, but losing what is most important-family.
You don't need to be an old codger to recognize the root of the problems in your marriage.

I don't see Pokemon as connected in any way with the spirit realm. it's pure imagination from the heads of Japanese animators.
Harry Potter, OK, that is talking about magic. However I read it as pure fantasy also. HP doesn't bear any resemblance to what little I know about actual Satanism and witchcraft.
I'm a person who enjoys fantasy, and even more so science fiction. I love Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, Magic: The Gathering card game (although I don't play Black, creeps me out). Etc. So that's where I'm coming from.
If someone feels bad about getting into fantasy, then that's their right. I myself don't think there's some kind of slippery slope, from Pokemon into Satanism. I think for the most part, most fantasy is on a second, different slope, of harmless imagination.

You have to remember the church is still relatively young. The church passed 1 million members in only 1947. Until recently it was hard to find good stuff that was pro-Mormon that was not published by the church. (Partly because of Brodie's abuse of the church opening it's archives to her, the church became guarded about that afterwards.)
This is happily changing now with new Mormon scholarship being produced, and a more open attitude by the church.
I rarely see things about Mormonism that I consider objective or neutral.  However, Wikipedia is actually pretty accurate from what I've seen, and seems pretty neutral to me.
Bushman's book RSR is honest and he tries to be objective. Even though he is a believing member, he was also a first rate professor of history at Columbia U. I trust this book.
There is plenty of stuff on the anti-Mormon side. Some is not overly anti-Mormon, but they rely on anti-Mormon sources too much, such as the American Crucifixion book.  The author of that book naïvely tried to get info from all sides, but he ended up serving a drink mixed with anti-Mormon sewage. It's important to consider all sides but not all sources are of equal value or trustworthiness.
Most of the overtly anti-Mormon stuff is not worth the paper it's printed on, as far as getting to an objective and honest understanding of the facts.
Brody's book is well-written and is the most popular biography "out in the world", but it is full of very questionable statements and the author was antagonistic toward the church. She had an agenda. For a scholarly book it is not very forthcoming about the sources for the statements it makes. Overall, it amounts to an anti-Mormon book, not because the author is overtly anti-Mormon, but because the author is not being honest and distorts or even apparently invents many things.
Some non-Mormons honestly try to explain Mormonism but they get it wrong, because it's so different in many ways. You see this in the newspapers a lot.

Yeah I understand they think they are doing what is best but all it does is facilitate this atmosphere where you feel you can't ask questions which is why I come on line so often.  I find it quite sad that I have no one i can talk about spiritual matters with in the flesh.. In my old Church, debate was encouraged to strengthen ones faith.  Still I go to Church to worship God. I can study at home.  

Yes, it is one of the most worthwhile books I've read about Mormons, outside church publications.
I hesitate to recommend it for new members, as I have said above. But it's worth owning and reading, for Mormons who want depth beyond the usual Sunday School level of history. It's the kind of book that's worth re-reading over the years.

RSR is a great book, Bushman is a believer and participated in the writing of the essays that the church released regarding priesthood for blacks and polygamy 

"I have never wandered even for a few months from church activity. I have held many positions in our basically lay-run church from scoutmaster to bishop, stake president, and patriarch."
Mormon Scholars Testify:  Richard Lyman Bushman

I actually made a list of big topics diverging LDS beliefs from generic Christianity--
Metaphysics of who God is.   But the Love of God and roles of creator, Christ the Savior, etc are pretty in common.  
Metaphysics of who we are.  But the need of God's Love, saving, repentance, etc are pretty in common.
Continuing revelation / open cannon.  But the sacredness of the Bible is pretty in common.  
Eternal families.  
 
I had thought about putting "ordinances" or "priesthood" on the list, and it would be so if this was comparing vs generic Evangelical beliefs, but less so when with Catholics (though who is a priest, the nature of priesthood, and the ordinances do greatly differ).  Similarly, considering the wide variety of "how is a person saved" beliefs in mainstream Christendom, I wasn't wanting to put that on the list... but also because when more deeply examined, I find these beliefs are much less different than what they appear on the surface.    
 

I found that differences between Mormons and other Christian denominations all stem from teachings that were restored, e.g. Godhead, Pre-Mortal Existence, Eternal Families, Post-Mortal life... basically when you're looking at the Primary drawing of the Plan of Happiness it's all the circles before Mortal Existence and all the circles after Spirit World.
So, let's take "being saved" for example.  The rest of Christendom have the Spirit World as the final destination - Paradise or Prison.  So, if you think about it, we are actually the same in the belief that FAITH in Christ (accepting Christ as our Savior - proof of which is righteous living) is the only requirement for Paradise.  Anything we do beyond that - marriage, temple ordinances, etc. are extra stuff.
So, I find, that in order to bridge the gap in understanding, we, as Mormons, have to see the gospel from the prism of "which teachings were restored in the latter-days?" and bear that in mind, whereas the non-Mormons have to see the gospel from the prism of "how does it affect my understanding of the gospel if these restored teachings are true".
Make sense?

I recently had a Christian ask me what the deal was with Muslims and Jews. It reminded me of a conversation I had with an imam once. He asked why we (Evangelicals) seemed to favor Jews over Muslims, since Muslims consider Christ a true prophet, and Jews say he was false (based on the Talmud)? My answer came down to the reality that once the sonship and deity of Christ are denied, the other nuances do not matter much.
Anatess2 is spot on, in suggesting that it is the LDS prophetic revelations the contain the major gaps in our faiths. The insight is helpful to an extent. It certainly points to wear our common beliefs will lie--from the point of creation to the point of the 2nd coming.  I would add that our holiness codes are quite similar--especially concerning sexual mores, substance abuse, modesty, etc.

No questions thanks.. I have no doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet and also a man with flaws.   I thought this might strengthen my testimony,  i borrowed the Church history Dvd out the library,  and it good (I always end up crying watching Church dvds) but looking for something a bit more in depth due to what I've read before.

I love the book RSR, but I don't think of it as a book for brand new members.
The church is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet. However, sometimes new members have their faith shaken when the learn that the church and its prophets aren't perfect. Only Jesus was perfect. But he uses us imperfect people to do his work. And he uses the church to teach us to become more perfect.
Also, some new members have trouble accepting Joseph Smith's polygamy, because it is so different from their own cultural background.
Polygamy is in the Bible; for example Abraham did it. Joseph Smith did polygamy because God commanded him to. It's an example to us of submitting to God even when he asks us to do something we don't understand at the time.
Joesph Smith was amazing. I love to read his words. It's clear to me that he was a prophet, and I feel the Holy Spirit telling me this when I read Joseph's words.
I recommend the RSR book whenever you feel ready. But you might want to read the church books such as Truth Restored first.  The church institute manuals are also great for getting more knowledge. And carefully read the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants, to see what a prophet Joseph was. To get a strong testimony of that first.
A final note: The RSR book was written by a historian. He is trying to tell the facts. It is not necessarily trying to build your faith. So be aware of the tone and the purpose of the book when you read it.

Some more good info on this topic:
Question: What was the Lamanite curse?
http://en.fairmormon.org/Book_of_Mormon/Lamanites/Curse/What_was_it
Race on the Priesthood
https://www.lds.org/topics/race-and-the-priesthood