Quin

Yeah here same sex marriage is legal everywhere, for those who don't know. Also Canada is far less religious then the US.
While belief in God isn't going down, the belief in religion is (23% is none).
I think my father's belief is pretty common- he believes in God but thinks church is corrupt and a waste of time.
It would seem we don't want religion effecting anything since there are so many here-and so many nones.
I for one am glad for that, if I choose a religion-free life, I don't want it in my government regardless, we are a multi cultural nation, why should one rule over all the others?! Why should any rule at all?
They shouldn't.

You aren't going to settle this dispute here, if for no other reason than Folk Prophet and I both exist here.
 
I wouldn't consider a one time instance of masturbation to be an offense worth confessing to the bishop any more than I would consider a one time viewing of pornography.  Yes, there will be some that think that any instance of viewing pornography ought to be confessed, but I disagree.  When I read Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts, (the Church's pamphlet on pornography addiction), I cam away with the impression that habitual and/or compulsive behavior needs to be confessed to the bishop.  Infrequent, non-habitual behavior I don't think is something worth taking to a formal priesthood confession.
 
At what point does a pattern of behavior constitute habitual or compulsive?  I don't know.  So I guess my advice isn't all that helpful.  But there it is anyway.

I HATE this law.
Hate, hate, hate, despise, loathe, abhor.
Kids films mom being beaten up by dad.
Consent state? Dad walks free, kid gets in legal trouble.
Ditto for recording your rapist, mugger, murderer, etc.
It's a STUPID, reactionary law that only protects evil.
Because laws are already on the books (expectation of privacy, libel, etc.) that protect us from being recorded without our permission & those recordings being disseminated.
Q

I was just scanning through this thread and got knocked off my chair by this statement. 1) No. No it isn't. Tourette's and other neurological disorders are NOT caused by unclean spirits or any other kind of possession, demon or otherwise. They're physiological disorders. Just like any other physiological disorder.
2) To continue to pick on Tourette's for a moment... There is NOTHING inherently wrong, evil, or unclean with Tourette's! Ya wanna start talking badly about psychopathy, then I might be tempted to get on board for even a moment, but Tourette's??? It's just a series of tics, that while distracting and frustrating at times for sure, but in no way predicts anything about the person themselves who has it. No more than a sprained ankle predicts a limp. People with Tourette's can be phenomenally holy, totally normal like most of us, or complete jerks. Their disorder has nothing to do with their personality, who they are, or how they think or choose to act.
Q

I think I mentioned before that in my area most families can't afford for both parents to work because the cost of childcare is too high.
A side effect of this (and other things, like mediocre schools) is that our area has a HUGE homeschooling community.
There are half a dozen school districts in the city, and homeschoolers outnumber all but the biggest 2.
Over 25,000 registered homeschool kids in my county.
So if ya wanna get into Princeton... No need to go all Breaking Bad
'Cause Ivy leagues are recruiting HARD from the HS community.
'Cause HS'ers have the time to do all the snazzy well rounded stuff (to the point that a lot of parents are complaining that homeschool,kids have unfair advantage in academic competitions... From spelling bees to internships), and since most states are dual enrollment* (38 last I looked)
Most HS'd college "freshmen" already have 2 years of community college under their belts at 17.
So the Ivies are getting YOUNG, advanced, highly motivated kids they can either use their CC credits as a highschool transcript, or just funnel them through 2 years, diploma, and off to grad school (depends on the school whether they want more grads or less out in the world. Different schools, different policies).
* Dual Enrollment has different names in different states -RunningStart, BrightFutures, etc.- but it boils down to a Federal option that allows highschool students to take community college courses for free (tuition waved, still need to buy or rent textbooks & materials) until they graduate from highschool or age 18/19. Away-school kids do these courses on top of their other coursework, although some kids get 1-2 periods a day off / use them as elective credits. Most come school kids doing dual enrollment attend full time.
I'm sure, sooner or later, more parents are going to catch on that they can pull their kid from highschool & send them to college for free instead, but until then... It's a meth-free alternative that can help getcha into a competitive program.
Q

ROFL....
I think it's a flatline curve:
55 out of a possible 150
Unbelievably privileged; check it hourly.
Hmmm... That or I'm more privileged than you. Nyah Nyah boo boo.
Q
ETA... I do love though, as the resident white-chick in a lot of situations when people tell me that I don't know what it's like to be a minority. While I spent a few years in the States as a child, most of my life has been spent overseas. Asia, Middle East, Near East. Hunny. Not only do I know "what it's like", I grew up in places where I wasn't even allowed to ride on public transportation, shop in many stores/cafés/etc... And of many of those that did allow me/my race into... There was a seperate entrance, limited selection, etc. BUT WAIT... In many places pipe bombs, beatings, lynchings, etc. still happened regularly and THAT is why you don't go out on your own / learn to run fast. So your Granny and I might have a nosh & chat, but you and I are from different planets as far as "have dealt with racism in my life".

In our area (and more and more others, I'm finding on oarenting forums over the last 10 years)...
Most families with a stay at home parent are NOT staying home as a luxury.
They're staying home because they have to.
Because childcare costs more than what they would make.
It's $1600 per month per child for McChildcare in our area.
"Better" childcare costs $2,000+ per month per child.
Even 1 kid means blue collar workers can't afford to work.
But 2 or 3?
The only people who can afford that are the 6 figure professionals.
Q

Bwaaahahahaha!
My ex used to make an 8,000 calorie shake for weightlifting.
It made my stomach lurch... But here's some/most of the ingredients:
Ice cream
Peanut butter
Whey
Black strap molasses
Ensure
Avocado
Macadamia nuts
Chocolate or Strawberry Syrup
Frozen fruit
He'd drink it while eating tuna out of the can.
I dared him once to just add the tuna to the blender.
Bad choice.
He bought it was a brilliant idea, and I spent the next 5 years scrubbing out a fishy blender.
Gag.
Q

When I was homeless I lived on 99cent whoppers.
(Dates me. When was the last time they had that special on?)
It was the healthiest thing I could get:
High calorie, long burning fat, protein, glucose for my brain (bun = uber processed awesomeness), and even vegetables.
Plus salt.
I may have been on a losing streak, but I wasn't a fool.
When suddenly homeless... I moved to Florida.
Weather that won't kill you to sleep out in, bathing & laundry in the Gulf, and the ERs were free for medical treatment.
I'm in Chicago, Montreal, Boston... Looking at the homeless population and shudder.
Head SOUTH darnit. South!
But it does mean needing to keep your salt levels up.
Whenever I'm seriously broke (or trying to save money) I go back to that.
Sadly, while $1 a day could feed me back when (admit, I usually only ate every couple days)...
I have to spend $14 a week on food these days.
McDonalds hamburgers just don't stack up to the Whopper ... But they're still a buck.
Q

When I was homeless I lived on 99cent whoppers.
(Dates me. When was the last time they had that special on?)
It was the healthiest thing I could get:
High calorie, long burning fat, protein, glucose for my brain (bun = uber processed awesomeness), and even vegetables.
Plus salt.
I may have been on a losing streak, but I wasn't a fool.
When suddenly homeless... I moved to Florida.
Weather that won't kill you to sleep out in, bathing & laundry in the Gulf, and the ERs were free for medical treatment.
I'm in Chicago, Montreal, Boston... Looking at the homeless population and shudder.
Head SOUTH darnit. South!
But it does mean needing to keep your salt levels up.
Whenever I'm seriously broke (or trying to save money) I go back to that.
Sadly, while $1 a day could feed me back when (admit, I usually only ate every couple days)...
I have to spend $14 a week on food these days.
McDonalds hamburgers just don't stack up to the Whopper ... But they're still a buck.
Q

In our area (and more and more others, I'm finding on oarenting forums over the last 10 years)...
Most families with a stay at home parent are NOT staying home as a luxury.
They're staying home because they have to.
Because childcare costs more than what they would make.
It's $1600 per month per child for McChildcare in our area.
"Better" childcare costs $2,000+ per month per child.
Even 1 kid means blue collar workers can't afford to work.
But 2 or 3?
The only people who can afford that are the 6 figure professionals.
Q

Every once in awhile, Mirkwood just comes along and makes my day.
"...take out the pos that has your child."
& done.
Q

We still have that!
It just all depends on where you live.
Q

Since you are asking from a position of fear... lets talk about what will not happen.
 
You will not be kicked out of the church.
You will not be laughed at.
You will not be publicly humiliated.
You will not be told you are a horrible person.
 
While we can not tell you details of what will happen, in general your bishop will listen and learn about what you are struggling with. Then he will recommend certain actions and changes for you to make to help you overcome your issues.  Then he will follow up to offer encouragement and support as needed.

In your scenario it would likely be a self defense issue, so it would not be murder to take out the pos that has your child.

4 loosely related thoughts:
The older I get, the less I know.
Someday, said M2B will be sitting listening to another boyo, feeling the same way your were listening to him.
Can't change the world, and always going to offend someone.
Sounds like his heart is in the right place. His head will catch up.
Q

When I, as a non-member, hear a member say, "The LDS Church is true," I understand that to mean mine is not--at least not in fullness.  Where some of my fellow non-LDS may be mislead is in failing to understand that a non-restored church is not necessarily a condemned one.  In traditional Christian teaching there is heaven and hell, right and wrong, Christian and not Christian.  So, if a church says they are the true one, we immediately assume they mean all others are "false."  If so, the others are condemend.
 
Today, I do not hear all of that.  It's more like when I say I am a "Spirit-filled" Christian, or I believe in the "full gospel."  I do not deny that other Christians walk with the Spirit.  I do not mean that others are lacking a sufficient gospel.  Instead, I believe that my church allows a free reign of the Holy Spirit that most others would attempt to restrict.  I mean that we not only preach salvation, we pray for the sick, and may even cast out a demon, if need be.
 
Initially others were offended by our claims to the "full gospel" and to being "Spirit-filled."  They thought we were saying they did not have the Spirit at all, and that their gospel was empty.  Today most Christians acknowledge our orthodoxy, and even admit that the manifestations of God we see are authentic.
 
Personally, I would not bother with hesitating to make the statement.  Further, I argue against saying "I believe."  It implies an uncertainty, or at least an unwillingness to defend the statement.  If it's your faith, proclaim it confidently.  If someone wants to take offense, but asks you how you could say such a thing, then tell them.  Be kind but confident, and let agency do the rest.

Is there anything you've done from childhood onward, that you still believe in, that you'd be willing to 180 on for a month... As an experiment?
Such as
- wearing underwear
- using silverware
- not picking your nose in public
- shaving your legs
- ?
I'm picking morally ambivalent habits, here.
But, even so, you will find it EXTREMELY WEIRD to go commando, eat without implements, talk to the mailman while picking your nose, or whatever action you choose. You'll also find yourself forgetting to do so. Changing something you don't even think about anymore, that's pure habit... Generally takes about 7 years.
But... Imagine if it IS a moral imperative you've practiced from childhood onward?
Somehting you associate with being a Good Man?
I'm not going to suggest you DO any of these.... But reflect on if you were asked now to
- kick puppies
- slap your wife across the face
- not allow your children to eat
- etc.
Could you do any of those things on a daily basis?
Weekly?
Monthly?
It doesn't matter hat after 20-30 years of doing X that we TELL ourselves X is no longer the right thing, Y is the right thing...
For some, X has become both habit and ingrained into their self worth.
Which generally means 7+ years to change the old way of thinking/believing ... If ever.
Q

Mine is simple.
True = Not false.
I do, however, believe in multiple truths... Including the kind of truth that becomes so personal & complete that it does not translate between one individual and the next. The multiplicity of "bests". What is true for one is not necessarilly true for all. What is best for one is not necessarilly best for all. What is best for my son may not be what is best for yours.
Which is part of what I love about this church. The catch-all is NOT "The ONE true church", but "This church is true".
Q

The rules are more to protect the adult in question than the child.
We have a multifaceted problem in this country,
- the legal system doesn't protect people (kids or adults) / there is almost no recourse...
(Granted, rapes are notoriously difficult to prosecute
...RAINNs stats are 97% failure rate, but that's part of the problem)
- most people have given up on reporting them
(RAINN stats are 67% unreported, but I've read as high as 87% / 1:8)
- vigilante justice is all but extinct
(not so long ago even copping a feel meant risking life & limb to daddies and brothers)
= All of which equals parents are scared. There's nothing they can do, except, as you say...
Drill their kids. Make it their responsibility to protect themselves.
And because child & teen judgement is soooooooooo lacking (for good reason, they're kids), that means that adults dealing with normal kids and scared parents need to protect themselves.
__________
Now... I'm a big bad combat trained ex-US Marine...
And I've been raped.
I look at my little ones?
No way.
No way can I depend on them to avoid what I couldn't.
I not only don't expect them to be able to fight off an assault,
I don't expect them to report, either.
Quite simply, because most don't.
And if they were sexually assaulted?
I'd love to believe that my kids would be the exception to the rule,
That mine would come straight to me...
But while that would be the best of a bad situation...
I can't count on it.
So, while I find the 2:1 & other rules sad...
I think it's for the opposite reason.
Because we've lost faith in our justice system in this area...
And instead depend on little kids & teenager's judgement & ability.
World gone mad.
Q
http://www.rainn.org/statistics

The rules are more to protect the adult in question than the child.
We have a multifaceted problem in this country,
- the legal system doesn't protect people (kids or adults) / there is almost no recourse...
(Granted, rapes are notoriously difficult to prosecute
...RAINNs stats are 97% failure rate, but that's part of the problem)
- most people have given up on reporting them
(RAINN stats are 67% unreported, but I've read as high as 87% / 1:8)
- vigilante justice is all but extinct
(not so long ago even copping a feel meant risking life & limb to daddies and brothers)
= All of which equals parents are scared. There's nothing they can do, except, as you say...
Drill their kids. Make it their responsibility to protect themselves.
And because child & teen judgement is soooooooooo lacking (for good reason, they're kids), that means that adults dealing with normal kids and scared parents need to protect themselves.
__________
Now... I'm a big bad combat trained ex-US Marine...
And I've been raped.
I look at my little ones?
No way.
No way can I depend on them to avoid what I couldn't.
I not only don't expect them to be able to fight off an assault,
I don't expect them to report, either.
Quite simply, because most don't.
And if they were sexually assaulted?
I'd love to believe that my kids would be the exception to the rule,
That mine would come straight to me...
But while that would be the best of a bad situation...
I can't count on it.
So, while I find the 2:1 & other rules sad...
I think it's for the opposite reason.
Because we've lost faith in our justice system in this area...
And instead depend on little kids & teenager's judgement & ability.
World gone mad.
Q
http://www.rainn.org/statistics

Is there anything you've done from childhood onward, that you still believe in, that you'd be willing to 180 on for a month... As an experiment?
Such as
- wearing underwear
- using silverware
- not picking your nose in public
- shaving your legs
- ?
I'm picking morally ambivalent habits, here.
But, even so, you will find it EXTREMELY WEIRD to go commando, eat without implements, talk to the mailman while picking your nose, or whatever action you choose. You'll also find yourself forgetting to do so. Changing something you don't even think about anymore, that's pure habit... Generally takes about 7 years.
But... Imagine if it IS a moral imperative you've practiced from childhood onward?
Somehting you associate with being a Good Man?
I'm not going to suggest you DO any of these.... But reflect on if you were asked now to
- kick puppies
- slap your wife across the face
- not allow your children to eat
- etc.
Could you do any of those things on a daily basis?
Weekly?
Monthly?
It doesn't matter hat after 20-30 years of doing X that we TELL ourselves X is no longer the right thing, Y is the right thing...
For some, X has become both habit and ingrained into their self worth.
Which generally means 7+ years to change the old way of thinking/believing ... If ever.
Q

Is there anything you've done from childhood onward, that you still believe in, that you'd be willing to 180 on for a month... As an experiment?
Such as
- wearing underwear
- using silverware
- not picking your nose in public
- shaving your legs
- ?
I'm picking morally ambivalent habits, here.
But, even so, you will find it EXTREMELY WEIRD to go commando, eat without implements, talk to the mailman while picking your nose, or whatever action you choose. You'll also find yourself forgetting to do so. Changing something you don't even think about anymore, that's pure habit... Generally takes about 7 years.
But... Imagine if it IS a moral imperative you've practiced from childhood onward?
Somehting you associate with being a Good Man?
I'm not going to suggest you DO any of these.... But reflect on if you were asked now to
- kick puppies
- slap your wife across the face
- not allow your children to eat
- etc.
Could you do any of those things on a daily basis?
Weekly?
Monthly?
It doesn't matter hat after 20-30 years of doing X that we TELL ourselves X is no longer the right thing, Y is the right thing...
For some, X has become both habit and ingrained into their self worth.
Which generally means 7+ years to change the old way of thinking/believing ... If ever.
Q

"Let's eat Gramma!"
"Let's eat, Gramma!"
Commas save lives.
Q

Is there anything you've done from childhood onward, that you still believe in, that you'd be willing to 180 on for a month... As an experiment?
Such as
- wearing underwear
- using silverware
- not picking your nose in public
- shaving your legs
- ?
I'm picking morally ambivalent habits, here.
But, even so, you will find it EXTREMELY WEIRD to go commando, eat without implements, talk to the mailman while picking your nose, or whatever action you choose. You'll also find yourself forgetting to do so. Changing something you don't even think about anymore, that's pure habit... Generally takes about 7 years.
But... Imagine if it IS a moral imperative you've practiced from childhood onward?
Somehting you associate with being a Good Man?
I'm not going to suggest you DO any of these.... But reflect on if you were asked now to
- kick puppies
- slap your wife across the face
- not allow your children to eat
- etc.
Could you do any of those things on a daily basis?
Weekly?
Monthly?
It doesn't matter hat after 20-30 years of doing X that we TELL ourselves X is no longer the right thing, Y is the right thing...
For some, X has become both habit and ingrained into their self worth.
Which generally means 7+ years to change the old way of thinking/believing ... If ever.
Q