priesthoodpower

Thank you for sharing and being open about it. Im assuming you just needed a place to let it off your chest because you already know what is the right thing to do. This is a trial for you and an opportunity to come closer to your wife. Hold No secrets...Let her know! It might hit her like a ton of bricks but its an opportunity for her to show compassion for you in your trial as long as you are showing Christ like humility in wanting to over come it. I have a friend and every time im around him and his family I sense humility in his countenance, I feel the spirit when Im around him. I notice that his wife almost babies him as if he has some sort of disability which he obviously does not have being a former athlete and successful business man. I have really come to admire their relationship. He told me yesterday that he attends the LDS ARP classes (addiction recovery), my observations were correct and confirmed to me by the spirit. He has a trial, wife is supporting him, their bond grows stronger. Be humble my friend, your post sounds like you are fantasizing which is dangerous.

Its called shunning, and yes its one step short of literally chasing someone away. Anyone who doesnt understand that is in denial, In fact dont some LDS suicides occur not because of literal chasing away but because of shunning? I am guilty of doing it to others in church as well as others doing it to me. We as LDS are not taught to behave like that but its a natural habit in any group or culture of humans. I am a socially awkward individual, I have felt shunned in every place from LDS wards to various work places and even academic institutions.

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One thing I learned in the business world...its just business. My father-in-law is a cop, if some random police officer did something that allowed me to sue the police department my FIL would not be offended, my wife would not be mad that Im suing her dads company. I would not be mad at my FIL just because he's associated with the department. Think of your wifes relationship with your mom as an entity all on its own. Hate the relationship that is the entity between your mom and wife but you can still love your wife and mom individually, you dont have to take sides. My mom was a sheltered child growing up, she is socially awkward and childishly passive-aggressive toward my wife. After the first year of marriage my wife could not take the abuse and finally declared that she hates my mom. Luckily we moved to another state and we did not have to see my mom anymore. Thats how its been the past 15 yrs. I learned to love both of them individually but understood that the entity that is the relationship was rotten. Sucks but life is life.

I like to use a lot of sports analogies. Its easy for a team to win any 1st place Championship title with players that work their butts off in the off-season on their own time to get physically bigger/faster/stronger, continue working hard in the regular season as well as listen and execute the coaches game plan exactly. A lot of players on a championship level team will look at themselves and say "What can I do to help this team out? What do I need to improve on to make my teammates better?" Jesus Christ gave us the game plan, Bishop is like a captain of the team that just repeats the game plan already recorded in scripture from Jesus and his Prophets. If you are a team player you could easily find the same answers the Bishop has by searching the scriptures and receiving inspiration from the Holy Ghost, make yourself bigger/faster/stronger spiritually. The benefit in having a Bishop is that he holds the keys of the priesthood to lead us, he is a symbol of our connection to Jesus and God. In the end I feel God will judge you according to your trials, he understands that you may have possibly been abused by terrible parents, bullied at school, have a learning disorder, physical handicap, have had bad friends, bad teachers and yes even a bad bishop.

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In another thread about perfection several posters in here mention the fact that no matter how much you fail, pick your self up and drag your self back to church, even if it takes a thousand times. Elder Holland said perfection is not earned it is a gift....after all that we can do. According to OP she says her husband is doing all he can do to stay active in the church, she loves him and forgave him. At his age of mid 40s I suppose he has failed a little over 600 times, 1000 would take him to about 70. I think he is on track to perfection and he is a lucky guy to have a wife that loves and supports him. PS - kind of a random thought. Because of my low libido I thought about things I could do to spice it up and get that energy back, got the doc to prescribe me viagra, went to the pharmacy and found out it was about $120 a pill, said "no thank you". The following week in the paper read an article about my friends 55yr old uncle (LDS but divorced) who works in a women prison. He is being sued by a female inmate that said he impregnated her. His defense? The viagra made me do it.

Id hate to break it to you MadMaddy but we can learn a lot from patterns of other people. Which is the precise reason why I mentioned in my previous post of why I was afraid of the future if my sexual urge was not controlled and porn habits eliminated. Like alcohol and tabacco being a gateway into harder drugs, porn is a gateway into sicker things. My father born-n-raised LDS is now 67yr old and also has a brain of a 18yr old kid. Early on in his marriage before I was born he cheated on my mom but they worked through it. They had a lot of ups and downs through their marriage, his addiction to porn got so bad about 10 yrs ago that he would watch it right in the living room with my mom sitting at the dinner table. He even tried to get my mom to indulge in it with him, My mom tried to stick it out with him but realized that he was too deep in it, she gave him a proposition "Me or porn", my father looked her in the eyes and said PORN! She divorced him and moved out. My mother says that he is sick with some kind of mental illness and possibly possessed by spirits. I cant tell you when your husbands libido will slow down because everyone is different. I can only speak for my self and say I had an ideal mormon upbringing, no sexual or physical abuse with me or my siblings. No alcohol or drugs anywhere around me, my libido went down around 38-39yr of age. One thing to look out for is where are you husbands priorities. Does he still value his member ship in the church, does he wear his garments with pride and purpose. Does he tell you that he doesnt like his addiction, is he continually repentant and sorry for his actions even though it keeps re-occuring, does he teach your kids to be morally clean and live all the commandments? All these are good signs.

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Thanks for sharing, I really think that in order to tackle these issues we cant skip around the bush, therapy and counseling is the least effective way of tackling issues and is designed to do one thing...make money for a company. OP: please share this video with your husband, I marked it to start at the 10:57 mark, basically Mr McAfee is saying that the reason porn is free on the internet is because the porn websites are installing virus's to gather information about you, bank records, passwords etc..This will make any man think twice about watching porn on their phones. https://youtu.be/G5S0bK8mqAM?t=10m57s

Thanks so much Im learning a lot on this subject and putting together a powerpoint to teach my kids during FHE.

When teenage boys hit puberty at 12-15yrs old they become a slave to siemen. Ejaculation of the siemen is what the body wants to do naturally. How do I know? because as a young 13yr old I started to have wet dreams, my innocent little mind could not comprehend the act of sex nor have I ever seen pornography but in the middle of my dreams I would dream of being aroused by images of women and ejaculate naturally in my bed. Over those first few months I began to figure things out and instead of having to wait till sleep time to enjoy that sensation, I could look at magazines of clothed women and masterbate to it. I was born and raised LDS and I knew looking at dirty magazines (this was back in the 90s) was wrong. However I could not resist and I did get my hands on some porn magazines in order to satisfy my urge to ejaculate, every single time after the act I would feel guilt and shame and knew I was doing something wrong. This porn problem stayed with me, off and on, while on my mission and well into my marriage at age 25, all through out my thirties I battled with this addiction, all along while repenting and pleading with the Lord to rid me of this addiction. When I was about 33yrs old I was talking to a co-worker, he was 59yrs old at the time and married, he told me that his urge to have sex was just as high as when he was 20yrs old, his wife trys hard as possible to be intimate with him but she cant keep up. His story along with the many storys in the news of old men preying sexually on younger kids got me worried and discouraged about life, thinking that this problem of "satisfying the urge" will be with me the rest of my life. At age 38 something weird happened, my sex drive started going down, the "urge" went away and I had no desire or even temptation to look at porn. Biologically I heard that around age 40 some men start to have lower testosterone and so I attributed it to a biological change in my body, which I also believe is an answer to my prayers. So low was my sex drive that my wife asked me whats going on, I no longer pursued her as frequently in the bed, I told her Im an old man now and no longer need sex as often, lol. I went to the doctor and they said my testosterone levels are healthy and fine but I just suffer from low libido. It doesnt matter, im super happy, no more porn for like two years now, I feel clean in my head with that filth no longer occupying space. I share my story because women do not understand men, my wife still doesnt understand the way men look at women at the gym or out in the streets, even after hours and hours of talks about the sexual nature of men, and what Im doing to protect her and my daughters. I share this for the OP in hopes that you continue to plead with the Lord to help your husband be repentant and use the atonement of Christ in his life everyday until he can rid himself of the addiction, it will come eventually just hang in there.

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The OP still has a desire to listen to the spirit despite his mortal weaknesses. I tip my hat to you sir and encourage you to continue to seek the words of our prophets, if you do not feel comfortable attending church every week the internet is flooding with LDS content for you to maintain your beliefs in the Gospel and feel his love.

Congrats and goodluck on your journey, looks like you are doing awesome. My wife struggled in her 30s losing weight until about 2yrs ago (she is now 40) when she joined a gym and got a personal trainer which was against my wishes because it cost $100 an hour. This was the extra kick and motivation to help her stick to a strict workout routine and diet, she did low carb diet at first and lost 40 lbs, now she is trying the keto diet because it eliminates carbs completely. It really is a lifestyle change, she says that she doesnt even crave sweets, in fact her cravings are for carrots, fruits and peanuts because that is a no-no in the keto diet. She looks really good but the key is to be disciplined and eventually turn it into your lifestyle. Earlier this year she went on a 1 week vacation trip and cheated on her diet and gained 10lbs really easy. My mom also went on the keto diet a year ago because she has been type2 diabetic the past 20 years, she has eliminated her insulin shots while on this diet.

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Most men in my area are just really layed back we are far from the city so its a real country feel. I dress for function rather then style although coming from an athletic background in high school and college I do love my brand name athletic wear. Unlike my wife and daughters, you would never find me staring more then 2 seconds in the mirror, im pretty simple and easy maintenance, however! as of two months ago I have grown out a full beard for the first time ever in my life- I absolutely love my new look and cant stop staring at myself in the reflection of store windows and car mirrors etc..wife loves it too. My side of the medicine cabinet went from having just a stick of deodorant and a razor (nope not even shave cream because my dad was old school and a penny pincher so I followed his example and just shaved with water) to now several types of beard oils and lotions, beard comb and brush, clippers, minoxidil 5% to encourage hair growth, various vitamins like biotin, hyaluronic acid and collagen for healthy skin/hair/nails. Ill also admit that I do spend a fair amount of time searching utube for "beard tutorials" and how well other men wear their beards.

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