sxfritz

My wife just did a Tea Party with our granddaughter, her friend and friend's mother. They had a blast. It was held at a victorian home. They were dressed in their finest when they left the house but when they got there they went into a dress up room and tried on a dozen different hats, gloves, costume jewelry. The hostess held a lesson on proper manner and custom of when to wear the hat and when to wear the gloves, and how to use the napkin and how to wash one's hands with a cloth at the table. I was lucky enough to see this part because my wife forgot her camera and I ran it over and took some pictures. I missed the rest of the party, which I understand was fantastic. Lots of finger sandwiches and little cakes.
 
It was a valuable lesson on the customs of a golden era. The word "Tea" should not offensive to us. Anyone offended by such simply doesn't understand and frankly would be the one most needing the lesson.

My "small" city (< 100,000) has Mexican cartels pushing heroin by the pound. No doubt these bad guys are not carrying slingshots.

I thought Natasha Romanoff was the lady villain on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.  :)

I thought Natasha Romanoff was the lady villain on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.  :)

I have little interest in social interaction with other men. I care nothing for sports. I have nothing against hunting or fishing but don't "enjoy" it enough to do it socially. It is like skiing, I don't enjoy it enough to pay money to do it; not that it isn't fun and something different to do. 
 
Let him explore his own hobbies. Mine are solitary. I enjoy them and they give me my "me" time. 
 
I will say, when I was a volunteer Big Brother, I found my wife extremely jealous of my time. A couple of arguments about it and it made me over-sensitive about how I spend my time. It is one of those marriage lessons that come kind of hard. Now, I am older and wiser, I find I do the thing I want to do alone so long as I am sensitive to my wife's plans.
 
Examine if something similar didn't happen in your relationship. It may be he doesn't want to get burned again.

I thought Natasha Romanoff was the lady villain on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.  :)

I thought Natasha Romanoff was the lady villain on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.  :)

I thought Natasha Romanoff was the lady villain on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.  :)

I have little interest in social interaction with other men. I care nothing for sports. I have nothing against hunting or fishing but don't "enjoy" it enough to do it socially. It is like skiing, I don't enjoy it enough to pay money to do it; not that it isn't fun and something different to do. 
 
Let him explore his own hobbies. Mine are solitary. I enjoy them and they give me my "me" time. 
 
I will say, when I was a volunteer Big Brother, I found my wife extremely jealous of my time. A couple of arguments about it and it made me over-sensitive about how I spend my time. It is one of those marriage lessons that come kind of hard. Now, I am older and wiser, I find I do the thing I want to do alone so long as I am sensitive to my wife's plans.
 
Examine if something similar didn't happen in your relationship. It may be he doesn't want to get burned again.

I have little interest in social interaction with other men. I care nothing for sports. I have nothing against hunting or fishing but don't "enjoy" it enough to do it socially. It is like skiing, I don't enjoy it enough to pay money to do it; not that it isn't fun and something different to do. 
 
Let him explore his own hobbies. Mine are solitary. I enjoy them and they give me my "me" time. 
 
I will say, when I was a volunteer Big Brother, I found my wife extremely jealous of my time. A couple of arguments about it and it made me over-sensitive about how I spend my time. It is one of those marriage lessons that come kind of hard. Now, I am older and wiser, I find I do the thing I want to do alone so long as I am sensitive to my wife's plans.
 
Examine if something similar didn't happen in your relationship. It may be he doesn't want to get burned again.

My wife just did a Tea Party with our granddaughter, her friend and friend's mother. They had a blast. It was held at a victorian home. They were dressed in their finest when they left the house but when they got there they went into a dress up room and tried on a dozen different hats, gloves, costume jewelry. The hostess held a lesson on proper manner and custom of when to wear the hat and when to wear the gloves, and how to use the napkin and how to wash one's hands with a cloth at the table. I was lucky enough to see this part because my wife forgot her camera and I ran it over and took some pictures. I missed the rest of the party, which I understand was fantastic. Lots of finger sandwiches and little cakes.
 
It was a valuable lesson on the customs of a golden era. The word "Tea" should not offensive to us. Anyone offended by such simply doesn't understand and frankly would be the one most needing the lesson.

Okay, I'm watching the Mormonchallenges.org videos. Very interesting and so relevant to my own questions. I can't stop watching. However, I'm a grad student and am in the middle of midterms--NOT helpful to be introduced to these videos right now! Thanks a lot, yjacket!

Interesting, estradling75. Thanks for reframing the Book of Abraham issue. And again, I come back to the "ye shall know them by their fruits," and feel that these are small things compared to the greater picture of what our Heavenly Father wants from us.

A little bit of a story with a happy ending to share--
 
For me, the most difficult part about being in an interfaith marriage is not the non-member husband, but handling the evangelical mother-in-law that comes with him.  When hubby and I started dating, MIL was a huge fan of me… except for my “Mormon problem”.  Needless to say religion has been a rocky subject.
 
To learn about Mormonism, MIL signed up for a class on the subject at her church, entitled “Mormonism and the Evil Cults” (or something like that).  She got a lot of bad information, and doesn’t really listen to what I say because she honestly thinks I’m brainwashed and hell-bound (roll eyes). Though, to be fair to her, I haven’t been perfect on the issue (like not inviting her far enough in advance to baby girl’s blessing). 
 
Anyway, the purpose of this post is to celebrate: last night we chatted and had a great discussion sharing testimonies.  I learned a lot more about her and feel that she learned a lot more about me.  Not only did she not stone me for sharing me testimony, she liked it!  I’m still kind of in “wow” shock….
 
 
Just wanted to share good news with you all J.

Have faith that your decisions will be met with positive responses once the blessings in your life are evident. If they are truly Atheist or agnostic, you likely will never here the end of your pursuit toward spirituality. Best is you never be "in their face" with what you have learned until such time as they begin to ask. At that time, you become the missionary. Until til, you can best demonstrate your growth by action.
 
I am the only member of my family. My family are devote Catholic and very concerned about my choice to join the Church. However, my parents went to the temple to wait in the lobby when my wife and I were sealed. They may not have liked my choice, by they did support it. In the long term, your family may come around.
 
Generally, people get blasted just before baptism and then a couple of weeks after. It is hard. The after baptism is even harder because it works to sow doubt when you are learning deeper principles. 
 
It sounds like you are really close to your family - I take it you still live at home even. Just be sensitive to their beliefs and don't push yours. Don't you let the decision be a wedge between you. Your family should continue to be paramount in your life.
 
Be happy. You are making a good decision. It may pain you that they are not joining you on that day, but you will have additional family now to support you.  

Hi everyone,
I am a born and raised Catholic who has spent most of my life questioning my faith. Now I am a mother of two, and have moved to a town with a small but active LDS community, some of whom I've become friends with. Two things speak to me: How refreshing it is to see the way they live their faith every moment of every day, and that there are some doctrinal issues that I've alway held and am surprised to see held by the LDS faith (preexistence of the soul, a letting go of the Trinity doctrine, a focus on good works rather than the sola scriptura model, etc). These things all speak to me, and I have been fascinated with the LDS faith but have not yet stepped up to asking my friends if I can join them sometime. I have asked them a lot of questions, and I've attended social events, but I still haven't actually been to an LDS Sunday service.
 
I'm not sure where to go from here. Joining the church seems to be a HUGE committment as far as tithing (my husband is agnostic and completely supportive of whereever I land religious-wise), volunteer work, children and adult faith formation classes, etc. I just don't know if I'm ready to invest, and I'm still half-heartedly attending my Catholic church. I'm feeling so torn, so lonely, so lost in my search for the truth. Any advice?

To address what is your primary concern; there is nothing wrong with sleeping in different rooms.
 
Your bigger concern should be sleep apnea.
 
My wife has sleep apnea. It is common with overweight people, but my wife is petite and thin; very tiny actually, which made her horrendous snoring even more concerning.
Turns out, many years later - meaning late in life, she was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea.  She faithfully wears a device (not quite the awful mask). There is NO snoring. She gets a much better sleep and has far more energy.
 
Here's the kicker ALL should be concerned about: Because of her apnea, she aspirates at night. That is the pulling of fluid into the lungs. She has a strict regiment about not eating after 6:00, elevating the bed, apnea treatment, etc.  She went most of her life thinking she had asthma but in fact was getting recurring infections and destroying her lungs. It took the doctors at National Jewish to get her the proper treatment. Problem is, it is too late. She is so prone to infection that a flu could kill her (twice, she has been severely ill). 
 
So, I would encourage more professional treatment for the snoring. For the 50% of the people who have apnea and won't wear a mask, enjoy your children, you may not see grandchildren. 
 
Sorry to leave this on a downer. People joke about snoring. Fact is, there may be an issue that can be corrected. 

Thanks for this information. This gives me a lot to think about. I'm sorry your wife has had such a hard time with this- I've never heard of aspirating like that at night- quite scary! I'm glad she's being taken care of.
 
 Honestly, yes, more than once I have recorded it and played it back. He half-listens, then shrugs it off and apologizes. I wish it was easier to wake him up in the night. Not enough punches and kicks will get him to even budge. If I get lucky, I can get the right spot to tickle him and he'll flinch. Otherwise, I have to get my voice loud enough to get him to hear me. He's a very deep sleeper. Lately our son has been sleeping with us, so I'm careful not to be too loud. I'm not sure how he's sleeping with the snoring, but he's doing better in our bed than his crib as of late (I've always been pretty obsessed about sleep training, and here I am, giving in to letting him into our bed at night when he cries- can't win every battle). 
I will bring up sleep apnea, however, and let him know I'm completely serious about getting checked for that. Maybe I'll toss in a little guilt about being worried when it comes to having a father for our son. Just a little . Thanks, everyone. Because I also told him I'm dead serious about having my own room someday. I just don't know if that will impact our son at all, know what I mean? Anyway. 

First, I think that was a terrible object lesson. There is no point in invoking that deep an emotion. Were the children present? If someone did that to a child, I would consider it abuse.
 
I think the sealing is about the blessings of the Celestial kingdom and not about whether or not we are able to associate with our families. For that reason, your friend may rightly believe he can be associated with his family. He simply hasn't learned the greater lesson of exaltation.
 
Someone in early learning doesn't need to learn those deeper gospel principles. I wouldn't force the point. Line upon line. There are other things to learn.

Rather than just herbals teas and an emphasis on teas you could provide a variety of drinks and the name merely becomes the descriptor of a Victorian era social activity. (well maybe not Just a Victorian era social party, but the name would be quiet quaint)

You could try cross cultural drinks as well, like saft (a scandinavian drink made by mixing fruit juice with water)

Why do many Mormons don't know church history that well?  For starters, there's no Church History course taught in Sunday School.  Even the D&C courses aren't history courses: they're lessons on doctrine and bringing people to Christ, with the occasional historical backdrop.  And seeing as Mormons are people, and most people don't go researching history in their spare time, most Mormons don't research church history.
 
In my opinion, many Mormons (particularly BIC) do get a overly-glossy outlook on figures in church history.  This happens anytime people don't study history (like people over idolizing Thomas Jefferson).  Then when they discover that history is a mess, and Mr-Awesome messed up at points, they freak out and dig their heads in the sand.  Again, this isn't just a church thing-- like try telling someone that the author of the Constitution owned slaves, some of which were his illegitimate children!
 
As to the masons specifically, I'm with you, thinking that JS was inspired by the things around him.  And I'm ok with that (Netflix inspires me all the time).  My thoughts are that God can use any item/person/routine as a vessel for His message: wether that be a burning bush, talking donkey, doves, masons, or Netflix.   However, other Mormons are of different opinions (which is their right).  
 
One thing which does irk me (and many Mormons) about the mason thing is when some anti-Mormon comes up to me and says "Jo Smith wasn't a prophet- he just stole it all from the masons!"  I highly disagree with such sediments and get sick of having them screamed at me.

I just got 'Joseph's Temples: The Dynamic Relationship between Freemasonry and Mormonism.'  I have read about Freemasonry ritual and see the connections, so I thought this would be a good read since it brings Mormonism and Freemasonry together.
 
My question is this:  I don't care if the Freemason ritual was adapted by Joseph Smith. He was a man of his time and he used what he knew. No problem. I don't think any less of him. However, it seems that when you mention this connection around born Mormons, they get a  little freaked out.
 
Why is this? There's nothing really hidden about this - you can easily find books on the topic, just as I did. Could they have gone their whole lives thinking Smith made this stuff from whole cloth? Is it shocking? I've read that some Mormons get weirded out after they go to the temple the first time, because they aren't used to ritual (compared to Catholics or Orthodox Jews, for example) and they don't know how to deal with it. Is an inability to deal with where temple ritual probably originated part of the same problem? 
 
I find it all very interesting and love learning about Mormon history, but sometimes it seems that the western Mormons aren't told a lot about history, then when they learn it, they lose their testimony or become less active because they think they were lied to.
 
I'm not knocking anyone; I'm just curious about something I've noticed.

It is the culture, not doctrine or policy that is the problem. Not a lot that can be done about that other than by individuals, and maybe bishops. Well, the YW lessons as I remember them could use a little more reality.. acknowledging that not everyone will get married, not everyone will have children, and that there is much, much more to womanhood than either of those roles contain. The lessons themselves ought to say as much because leaders might choose to shrink from talking about those subjects if left to their own discretion alone. And I really wish the holidays of Mother's and Father's day might not be part of sacrament meeting. If the opening prayer mentions it, or if the Bishopric says something brief at the beginning or end of the meeting is one thing. But making it the subject of the whole meeting, and of the second and third block meetings as well is quite inappropriate. I have heard the same opinion from people other than those simply struggling with childlessness. Sisters who have lost their mothers, or who have wayward children, and single sisters especially, I have read that most of them would rather it be done away with altogether. 

I really believe it has to do with the strain it puts on the companions and mission office. Serving is difficult without the strain of caring for someone in the event the person has issues. A young adult can't be expected to know how to recognize issues and seek treatment for a companion. It is also disruptive to the "flow" of missionary placement. 
 
My son was excluded from serving due to physical disability and it was crushing to him emotionally. The fact is, there is do dishonor in being excused. If you are in charge of teaching youth, the concept of honorably being excused should be introduced early. Our son wasn't told he wouldn't be allowed until he was about ready to submit his papers, yet in hindsight, he could have been told years earlier.

That is sad. Some people are just extreme and no amount of training is going to get it out of them. I see extremist in forums such as this and there doesn't appear to be any way to persuade them to moderation - to do so would only prove you to be unworthy, or some such thing. 
 
As stated above, the bishop wouldn't get involved. He may be able to "teach" and help her spiritually, but he has no matter in the decision to baptize. She should request an interview with the mission president. It is not uncommon to have that interview. It is common when an investigator is overcoming a condition of baptism such as smoking and the mission president can make a decision as to how long to wait until baptism. 
 
Good luck.