Bad Karma

Wow, just wow.... What did I just read? I've got nothing.

You lost me at "Mormonism". It's a word that I find distasteful.

I've been following this thread for a while now, and all I can say is WOW! Man, I've got nothing. Sometimes, people are just so ugly selfish, that all they can do is be ugly to those that love them. In those events, the best you can do is keep breathing. I just keep thinking "Dear God, what did I just read"?

I am glad you have found success in dealing with anxiety, that is truly a blessing. Hey man, thank you for sharing your troubles with addiction and anxiety, that is no easy task at all.

Hmm, why do you think that is, OP? Are you not attracted to your wife anymore? Does she with hold sex from you, or does not take care of herself this making you more interested in porn as a means of release? I'd have to think that a porn addiction is secondary to another very serious problem.

Woah, did you just call him an idiot? That's pretty disrespectful. Hmm......

Brother, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I offer you these thoughts and suggestions. 1. Keep the faith, when in church, also take the sacrament on her behalf. 2. Pray for your wife, always. You are her husband, you have every bit of authority to pray for her and to ask Heavenly Father to intercede, under the proviso her free agency is intact. That does not mean Heavenly Father doesn't bring to mind thoughts and memories to show a wayward spouse the gravity of what is happening, ultimately, it is up to her. 3. Avoid a "last straw" or any ultimatums. If YOU quit, then you both have quit, then hope is truly lost. 4. Be patient, be kind, as husbands, we have only righteous dominion over our wives and children. Righteous requires the difficult, and that is to not engage when met with conflict from her, never react, only respond. Respond with love, patience and kindness, even though it hurts like a bullet to the gut. We're men, we are the priesthood holders, the burden is ours to bear. 5. Endure to the very end, and then endure some more. That's the true nature of love. 6. Absolutely do not bad mouth her belief, you will be the very best teacher to her by being loving, patient and kind. YOU keep going to church, doing your thing as it were, let her see God's love inside of you. She is a daughter of God, she has eyes, she can see if she wants to. 7. Do not get sucked into a fight, you may want to very much, you might be as mad as a hornet, but talk about your point only, talk, not yell. 8. It's only too late if you give up. Make no mistake here, the war in your marriage is very spiritual, the deceiver is working very hard on destroying your family, once any of you are isolated, the greater the deceiver's chances are of succeeding in taking with him a soul. Not just hers, yours, but your kids, and maybe even further down in generations. Every event has ripples in time. Example, say good morning to someone, the effect travels, but say something hateful to someone, that effect also travels. Hang on, hold fast, remember, this is YOUR family, your battle is now in the spiritual realm.

I brush and I brush and I brush some more.... What's a guy to do?

Wow, what did I just read? I've got nothing. Happy home wrecking OP!

My hot buttons are "alot" and "I could care less". "Your" used in error in substitution of "You are" in which case "You're" is appropriate. 1. There is no such thing as an "alot". It's "a lot". 2. "I could care less" means you DO care and are capable of caring less, conversely, the intent is " I couldn't care less", which means I am incapable of caring about XYZ. I've never understood "Babbling brook" (Which is correct), I've always felt "Bubbling brook" was accurate, it makes a clearly bubbling sound. These are a few things that make my teeth itch.

The above is both he long and short of it. As with sexual transgression, these are all matters that are dealt with the same way, there is a repentance process that does not involve hate, but a healing from it the sin and reclamation of the transgressor to the church, a fullness of restoration, the return of the Holy Spirit (Which flees in the face of sin), and the return to standing within the fold. That sense of sameness between one member to another (Perfecting the saints). It's that person's road to return to a state that of which the church tirelessly strives to bring to equilibrium to every soul. Hatred for a person has no place in our church, we hate the sin, not the sinner. We're all sinners, our church caters to it's sinners (US!), the priority of the church in loving God is to afford every soul the ability and opportunity to seek God's grace, to perfect the saints (us again) that we may be spared the sorrows of sin. Who was it that said that "I love it when the church stinks of alcohol and cigarettes, it means the right people are here"? Are you broken? Are you at the end of your rope? Tormented? Prone to vice? Crying woefully because the answers are beyond your reach? Terribly alone and crushed? Welcome to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we've been waiting for you.

Oh wow! I was like Noooo he didn't just go there, but YUP, you sure did! Holy smokes! I totally read that in the voice of Larry The Cable Guy.

Sheesh! Can't take you anywhere nice!

I'm not trying to pawn you off, but a matter of this significance would be best brought up to your bishop, and he has a whole team of ecclesiastical leadership to help him best counsel you, his counselors, the Stake President and his counselors, and so on. I assure you that you're not the first member with this issue. I get that you're feeling bad about it, that amongst so many things are sins, I think most of us are in tune with our spirit to know sin makes us feel bad and makes us want to find help in dealing with it. That whole "it hurts when I stick my hand over a lit candle" thing. Do you have a chance if you repent? If my repent you mean just that and all that goes a long with repentance, of course, you have more than a chance, you have God's GRACE, grace trumps. I think you're in great hands with God in repentance. Psst. I don't hate you. Welcome here

Some food for thought A wise man said "Don't just stand there, do something"! A wiser man said "Don't just do something STAND THERE"! About love: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” The Priesthood: The Responsibility to represent God. -David O' McKay. Love your wife (Ensign 01/2014) The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts. -Proverbs 17: 3

It's funny that you should say this, when I was around 16, I had met an LDS girl I was pretty infatuated with. No, she was not a missionary. I was not a member either, and at the time, had no interest in being one. Oh boy, did I like her. She kept trying to bring me to church, she wanted me to meet her Bishop (as if I were going to meet her parents), she did everything a member girl could do to make me suitable for dating in a very proper LDS way. At that time in my life, I thought the idea of being a Mormon was crazy, I spurred her attempts to reform me, ultimately, I am sure I disappointed her greatly, she liked me as well. Funny, I've been a convert for more than 25 years now. However, no, I didn't join the church over a girl. Never the less, I guess she could see more in me than I could. She had imaginings of me as a missionary, returning to her after two years, I however was headed to the the Army, and at 17, that was where I ended up. I never heard from her again, I imagine she found herself that dashing young RM and made him hers. I still ended up a Mormon. Irony, eh?

I don't make it a secret that I am a Mormon. I don't "do missionary work" at work, but if I am asked about the church I'll answer, if I am asked for a book of Mormon, I'll provide them one. If they really seem interested, I'll invite them to church, if they do go to church with us, I'll invite them to dinner.

Kami, I really caution you against further contemplation in any other manner than she is teaching you more about the faith, should you continue to maintain this thought process while you are an investigator, the lack of possibility for a relationship between the two of you could very well wedge you against further progression in exploring our faith, in essence, the end result is counter to what you even went to church to begin with. Do not look to her for her devotion to God, look to God and grow your own devotion. In the fullness of time, heavenly father will introduce you to many great possibilities in a mate, but this moment is not about you finding a mate, it is about your immortal soul and feeding it the nourishment that it so very much needs. Love is grand, everyone pretty much seeks to be loved by another, get to know God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, you shall be loved and you shall love. As earlier stated, if you still are so inclined, contact her when she returns home from her mission, until then, spend that time progressing in your walk with Christ. A little something about Mormons, we really like connecting with those of like faith, it's pretty important to us. In time, you'll agree! Welcome here, keep going to church and keep the forum posted as to how things are going for you.

Great response, I must mirror that, non-members are most welcome to roam the temple grounds. Blossom76, you'll also find members who will stop by to walk the temple grounds when they are not doing a session. If I am near the temple and I do not have my temple clothing with me and not wearing a suit, I will stop anyway to walk the temple grounds, to reflect, pray, both really. It's always helpful to visit the temple in some manner. There are many places to go to feel the presence of the spirit, the temple IMHO is probably the very best place. I shan't spoil it for you, visit for yourself, in fact, the temple grounds might be a nice place to take a brown bagged lunch with you, the peace there is very remarkable.

I understand and agree. But yes, I follow what your saying.

There's LOTS of good reasons to hold a cancellation up. For one thing, if both parties would grow up and stop acting like jezebels, that would be awesome! Maybe the husband does not WANT a cancelation of the sealing, vows and all, ya know? It's too darned easy to get a divorce, it's even too darn easy to get a sealing cancelation. IF sealing cancelations are going to be so willy nilly easy, why even bother to get sealed? I think it should be HARDER to get cancelations, you KNEW what you were getting yourself into prior, you knew the blessings for obedience and the consequences for disobedience, and you want a mulligan? I think not. All this said, I am not God, I'd be lousy at it. I am also NOT church leadership for the very same reason.

Actually, I think mormons are mean to you because you act like a jerk. You have an US -versus- YOU attitude, so, that is what you've got, US - v- YOU. You attack our concept of charity while you grab your entitlement mentality behind you. Yeah, you say you're not a Mormon, we get that, very clearly. NO, we EXPECT YOU TO SERVE THE LORD in some capacity. Here's some food. Also, here's a list of names of people we'd like you to pray for, or we'd like you to clean the church, or we'd like you to give food to the poor in the Bishop's store house. EVERYONE can do SOMETHING. Let your gladness for the blessings you have received motivate you to serve the lord. It's SIMPLE. What's a load horsepucky, you came here to fight, and fighting with us is what you've been doing. You call yourself a CHRISTIAN? Oh, MY FOOT! We're reinforcing your worst fears? Oh boy, seriously? You don't even TRY to hide that you're anti-LDS. As of RIGHT NOW, what is it that you want? I love the Bible, however, I THINK :"The problem with Christianity is that it's full of Christians". I don't see too many Christ like Christians, I see a lot of people claim, Christian, then do what you're doing. You say you see evil? I say you see reaction to your negative attitude. We're Mormons, not sissies, when you belt us across the face, expect one right back. I see lots of Christians act like thugs, why do Christians do evil things? . You want to fight? Cool, go stand in a mirror and yell at yourself.

Was a really good point, but then you went on about a white man, then you lost me. I'm at a loss as to why the man being WHITE had anything to do with it. Merry Christmas, never the less.

Hername, A few things to consider, he has not trespassed against you for you to need to forgive him, your abets of forgiveness is not your place. His BACKGROUND speaks volumes, this IS something to consider when reflecting on the potential for him to behave in a manner along the lines of the very thing you're worried about. Also, consider the potential risk for pressure into pre-marrital sex. It smacks of DANGER. Of course, he could be a great guy with a checkered past, he may just be so in love with you that he wants to just come clean with you on everything. Don't over think this. POWER IN NO. There is power in saying no. "No, I will not marry you", "No, I do not feel good about this". Or simply "No"! (To everything) Ahh, but you love him, that's marvelous. Nothing wrong with that. But I would give this all much thought. We're LDS, we do not give much to long dating periods or engagements, we don't pick up a mate and then browse the market. We're short term dating or engagement types and long haul marriage types. If you consider THAt, it's really healthy. This is something to consider, it's not the rule, but it's kind of how things roll. Prayers is good! Take this whole matter to Heavenly Father, give it to him, wait for the answer.