Budget

Backroads... then my story will just double as my answer to the OP question; things I learned at work! LOL. You just NEVER KNOW what your co-workers are going through in their real lives outside of the office.

Instead of relax/enjoy yourself I saw this example as a thrifty, smart and professional person who maybe doesn't have as much money as people think she does - but she still carries herself well and takes care of herself so know one knows. I had a similar yet different thing happen at work. I was getting a new vehicle after driving our minivan and being 'that minivan mom' for 13 years. The van was in great shape for being 13 years old as I take very good care of my vehicles. Still, a dealer isn't going to give you much for it so I decided instead I wanted to give it to someone. I wanted to anonymously 'gift' it to someone who truly needed it. But I didn't know anyone in that position at that time. I called on a contact I knew who knew 'everyone' and asked her if she knew anyone in need of a free minivan? She said she'd get back to me. The very next day she said she did. I told her I didn't want to know who it was, but I was signing the title over and she could give it to them. The day after, she brought me $100 in cash and told me the person who got my van insisted on giving me something for it and this is all she had at the time. Without using names she told the person who got our minivan was a single Mom going through a divorce. She has 3 kids, two of whom are still in elementary school. Her truck is being repossessed and every day she drove it to work wondering if it would still be in the parking lot when she left for the day. She cried when she found out someone was going to GIVE her a free vehicle. That was a Friday afternoon. Monday morning I went to work. I had an office inside City Hall. The City Administrator came into my office and sat down in the chair in front of my desk. She told me she wanted to thank me for what I did with my minivan. I was confused how she knew but realized she was very good friends with the woman I put in charge of finding someone so I'm sure they talked about it at church that weekend when they saw each other. Then she started to tear up and repeated again; "No. REALLY. Thank You." ??? She started to cry and said, "yes... it was me who needed the van. I figured I had to tell you because you will be seeing it parked int he parking lot every day and I knew you would wonder." Yes. One of the highest paid positions in the city, who was professional and dressed to kill every day in her suits, was in dire straights financially, going through a horrible divorce, needed numerous big repairs on a house falling apart and having her vehicle repossessed. You just NEVER KNOW what your co-workers are going through in their real lives outside of the office.

Assuming many of you have already seen these, or get the LDS newsletter in your email (which was featured in there this week) - but sometimes you just need to read (or watch) something light hearted and sweet to make you smile in the midst of heavy topics or dreary days. I was watching these yesterday but thought I'd post it here in case some of you need a happy break from the day - to listen to children telling their version of a bible story. LOL http://lds.net/blog/faith/primary-children-bible-videos/

NeedleinA - Love the photo of the lawn. I'm always in awe of people that can put something like that together. The vision and imagination to get just the right flowers and bushes that will go well together, be the right heights, color combination as well as how to perfectly place the rock!

LOL NeedleinA.... I tend to give REALLY long answers so I tried really hard to keep it short. Perhaps I'll explain a little more... I don't go to theaters anymore - even rated PG has too much uncomfortable and gratuitous 'stuff' I don't care to see, especially with a room full of strangers. I don't have a Netflix account, don't even know what VUDU is - I assume like HULU but I don't have any accounts like that anywhere anyway. Never occurred to me to invite a handicapped person with so we can use their parking pass. Reminds me of the issue amusement parks were having where they would bring "Grandma" in a wheel chair just so they could line skip and get all 15 family members on the rides first without waiting. People were faking being in wheelchairs and 'renting' out neighbors, etc. to use as their free pass for their group. Apparently this was a 'thing' so Disney had to change their rules to stop it as it was so bad. Nope. Never have used the men's bathroom when the females side was too long. And would not appreciate others doing so although I am female and it's more likely for women to have to use men's than the other way around as our lines are always long. I can't and don't lie. I just can't. So if I'm home and my husband answered I would take it... if I don't know the number at all I won't answer and will wait to see what the voicemail says - usually it's a marketing or sales hang up. Walking into other theaters and seeing 2-3 movies when you've just paid for one... Never occurred to me... people do this? It's a 'thing'? I would not only feel guilty doing so but be afraid I'd get caught doing it. How mortifying. LOL. Seat saving at a NO SEAT SAVING event: I get very frustrated and yes, angry when I see people doing this. EVERYONE needs/wants seats and you aren't any more important or 'needy' than anyone else. If you get your seat, have to leave to use the rest room, etc. then of course it's fine to 'save' your seat that you already came early enough to claim... but I seethed inside when I have seen a woman save 2 ROWS of seats before at a graduation and some of the 'group' she saved for never even showed up.

Also doing above ground gardens and planter gardens on the deck while we live in this particular house. We don't have even a 3 foot square plot anywhere that isn't on a steep incline and only 1/2 inch soil covering hard rock and boulders. BUT sadly, last year (for the first year ever) I saw my garden dying off and didn't understand why... watched huge, gorgeous potato and zucchini and tomato plants die to nothing, etc. THIS year I figured it out - after watching it do it again - but this year I studied and paid close attention. Black spot disease - spreading from the 5 acres of woods surrounding the property. Watched it from the bushes/trees, drifted to the roses then the peas, beans, zucchini, potatoes and over to each of the tomato plants... like a slow wave. I replanted and treated (again; more of a science research project in finding which product actually worked). Lost all the potatoes but the replanted peas, beans, zucchini are doing well and the tomato plants and pepper plants seem to have been caught and trimmed and treated in time to get us somewhat of a harvest.

I don't really understand why you were ignoring the texts... I guess my thought was to text and say "The item is sold and gone. Thanks for your interest." ?

Interesting. I don't think I've ever done any of them. I have saved a seat before - but not at a 'no seat saving' event. Honestly, there were a couple that have never even occurred to me. "People do that?" is what I thought when I read it. LOL.

That is an excellent idea! By helping others you help yourself too!

This seems to be indicative of our society in general today. (I'm glad to read the school wasn't going to punish and fire him because of the one person who was offended or bothered. THAT was refreshing for once.)

SALT LAKE CITY — A Brigham Young University physiology professor will no longer be offering students the chance to drink what they think is real urine as part of a class demonstration. Assistant professor Jason HansenBrigham Young University Assistant professor Jason Hansen has been told to just explain the lesson next time rather than offering a mixture of water with vinegar and food coloring and calling it urine, Dixon Woodbury, chair of BYU's department of physiology and developmental biology, said Wednesday in a statement. Hansen will not be disciplined. Hansen said in a statement that he didn't mean to offend anyone when he recently offered a student the chance to drink urine in class to learn about the principles of hydration and dehydration. The woman didn't know it was fake urine. The second-year professor says he has done the same exercise in the past with no complaints. "This is usually a fun way to teach this concept to the class," Hansen said in an email. This year, however, an anonymous student reached out to Salt Lake City TV station Fox 13 to complain the lesson went too far. No other students or parents have complained, Woodbury said. The concept of the demonstration has been used for years in physiology courses to teach about critical aspects of kidney function and urine formation, Woodbury said. "The apparent requirement of drinking someone else's urine is inappropriate, but it was neither required nor actually urine, so was considered a learning opportunity," Woodbury said in an emailed statement ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Not even getting into the topic behind the news story... one of the first things I thought and wondered about was this; "This year, however, an anonymous student reached out to Salt Lake City TV station Fox 13 to complain the lesson went too far." So the one student who questioned this and wanted to complain... didn't go to the teacher. Didn't go to the school. Went directly to a TV station before anyone else.

I keep lye on hand for making homemade soap and for making pretzels. 1/2 cup lye in the drain, a bit of water, let it set a few minutes (about 5-10 depending on how slow or plugged it might be) and wash it down. Drains clear and clean.

Yep - I saw he was a contract employee. I figured noting the date and details someplace would help you remember facts later "if" it comes up. I figured you would have a file of some sort, even if it's just to track hours; since he's a contract employee... and that would be a good place to jot down the date and details just in case it happens again.

Carborendum - Your description of the phone call could be drinking - if he had been drinking before he called you and it was just hitting his system during your call but it also sounds like it could have been the side effect of a medication, a medical issue or an insulin reaction. If this is the first time it's ever happened that you've heard/seen him this way I'd honestly let it go but jot it down on paper to stick in his employment file just in case it happens again in the future, at least you'll have documentation.

Traveler - while I didn't ask my daughter where MY ex-ho errr axe-hoe was (LOL) I did just have a 'traveler' moment and thought of you. My DD just got home from college for the summer and is catching up on dirty laundry. She looked over to me and held up a (very gross) dirty bathroom shower mat and asked me if I could come set the right buttons for something that dirty. As I walked up to the washer and started to choose my washing choices on the panel I replied, "Yep! I want it... hot and heavy!"

Every time I see your profile image (the happy Snoopy) I am instantly reminded of being in 4th grade, when my best friend started to doodle this image and showed me how easy he was to draw. This particular dancing Snoopy became "THE NEXT BIG THING" and a small group of us girls drew it everywhere... all the time! Assisgnment papers, notes to each other, our notebooks... I can roll my eyes, smile and shake my head now at the silly and overly enthusiastic little Snoopy drawers we were for about 3-4 months. Our poor teacher! I'm sure she was sick of this little image. LOL.

It's never, ever made me feel inadequate! I have always loved these verses and as a very young newlywed, I read them and absorbed them often as something to give me strength, support and give me a goal to strive for. Later, after I quit working outside the home to raise our children full time, this verse gave me validation that being a full time wife and mother had worth. It's always been a positive verse for me.

I'm sorry for the pain you're going through and feeling. You've had some good advice and support from above - I'd also like to chime in to say I know they do all sorts of blood tests when you are pregnant and test for diseases, HIV, etc. but I'm not sure how long ago your last baby was born. I'd highly recommend going to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases - all of them - including venereal warts, HIV, etc. especially since he was with escorts.

Me too. I haven't been reading as long as you, but I just (very) recently decided I should join in and post if I was visiting the site and reading. Welcome.

YEAH! I'm glad you went ahead and just asked her straight out - even before you read my reply. Ha ha. I absolutely agree; being honest and forthright is the best policy.

Megs - I'm so very very sorry you are going through this. I read your post yesterday afternoon and I've been thinking about it so very very often since then. I don't typically post on the board - I mostly just read - but your post is really just hurting my heart and I wanted to tell you someone cares. My concern is, judging from what you wrote he is showing nothing but hatred towards you. Not one thing in your post showed the least bit of love, caring or compassion. Just reading it hurt my heart!!!! I can't imagine. And to go 2 months without a call and then have him call in the middle of the night only to curse you, and be so hateful!? My heart broke for you. In addition to the wonderful advice already given and using the support the military gives spouses, I would also like to think you should make a 'back up plan' that involves caring for yourself and your children because it sounds like he not only is going to pursue a divorce but he doesn't sound like a nice guy and it will get ugly. I'm glad you've reached out to his Dad and your Mom, and will be working with your Bishop and others... it shows you are trying. But when he comes back he's going to be dealing with some pretty heavy emotional, mental and maybe even physical issues that are even worse than before he left. ( I do under the post traumatic stress syndrome as my brother served 3 tours in Afghanistan and Iraq and had things happen that still affect him even though he's been home for a while.) It doesn't sound like he is including you or the children in his future... you should be prepared for this. I don't hear any love from him in your post at all.

I'm not endowed, so I can't go to the sealing She doesn't want me to be a bridesmaid She doesn't want to go dress shopping with me She doesn't want me to help planning any of the pre-wedding festivities She doesn't want me to plan the reception She doesn't want my help planning post-wedding stuff She doesn't really have time to talk to me about wedding stuff because she's super busy with her life So despite a bunch of understanding... I'm feeling really left out of everything. "I'm feeling really left out of everything" - that's because you ARE being left out of everything. Are you the only sister/sibling? Are there hard feelings under the surface? Did you say something to upset her when she was first engaged or not show enough excitement? If you are her only sister... I would wonder why she would not find room for you in the bridal party. Or help with literally anything at all. And 6 hours away is not very far at all to make a weekend trip to go dress shopping together or at least have you with the group she has chosen. Have you spoken to her about this and came right out and asked; "I really would love to help in some way... any way! What can I do? Where can I be of help?"