Budget

There's a huge difference between the Immigrants of the past and the Immigrants of today.  The basic difference is THE NATURE OF THE GOVERNMENT.
The Immigrants of yesteryears (before immigration was closed post WWII) came cognizant of the Constitution and WANT to be Americans because of it.  The immigrants of today (post 1968) came mostly because of the money potential and not the ideals of the Constitution.
The problem here is - like most Filipino immigrants in my family - these people do not understand the cultural impact of the Constitution.  For example - these Filipino immigrants from the Philippine Martial Law era are anti-gun because they came from a country that has made guns the symbol of war.  They do not understand the concept of the Constitutional foundation of self-determination - the power to control one's destiny.  A people imbued with inalienable rights can only keep those rights if they can defend it.  This is not something enshrined in Constitutions outside of America and therefore, immigrants who came here for any other reason other than the Constitution are more than likely not cognizant of it. 
Heck, kids born in the US are not even taught this anymore... and that is because, kids these days are raised in a predominantly progressive Government far removed from the foundations of the USA such that you currently have a culture where vilifying the Flag and the Anthem that represents the American Constitution can stand on the public square without being "egged and tomatoed".
 

In Australia the Muslims do not assimilate out of choice.   You don't go to the Bankstown area unless you are a Muslim especially if you are a woman.  Women aren't even second class humans.  I've watched how they are treated and it isn't nice. 

The U.S. government does little to nothing to vet refugees.  DHS has admitted this.  Even when "vetted" there are many who simply refuse to assimilate into the population.  Look at cities in Michigan and other towns.  The police are afraid to go there.  Look at other countries where there are no go areas for the police.  Sweden has rampant sexual assaults and from 2014 to 2015, immigrants in Germany committed 208,000 crimes, mostly fraud.  I have no problem with immigrants because my wife is one, but something more needs to be done to ensure our security. 

This.  My husband can't read minds (obviously) but he also doesn't seem to have any skills in facial hints, body language or even tone of voice or insinuation.  You literally need to tell him exactly, precisely what you want/need (and probably write it down, take a picture, explain in detail... and he'll still get it wrong or just "forget").  LOL. 
As for extra kindness for your husband OP:  it really depends on his personality and interests, his job, his schedule, his ability to handle things....  what one of our spouses would like or enjoy may not mean anything at all for yours.
Examples: 
Yesterday was about 90 degrees out.  My husband was outside mowing the lawn.  I grabbed an ice cold can of sparkling water and brought it out for him but he was mowing 'away' from me and didn't see me.  Good!  I set the can down at the top of the drive right next to his tool kit where he would see it and snuck back in the house.  Little and no big deal to me but apparently it was much appreciated on his end.  He actually brought it up at dinner last night and thanked me for doing that for him and surprising him with it.
When I make up his lunch for work the next day and have it ready in the refrigerator for him to grab at the last second.
Buying him a special treat or new 'something' when I'm out doing the shopping and I leave it where I know he will see it; but I don't tell him ahead of time.  Sometimes it's as simple as his favorite candy bar left on the coffee table in front of where he sits every evening, another time it might be a new pair of work pants or new shirt left on the bed where he'll see it when he gets home and goes in to change.
 
 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3787798/Does-hotel-clean-sheets-Investigation-reveals-New-York-establishments-don-t-wash-bedding-new-guests-arrive.html
I used to carry a water soluble UV marker and blacklight when I worked security.  Write dates on things that are supposed to be cleaned daily, and bring the safety and sanitation director through a few days later to see which ones were still fully legible even though they could easily be wiped off in one pass with a damp paper towel.

She was talking about how the wife (or how most wives would) sees it... Not how the church courts would see it.
Since the discussion is focused on the wife's response that is what the OP needs to be prepared for.
Now we can (and have) blow a lot of hot air around about not the same thing but at the end of the day the OP needs to deal with what is... and what is is that his wife is badly hurt by his actions... hurts that the time to heal and recover from can be measured in months and years... not a few days or weeks.
 
 
 

A temple recommend?
Tithing discounts?
A calling?
More speaking opportunities in sacrament meeting?
A list of widows to help?
Storehouse bacon?
 
I give up.

This.  My husband can't read minds (obviously) but he also doesn't seem to have any skills in facial hints, body language or even tone of voice or insinuation.  You literally need to tell him exactly, precisely what you want/need (and probably write it down, take a picture, explain in detail... and he'll still get it wrong or just "forget").  LOL. 
As for extra kindness for your husband OP:  it really depends on his personality and interests, his job, his schedule, his ability to handle things....  what one of our spouses would like or enjoy may not mean anything at all for yours.
Examples: 
Yesterday was about 90 degrees out.  My husband was outside mowing the lawn.  I grabbed an ice cold can of sparkling water and brought it out for him but he was mowing 'away' from me and didn't see me.  Good!  I set the can down at the top of the drive right next to his tool kit where he would see it and snuck back in the house.  Little and no big deal to me but apparently it was much appreciated on his end.  He actually brought it up at dinner last night and thanked me for doing that for him and surprising him with it.
When I make up his lunch for work the next day and have it ready in the refrigerator for him to grab at the last second.
Buying him a special treat or new 'something' when I'm out doing the shopping and I leave it where I know he will see it; but I don't tell him ahead of time.  Sometimes it's as simple as his favorite candy bar left on the coffee table in front of where he sits every evening, another time it might be a new pair of work pants or new shirt left on the bed where he'll see it when he gets home and goes in to change.
 
 

Say she does give up this man she loves.... because he is currently in a job that only makes 30K a year.
And she remarries a year from now, a guy who is making 50K at only 25/26 yrs old and has a great job so she and her parents just 'know' he's going to be continually making more.  She doesn't love him like she did her first husband (he'll always have a special place in her heart), but she knows she can stay at home with future children if she is married to this guy. He's a better catch so-to-speak.
And she starts her family with him.  And they have oh, let's just say 3 kids in the next 5 years.
He isn't as loving and faithful as her first husband was... he's fine, but work and church seem more important than spending time with her.  But she tells herself that's ok because this one makes more money so it was worth giving up a loving marriage for the security and being home with kids.
And boom.  The job market falls for his particular skill. 
He is laid off.
He struggles to find a job in his field.
They start to struggle to pay bills.
He still can't find a job in his field so after a year, in desperation, he takes a job that pays 30K.
In the meantime... that first husband (whom she loved and he loved her) has slowly but surely moved up in the ranks and is now happily remarried with two children and makes a comfortable 80K and has a job that is pretty secure.
Those tables sure flipped.
You just never know what the future holds for you.
 
 
 

Say she does give up this man she loves.... because he is currently in a job that only makes 30K a year.
And she remarries a year from now, a guy who is making 50K at only 25/26 yrs old and has a great job so she and her parents just 'know' he's going to be continually making more.  She doesn't love him like she did her first husband (he'll always have a special place in her heart), but she knows she can stay at home with future children if she is married to this guy. He's a better catch so-to-speak.
And she starts her family with him.  And they have oh, let's just say 3 kids in the next 5 years.
He isn't as loving and faithful as her first husband was... he's fine, but work and church seem more important than spending time with her.  But she tells herself that's ok because this one makes more money so it was worth giving up a loving marriage for the security and being home with kids.
And boom.  The job market falls for his particular skill. 
He is laid off.
He struggles to find a job in his field.
They start to struggle to pay bills.
He still can't find a job in his field so after a year, in desperation, he takes a job that pays 30K.
In the meantime... that first husband (whom she loved and he loved her) has slowly but surely moved up in the ranks and is now happily remarried with two children and makes a comfortable 80K and has a job that is pretty secure.
Those tables sure flipped.
You just never know what the future holds for you.
 
 
 

Say she does give up this man she loves.... because he is currently in a job that only makes 30K a year.
And she remarries a year from now, a guy who is making 50K at only 25/26 yrs old and has a great job so she and her parents just 'know' he's going to be continually making more.  She doesn't love him like she did her first husband (he'll always have a special place in her heart), but she knows she can stay at home with future children if she is married to this guy. He's a better catch so-to-speak.
And she starts her family with him.  And they have oh, let's just say 3 kids in the next 5 years.
He isn't as loving and faithful as her first husband was... he's fine, but work and church seem more important than spending time with her.  But she tells herself that's ok because this one makes more money so it was worth giving up a loving marriage for the security and being home with kids.
And boom.  The job market falls for his particular skill. 
He is laid off.
He struggles to find a job in his field.
They start to struggle to pay bills.
He still can't find a job in his field so after a year, in desperation, he takes a job that pays 30K.
In the meantime... that first husband (whom she loved and he loved her) has slowly but surely moved up in the ranks and is now happily remarried with two children and makes a comfortable 80K and has a job that is pretty secure.
Those tables sure flipped.
You just never know what the future holds for you.
 
 
 

Divorcing a husband because he can't make your temporal dreams come true... what a complete rejection of God's commandment to LOVE especially in a marriage covenant.  There is nothing - nothing in the scriptures that says unless you make X you can't enter the kingdom of heaven.
Now, word of the wise - What you make doesn't matter.  What you spend it on, does.  So anybody who says - I will not be happy with this guy until he makes X will NEVER be happy even if he makes a million dollars.  That is because - she has not learned the value of money.
Now, the good wife is the wife that says - My husband only makes X.  I can plant a garden, raise chickens, move to a 2-bedroom apartment, etcetera etcetera so we can live comfortably on an X income and I can still stay home to nurture children.  This is the wife who can be entrusted with a million dollars.
 

Exactly.  And it wasn't that long ago we had the post from the wife of a video game addict, where he refused to work because it interfered with his gaming time.  Seems a lot of these women have a serious lack of perspective.
More to the point, what trials are in the future of the ones who find a guy with enough income?  I've seen plenty of people wiped out by a single bad decision or stroke of bad luck, to the point where they went from debt free and planning an early retirement to working 2-3 jobs just to put food on the table and try to dig out from under the emergency debt.  Some never recovered.

My mouth literally fell open reading this.  It makes me so... sad, I guess.  Disappointed. And thinking how it's possible that someone who proposes to 'love' someone and even is sealed to them, could so easily divorce them just because he hasn't made the amount of money she and her parents thinks he should.  I get that she wants to stay home with future children - but there are options and ways of making things work and who knows what blessings are yet in their future?  To throw love and marriage away based on money is so so wrong.
 

My mouth literally fell open reading this.  It makes me so... sad, I guess.  Disappointed. And thinking how it's possible that someone who proposes to 'love' someone and even is sealed to them, could so easily divorce them just because he hasn't made the amount of money she and her parents thinks he should.  I get that she wants to stay home with future children - but there are options and ways of making things work and who knows what blessings are yet in their future?  To throw love and marriage away based on money is so so wrong.
 

My mouth literally fell open reading this.  It makes me so... sad, I guess.  Disappointed. And thinking how it's possible that someone who proposes to 'love' someone and even is sealed to them, could so easily divorce them just because he hasn't made the amount of money she and her parents thinks he should.  I get that she wants to stay home with future children - but there are options and ways of making things work and who knows what blessings are yet in their future?  To throw love and marriage away based on money is so so wrong.
 

I am trying out the new Carinessa II low waist bottoms.  But I seem to be between sizes.  The XS fits me pretty snug....but the S seems to be a bit baggy on my hips and kind of bunches at the elastic.  Is carinessa going to shrink over time after washing it?  Or will it stretch out more?  I don't feel comfortable right now in either size, but haven't washed either one yet.  But I LOVE the carinessa fabric so I want to stick with that if possible.  Any suggestions would be helpful

You're a rare breed.
I didn't have regular insurance until Obamacare forced me to have one.  I put ~$400 to a Health Savings account and ~$100 per month to self-insure for Hospital and Surgical only.  The HSA I can give to the kids/grandkids/anybody if we end up not using it.  Right now, my HSA (that we quit paying into when Obamacare started 2 years ago), has more in it than what my dad paid for his entire lung cancer treatment.
My parents did not have insurance either.  My dad put money aside for healthcare, lived a healthy, holistic lifestyle with regular doctor check-ups paid out of pocket.  But my dad still ended up with lung cancer.  He tried to pay for his entire cancer treatment out of his own pocket but us, kids, wanted him to keep his money to leave for my mother.  We enrolled him in a clinical trial for Avastin so his meds and doctors were free.  We paid for the rest - about $2,000/month we divided among us kids.  He insisted on leaving the trial because he wanted to go home.  We continued his chemo outside of the trial at $10,000 per month just for the meds.  He gave us the money to pay for the meds.  When he died, my brother took over his bank account.  We realized he has saved up enough money for his health and retirement to make him a multi-millionaire even after shelling out ~$10,000/month for over a year.  We are not worried about my mother's retirement and healthcare costs but we, the kids, are still paying for her daily meds and her living expenses to keep dad's money for heavy rainy days.
My dad's brother had prostate cancer.  His sister had breast cancer, his other sister ovarian cancer.  All of them do not have health insurance and they all live in the Philippines - no government programs to take advantage of.  The prostate cancer guy lived for over 20 years before finally succumbing to it.  The family paid for his healthcare out of their own pockets.  The breast cancer and the ovarian cancer gals flew to the US to get treatment.  They paid for their stuff out of their own pockets as well.  They are both in remission for over a decade now.
What is common between these siblings besides the cancer... they all lived modest lives and saved up money all throughout their lives for healthcare costs.  My dad refused to buy me Converse shoes when Converse was a big thing back in the 80's.  I was 14 years old and went to work so I can buy Converse.  I used to wonder where his money goes... now we know.  If my mom passes peacefully leaving dad's money intact, the money will just stay there for any of the kids and grandkids to use if we end up with major medical costs.
Capitalism - when not interfered for by government - will make it so that our savings can actually AFFORD healthcare costs instead of having to pay $20 for one band-aid at the ER.  As it stands, being multi-national helps us as we get our regular healthcare stuff in the Philippines where things are cheaper and doctors still know how to diagnose (they don't spend money on lab work when it is not necessary just so they can protect themselves from being sued!).  We use American healthcare for the things America is super good at - the latest medical advancements in things like cancer treatment, biomedical engineering (especially in prostheses work), etc.
Okay, here's something that just happened last February - my son has been complaining of back pain.  We go to a holistic pediatrician and she referred us to this orthopaedic specialist.  The ortho guy was useless - he simply followed the protocol that the insurance covered even after we told him we are willing to pay out of pocket - he seemed like he didn't even know any other method except for what the insurance protocol is.  He took x-rays and sent my son to the Physical Therapist. 
The pain was not getting any better so I called my brother (neurologist) on the phone (he's in the Philippines) and he asked questions and reviewed the x-rays and bloodwork that the lab took.  He said to go get an MRI.  We go back to the ortho guy and told him we need an MRI.  The ortho guy said no, the insurance won't pay for it.  I said, we'll pay for it out of pocket.  He didn't want to do it... he wanted us to do this electro-something first (which the insurance covers).  The lab won't give us an MRI without doctor's referral.  So, we went ahead and did the electro and that produced nothing so the doctor gave my son a cortizone shot.  The cortizone didn't even ease the pain at all!  So the ortho finally got the MRI.  The ortho looked at the MRI results and said there's nothing wrong.  So, he gave us perscription pain meds for 30 days.  I didn't get the meds.  Instead, I took the MRI and sent it to my brother.  My brother said, the MRI they used was old tech but from what he DOESN'T see between the xray, the MRI, and his bloodwork, he told us we need to go to a chiropractor and tell the chiro to specifically do thoracic manipulation for mobility.  The chiro did an evaluation and told us he needs to do x,y,z we told him, if you can just do the thoracic thing we'll try that first and if that doesn't work, we'll do something else.  The chiro was pretty easy going so he did it.  That very first visit my son's pain was GONE.  GONE.  The cost of the chiropractor was less than the prescription pain meds if we would have paid it out of pocket.  As it stands, the insurance paid for all of it so it costs us nothing.  Somebody else is paying for all that extra cost for the useless procedures.  My brother diagnosed the problem by phone call and file sharing and it's not even neuro-related.  Now, if this would have happened in the Philippines, my brother (who is the family doctor - even performs circumcision even as a neurologist) would not have needed the MRI, he would most likely do the x-ray and bloodwork and do some diagnosis by feel and then send the kid to the chiro.  Costs a whole lot less than what the ortho here did so it would have been a cost we could cover.  That extra money would have saved some other guy from dying.  Oh, we don't pay my brother because he's family.  But, at the same time, he does a lot of live-saving neuro work for people in our hometown and they show up in his office with a bunch of chickens or bananas for payment...
The thing is... when you are young and vibrant but you know that you are responsible for your own healthcare, you tend to think twice about chugging that 64 ounce theater soda.  Healthcare costs, in general, becomes cheaper as people take more responsibility for their own lifestyles.  The really bad cases - being born with degenerative diseases, etc., can then be covered with the help of charitable people - like the Family, people like my brother, St. Jude's and such.  The government can step in for safety-net purposes and not as a standard source of care.  Costs stay down as the preservation of CHOICE in a regulated-but-not-too-much capitalistic market makes sure it stays down.
 

The flaw in this thinking is the idea that because something is done for a charity and service that it doesn't incur a cost.  SOMEONE has to pay.  Now, the American socialist idea is that someone ELSE has to pay besides me because someone makes more money than me.  That's why socialism fails everywhere it is tried.  And that is why a hospital run as a business is a better model.  Capitalism guarantees that costs are controlled and price is checked.  Same way that your food is not socialist - it's capitalist.  And if there's nothing else one can say about America, it is that America has an abundance of cheap food.
But then, American hospitals are not run on a Capitalistic paradigm anymore due to government over-reach.  And that's why you have big problems.  It may have cost you $20 bucks to set a bone in 1960 whereas it cost you $20,000 today... hospitals didn't have to pay a 20 million-dollar lawsuit for causing pain when setting a bone back in 1960 either.
 

Today my daughter peed all over the bench at church during sacrament meeting.
Anyone else got a story?

When we were dating/engaged/first married, he was a gamer in the sense it was a hobby with him. He'd play maybe 5-6 hours per week, liked to talk about the games, had a general interest in them. Then things went downhill and I can't pinpoint what happened to cause a change.
So, I have been living with my aunt for a couple of weeks now. We have separate bank accounts so I have all my money. I feel so much better, less stressed, enjoying my kids more. I'm continuing to pray for my husband. He's called a few times, says he misses us, wonders how he'll make rent. 
His parents, however, are furious with me. They've been worried about his changes too, but now are worried he will become their responsibility. So there's that madness.
Just wanted to give an update.

Genetics... culture of their family... introvert verses extrovert.
Similar to these boards. Some are content to read posts for years and never feel the need or want to jump in and 'speak'.  Others feel content to jump in and say something on almost every post.  Posts are conversations; some take part and some are happier to listen, thinking things in their own head they don't feel the need to express out loud. 
Really this question goes hand in hand with 'communication' in any setting; groups, church, standing in line at the grocery store, marriage. Some people are vocal and can't understand how others can just be happy to remain quiet and not jump in and talk. Others are quiet and can't imagine being the kind of personality that wants to talk all the time. 
 

So, a number of singers are upset that their creative product is being used by entities against whom the singers harbor deep, philosophical disagreements.  To which, one online commentator replied "Shut up and bake the cake, bigots!"
Are these singers' complaints analogous to those expressed by Christian bakers, florists, photographers, and so on?
Would a Christian service provider be justified in providing the service as-demanded, but then taking to social media in an attempt to name-and-shame the people who had just co-opted their services?
Thoughts?

This is an active silence - a virtue if ever there was one.  Unfortunately, many are still in oblivious-silence mode (definitely not a virtue).

Genetics... culture of their family... introvert verses extrovert.
Similar to these boards. Some are content to read posts for years and never feel the need or want to jump in and 'speak'.  Others feel content to jump in and say something on almost every post.  Posts are conversations; some take part and some are happier to listen, thinking things in their own head they don't feel the need to express out loud. 
Really this question goes hand in hand with 'communication' in any setting; groups, church, standing in line at the grocery store, marriage. Some people are vocal and can't understand how others can just be happy to remain quiet and not jump in and talk. Others are quiet and can't imagine being the kind of personality that wants to talk all the time.