seashmore

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Everything posted by seashmore

  1. Congrats on the win @MormonGator!
  2. Matt. 26:41 "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." You know who can strengthen our flesh, right? (Hint: it involves prayer.) Seems to me that you recognize your temptation to masterbate, but struggle at that line between being tempted and yielding to temptation. You can't stop a bird from flying over a tree, but you can stop it from building a nest. As far as the scripture thing goes, think of it like brushing your teeth. I'm sure there's been a night where you fell asleep without brushing or a morning you didn't have time. Does that mean you never brush again? No. Same with scriptures.
  3. Haven't watched the video (and probably won't), but I can say that filming/recording during sacrament meeting bothers me, regardless of the content. The only comment I can think of to make is that church members (and the world in general) would do well to take heed the counsel to bridle our passions.
  4. My sympathies to you and your brother, for your father's behavior that day was inappropriate. I recommend Matthew 10, starting around verse 16, for comfort reading.
  5. @askandanswer @Sunday21 group e-hug!!
  6. I've gone through spells where this is why I go. Like the three weeks after a YSA bishop announced over the pulpit that we wouldn't be having any Sunday meetings over Christmas and New Years because "there wouldn't be enough people here to be worth it." I get that 75% of the ward would have gone to their family ward, anyway, but there are more tactful ways of announcing it. Also, I was depressed and feeling extra far away from family, so I had to use all my strength and then some to fight off the temptation to take it personally, saying that I wasn't worth it. (Something I knew as an intellectual truth, but had a hard time understanding it emotionally.) I mentioned it to a stake counselor a few months later in an interview and felt much better.
  7. Why is it you go to church on Sundays? Currently, I go because I am looking for opportunities to serve and uplift others because that's what helps me to be like Jesus. At another point in my life, my main reason for going was to be spiritually educated and understand my Savior better. When I'm in the throes of depression, I go because it's a habit and I need hugs.
  8. Don't think I've seen it. Might have to check it out, though.
  9. Good, because that's the part I can help with. He's not listed as a driver on your insurance. If someone rear ends him while driving, it could throw a wrench in his citizenship process to be driving while uninsured. It would be too much of a financial burden to add him as a driver, should he suggest that. (I don't know how true those last two points are, but I'm sure you can make them true enough for an argument's sake.) Don't be afraid to calmly leave the room during an argument or heated discussion if it becomes clear that either one of you is too upset to listen to reason and/or the Spirit. Walk around the block, take a shower, do something mindless for ten minutes and see if the conversation is worth coming back to. Right or wrong, that's something I do. As I once told my rage filled sister while she was living with me: I will not allow contention into my home. Make that scripture the first vinyl lettering you add to the decor in your new home.
  10. Not Always Right has a facebook page. It's where retail employees go to bemoan the less than stellar customers. You could maybe contact their admin and see if they would let you post a survey with some basic questions, including one where they have the option of allowing you to contact them.
  11. There have been situations where I did not stand up to bullying in the workplace because I was fearful of retaliation. The bully was a manager essentially making fun of a shift supervisior for not knowing something like how many ounces are in a pound. In the moment, I rationalized my inaction with "they're talking about kitchen area stuff, and I only deal with front register stuff" and also the underlying belief that "if I tell the manager to stop picking on her, he will pick on me instead, and she will feel embarrassed/possibly get made fun of later for not being able to fight her own battles." I have, however, got the male chauvinist in our office to stop telling customers "I treat them (front desk ladies) with all the respect due their age and gender." He was "joking" with an acquaintance of his that he had to "put up" with us 40 hours a week, so I turned his words back around and said to the woman he was talking to, "We treat him with all the respect due his age and gender." I bet if you hit up pages geared towards employees in the food/retail service industry, you'd find 40 people willing to talk.
  12. I was angry that management hadn't taken any disciplinary action against the offending employee. I was also a little bit angry that my friend/roommate/coworker wasn't pushing harder for them to do that herself. (i.e., I felt they cut him too much slack because of the Down Syndrome.) I have a natural creeper repellent, so I'm never fearful that I'll be next. (Honestly, there have been guys I have seen hit on everything breathing, except me.) I was too busy feeling angry and defensive of my friend to feel relief that it wasn't me. Because we were also living together, I saw how deeply it troubled her, which is one reason I told the DM. Also, I knew that the managers who were in the store that day would not have been forthcoming with the whole story, and I wanted to make sure he knew it. I'm currently having trouble with logging in to my gmail, but once I can, I'll see if the essay I wrote for the employee survey says anything I may have forgotten about.
  13. I'll be a second witness to that.
  14. Odds are, all of the LDS women in your dating pool are probably preparing to serve missions, while non-LDS member women in your dating pool are either currently uninterested in marriage or looking for a member of their own congregation. When I worked in the temple (my mission equivalent since crippling student debt prevented me from saving up money to serve), I remember hearing counsel from somewhere that more important than preparing to serve a mission is preparing to receive your own endowment. I suggest you focus your personal study on preparing for the temple (Oct 2010 Ensign is a good place to start) and put the dating search on hold for now. Even if you aren't planning on serving a mission, you'll have to receive your own endowment before becoming sealed, which is why I'm suggesting you focus there.
  15. Hidden Figures I really enjoyed it, despite some of the obvious liberties they took for entertainment value. I look forward to watching the commentary and special features. Definitely interesting too see Kirsten Dunst play a character over 25, and I loved seeing Aldis Hodge!
  16. Suggest a phone conversation once you're in the US. If he's not willing to commit to that right now (and it doesn't sound to me like he would be), odds are he won't be willing to commit to anything more any time soon, while it seems like you are. People always get hurt when one is faster to commit to a relationship; you have to be equally yoked in that regard or you end up going in circles. It will hurt a lot less to keep him as a friendly memory than a one sided relationship.
  17. It's ok. I'll protect you. I've never seen Star Wars.
  18. Character, character, character. I love character development, both in my entertainment and in my personal relationships. Getting to know people, whether they are real or fictional, is one of my favorite past times. My favorite shows are Psych, Firefly, Leverage, and Parks & Rec. I'm also a sucker for Liberty's Kids and Bored Shorts YouTube when I had internet at home. (Thank you, library). There's a group of us who watch Psych every Wednesday at 9 pm CST while live tweeting using #PsychRewatch. When I'm not watching shows, I watch movies. Then I watch the special features, including commentary tracks. Mostly, I'm looking for something that makes me laugh or makes me wiser. Now, before you get to thinking that I'm a complete couch potato for all that I watch, I usually do it while crocheting, so visual effects carry far less weight than music and conversations. I don't do super hero/action/thriller or horror (real life is scary enough). I stopped watching The Big Bang Theory until it became obsessed with sexual relationships.
  19. Set a goal of filling either a trash bag or a box each day of either things to toss or donate until you feel it's decluttered or summer is over. I used this method over Lent (so, a goal of 40 bags/boxes) with better success than any other time I've tried. While doing so, I created a mantra, "stuff is just stuff and it's getting in the way." I'd say that whenever I was indecisive about whether to keep something.
  20. The divorce has to be finalized before a divorced person can officially attend a Single's Ward/events. Otherwise, you're right about there not being a standard answer that fits all. It definitely depends on the person and the previous relationship, but I would suggest a minimum of three months after it's finalized. If children are involved and at least school age, I would wait until the kids have also come to terms with the divorce before dating and not do a meet-and-greet until the significant other is being seriously considered for marriage.
  21. We are more selective with electroshock therapy. I call that progress. No, I don't have evidence-I have common sense, wisdom, and experience. Something this world is sorely lacking, along with an understanding of the difference between "your" and "you're."
  22. FWIW, I was 12 when my parents divorced, 16 when I first realized I didn't want to live the sort of life my mother had made for herself, and I was 20 when I understood the best way to do that would be to physically distance myself from her. I've read articles that state one factor for millenials getting married later in life than previous generations is because so many come from divorced parents. They want to be sure what happened to them doesn't happen to their kids.
  23. Do you have evidence to back up your assertion that the teenage years are more formative than the early years in a person's life? I would like to see evidence that supports your statement that the "vast majority" of divorces occur before children reach the age of accountability.
  24. Speaking specifically of depression, I compare it to a car (body) getting really bad gas mileage. Sometimes, it's just a matter of no gas, or bad gas in the tank. Relatively easy fix of going and getting more gas or maybe a fuel additive (eating healthier, exercising more, changing your perspective, etc.). Sometimes, though, the cause is a leak in the fuel tank. That kind of fix requires a professional and significantly more resources. Telling someone to "choose happiness" (the nondenominational equivalent of obeying gospel principles) when their body is physically depressed is like telling someone with a leak in their fuel tank to just get more gas. There are still a lot of advancements that need to be made in the study of mental health and treatments of mental illnesses. I hope we get there. I think we're making good progress.
  25. Yes, a broken home should serve as a yellow flag, not a red one. I say that as a child of a divorce. One year, my seminary class had four students who came from a dual active parent home, and the other half of the class came from either a divorced or part member parentage. During a marriage lesson, our seminary teacher, bless her heart, told us pretty much that just because it happened to our parents doesn't mean it would happen to us. A message I've taken to heart. I've looked deep at the collapse of my parent's marriage, and what I found is a big part of why I live so far away. I felt I would become more like my mother if I stayed, and I am confident that her misguided priorities and inattentiveness as a wife and mother had a lot to do with my dad's affair. Although she did teach me to not judge people by their family, so she's not all bad. ;-) At my age, I'm more concerned about my mate being divorced than his parents! But, even then, I know it's best to look at the full picture. How recent is the divorce? Who initiated it and why? Are there children? Is she (the ex) off the charts crazy? Is he worthy? Is he worth it? I think there are two cabins in the "pray about it" camp. One is to ask a more open ended question, and one is to make a decision and pray for confirmation. I know the Lord responds to me best when I say, "this is what I would like to do. Are you good with it?" When I try the vague "what should I do?" I often get the impression that He knows I'm capable of drawing my own conclusions.