Lost Boy

That would be good. You may miss out on some immediate fun, but in the long run you will be happier.

I've only been to 17. If I am by myself, I am much the same. pretty carefree. If I am wife my wife, she likes things planned. Air B and B is great for fairly spontaneous trips. I think in the coming years we are going to do a lot more travel. There are many more places I want to see and due to my wife's job we can fly nearly anywhere for almost free.

I started this year on truly focusing on what I can do for others in the family, especially the Mrs. We took the 5 love languages test and her love language is acts of service. I am a physical touch kind of guy. She would do nice things for me, but not really do a lot of physical touch stuff. I on the other hand made sure I hugged her and kissed her every day. Neither one of us were communicating our love for the other they way the other wanted it shown. So now on top of the hugs and kisses, I look for ways I can serve her. If I see a room that needs some cleaning, I'll clean it before she can. If she is cleaning the kitchen, I'll jump in and help. I am working on painting the house for her. And although she has a hard time showing affection due to the way she was raised, she is trying her best. But the point is every day make it a goal to serve your spouse and kids. Do it regardless if you get anything in return. Do it even if you are unhappy with the person you are doing it for. Before passing judgement on something that has happened, take a step back. Take a few deep breaths, try and take a look at the bigger picture. I find that when I do this, I have far more charity. Charity is a powerful force helping bring out the best in people. The people that you often have a hard time showing charity to are the ones who truly need it the most.

It would seem the guy would happily wreck a marriage for his own personal desires. Sad, but he won't be the first or last to do so. In all honesty, she is as much to blame. So if there is a major issue, he would only be half of it. He should know better.

Absolutely. These are the beginnings of what is called an emotional affair. I know. My wife had one with a guy at work.... Nothing happened.. Just friends... It tore my heart in two. Screwed with my wife's head something crazy as well. So stop messing with a married woman. Even if she thinks it is OK, it isn't The husband will be hurt, the wife will be hurt, the marriage will be hurt in the end and you are too clueless to see it. Honestly, if I were engaged to you and knew you were playing with another man's wife, I would break off the engagement and move on. It essentially signals that you will not have the proper respect for your wife to be.

If you got a good voice, go for it. I don't know if your ward has a facebook page, but if it does, put a request out there and I bet you could find someone quickly that could accompany you. As for not letting the emotions get to you.... Try singing it in the car a few times or wherever and cry a few emotions out ahead of time. And don't think of the words while you sing..

Listen to the whole thing. My daughter has really out done me. She has a 20 min drive to work and listens to one talk there and one talk back and has listened to every talk back to at least 2014. I will often pop in a talk for my dog walks in the morning and night. Good way to keep the mind focused on the good things in life.

The only thing that gives me concern is your last statement. You would rather spend a brief time with someone than attain celestial glory... Eternal Celestial glory.... That doesn't make any sense to me at all. It makes no sense to trade an eternity for a fraction of a moment. Does that mean you shouldn't marry her? I am not saying that. If I were you, I would still probably marry her and hope that she joins the church. Treat her with love, kindness and gentleness throughout your marriage and she will probably come around. There are no guarantees in life. My friend married in the temple. A couple of years later his wife stopped going. It became harder and harder for him to go. He ended up stop going as well. Later she ran off with her boss and the two got divorced. He is remarried, but the church really isn't part of his life right now. His only consolation prize is that his wife while married to him was smoking hot. After she left she let herself fall apart and his new wife is gorgeous in every way inside and out. Oh, and his new wife let him spread his entrepreneurial wings and has ended up doing very well financially because of it. keep God first in your life.

I don't think distance from Utah has anything to do with it.

That is a good movie, but it took me a lot longer than 40 days to get to a point where I could sleep at night. But like in the movie, you have to commit 100% and not give up when the going gets tough. My theme song is "I'm trying to be little Jesus ' showing kindness when you don't want to or think you can. It is what makes the miracles. If you haven't read the book 5 love languages, I highly recommend it. Hopefully you will be able to use it.

My wife had an emotional affair with someone at work. Although not physical, it rocked me to my core. My wife would not have had the affair if we had a stronger relationship. I am guessing that you have not had the strongest relationship with your husband and you sound heartbroken over your lover. This is going to be very difficult for your husband. When I found out about my wife's affair, I was devastated. I couldn't eat, sleep, work for a couple of months. She wouldn't give me many details and I ended up going through her texts and chat logs to figure things out. I had a hard time trusting her. I still have a hard time. My kids are mostly grown and really didn't play into how I handled it. When she first told me, I remained emotionless and just asked questions. I then took it to the lord in prayer.. My answer was to forgive her and love her. It has been 3 months and things between us are better now than they have been for years. But are you sorry you did what you did? Or are you more sorry that it didn't work out? It sounds a bit like your husband is the consolation prize. If he feels like that, then things are going to be rough. No guy wants to be number two. But tell him you must. Be open and honest about it. If you don't, you are telling him that he is not that important to you. I hope that you can work things out. You have a tough road ahead. And you will need to work hard to show him he is number one. If you really want your marriage to succeed, you will need to do this and it will probably be the hardest thing you will ever do. He will probably reject your attempts and you will need to keep your emotions in check and show kindness in all that you do. I wish you the best. Be honest and open. He deserves it. There is hope, but a lot will depend on you.

Dang, this went off topic fast..... Guess we may be a little more food motivated.

I could certainly throw the steaks in the broiler after the sous vide. That may be better. Take a tad longer buy may be worth it. If only I had had time to smoke them for an hour first.

Certainly he is more sophisticated than wanting well done. The only Godly way of steak preparation is medium rare.

Actually, my wife left me three strips of pork belly and a little bit of teriyaki chicken and I did partake...

Right or wrong I went with the tuna salad with Kewpie Mayonnaise and a few drops of Endorphin Rush hot sauce. It turned out quite nice. As for the steak.... That will be for dinner. It will be a NY strip with salt, pepper, garlic power soaking in a Sous Vide Cooker for 4.5 hours at 134F. It will then be seared in a cast iron pan with butter for a brief period of time. I suspect I might even share half with my wife. I think I need another angel number.... Keep all to myself and make me fatter, and happy... or give half to the mrs. making her happy and possibly increasing my happiness latter on in the evening, but no guarantee. yup need a sign...

quite right. I am just not in tune enough to divine the meaning. Should I have steak for lunch or tuna salad? I know that it answers this question, but I just can't figure it out.

ya never know.

My wife is into Angel numbers. She tries to find meaning in random numbers.

Sounds like an awful situation. There is no excuse for unruly kids. If they are special needs kids, they should have teachers specifically trained to deal with them and appropriate class sizes. If they are not special needs kids and just untrained, then they need some tough love. I read a bit about the Finnish educational system. In elementary school they keep their class sizes small and they keep the same teacher for a number of years. This allows the teachers to really get to know each student and really work on shaping the behavior of the students. I think a system like that would do wonders for the inner cities. Imagine actually educating the badness out of the inner cities..

I'll give one more related. Acting out in anger almost never achieves positive results. I can't think of a single time when I acted out in anger that I was happy with the results. Anger is a pretty useless emotion. I think most of the time if you take a deep breath, take a step back, try to look at the bigger picture, you find that you anger is generally not so justified.

That is a good question. Would a spouse that had a year and a half long emotional affair with someone constitute being cruel? Or are we talking about something worse like a spouse physically abusing the other? Let's start with the later. The later is a bit tricky as there are different degrees to abuse. If it is physically life threatening type, the kindest thing would be to call the police and get law enforcement intervention. Protects both parties... although one side may not agree to this statement. I think maybe the easiest way is to learn to control ones emotions. Emotions get in the way of clear thought. And without clarity of thought, it is near impossible to be kind in a cruel situation. I am far better at controlling my emotions than I used to be. When I found out about my wife's emotional affair, I could have gone different ways. It honestly broke my heart in half learning about it, but I just calmly listened to her and calmly asked questions. Not mean questions, but questions about who and why. In my earlier years, I am sure I would have erupted and had a nuclear melt down. This time I took it to the Lord on my knees. The answer was clear. "Lover her, forgive her, treat her with kindness" It took a couple of months before the hurt inside really started to go away. Had she been abusive, I would have asked her to go to counseling. And if she refused, I would leave her. Staying in a bad situation is not necessarily showing kindness. Cruel situation are not easy to deal with and it takes a cool head and the help of the Lord to know how best to deal with it.

The lord certainly didn't give all of us the same talents and abilities. Some are great communicators. Others are not. Unfortunately unkind things can come out of the mouths of members. Those comments can drive those with testimonies planted in the rocky soil to leave the church. Further more the person making the comment may not have even realized that they did something wrong. Chances are that this is the case with your experience. I know I have made dumb comments and didn't realize till after the fact. You didn't have to explain yourself. I had an event in my life in January that shook me to the core. I prayed earnestly about it since then. Part of the answer to that prayer was a firm prompting that I need to be kind to those around me. I really took stock of how I have lived my life and figured that I even though I thought I had, had not been kind. I had not been mean, but I had not actively pursued a kind life. That was back in January. Since that time I have actively sought ways to be kind to those around me. Forgive wrong doings, etc. Furthermore, I have noticed many talks in sacrament meeting and in general conference specifically urging kindness. It has had a significant impact on my life. My guess is that the brother that wasn't kind to you could use some kindness in his life. Showing true kindness to those around us even when they don't deserve it can have a powerful effect, subtle yet powerful. It can truly change those around us.

I believe God to be a God of love. He loves his creations and wants the best for them. As such I cannot envision a scenario where he creates offspring and puts them in situations where by the very nature of the condition they are born in essentially turns them into bad people. And then they die. And with no repentance after this life they would be damned. I just don't see God doing something like this. There is no logic behind it and I find God's plan to be very logical as well. It only makes sense that there has to be room for repentance after we leave mortal life. I often contemplate on the fate of those that go to the telestial and terrestrial kingdoms. Do souls really stop there? Stopped for all eternity? No birth? no death? Or is there room in the Gospel for some sort of reincarnation where souls that do not make the celestial kingdom are reborn again into the telestial kingdom for them to be refined some more? And redo the process until they are refined into celestial beings? As far as I know there is not much known about what happens in these lesser kingdoms. Does a God that truly loves his creations want them to stop there? I don't know. What I do know is that he wants us to become more like him to the best of our abilities in this life. Chances are most of us will fall way short. This is where the atonement comes in. I hope that the telestial and terrestrial kingdoms aren't just the end of the road and something tells me that they aren't, but at the same time I know that those are not my objective either. And that focusing on a celestial life is what I should be doing.

There are a few General conference talks that have had a big impact on me recently. "By Divine Design", "Of regrets and resolutions", "Kindness, Charity and Love". They have helped me through my recent difficult times.