NeuroTypical

I worked with a fun lady a few years ago. On her desk, sat a picture of three people. Her, a guy, and another lady - all bunched up pressed cheek to cheek together. She and the lady look like they're having the time of their lives. The guy in the middle is forcing a smile and you can see the vein bulge quite clearly. She told me it was a picture of him, his current wife, and his ex-wife. I forget if she was the current or the ex, but apparently they're great friends with each other, and love torturing him like this. Apparently he puts up with it, because all three of them agree that he's done things to clearly deserve such treatment. I giggle every time I think about that picture.

Hi Yussef, Where does your wife get her pot? Is she doing business with people who also kidnap, murder, and sell child sex slaves? The transnational criminal organizations (can't really call them cartels any more) are horrible things - it's hard to cram more evil into an organization that will kidnap 11 yr old girls and sell them in other countries into a life of forced sex, wouldn't you think? I mean, if your wife is dealing locally with a grower she knows personally, that's one thing. But if she buys from some guy on a street corner somewhere, her dollars may be supporting some pretty horrible things. One would think that doing business with such people would indicate a problem, but people who do MJ tend to be incredibly unwilling to care. There are several threads on this site where people are willing to just ignore the horrible, because of the supposed blessings and boons of pot. I'd be interested to see if your wife is one of them.

Hi and welcome embupley6. There is always hope. My wife was also abused as a child. Things are pretty much never easy, but she and we are making it. I recommend you read up on PTSD and abuse. It will help you understand some realities that you both could be dealing with for the rest of your lives. The journey of every abused person and their loved ones is different, so I can't really say what the future holds for you and hubby. What helped me was to keep a broadly open mind, learn to accept what I can't change or influence, and try to be strong when she needs me to be the strong one. Good luck and God bless

Hi Jonathan and welcome!

I think it's more of a "language evolves over time" thing. The word "ghost" used to be in more mainstream use back 50 years ago. These days, it conjures up notions of R-rated movies of dead girls crawling across the ceiling and whatnot, so a lot of Christians have just switched to "Holy Spirit" as a natural progression in language referring reverently to the third personage in the Trinity/Godhead/etc.Mormons tend to hold on to old traditions longer, unless we get specific guidance from our leaders. But we can eventually change on our own, once we realize there's a good reason to. 15 years ago, I never heard the term "holy spirit" at church. These days, it's about half and half.

I've never heard the Holy Ghost referred to as "just like us" before. I admit I haven't really read up on scripture and prophetic statements on the matter (or at least can't remember anything from the last time I did). Do you have a source?

I got married at 26 - hopefully that means I can speak on this thread without ticking anyone off because I happen to be married with kids now. So, believe it or not, some of the most endearing and relationship-building moments I had with my girlfriend (who eventually became my wife), was that neither of us were hesitant about saying "stupid" when we saw stupid. I wonder what might have happened if either the author or the nice guy had shared what was obviously on both of their minds. That they'd just heard a stupid, useless, clueless, and unhelpful comment from someone who would be magnifying his calling if he could figure out a way to know better.My wife made it through those years by figuring out that anyone can be stupid, and not taking it personally. "I trust God to act like God, and man to act like man" - sort of her catch phrase for why she could endure the mormons in her life and still stay mormon. I made it through those years by going inactive for 6 years, and being an absolute stone wall to anyone who tried to talk to me about such things. I figure her way is better.

Hi Nora, I don't know. It would probably be best to ask your Bishop.

Do you truly never ever, ever get ticked off at anyone for anything ever? If that's the case, your husband should have picked up on that by now, and know that your reaction doesn't have anything to do with the church. If, however, you're like most people, and various people can push your buttons on occasion, maybe it's worth examining why you're not more upset at the rude people.After all, your nonmember hubby was there for you, trying to do you a favor, and got treated rudely for his trouble. If I had that experience, I'd sort of wonder why you are not more ticked off at those people also.

IMO, this part is the most difficult for a lot of people. Because for whatever reason, we're worried that talking about such things will come across as not believing or trusting the other party.(Probably a big chunk of the reason why we're worried, is because so many people actually will get all bent out of shape at the mere notion that things might not go perfectly.)

At one time, I was able to see ordinance information online. I can't for the life of me remember what website or program though. Hey Geneaologists! Is there a way to search online for who did the ordinances?

That's my point - how many people are descendants of your grandmother's mother and grandmother? Any of those people (and there could be hundreds) "should be doing it", because they're related. Your grandmother may have never met many of them, or even know of their existence.Think about it - how well do you know your grandmother's brothers and sisters and their families? Do you even know if your grandmother has any? I'm vaguely aware of some on my mother's side, and totally unaware of my father's side. Well, your grandmother is in the same boat. I feel bad when people almost have strokes because of percieved harm too. Maybe learning the rest of the story will help.

My sister does geneology. My dad's great-great-grandparent sailed from England to the US in the mid 1800's. My sister finally tracked down all of his descendants - hundreds and hundreds of them. People in half a dozen different states. People with lots and lots of different last names. People in dozens of different family units who will probably never know members of the other units. I personally actually only know maybe a dozen or two of them.You keep saying 'we' and 'my family' and all - how many total descendents did your great-great have? Does everybody know everyone else? Are you sure? Go to https://createfan.com/ and see your fan chart - I was totally blown away by mine. Show it to your upset relatives - they may find themselves too interested to be upset.

My family is notoriously uninterested in most of the "ok everybody, let's all get together and go [X]"-type activities. I think word got out years ago, because we only get invited to the usual neverending flow of pampered chef parties, but that's all.

Nimrod, just out of curiosity, are you a Stake guy?

I'd like to know what people mean by "spying".

"Hi concrete dude. Look - the insurance company is breathing down my neck. They're making life hard for me, and I have to get this done. I need you to commit to having the work done by [date], or I'll need my money back. I totally understand if you can't make the date, and of course I'll only need the money refunded for the work you haven't already done. Sorry if I didn't make the urgency clear when we spoke before." Clear expectations kills awkwardness.

Ya wanna tell us about it Eowyn?

Rather than try to figure out who can see what when and how, I just assume that every time I click on a keyboard, facebook or not, three groups of people have access to what I just typed: - Everybody I know, or used to know, or will ever know. - My worst enemy - The security department at my work (and any future place of employment) It's so much easier to figure out what to say and not say, when you just assume this to be true. You want a private conversation with someone? Don't do it electronically.

Chandra was her name. What was his? (It'll be interesting to know whether people remember the name Zimmerman or Trayvon Martin more as a year or three go by.)

No. The new post-modern America doesn't have any longer of an attention span than the pre-post-modern America. If Zimmerman stays off the radar, it'll go away as soon as the news cycle has something else to focus on.Real quick - does anyone remember the congressman from California who was constantly in the news for having an extramarital affair right before the 9/11 bombing? They never even found her body until 8 months after 9/11, but he basically vanished from headline news the instant the planes hit.

We nicknamed our children Trauma and Drama. They're more like webcomic characters.

On a serious (or at least slightly less Chucky) note:I've had a friend over the years. Watched him get married to a girl very VERY attached to her dolls. I've helped them move like five times in the past decade. First move, the dolls rode up front in the car with her. It was made very clear that they were as important as pets to her, or maybe even babies. Second move, dolls were still last packed and first unpacked. Third move, they were still unboxed quickly and displayed prominently. When it came time for the fourth move, I noticed they were unmoved over the years from where they were unboxed. Fifth move, I think she either got rid of some of them, or never unpacked them. Point being, people do change over time. They grew in their marriage and had a few babies. Every shift of the doll's importance in her life, measured by the moves, came directly from her. The dolls just grew less crucial to her day to day life over time. I think she was as surprised as anyone.

Dr. Laura's "3 A's": Abuse, adultry, addiction. (We've sort of been conditioned to think of bad habits as addictions. She's talking about "lose your job and the house, and soon someone's life" sort of addictions.)

Interesting. So, she does not even expect fidelity out of him? Why bother calling that a marriage at all? My wife has what she calls "deal breakers". Basically, behaviors that she will leave the marriage over. Violence, child abuse, that sort of thing. I'm assuming that the average married person has a similar obvious list in the back of their minds, unspoken. She had encountered such behaviors in the past, some within her own family, so she felt them worth specifically mentioning.