notquiteperfect

If you have been sustained in Sacrament meeting...you should be set apart. I am curious if you have called someone to be a Primary Teacher or Sunday School Teacher or Youth Teacher and never felt they needed to be set apart?? They need to be set apart, for guidance and inspiration and perhaps to help them overcome their fears. That Sunbeam teacher and Nursery leader calling is just as important if not more so than the Elders Q Pres.

I feel it's important that every person no matter the calling from Sunbeam teachers to Elders Quorum Presidents should have the opportunity to be set apart.
 
No calling is more important than another.  All callings have a purpose and a responsibility attached to them.

Thanks, Pam!  Been out of town (and checking in here instead of unpacking).  :)

Thanks, Pam!  Been out of town (and checking in here instead of unpacking).  :)

Welcome back to you.  :)

- a poinsettia with a ribbon tied around it (can find at Lowes, Home Depot for $1 on Black Friday)
- a thought book with different quotes and recipes (saw them at the dollar store)
- a taper candle with a scripture advent (check google)
- handmade cards or tags tied with a ribbon
- snowman soup (hot chocolate, marshmallows, candy cane in a cellophane bag) with poem (love google!)
- a small tin with dried fruit or nuts (healthier than sweets in case some are watching their weight)

Aside from what has already been mentioned (start dating her!!!!, etc), I also suggest leaving notes around for her to find, bring her flowers for no reason, etc.  It wouldn't hurt to ask her why she's hesitant (pain, not fulfilled/satisfied, bored, feels unattractive, it's gross, etc).  If it's a low libido issue - a health issue could be behind that (look into Traditional Chinese Medicine or find a naturopath since western doctors don't deal with underlying causes).  Also, do you give her back massages without expecting anything further, etc?  Furthermore, don't ever do anything to break her trust - that can be a deal breaker for quite some time.
 
Brotherson (mentioned above) has a website as well: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com

Am I the only one who finds this story a bit over the top as it goes on? Seems someone's getting played and maybe not the bishop

When we say Bishops dont receive training is not totally accurate. I cant speak for the whole Church but, it comes down to the Stake Presidents and the training they give to the Bishops. We were always encouraged to make sure door not locked and to leave it partially open and to have someone sitting outside the door. That could be a councilor or parent or even a youth leader.  As for interviewing Youth I personally always used a different set of questions depending on their age. I am not crazy about having a Parent in the room with me while interviewing their son or daughter for two reasons. The first being I would be concerned with getting the young man or woman to open up and feel comfortable and the other reason is....I dont want Mom or Dad answering the questions for their son or daughter or trying to dominate the conversation.
   I have had some very good conversations with the youth when I interviewed them. There were times they told me things and would then ask.....are you going to tell my Parents?? I would reply No i am not....but I think you should. Had a few times where the youth asked if I could get their Parents and bring them into the room.
    Bishops are human and we make mistakes....these callings are hard enough as it is. You get more crap from members sometimes than what you got going door to door as a Missionary. If you have never been a Bishop you have no idea what its like.  The first time I was called I dont think I did a great job at my calling being new and learning what I was suppose to do. I never asked to be called either time, but I am thankfull I was called a second time and I feel like I did a better job the second time around.  Total combined years of serving both times was 11 years.

A few thoughts -
- One antidote is to serve him.  You can do this anonymously and as often as you decide.
- Another is to pray for him.  (Matthew 5:44)
- You may want to consider saying something to him just so he can learn from it.  Keep it simple ("I'm sure your heart was in the right place but I need you to know that what you said really hurt my feelings."), hand him a plate of cookies, wish him a nice day and leave.
 
x

Shepard... I have to ask... what was your response the very first time your daughter told you that the bishop creeped her out?
 
Did you blow off her concerns? (at least in her mind).  Or did you talk to her and try to figure out what was bothering her?  (Again this was the very first time)
 
As parents we need to take signs that our kids have issues with other adults that we would consider "Trusted" very seriously.  Maybe it is just a personality clash, maybe its just a teenage rebellion thing, but in this day in age were we are very much aware of child predators and we can't expect a child to bring forth concerns and then not listen when they do.
 
To me this sound very much like a "your not listening so I will make everyone listen" kind of response.
 
I have not heard the recording but since you have and you aren't calling for the bishop's head and I going to assume that this is a parent/child issue with the bishop being caught in the middle.  And since you are the adult you need to take charge in fixing it.

If my daughter did this, even if she truly felt uncomfortable with the Bishop's interview, I would be so ashamed--ashamed that my daughter has no regard for authority or appropriate behavior.  Did I not teach her proper behavior?  How could I as a parent fall so short of my responsibility of teaching correct manners.  If this is an actual occurrence, and not some troll trying to get a rise out of us, I would be so embarrassed over my child's behavior.  And, I as a mother, look at my children's behavior as a reflection on me.  This is not a funny joke that she perpetrated.  This is just totally uncalled for and inappropriate.  I may rile a few people here, because I understand that children can go against their parent's teachings.  But, this behavior is not acceptable.  If the Bishop's questions were a little out of line, then she should have gone to her parents.  This sounds to me like she purposefully egged him on.  And recorded it!
 
I should probably just erase what I just typed and not post this.  I usually don't get upset over posts.  And, it's not the post that is upsetting me, it's the behavior of a 15 year old girl.  Not acceptable or funny!

None of us have heard the audio recording.  We don't know if the questions being asked were out of line.  Was the Bishop digging deeper into the details because he was a perv?  Or did he need to dig a little deeper to decide if some disciplinary action was required.
 
We've always been taught that conversations with the Bishop remain confidential.  Most Bishops respect that aspect of their calling.
 
Your daughter betrayed him with her recording and sharing of the audio.  If she really was concerned she could have taken it to you as parents.  Not share it around the school to get a few laughs.  
 
Yeh something wrong with the daughter here.
 
I actually feel for the Bishop here.

+1 to everything you've said here.  If this was my daughter, she'd be in so much trouble!  I would not be concerned about the bishop -- I'd be focused entirely on her manipulation.  I'd also be concerned about where/how she's learning such detail that she can just spout off extemporaneously.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

First, welcome!  
As far as your past being held against you - not at all!  
Not sure what type of advice you're after but a couple ideas: 
- you could start reading "The Book of Mormon" (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng)
- you can live chat with the missionaries (http://www.mormon.org/ > upper right corner)
- you can attend services at your local building (you can either ask the missionaries where it is or we can help you figure that out, too)

First, welcome to the Church!  
Your bishop will need to interview you and they usually do that pretty soon.  Then they'll ask for a sustaining vote in Sacrament Mtg and confer the priesthood on you either during Priesthood Mtg or after.  You need to be 16 to bless the sacrament.

First, welcome!  
As far as your past being held against you - not at all!  
Not sure what type of advice you're after but a couple ideas: 
- you could start reading "The Book of Mormon" (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng)
- you can live chat with the missionaries (http://www.mormon.org/ > upper right corner)
- you can attend services at your local building (you can either ask the missionaries where it is or we can help you figure that out, too)

It's not the right color......:))

I don't mean to "re-hijack" my own thread (and I'm not at all offended by the tangent it has gone off on; I think it's a great discussion), but in the weeks since I first posted this topic I've been amazed by how many articles and talks, in magazines, church publications and online, have dealt with my very concerns.  I'm talking about things that have come out since I asked my question that I've just stumbled across accidentally.
 
I have been presented with so much information, encouragement and spiritual nourishment from these talks and articles, just when I needed it most.  As always, I am stunned by just how aware Heavenly Father is of my needs and how He comes through with what I need when I am finally receptive to it.

Your son shouldn't reach 400 pounds if you don't have junk food in the house and you prepare nutritious meals.  Sure, he will get some junk out of the house, but if you make your house a healthy haven then he should be fine.  It would also help your husband. 
 
And if he (your husband) is the one buying it, just tell him you will pitch it.  Totally reasonable under the circumstances.
 
Here's the hard truth.  Your husband isn't going to do anything about his weight until he wants to.  No amount of pestering or nagging will change that and probably makes it worse.

1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish.
 
2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems.  His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours.  Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can.  The thing you can do is be supportive of him.  Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it.
 
I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point.
 
3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life.  In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.

Maybe if you loved and respect him he would see that he is worthy of love and respect and he would treat his body with respect and love. MY sis in law treats my brother the way you describe and he gets to feeling so worthless and hopeless because of it that he eats even more.  I have been happy married for more than two decades and I have learned that a man will do anything to please you if they know they are loved, adored and treated as the most special person in the world.

I have actually come back into this thread quite a few times to read it and each time the same thought stands out for me.
 
You said your husband was clearly overweight when you were dating him... yet you married him anyway.
 
What was it in your husband that made you fall in love with him? He was overweight already...but, you still fell in love with him and married him.
 
My husband is overweight...was over weight when we got married. BUT... he is an honorable man. An honorable priesthood holder. He is loving, kind, willing to please, helpful, caring, loves me to pieces, loves our children, grand children, church going, holds a calling... I could go on and on...but, those are a few of the things I love about him.
 
His weight has nothing to do with him being all of the above and then some.His weight is HIS issue not mine. I look at it as an addiction to food. He loves to eat and I bet your husband does too. Trying to get on a controlled eating pattern is key to losing weight. All the high carbs, sugars, etc continue to make a person hungry. You are not going to change him... he has to change himself. But, pressuring him probably will just make him want another piece of cake or whatever.
 
I guess my point is... YOU dated him being overweight and married him while he was still overweight. You loved him then... but, now the weight becomes an issue? I believe there is something far more going on in the marriage.
 
Ask yourself, "Why now and what changed"?
 
Try to find that out before you jump to divorce.

Keep in mind you are on a forum and asked questions.  You are going to get a variety of answers. Some you will like and some you won't.
 
So please be respectful of all. Whether you like their response or not.