RachelleDrew

I also listen to my Mancow Podcast. My newest favorite obsession since it's no longer broadcasted in my area.

Take one thing at a time. It does you no good to worry about everything all at once. First things first, take your daughter to get tested for STD's and pregnancy. I don't care if she's on Birth Control and he wore a condom, kids lie and condoms break. Get her tested ASAP. Then sit down with her and have an open, frank conversation with her. Find out why she felt she had to lie in the first place. How long will your family be staying with you? Is there any way you could set a date for them to move out of the house? It doesn't have to be soon, but perhaps having a date will give you some peace of mind. As for your jobs, the best thing you can do is prepare. Pay your bills ahead of time, and get some money and food stored away. Start the scrimping and saving now, not after you've lost your jobs. Im sorry you are stressed out. The best way to deal with stress is to prioritize then handle things one at a time.

That's incredibly sad, I wish them all the best. Normally I don't advocate grandparents helping out when a teen gets into a spot like this, but in this situation I think it would be appropriate for them to help.

I can't say i'm surprised. Nor am I opposed to it.

I still have struggles with smoking sometimes, and I haven't gotten "in trouble" per se. Your Bishop should be aware of your struggles, so long as you don't make any big secret about it and you are honestly trying to quit I don't see you facing any action from the church. But they should be aware, it's much easier to quit when everybody knows about it and can keep you accountable. Quitting smoking is hard, most people trip up here and there. But a tip from someone who knows: having smokes readily available in your car makes it so much easier for you to smoke when stressed. I wouldn't keep them around you at all, that way your only option for smoking when you want to is bumming one off someone else. This cuts back on your smoking dramatically.

I don't like daycare period. But if I were to have my child going to daycare I would not have a problem with it so long as they were people I could trust. A lot of people mention the ties between males and sexual predators, but what about all the women who are physically abusing kids in their care? What about the woman in Chicago who threw a toddler to the floor, and he slowly died while at daycare? This is just as common as sexual abuse, so really the odds of something bad happening to your kids is the same no matter what gender the caretaker. I won't put my kids in a daycare anyway, I don't trust anyone with my kids. But i'm not less or more inclined to trust a man as opposed to a woman, i'm equally paranoid. If I didn't have a problem with daycares in general, then I would probably let a man watch my kid.

My mother is an investigator, US Marshall and has recently been admitted to an FBI training academy in DC. She will begin her training there this summer. I think she generally dispells all the stereotypes placed upon women in law enforcement. She has several commendations from the governor of Missouri for her outstanding police and investigative work. One of those commendations is for taking down a child rapist outside of a 7-11 in St. Louis. They had been looking for him for a VERY long time and finally got a viable lead on him. My mom is only about 130lbs tops, just a short little blonde thing and she tackled the rapist (who was over 200lbs), brought him to the ground and was able to keep him contained until her partners caught up with her. Her co-workers were stunned, and they still talk about it to this day. She is easily the best cop in the area, and most of her male co-workers will be the first to admit it. I think what really helps make my mom as good as she is would be the fact that she is held to the exact same standards as the men she works with. There are a lot of situations in which female cops are given less strenuous jobs or allowed lower test scores, but my mom is the only female in her force so she doesn't have that luxury. Can women make effective police officers? They certainly can, but they shouldn't be treated like dolls. Make them retain the same standard of physicality as the men, and the ones who are truly good enough will make it through. It's the same thing in the military, i've never understood why women are given the pass when it comes to certain activities. I had a boyfriend in the guard, and I used to run his PT with him every morning so he could stay up to par. After a few months of doing this, I was shocked to find out that the time for female's running was longer and they didn't do as many sit ups and push ups. I had been running the male's standard the entire time and while it was tough, it was do-able with some training. Why cry for equality if you ask for a stepladder once you get it?

I would be livid if I saw a rapist in a uniform. I think I can speak on behalf of most other victims of sexual abuse or assault and say that this is beyond stupid. I have no problem with this program under certain pretenses, but a multiple rapist doesn't deserve this chance. Sorry. Who is to say they couldn't pose as a "real" police officer and gain the trust of an adult or especially a child? They may not have any actual athourity, but if you give someone a uniform with even a slight resemblance to an officer's, a LOT of guillible people could be harmed. Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.

If you lived in the US the bishop in question would have already broken laws in his quest to "help" your kids. At this point he needs to back off. Go to your stake president as SOON as you can and let him be aware of what is going on. This is nuts.

Whoah....breathe. : D First of all, one of the many reasons one goes on a mission is to grow into a place of spiritual maturity. You have been deemed worthy to go on a mission, and that's good enough for now. You don't need to be PERFECT to go on a mission, you don't have to be this amazing missionary before you even get there. You can worry about being good at it later. When you get there When people make these comments, they aren't really expecting you to baptize 10 people your first week there. I can't imagine that anyone is just spectacular straight out of the gates. They say these things to you because they are trying to get you pumped up and make you feel good about yourself. Nobody is going to be dissapointed in you if you can't even find an investegator when you first get there, or if you get lonely or frustrated after a few months. They are just trying to be supportive of you, but a lot of times when friends and family are showing support, it can build pressure and stress. The church needs you for this mission, but you also need this mission. The church doesn't expect you to be flawless, and your family doesn't either. Just try and take everything one step at a time and do your BEST. Ultimately, the only expectations you need to meet are those of heavenly father, and so long as you give your best efforts and look to him for guidance then he's going to be pleased with your efforts throughout your mission. Chill. Relax. : ) Everything is going to be fine.

I was a very different person back then. Pageant queen, cheerleader. All that stuff. I was also incredibly militant about grades. Everything had to be perfect, all the time. Now, i'm more like "meh" about everything.

Um, YES. I want my kids to realize that life is tough. My son does a lot of crying over the fact that he isn't the center of the universe, and mommy isn't going to hold his hand and spank people who make him feel bad. Tough cookies. I've never watched "Cars". I can already tell I wouldn't like it.

^Miztr, I agree with your post. Something about the over-sensitivity of this generation makes me ill. I'm glad they did their best and were gracious losers and all that, but the outrage at the other team is unwarranted. I don't think anyone should be punished for doing better than someone else. I even dealt with something similar last semester in college, there was a huge gap in one of my classes between myself and the other students comprehension-wise. We were unfortunately graded on a curve, and you would not believe the guilt trips people (the professor included) would put on me for setting the curve too high. Winners shouldn't be made to feel bad about winning. You don't always get a gold star at the end of the day. I've lost many times in my life, i've gotten creamed more times than I can count. It was FANTASTIC for my growth. I always got better after I got the crap kicked out of me in sports or school or work.

I'm sorry, but if I was on a losing team and the girls whipping me dropped their game just to make me feel better I would be MORE embarrassed. I was taught that in EVERY SINGLE GAME you played til you were nearly dead on the court, regardless of how big the gap is. That's not rubbing someone's nose in it, it's doing what you are supposed to do.

I couldn't agree more. He needs to learn this stuff, and if you take over it may signal to him that you can't trust him or think he's stupid. Letting him have input says to him that even though he screwed up, you still think he can do it with some help. Good luck, I know this must be hard.

You need to sit down and create a financial plan for the next few years, and MAKE your husband sit down with you. Not only does he need to understand where your money needs to go until this debt is paid off, but perhaps he will gain a better understanding of the depth of the situation if he sees it laid out in front of him. Do you need to forgive him for his choices? Absolutely, but you need to make sure that he is no longer ignorant when it comes to your finances. Perhaps a bit of insight on why he did what he did...sometimes it makes guys feel bad when their wives take care of the financial issues in the home, so when they get a chance to take the reigns like they think they are supposed to.....it takes everything short of bankruptcy to make them want to give up that or to admit they made a mistake. He probably knew he was having some problems for a while, but didn't want to admit to you that he needed help with something he thought was his responsibility. Maybe having one person in charge of the money for a family works for some...but most couples need to work together on that. It might give him comfort to know that you still trust him to help with the money, but you will still be able to keep an eye on things. Oh, and you do need some counseling. It's pretty hard to let go of the feeling that you've been shortchanged by your spouse. Don't feel bad about asking for help in that area, if you need it you need it. And if your bishop or other members of the church think it's you and not him, don't worry about it. You don't owe them any sort of proof that you didn't screw this up.

Your son can still have all of the items you listed and eat healthily. The trick is to make them yourself. He likes french fries? No problem, but skip out on Mickey D's and instead just wash a potato and slice it into sticks or wedges. Spray some olive oil on a baking pan, and throw them in the oven. You don't even have to season them, but you can if you want to. It's JUST as easy as putting frozen fries in the oven, and it tastes just the same. But you don't have all the grease or preservatives on it. Chicken strips are the same. Instead of buying frozen ones, cut up strips of chicken breast and throw them in some flour and seasoning. Stick them in the oven and bake them. I wouldn't suggest using white flour because there are so many healthy alternatives, but even WITH the white flour it's ten times better for your son than the flash-fried frozen crap you buy at the grocer. I thought I saw pop on your list too....if he HAS to have soda then there are tons of alternatives that are caffeine and sugar free. Fanta has new soda out now that doesn't have any sugar or caffeine and it's really good! Seriously, make your own food. Sure there are some foods that will never make it into a Weight Watcher's cookbook no matter what you do, but ANYTHING you make at home is going to be better for you than food from the freezers in Wal Mart because you can alter it to fit your nutritional needs.

I had In N Out burger ONCE. I will never forget that beautiful day, it's up there with my wedding and the birth of my son.

I'm going to say right up front that this is long an complicated. I am just at a loss and don't know how to deal with this issue. There is a girl who has been a problem for some time now. Up until this point i've ignored it, but recently her efforts are becoming more and more tenacious which leaves me feeling nervous about her future intentions. This started back in high school, when she was a grade below me. I was not cruel to her, in fact I barely spoke to her as I didn't know her. I will admit that in high school I was obsessed with social status and quite mean to many people, but she was not one of them. At one point she created a planned assault on the school and a "hit list" of sorts that was found by our school's administration. My name was on it, which confused me until it was revealed that she put every athlete and cheerleader on the "hit list" regardless of how they had treated her. Because of this I chose to ignore the situation as it was plain to me that she was just very disturbed and a confrontation with her would only end badly. I left the situation alone and she was expelled from our school. She enrolled at a school nearby and I didn't hear about her again for around 8 years. While she attended her new school, she met and dated a guy that she physically and mentally abused. She cut him off from his family, pretended to be pregnant multiple times to keep him around, and insulted his religious beliefs constantly. She even burned his leather-bound quad because it had been given to him by an ex girlfriend and she was jealous. His family became tired of the situation and more or less washed their hands of him. He eventually ended it, moved on to meet, date and marry me. She never got over it and has been positively psychotic ever since. She made a point to call his friends and family and tell them I had sexually transmitted diseases and that I was a satanist. This is hilarious since I was an investigator when I met him, and certainly don't have any STD's. She then one day began coming to the branch we were attending out of the blue, then took the branch president aside after meetings to spread lies about me in an effort to keep me from being baptized. It worked, and my baptism was constantly pushed back because I had to re-interview several times due to the lies she was telling. A lot more transpired after that, including her nearly getting me fired from my job. Which eventually led to me hunting her down and demanding that she recant her lies publicly or else I would beat her senseless. She began crying, then immediately backed down and asked that we put everything behind us. I agreed and we chose to ignore each other. I didn't see her again for another year. Now it is nearly 2009 and I am attending a new ward about an hour away from where everything happened and preparing to begin my family history work. My bishop has been helping me get everything together and is really excited to help me with my first visit to the temple ever. I had a meeting with him a few days ago to discuss my temporary recommend so I could enter the temple to get my family baptized. I was so excited to go until I got into his office. He looked at me with such concern and I knew something was up. He cut to the chase and told me that a person in the ward had come to him with some concerns about my drug use and wanted to make sure that I understood the word of wisdom before I was a proxy for my family members. I told him that this person was absolutely mistaken and that I had not used any type of substance since the day I was baptized that would keep me from the temple. The bishop seemed unconvinced, and told me that he would have to pray about it and have further discussions with me before letting me go to the temple. He told me that so long as the information was not correct I had nothing to worry about. But of course you still worry. I went home to my husband and cried, and we racked our brains trying to figure out why (and who) would say such things. I mean, we barely know anyone in our ward so even if I WAS using drugs how on earth would they know anyway? Today before sacrament we sat down in our usual spots and settled into the seats. Out of the corner of my eye I saw HER with the missionaries chatting. I got my husband's attention and he saw her too. He became so distraught it was all he could do not to run out of the room. Later on in the day, I asked a sister about her, and apparently she came to the ward last week (while we were gone on vacation) and introduced herself. During the past year she joined the church, and just recently moved to the area. She told the sister that she was my "best friend" in high school, and was asking lots of questions about our son. The entire thing makes me incredibly on edge. I just got off the phone with the bishop and begged him to make her leave. This entire thing....it makes me nervous. I am certain she is the one who went to my bishop about "drug use", but of course he cannot tell me. I told him that her intentions for joining the church were malicious. He listened, but told me that I couldn't be sure of her intent and that they couldn't turn someone away like that. I am at a loss, my husband is furious and we are scared for our son since she's taken an interest in him for whatever reason. I've ignored her, i've reasoned with her, i've threatened her. Nothing i've done has made her leave us alone for good. I'm afraid she may be planning to hurt us somehow. What on earth can I do?

I'm wondering what kids are doing with all their money that they can't sock away a couple hundred bucks a month. I was making a thousand dollars a month at sixteen working at McDonald's. I spent some money on car insurance, gas and my cell phone bill. Occasionally went shopping, but I usually had about five hundred dollars at the end of each month that I could put in savings. Same applied with college, I was making three thousand a month working at a different McDonald's my first year of college. I paid all of my own bills, ate out several times a week and went to events with friends. Even had enough to buy a new car. Still I had money to save back. What in the heck are kids buying anymore that seems so impossible to save for a mission? It seems like I was constantly buying stuff back then, but I still had money to save. Too bad I wasn't a member at the time. I think some people will find any reason they can find to excuse themselves from a mission. When really the only excuse they need is "i'm not mature enough for it right now". That answer would go over a LOT better than "leik omg hows i appposed to afford dis?!?!?"

I'm so sorry about the agony you are going through. I honestly want to extend my prayers towards you, you've got a very tough road ahead of you. Let me be very clear that your urges are not what will prevent you from eternal life. You didn't choose to feel this way, and there may very well be little you can do to completely diminish it. With that being said, there are homosexuals within the church who are righteous, Christlike and exemplary members. The difference lies in the choices that are made in the midst of these urges. You seriously are not alone, nor are you doomed to a life of misery. I'm so sorry about the state of your marriage, there are homosexuals who can maintain a celestial marriage, some can not. Your only choice may very well be celibacy, perhaps it is not. That is a choice that you have to make with the help of heavenly father, nobody else can tell you what will be the easiest path. On one hand, you may feel deception within a straight marriage even if your spouse knows. The celibacy may leave you feeling alone. I'm not going to sugar coat it, neither choice is an easy one to make. You have to decide which path will create a strong relationship with the lord that transcends this earth. The biggest step to take towards relief is honesty. There is no way you can make it without being HONEST with your friends, family and your family within the church. Some will reject you, others will reach out to help you. You want the latter to understand the fullness of your situation so that they can give you assistance. The celestial kingdom is NOT out of reach for you. Happiness and peace on this earth is NOT out of reach either. Don't torture yourself, HELP yourself. You deserve the type of happiness that only the lord can provide. I've been where you are, to a lesser degree. While I can't relate to the enormous gravity of your situation, I can tell you that it's possible to live the way father intended you to live, and still remain happy and fulfilled. There are online communities who cater to your type of situation and can provide support. Maybe you should look into the Heart to Heart forums? If TomK sees this thread maybe he can let me know if there is a place for you to find comfort there. : ) Please don't give up hope. You are worth so much more than a life of guilt and unhappiness. : )

Wow, i'm sorry you guys have to deal with the negative comments. I rarely have anyone say anything negative to me, but come to think about it the only negative comments i've received are from fellow members. So I think it's probably correct to say that there is a lack of knowledge within the church. It feels strange to say that I have it "easier" because my disorder is so bad, but it's true in a way. When you are in and out of hospitals because you are hearing and seeing things that aren't there, people tend to believe you a little easier. : D You all have very difficult problems to face having MI, but it's not always easy for others to see. Some people are ignorant because they choose to be. Inform who you can about your disorder, but don't waste your time trying to teach someone who doesn't care to be taught.

I think that they sort of do in the areas that aren't predominately Mormon. Where I live (central Illinois) the LDS community seems very different than the one in Idaho or Utah. The Mormons in my ward are far more mainstream than the ones living in largely LDS communities. I know that on the occasion we have families from SLC stay in our area while on their way to Nauvoo, and it's kind of a culture shock for them. We must seem really secular to them, and they seem kind of out-of-touch to us. We had a group of college-aged sisters from SLC come stay with some of our wardies a couple of weeks ago.....wow. They were something else. Lol. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a poor treatment of those who are deemed "too Mormon".

I don't think it's a waste of a vote if you truly believed in the principles and values of the person you wrote in.

Lucky for me I didn't feel like I was casting my vote for the lesser of two evils this year, but casting my ballot for someone I actually trusted and believed in. I didn't have to compromise my beliefs to cast my ballot. I'm sorry you felt you had to.