Connie Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Renee, who uses hearing aids, was reading with her son Ruben. Ruben is five years old now and learning to read. He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, "Look, Mama! It's a frickin' elephant!" Renee: Deep breath ... "What did you call it?" Ruben: "It's a frickin' elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!" Renee looks at the caption, and sure enough it says: "A f r i c a n Elephant." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Funny as they are what is with all the hearing impaired jokes?because they have a surprising different point of view sometimes. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Funny as they are what is with all the hearing impaired jokes?Been teaching myself some sign language. These are some of the jokes i found on one of the websites i use. This isn't even half of them, just the ones i personally found the most humorous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 One more. No idea where he got this one, but it sounds so Mormon. A female missionary who worked with Deaf returned home. She gave her "missionary report" to the congregation. In the audience were some of the male missionaries she knew from her mission. The guy missionaries were called Elders. These Elders were deaf. Because she worked somewhat with the deaf elders and learned some sign language on her mission she decided to sign part of her talk. She thought she had signed "I really loved 'working' with the Deaf Elders." The former Elders in the audience burst out laughing She was embarrassed a bit but finished her talk--then went down to the elders to confront them as to why they laughed. They explained the sign she used was similar to work but actually meant "make out" (as in necking). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 I am not discouraging you. I was just wondering. I still think they are funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardell89104 Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) one more. No idea where he got this one, but it sounds so mormon.A female missionary who worked with deaf returned home. She gave her "missionary report" to the congregation. In the audience were some of the male missionaries she knew from her mission. The guy missionaries were called elders. These elders were deaf. Because she worked somewhat with the deaf elders and learned some sign language on her mission she decided to sign part of her talk. She thought she had signed "i really loved 'working' with the deaf elders." the former elders in the audience burst out laughing she was embarrassed a bit but finished her talk--then went down to the elders to confront them as to why they laughed. They explained the sign she used was similar to work but actually meant "make out" (as in necking). rotflmbo Edited November 12, 2011 by pam Making it more appropriate for lds.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 "Oh, boy! I'm glad you're here," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Why?" she asked. "Because now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us." "What trick?" "Well, he told Mommy that if you came to visit, he would climb the walls." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 Once upon a time there was a cowboy who owned a very expensive pair of brand new shoes, of which which he was extremely proud. One day, when he was out out on the prairie, the cowboy came upon a river. He took off his shoes, left them on the bank, and stepped into the water to bathe his sore feet. While he was in the water, a bobcat arrived. It saw the cowboy's shoes, grabbed them in its mouth and ran off with them. The cowboy pulled out his revolver and fired all six rounds at the retreating animal, but being a pathetic shot (for a cowboy) he missed. Nevertheless, the noise startled the bobcat enough to make it drop the shoes, and the cowboy retrieved them. Sadly though, the once-pristine footware had been badly chewed, and no longer looked so smart. The cowboy told the story to everyone he met - at the ranch, in the saloon, even at church - saying how one day he would get his revenge. A few weeks later he was walking through the town, when he spotted the same bobcat slinking between the jailhouse and ther saloon. In a rage of fury he pulled out his six-shooter and fired, but once again he missed miserably. As he stood there helpless, watching the animal dissappear into the distance, a little old lady walked up to him. "Pardon me boy," she said. "Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 ...I don't get it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klein_Helmer Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 Who among you would like to hear some of Your Dear Helmer's original, reptile themed comedy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 ...I don't get it...I told it to my wife. She got it, but she didn't think it was funny. Oh well....:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 I told it to my wife. She got it, but she didn't think it was funny. Oh well....:)I know it's a pun, and the pun is "Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?" The best I can come up with is, "Is that the Chatanooga Choo-Choo?" If that's not it, then I'm just not bright enough to get it. Can you give me a hint? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 ...I don't get it... That's okay. I didn't get it either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volgadon Posted March 3, 2012 Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 Who among you would like to hear some of Your Dear Helmer's original, reptile themed comedy?No thanks, I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer-thin with a steak tenderizer and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted March 3, 2012 Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) I know it's a pun, and the pun is "Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?" The best I can come up with is, "Is that the Chatanooga Choo-Choo?" If that's not it, then I'm just not bright enough to get it. Can you give me a hint?~~Won't you choo choo me home?~~(I've never claimed to have a sophisticated sense of humour!) Edited March 3, 2012 by Jamie123 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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