Personal Standards - Where do you draw the line?

[SkyWishes]

I am 20 years old and live a lone so I don't really have many people to bounce ideas about standards off (a part from my chihuahua and cat but they seem so cool with everything even my bad hair on a morning)!. I wonder where we draw the line? Of course we have the scirputres to guide us but we live in a world with so many choices. What is not "good"? I would probably say things that make us feel bad but some times it can be hard to judge what is making us feel bad. As my Sunday School teacher said once, it's not black and white, Satan likes to use all the shades of grey. We all have our prefrences and free agency but I wonder where other saints of the world draw the line? (I havn't done this to point fingers at people and see whos the golden girl or boy on here)! After all that would be me (joke) ! I am just interested to see what personal standards people have! Here are some of mine:

I don't buy meat in the supermarket (though strictly speaking I am not a vegetarian as I eat it in restraunts or other peoples houses)

I don't watch films 15 and 18 rating

I don't buy celebraty magazines

No TV or radio on Sundays

My family drew the line at watching soaps on TV. We also drew the line at how long each of us could spend at the computer.

I know a family who drew the line at buying their boys, plastic swords/guns weapons as children, I thought that was a good one to have.

So what are yours?!

Edited October 13, 2008 by SkyWishes

[Hemidakota]

Live like a missionary and be a daily influencer.

[BenRaines]

I buy real guns and then teach my children how to respect them and use them.

SkyWishes, I would say that I am the model kid. I never caused my parents one shred of worry. I had a curfew and always was at home on time. If I was running late, by thirty minutes, I stopped and found a pay phone and called to let them know if if early enough to ask permission to be a little late. Never told no.

Have never had alcohol, other than in medication, never smoked, no coffee. Graduated high school, went on a mission, came home went to college, met a girl there and married in Manti temple. Never divorced, four adult children. Can't control how they live their lives but they have all been to the temple, two served missions.

Not perfect by any means but do my best every day to be worthy of the many blessings I have recieved in my life and continue to receive.

Ben Raines

[NeuroTypical]

I am just interested to see what personal standards people have!

Our big one is: No selfishness when it harms someone.

LM

[candyprpl]

This was passed down from my mother and I to my children and I still try to live it -- fall short many times but still glad to have my mother's voice in my head, LOL!

IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT SOMEONE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

I could name some others, but that one is the biggest one and it's one that will take you a long way.

[checkerboy]

I draw the line at posting standards so I won't look self-righteous.

[BenRaines]

I have no problem looking righteous.

Ben Raines

[Palerider]

We always taught our kids that our home is our "Temple"....we need to be carefull how we talk and treat each other while in our home. Our home is dedicated and if there is any yelling it should be done only if there is a fire. We need to be selective as to what we watch and listen to while in our home. We want the spirit to reside here.

I did not say we were perfect, but we need guidlines to live by and this was one way we tried to live. My kids are all older now and 2 are married and the last 2 here will both transfer to different colleges for this next year. It wasn't easy at times...but we tried our best.:)

[WANDERER]

Sky I get what you are saying...living alone means you have to set your personal standards and no one is there to monitor. Drawing that line can sometimes leave you confused about the different shades of grey. I think about it this way: if it lifts the bar on personal standards then great...if it lowers the bar then it's not great....I sometimes assess things wrongly...but that's okay...it's all a part of learning. Can I bridge the difference in terms of how much I am working towards that standard and celebrate the steps towards it? It's probably better to focus on the positive rather than the negative cause what you give time to and dwell on is essentially what you value and for overall happiness looking up instead of down works for me. Comparison has to do with looking back on goals and seeing achievements: hey if I want to feel bad or good I can compare myself to others but that is effectively cheating...I know whether I'm heading in the direction I should be heading in.

[deseretgov]

I don't mean to be offensive by any of this but:

I don't buy meat in the supermarket (though strictly speaking I am not a vegetarian as I eat it in restraunts or other peoples houses)

What's wrong with buying meat in a supermarket? I've never heard anything saying this is a bad thing.

I don't watch films 15 and 18 rating

What type of rating system is this?

I don't buy celebraty magazines

I'd never do this. Not because I'm afraid of seeing some nude celeb or somthing like that. But simply because...They're Full of Crap!

No TV or radio on Sundays

I don't listen to the radio in the car on sunday. I only ever listen to the radio in the car. But the TV has been known to be on on sunday.

My family drew the line at watching soaps on TV.

I wouldn't watch these even if they weren't all about sex. They're Crap!

We also drew the line at how long each of us could spend at the computer.

I'll probably do this for my children when I have them. I'm on my laptop often, but my wife usually restricts my time on it.

I know a family who drew the line at buying their boys, plastic swords/guns weapons as children, I thought that was a good one to have.

I agree with BenRaines(kudos to you too Ben). I buy real guns and I'll teach my children how to use them properly. My wife loves guns too. For our dates we go out shooting.

[Misshalfway]

I am not a golden child and don't recall ever wanting to be one. But I am good and have lived a good life and a worthy life. I have made my mistakes and learned from them and have tried to align my choices to church standards.

I think that clean living is what the standards of the church point to. It's all about worthiness so we can, amongst other things, have the Spirit of the Lord to be with us and guide us thru the "gray".

Being good or being righteous is a hard thing to judge. There is that whole whited sepulcur NT thing to consider. Real righteousness is about what changes happen in the very core of who we are. And if you are like me, you need time and experience for those changes to occur.

I worry a little when I hear some of your "line drawing". Some of your list seems logical. Some seems extreme. Not that such choices wouldn't be the right thing for YOU. Just that I think it is important to maintain balance. It is possible to become so straight you are crooked. And it is possible for one to make a decision for themselves, and then mistakenly legislate that decision for everyone. For instance, do you view people who do buy meat at the store as unworthy? For myself, I don't recall ever hearing such a dictate from the pulpit and wonder why such a decision on your part would be deemed as a moral one.

Anyway, Joseph Smith said to "teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." This is why I try to live a principle centered life. How those principles are manifest WILL vary from person to person. And I believe that such individual expression is absolutely ok with the Lord. I think it is part of the beauty of agency and individuality as the Lord allows us exploration and the ability to meet individual needs.

Here are some of my lines. I don't drink alcohol or tabacco. I don't break the law of chastity. I keep my thoughts clean and my viewing material clean. And I don't worry about it much.....as such are not temptations for me.

Edited October 14, 2008 by Misshalfway

[applepansy]

I am 20 years old and live a lone so I don't really have many people to bounce ideas about standards off (a part from my chihuahua and cat but they seem so cool with everything even my bad hair on a morning)!. I wonder where we draw the line? Of course we have the scirputres to guide us but we live in a world with so many choices. What is not "good"? I would probably say things that make us feel bad but some times it can be hard to judge what is making us feel bad. As my Sunday School teacher said once, it's not black and white, Satan likes to use all the shades of grey. We all have our prefrences and free agency but I wonder where other saints of the world draw the line? (I havn't done this to point fingers at people and see whos the golden girl or boy on here)! After all that would be me (joke) ! I am just interested to see what personal standards people have! Here are some of mine:

So what are yours?!

I follow the counsel in the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet.

applepansy

[ztodd]

Do what you feel the Spirit is telling you is right, and see how close you can come to God rather than how close you can come to the line. Ask yourself how you can be even more valiant, rather than how bad you can be and still repent, or even how good you "have" to be.

Check out "The Three-Attitudes" by John BytheWay - DeseretBook.com - Mormon Life

Good talk.

I understand the point that was made though about being careful not to look beyond the mark and become prideful or self-righteous. In that sense you need to be careful that while you strive to be zealously righteous that you also maintain humility and never judge other unrighteously.

[Winnie G]

Personal Standards - Where do you draw the line?

I do not watch R rated movies I will walk out some times in Canada they will call a US R rated Movie 14A. I try to look it up before I go but if one slips in I walk out.

I wear and keep my promises in the Temple

I use Sundays to write loved ones do genealogy work

TV on Sundays must be uplifting not just anything on.

We have the single sisters in our ward over for meals, (they are the ones that are always left out)

I drink caffeine free diet pop.

I do my best to keep a clean mouth and ask others to do the same by letting them know I don't care to hear it, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth"?

I find people will clean up their acts once they know its been brought to their attention.

I do not go for Pin ups of women in lockers posters that degrade women or magazines or books brought in to the work place that are debasing cheapening, demeaning, derogatory, disgraceful, downgrading, humiliating, lowering of the sexes.

A Male Co worker thought it was funny to bring Modona's coffee table book to work, he brought it out of his locker at morning coffee break. I stood up held my ground and told him to remove the book from the building or I bring charges ageist him. Not only was the book placed in his car but the officer of the day said the locker room needed cleaning also. He not find much to speck of but the message was received.

I was asked this Thanksgiving weekend about the whole gay right to marry and how my church stood on it, any sex out side of marriage was a sin and marriage was between a man and a women. I did not find it hard to answer even with a gay guest sitting at the table. He asked were he would stand? I told him the same place any unmarried person would be having sex out side of marriage. You can be Mormon and gay but you must not be a practicing homosexual. He seemed to understand that and the subjet changed. I was told I handled that very well. I had pratice I told my son in-law I have had gay friends.

Edited October 17, 2008 by Winnie G

[Elgama]

I don't have many rigid lines - we have a different rating system here for movies and personally I find some 18s are OK to watch whereas there are some PGs I won't go anywhere near. I rely on reviews and friends that have seen the movie to make that decision.

I am temple worthy and that is what is important to me - I may pick an area of my life to improve, and I consider myself worthy if I improve between recommend interviews.

I am vegetarian during the summer since I do really object to the way animals are transported but right now I am pregnant and my body is demanding meat,,

My clothing and attire is good.

but I also love murder shows and at present am not ready to give them up.

My priorities are reading scriptures, praying and FHE

-Charley

[Guest SisterofJared]

I DO understand the bit about not buying meat at the store.... I have watched some films of animals in our food chain, and had several family members working at a chicken processing plant a few years back.... I heard the stories they told. And then I would go to the temple and see the story of creation, how God created the animals that they might have joy in their posterity. And my heart broke when wondering how a chicken is to have joy in it's posterity when being raised in a 14 inch square box, pumping out eggs, day after day, week after week, month after month. I've seen the brutality practiced towards the pigs, the cows.... there is no joy in their posterity. An animal raised on a real farm, free range, or a wild animal at least has the opportunity to experience some joy in life, and if there is a time, as the WoW says, when there is family, or extreme cold, then it is an appropriate time to use them for food. But the supermarket food chain meat is, IMO, ungodly and wrong.

Some standards we have taught our family are to be courteous and respectful.... if I was driving with one of my kids and we picked up an adult, the child would always get in the back seat. If company comes to my house to stay, I give them my bed. I will sleep on the floor. If I get a snack... I offer some to everyone. My son or any younger person will immedately offer his seat to someone of an older generation. To me these are common, ordinary things to do, but I see many people who do not treat others with respect. I have a sister who makes me amazed that we grew up in the same home.... she will put her 9 year old in the front seat and her mother in the back seat, if her mother in law is sitting in my sister's favorite chair, she will tell her mil to get up and give her "her" chair! She actually kicked her mil out of the chair! Not only will she not offer her bed to a guest, but once when I was there for her son's wedding, she actually went to the laundry basket smelling the sheets, looking for one to give me to sleep with! Do not know where the girl came from! No courtesy or respect. I think courtesy and respect are vital, and yes, people DO earn a certain measure of respect just because they have lived longer than you, in almost all cases. Treat your elders with some respect!

Another standard we have is "one for all, all for one." We are tight in our family and all agree that we are each other's best friend... and other friends are nice..... but as long as you have family, you've got all you really need. We will give, lend, make, do... whatever we can for each other, and have many things in common... the traveling sewing machine, cars that often change owners amidst the family... generally without an exchange of money. We are pretty generous with each other, as our circumstances allow.

One standard we set evolving around Christmas is that we don't believe in Santa Claus. Our children were taught that Santa is a game that all of us can play, we let them help us play Santa while growing up, and we made Christmas about Christ, and we have been excited to see them doing the same with our grandchildren. We have found, and our children found, that a holiday filled with good news about the birth of a savior, filled with good cheer and opportunities to do good and bless others, to make surprise visits and give gifts to all we love and even bless some strangers and have a heart full of rejoicing is far more magical than a fat man in a red suit asking kids what they want for Christmas. Our children never wrote letters to Santa and our grandkids aren't either. Some of you may feel that this is crazy and deprives the kids of the joy of Christmas, but I testify that we find much joy in the Christmas season, more so by ignoring the jolly fake fat man, and focusing on what is real. That is one family standard I hope all the kids continue to embrace.. Some of my kids are not married yet, and when they marry, their spouses will have imput on the topic.

Okay... enough standards for now. This is a fun thread... I've enjoyed reading all your answers.

Sister of Jared

Edited October 17, 2008 by SisterofJared
fix typo

[ElderBigDawg]

I do not watch R rated movies

I mostly avoid rated R movies. They're rated R for a reason. I've seen some that really mess with my mind afterward, like Final Destination. Luckily, newer movies here in the U.S. have subtitled reasons behind the rating if you look at the back of the case. For example: "Rated R for drug use and sexual content."

However, there are two rated R movies that I can't let go of, and watch every once in a while: The Patriot, and The Last Samurai. Both are beautiful movies of much historic significance, and are only rated R because of some violent battle scenes.

[kona0197]

I've been staying away from rated R movies lately.

[Palerider]

I've been staying away from rated R movies lately.

thats great to hear....good job.....we have stayed away from R rated movies ....we don't watch them at all.

[Moksha]

I buy real guns and then teach my children how to respect them and use them.

I try to teach my daughter not to push the detonation button on that atomic..................................................(end of transmission)

[Hemidakota]

Instead of ratings, we should look at the contents.

[bcguy]

I dont watch soaps. I hate them why? It reminds me that I am being lazy and not working on something during the day.

I am getting sick and more sick of the low quality tv programming every day. Sick of my wife watching rummer/star tv programs like ET or other slimmy crap.

Discovery and some times CNN are the only stuff I watch.

I have no ruled out watching tv on sundays. Some days I just want to bag and veg in front of the tv.

I will eat any meat. I dont restrict it but I also dont go crazy and eat it all the time. My addiction is milk and cookies. Wife nags me about it all the time.

I grew up in a familly full of playboy magazines. Mormon was not even something we knew about. So cannot blame me there. I dont buy those magazines wife would flip and I have never had the temptation to do so.

lastly, Im not perfect but I am not going to make my self a imprisoned basket case like some other members do.

If you do not do drugs, gangs, criminal activity, infidelity and are generally a good citizen then you are doing okay Two yeears ago I worked at a police station for seven months so that shows how I stand with society :)