Fed up of yo-yoing

[LolaBella]

When I joined this site I said I was inactive, which I was. Since that point I've been bouncing back and forth to church and I'm getting really tired of it. What happens is this:

I go to church, feel like I get nothing from it, feel I don't or can't believe in some aspects so I stop going. Weeks go by and I realise I miss church. I go back. I feel nothing and get fed up with it again. And so it goes on. I am just getting to the point where I need to make up my mind what I am going to do because its killing my dh my indecision all the time. Sometimes I go to church and will feel something like maybe the spirit, and think, this is it, but when I leave it goes as if it was never there and I can't seem to recapture it. Then I doubt it was ever there in the first place.

I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation. I'm sure some people will say this is Apathy and warn me of the dangers, as given in a recentt GC talk. Even if it is, How can I overcome it? I absolutely dread Sundays as I dont know what they will hold-do I go, do I stay, what to do? I'd appreciate some thoughts thanks x x

[chaosgoddess]

Pray alot, before and after. Are you asking yourself "What can I take TO my meetings instead of what I get from them"? That usually makes a big difference to me. Remember your blessings and think of ways you can bless others. Hang in there!

[a-train]

Don't let Sacrament Meeting be your Church experience. Make personal scripture study, prayer, fasting, tithing, and service be your experience.

-a-train

[skylercollins]

Maybe you could go to your Bishop and ask for a calling? That should make Sundays a little more interesting.

[Moksha]

Lola, could you describe more precisely what you get fed up with each time?

[Hemidakota]

When I joined this site I said I was inactive, which I was. Since that point I've been bouncing back and forth to church and I'm getting really tired of it. What happens is this:

I go to church, feel like I get nothing from it, feel I don't or can't believe in some aspects so I stop going. Weeks go by and I realise I miss church. I go back. I feel nothing and get fed up with it again. And so it goes on. I am just getting to the point where I need to make up my mind what I am going to do because its killing my dh my indecision all the time. Sometimes I go to church and will feel something like maybe the spirit, and think, this is it, but when I leave it goes as if it was never there and I can't seem to recapture it. Then I doubt it was ever there in the first place.

I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation. I'm sure some people will say this is Apathy and warn me of the dangers, as given in a recentt GC talk. Even if it is, How can I overcome it? I absolutely dread Sundays as I dont know what they will hold-do I go, do I stay, what to do? I'd appreciate some thoughts thanks x x

You need to look in the mirror and ask, WHO IS IN-CHARGE within?

[Palerider]

attend church and get involved in something....volunter to do something or help out in some way....

[LolaBella]

Lola, could you describe more precisely what you get fed up with each time?

I don't know. I get tired of hearing the same old things. I get fed up of hearing people thinking they are better than others, and judging people. I get fed up of the people. I know it shouldn't be about that but it does afffect how u feel when u are there. Some good answers tho, has goven me a lot to think about.

[Maya]

ASK to work in the primary.. maybe with the smallest kids 1-8... forget yourself.. serve and you will find the joy from it. It may take a few years, but if you have some other reason to go not just to go for yourself you might find the spirit faster. If you feel they need you, and I am sure they do need you... it will make it easier even if you could nto get that much from the meetings these days...

I tell you a secret.... maybe there is not really anything for you in the meettings... sometimes the congrigations are not that spiritual, maybe the thing is not happening not because of you, but the others... dont give up, you`ll get there eventually!

[Maya]

Uh .. I did not read this thread first... looks liek almost everybody is giving you the same advice...

[jolee65]

Everyone seems better then everyone else and the talks get less interesting with every Sunday Service, that does seem to be a discouraging situation, What is your testemony on the church?

if thats the problem then you need to write down the things that concern you, read the Book of Mormon, Pray even fast and ask if these things are true, name them in your prayers if your faith is in tact then Heavenly Father will answer you.

Members can appear annoying at times but thats just a stong testemony rapped up in pridefullness dont let it get to you.

[richlittell]

I have been where you are before (sorta'). I don't know your situation, but for me, it was not really church or the people that were the problem, it was things in my own life that was the problem.

Just keep going, if you drop out, your life will only get darker and darker (maybe not at first, at first you'll feel relieved if you stop, but that won't last forever). Darkness is an awful state to be in-- I've been there -- I know.

Nevertheless, you are free to choose.

p.s.

Sometimes people aren't trying to be "better" than other people, they have their own struggles too, but when you are asked to give a talk or teach a lesson, what is one supposed to do? Talk about all the darkness in their lives? Tell about how the gospel sucks? I don't think so. True, there are a few who may be self-righteous, but most really are just trying to do their best as they think is expected of them by Heavenly Father on His Sabbath day.

[Moksha]

Uh .. I did not read this thread first... looks liek almost everybody is giving you the same advice...

An example of great minds thinking alike, no doubt.

[Moksha]

If I dwelt on everyone else's foibles, I would never have time to work on my own foibles.

[kona0197]

I go to church, feel like I get nothing from it, feel I don't or can't believe in some aspects so I stop going. Weeks go by and I realise I miss church. I go back. I feel nothing and get fed up with it again. And so it goes on.

Welcome to my world except in my world I get yelled at for being a investigator for so long.

[countrygirl66]

When I joined this site I said I was inactive, which I was. Since that point I've been bouncing back and forth to church and I'm getting really tired of it. What happens is this:

I go to church, feel like I get nothing from it, feel I don't or can't believe in some aspects so I stop going. Weeks go by and I realise I miss church. I go back. I feel nothing and get fed up with it again. And so it goes on. I am just getting to the point where I need to make up my mind what I am going to do because its killing my dh my indecision all the time. Sometimes I go to church and will feel something like maybe the spirit, and think, this is it, but when I leave it goes as if it was never there and I can't seem to recapture it. Then I doubt it was ever there in the first place.

I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation. I'm sure some people will say this is Apathy and warn me of the dangers, as given in a recentt GC talk. Even if it is, How can I overcome it? I absolutely dread Sundays as I dont know what they will hold-do I go, do I stay, what to do? I'd appreciate some thoughts thanks x x

I hope you keep going. I think that every member brings something uneaque (spelling sorry) to the ward their in. I have gotten to know some wonderful people from my church experiences. They have helped me to grow in ways that only they could have. It may be that just sitting through meetings is difficult. (that is me) I find for me that when I allow myself to feel heavenly fathers spirit, I am able to see past the facade that many put on at church. Sometimes those that are trying to put on their best face are struggling the most. Good luck and I hope things get better for you. Something that helps me is to go to church with the thought of help me know who I can reach out to today. It is amazing that I will be there and see someone I don't know all that well and feel inspired to talk to them. To tell them how cute I think their kids are. Even just to tell them that i am glad they are there that day. It helps me to feel the spirit more at church.

[WANDERER]

I'll break it up into sections:

The sermons are boring: jot them down and then journal them throughout the week..add to them, build on them..stretch them beyond what you've been given...grow from them. Maybe they're a springboard of a sort. I don't like having my time wasted...so when faced with what appears to be a waste of time it helps my frustration level to kind of think of ways to make it productive. I agree that teaching the little ones is good for this...they ask questions...you learn a lot by teaching others and telling them what you know (and what you don't know you have to work on).

The people are judgemental: For whatever reason I think people have varying levels of happiness or comfort within conflict situations...what rocks your boat may just be a ripple for others and vice versa. People do what they need to do...we're all at different stages of working things out. When things go wrong some think aloud and look for group support, discussion and agreement; some bottle it up and analyse it; some switch off completely; some try to distance the problem through fixing blame or establishing righteousness; some try to fix things .... they're all coping strategies. It may not be how you would deal with it...but you can only control your reaction to things not their reaction. Taking their reaction to things on board and getting worked up about... it is contagious, but only if you let it be. Just be you.

The last one I wonder if I should leave alone. I kind of fluctuate a lot on the belief scale too at the moment. I don't think varying belief and unbelief is a bad state to be in...I like to think of it as a possible growth moment or a learning curve...when you believe you know everything as either true or untrue that's when you've flatlined. Yes I know in testimonies people say I know that the church is true...but hopefully it's becoming more true or leading to more truth...this is called progression right.

[talisyn]

I went to church last Sunday with blue hair so you see, if you don't go you might miss something like that

Seriously though, I understand what you're talking about. But you need to make going to church a priority not because you miss it, but because it is required of you in order for you to progress. Do you want to stay in this 'blah' state forever until you lose that last little spark of divinity in you that so desperately needs to be nourished? You are a child of the living God, with all the rights and responsibilities that go with it. Stand up tall, shoulders back, and walk into church next Sunday with all the confidence of someone who is there because she is meant to be there. And know that I will be there too, blue hair and all.

Edited December 1, 2008 by talisyn
proper spelling is for the unimaginative

[Palerider]

If I dwelt on everyone else's foibles, I would never have time to work on my own foibles.

hey hey hey.....I might resemble that remark....:D

[talisyn]

Welcome to my world except in my world I get yelled at for being a investigator for so long.

I apologize for laughing, the incongruity of someone yelling at an investigator for attending church startled me.

[pam]

Welcome to my world except in my world I get yelled at for being a investigator for so long.

Plllleeeeassseee...again we know why you haven't joined the Church. Don't even pretend to be insulted at "supposedly" being yelled at. Your reasoning for not joining the Church is your choice.

Edited December 2, 2008 by pam

[WANDERER]

Hey, I believe Kona that being an investigator for so long leads to feeling pressured and may involve feeling pressure from well-meaning people.....don't know if people would feel strongly enough about it to scold him...oh okay I'll stop being pointy. Though I don't think yelling at investigators is anywhere near the norm. I'm not LDS and I'm on an LDS forum...and I've been here a while LOL : )

Sometimes people feel that they don't have a choice or can't...that's a terrible feeling...we've all been there at some time in our lives.

[applepansy]

Gene R Cook uses an anaology in his talk "teaching with the spirit" about a young man getting up to talk and two men are in the audience. One is praying "Heavenly Father can't the bishop find somebody more interesting to talk. This is a waste of time." The other is praying "Heavenly Father please bless this young man and give him the courage to speak from his heart."

He then talks about the results. . . which man got something out of the meeting?

Elder Cook explained that by praying continually during meetings, for the speaker, for ourselves that we understand, etc., then we are opening the door to the Holy Ghost to speak to our hearts and our attitude can change.

I tried it. . . it works.

applepansy

[kona0197]

Plllleeeeassseee...again we know why you haven't joined the Church. Don't even pretend to be insulted at "supposedly" being yelled at. Your reasoning for not joining the Church is your choice.

You do not know the half of it so please stay out of it. Whatever I have said here is not the whole picture. How dare you think to presume you know me.

Just another reason I don't comment here much.

[LolaBella]

Well, I actually vissited my home ward on Sunday, which I dont do very often. It was amazing, it had such a diffrent feel, I actually enjoyed church for the first time in ages, I really want to go back next week to my home ward. But I know the church is so strict with boundaries. I suppose I could go there as I dont have a calling at the minute. I know that a lot of your advice is true-its what I put into it and how I perceive things. But Ive realised that feeling comfortable is really important so I am going to look into going to my home ward for the tie being, even if just temporary, if it helps me then its a good thing right?