LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Ok, so I'm dating a girl. We just started dating last week by the way. :) A little background: I graduated from high school back in 09 and she's a junior this year but I liked her when I first met her but was dating someone at the time and she admitted she liked me and loved me as well and I ended up falling in love with her so now we're dating finally. And nobody has a problem with age. Her parents and grandparents are fine with my age and mine are fine with her age since we've known each other for a couple of years. We're hanging out later today after she gets out of school. So far all I can think of is going to the walking trail nearby and coming back here to hang out and also have some alone time just the two of us (no, nothing dirty lol). Any advice on what else we could do? We're also getting together tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 that's what, 3 or 4 yrs between you? not a bad age difference (not robbing the cradle by any means). however, that does mean you are over 18 and she is not. around here we call that jail bait (though i think laws are such that you wouldn't actually be sent to jail over it anymore). advise i've given in the past, "keep it legal". if it's right now it will be right in another yr or so. you are both young, i'd suggest keeping it to group dates and public places. avoid being alone. as for what to do.... if it's warming up there (i have no idea where you are lol) kite flying is always fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) that's what, 3 or 4 yrs between you? not a bad age difference (not robbing the cradle by any means). however, that does mean you are over 18 and she is not. around here we call that jail bait (though i think laws are such that you wouldn't actually be sent to jail over it anymore). advise i've given in the past, "keep it legal". if it's right now it will be right in another yr or so. you are both young, i'd suggest keeping it to group dates and public places. avoid being alone.as for what to do.... if it's warming up there (i have no idea where you are lol) kite flying is always fun.Yes, I know to keep it legal. The one thing I do not get is the whole 16 still being underage (no I don't mean it like that lol). Think about it. It kind of contradicts another law or at least it does here in NC. Here in NC a person can get married at 16 with consent and marriage does not have an age limit yet laws are strict with dating. I hope you get what I'm saying with that.We know each other so we know we don't have to worry about doing anything like that even if we're alone. We trust each other. Edited February 25, 2011 by LDSChristian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Get involved in a hobby together: photography, dancing, scrap booking, exercise, hiking, etc. It is a good start to any relationship, is to have something in common besides attraction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Get involved in a hobby together: photography, dancing, scrap booking, exercise, hiking, etc.It is a good start to any relationship, is to have something in common besides attraction.I have planned on playing this song I found so we can dance. A slow dance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 The 18 law is fairly all over the states, not just NC. I think it has more to do with statuatory rape definitions than anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volgadon Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 We know each other so we know we don't have to worry about doing anything like that even if we're alone. We trust each other.Actually, you should be worried. You may trust yourselves, but there is still such a thing as hormones.Never hurts to be cautious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulsearcher Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Actually, you should be worried. You may trust yourselves, but there is still such a thing as hormones.Never hurts to be cautious.Reminds me very much of a kid i know. Him and his girl so wanted to stick to the law of chastity, we both very faithful, swore they could never cross any lines. They kinda slipped so i gave advice on avoiding time alone, bad situation ect and they still swore it was just a one time thing. The kid got mad at me cause i had no faith in him and his ability to "be good". Next time i talked to him he had a kid lol. "well it just sorta happened" No matter how good and strong you are, just make sure you don't set yourself up for stupid temptations and risks, for every couple i've seen actually avoid temptation there's probably 10 who've messed it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Drop her. Sorry, but the way the laws are and what society sees as appropriate behavior makes this an unsuitable situation. Besides, she's still a kid at 16. I've known folks who have dated and married at 18. They are all now divorced. It seems that one or both grew up and matured and saw who they were with and what they have done and regretted it as well as the other person. Besides, its much better for you to go on a mission without a girlfriend instead of with. Back off of her, know that love is a concept you know not much about, keep dating, grow up and mature. Stay within appropriate boundaries and don't get a girlfriend until you're back from your mission. You're messing with stuff that has the potential of biting you in the end. And bite you HARD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 ...We know each other so we know we don't have to worry about doing anything like that even if we're alone. We trust each other. The greatest danger is in those that cannot see any danger.The Traveler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have planned on playing this song I found so we can dance. A slow dance. Were you in high school together? If it's illegal for you to be involved with her sexually, this is a terrible idea. You're playing with fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 At this point in your life dating is not meant to get serious. The "date" you have described is the perfect opportunity for trouble to find its way in. You may trust her and yourself, but that doesn't mean you should flirt with temptation. Satan is working very hard to rip apart families, because that is what is central to God's plan. His strongest tactic is to ruin families at the start- when young people are dating and learning to control their hormones. Dates should NEVER include just "hanging out" or "alone time" with no direction. This is asking for disaster. Dates should always be thoroughly planned and active. You should also make every effort to be involved in activities that put you in public places and surrounds you with people that will keep you from submitting to Satan's tempting influence. Right now, dating is a source of fun and excitement. You should not be singling out one individual to regularly date but dating a number of different people, getting to know your likes and dislikes, what you expect out of a partner, and how you should behave yourself. After you get back from your mission (if you go on one), dating becomes more serious as you should already have an idea what you are looking for and be trying to find the one you wish to marry. Avoiding time alone doesn't mean you cannot have fun and it doesn't mean there is a lack of trust. On the contrary, following the advice of prophets and the council of the Lord shows that you trust in His principles and are strong in your faith. You can have all the trust in the world in your date, but Satan knows how to weasel his way in to even the strongest resolve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Were you in high school together? If it's illegal for you to be involved with her sexually, this is a terrible idea. You're playing with fire.What is it with people and "being involved sexually"? You people have your hormones out of wack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Wow. I ask for some advice on activities to do and all I get is a bunch of crap. And no, I'm not dropping her slamjet. I am grown up and I am mature. I found this girl a couple of years ago and I regret not asking her out sooner. Now that we're dating, I'm happy and she is too. Again, does anyone have GOOD advice in regards to activities we could do instead of the crap people have said? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Wow. I ask for some advice on activities to do and all I get is a bunch of crap. And no, I'm not dropping her slamjet. I am grown up and I am mature. I found this girl a couple of years ago and I regret not asking her out sooner. Now that we're dating, I'm happy and she is too.Again, does anyone have GOOD advice in regards to activities we could do instead of the crap people have said?Drop her or not, it's your decision. However, this post just screams of your immaturity. In the end, you get to deal with the consequences, not me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 does anyone have GOOD advice in regards to activities we could do instead of the crap people have saidYes . . . grow up kid. Your posts show a maturity level that is subpar for considering a serious relationship that may result in marriage. If a lot of "crap" is coming your way, perhaps you ought to pull your head out of it's dark spot and ask yourself if maybe it is deserved. Geesh. The level of disrespect for seasoned wisdom is appalling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) At this point in your life dating is not meant to get serious. The "date" you have described is the perfect opportunity for trouble to find its way in. You may trust her and yourself, but that doesn't mean you should flirt with temptation. Satan is working very hard to rip apart families, because that is what is central to God's plan. His strongest tactic is to ruin families at the start- when young people are dating and learning to control their hormones.Dates should NEVER include just "hanging out" or "alone time" with no direction. This is asking for disaster. Dates should always be thoroughly planned and active. You should also make every effort to be involved in activities that put you in public places and surrounds you with people that will keep you from submitting to Satan's tempting influence.Right now, dating is a source of fun and excitement. You should not be singling out one individual to regularly date but dating a number of different people, getting to know your likes and dislikes, what you expect out of a partner, and how you should behave yourself. After you get back from your mission (if you go on one), dating becomes more serious as you should already have an idea what you are looking for and be trying to find the one you wish to marry.Avoiding time alone doesn't mean you cannot have fun and it doesn't mean there is a lack of trust. On the contrary, following the advice of prophets and the council of the Lord shows that you trust in His principles and are strong in your faith. You can have all the trust in the world in your date, but Satan knows how to weasel his way in to even the strongest resolve.That's what I do not get. Members think it's impossible to be alone and not let Satan influence you. If you think you have to be in a public place just so Satan doesn't influence you maybe you should ask yourself why you have a problem dealing with it while not in public. Edited February 25, 2011 by LDSChristian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneC Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Wow. I ask for some advice on activities to do and all I get is a bunch of crap. And no, I'm not dropping her slamjet. I am grown up and I am mature. I found this girl a couple of years ago and I regret not asking her out sooner. Now that we're dating, I'm happy and she is too.Again, does anyone have GOOD advice in regards to activities we could do instead of the crap people have said?Then why are you dating someone who is not? And please don't tell me that a Junior in High School is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) That's what I do not get. Members think it's impossible to be alone and not let Satan influence you.Been there. Done that. Epic. Fail.It's not that people don't think a person can be alone with somebody and be able to control himself/herself. It's more a testament of the power of Satan to control the natural man.I acknowledge and accept that Satan is powerful. All I can do is not give him room to work his evil.But, I'm sure you'll find that out all by yourself.People here have given you advice on things to do - kite flying was great. You never even acknowledged the suggestion. Not even a THANKS for the trouble. So, others question your maturity level when you show skin as delicate as an onion's.I have more advice - Tennis - if you don't know how to play, it's a great thing to learn to play together. Bowling is always fun, can be cheesy, but disco bowling is okay. But, I personally wouldn't want to go bowling because I can't be caught dead wearing those ugly shoes. Is there something like a Dave and Busters where you are? It's like Chuck-E-Cheese for grown-ups. Also lots of fun but can be pricey. Skating is also fun especially if it's in a mall or like at the Galleria in Houston/Dallas or a the Rockefeller in NYC where it's a "happening place", then you can grab some ice-cream/hot chocolate after and cruise the shopping centers.Okay, now you can THANK me for my suggestions. Or not. Edited February 25, 2011 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Then why are you dating someone who is not? And please don't tell me that a Junior in High School is.Actually she is. I can say she is because I know her. What's with people saying age or grade has to do with maturity? I was more mature at 5 than some of the people in here are now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I guess I'm having trouble seeing what the big deal with the age difference is. I've seen it all the time. And I've seen kids wise beyond their years and thirty-year-olds who don't know which way is up. I'll accept that the girl is mature. Just keep in mind that there are legal problems with the age difference. I didn't date anyone significantly older until I was 18. Also remember the best of the best have slipped up before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSChristian Posted February 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Been there. Done that. Epic. Fail.It's not that people don't think a person can be alone with somebody and be able to control himself/herself. It's more a testament of the power of Satan to control the natural man.I acknowledge and accept that Satan is powerful. All I can do is not give him room to work his evil.But, I'm sure you'll find that out all by yourself.People here have given you advice on things to do - kite flying was great. You never even acknowledged the suggestion. Not even a THANKS for the trouble. So, others question your maturity level when you show skin as delicate as an onion's.I have more advice - Tennis - if you don't know how to play, it's a great thing to learn to play together. Bowling is always fun, can be cheesy, but disco bowling is okay. But, I personally wouldn't want to go bowling because I can't be caught dead wearing those ugly shoes. Is there something like a Dave and Busters where you are? It's like Chuck-E-Cheese for grown-ups. Also lots of fun but can be pricey. Skating is also fun especially if it's in a mall or like at the Galleria in Houston/Dallas or a the Rockefeller in NYC where it's a "happening place", then you can grab some ice-cream/hot chocolate after and cruise the shopping centers.Okay, now you can THANK me for my suggestions. Or not.So one person can't all of a sudden means nobody can. Right. I know Satan is strong but I know Jesus Christ is stronger because he's the Son of God. Yes, I know how to play tennis. Bowling is ok. I'm actually pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Actually she is. I can say she is because I know her. What's with people saying age or grade has to do with maturity? I was more mature at 5 than some of the people in here are now.You may have been more mature at 5 than some of the people here... but you're still not mature enough to decide the rest of your life at 5... or 16 for that matter. It's easy to say at 16 that you are mature enough to decide something that is life-altering - a forever kind of thing. When you hit the ripe old age of 40 - you realize how much different you are now than you were at 16... and sometimes you wish you didn't make those life-altering decisions that got you trapped for the rest of your life in a situation you wish you could change. Because when you're 40, you're looking at about 30 to 50 years more of life ahead that is doomed to suck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 So one person can't all of a sudden means nobody can. Right. I know Satan is strong but I know Jesus Christ is stronger because he's the Son of God. Yes, I know how to play tennis. Bowling is ok. I'm actually pretty good.I never said NOBODY can. I said - I don't want to risk finding out too late that I'm one of those that can't...But like I said - you'll get there eventually and you'll know for sure if you can or can't. Hope you get out before the fire lights your shorts... have a handy hymn ready for when it gets difficult - like, when I'm caught in a compromising situation, I sing "The Spirit of God" at the top of my lungs if possible, or just over and over in my head if I need to remain quiet.Ooohhh!! TENNIS it is, then! It's always a fun thing to do! Then go for ice-cream/hot chocolate after. The adrenaline rush after playing tennis always puts people in a happy mood! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted February 25, 2011 Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Actually she is. I can say she is because I know her. What's with people saying age or grade has to do with maturity? I was more mature at 5 than some of the people in here are now.Wow, you really are a child. It takes a high level of immaturity to say "I'm more mature than you." You are a child. You're judgment you post in this thread is that of a child. What you are searching for here is absolution, acceptance and permission. And thus you are disappointed. However, no one here is holding a gun to your head. If you want to go with this minor child, then go. You will fail, and it will be a very expensive lesson you will have learned.I promise you from over 40 years of very hard experience, and the experiences of many, many men for whom I have worked with and befriended. You are on the road to disappointment and failure.But as I said before, it's ultimately your choice and I'm not the one who will have to deal with the consequences. You will. So go do your romantic slow dances, go park yourself somewhere with her and do all that googly-eye stuff. Go put yourself in compromising places and positions. Go commit your undying love and unwavering loyalty as a child to a child. Go mess with feelings and ideas that you have no clue how to control. You will not win, you will mess up, you will go where you think you're so smart and strong to avoid. You will get into trouble, you will get her pregnant and you will have to pay society for what is properly deemed as an illicit, illegal and immoral activity.But it's ok, because you were more mature at the age of 5 than me, backroads, anetess, ryanh, judominja, etc, etc, etc. You know better. When in the end, all that's driving you is that little brain that sits between your legs.Grow up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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