(Rude) Customer Service?

[Backroads]

Today at the Scout office I rudely hung up on a volunteer. This is something I haven't done in about a year. The caller was an older man who apparently was the last to know of something that happened in our council nearly 10 years ago. The conversation started out well, though the man from the beginning was angry and short-tempered. Unable to find the details on the change he needed, I gave him the numbers (including cell phones) of some executives (who are not available as they are attending a conference). The man continued to yell at me, called me some very indecent words, and then said the other office he had called (a tiny satellite office staffed by a solitary executive) had no one at it. I once again explained Exectuve was at a conference. He told me flat-out I was wrong and proceeded to swear at me.

So I hung up.

He called back, but I refused to answer it and told the receptionist what had happened (turned out he had yelled and sworn at her, too) and that I would not be answering my phone. He left a message.

In the message he was much calmer. He said that he understood he could "get a little excited" but he was a Scouting volunteer and that I had no right to hang up on him.

I figure he might have a point. He is a volunteer, he needed some assitance, my job is to help. For all I know he's a tired man who was at his wit's end getting the "new" details and I was simply an unfortunate victim to his randomly directed anger.

But at the same time I have a very low tolerance for being yelled and sworn at when I feel I don't deserve it. My response is flight--if it's face-to-face, I tune them out. On the phone, I apparently hang up.

I know for a fact my boss will back me up on this, but was it my duty to stay on the phone?

[Guest]

I've done a lot of customer service, on the phone and otherwise. My phrase was, "Sir, I'd like to help you, but if you continue to yell and call me names, I will end the call." One warning, then follow through. You're not obligated to take verbal abuse just because he's a volunteer.

[Jennarator]

Some times it's best to hang up, rather than say something you might regret. Customer Service reps are people, too. And although they develope good coping skills and learn how to deal with difficult people, there are limits. My super visor taught me a phrase I love. "I hear your fursteration." I like it because it means I know you are frusterated, but it isn't siding with them, at all. :) Good luck!

[volgadon]

I've done a lot of customer service, on the phone and otherwise. My phrase was, "Sir, I'd like to help you, but if you continue to yell and call me names, I will end the call." One warning, then follow through. You're not obligated to take verbal abuse just because he's a volunteer.

Unfortunately, where I work that wouldn't fly.

I completely agree that customer service should be courteous, but there tends to be an elementary lack of respect by the callers themselves.

[Backroads]

Now I'm wondering if I should have just let him give his rant while I fiddled on the computer or something. For me, I had already given him all the help I could think of. It seemed he just wanted to continue being angry at someone. Perhaps a good vent was all he needed.

(I'm actually trying to remember if I posted a similar question here over a year ago the last time I did this.)

[Backroads]

Unfortunately, where I work that wouldn't fly.

I completely agree that customer service should be courteous, but there tends to be an elementary lack of respect by the callers themselves.

Where do you work, out of curiosity, and why wouldn't it fly?

[beefche]

Yeah, I'm in a business where I can get some angry phone calls. I tend to not worry so much about the yelling, but once foul language is involved, I give one warning, "Sir, the foul language needs to stop or I will hang up the phone." No more warnings, I'll just hang up and then report it to my supervisor.

[beefche]

I've actually asked a customer once after she yelled at me for not answering her questions, "Do you want to hear my answer? Whenever I've tried to answer, you interrupt and yell at me. You let me know when you're done and I'll provide answers."

[Guest]

Anywhere I worked, we were told that we didn't have to tolerate foul language or name calling. Sorry that's not the case where you work, volgadon.

[Dravin]

For all I know he's a tired man who was at his wit's end getting the "new" details and I was simply an unfortunate victim to his randomly directed anger.

And for all he knows you are borderline suicidal and the reason you aren't picking up the phone is his tirade was the last straw and you are in the bathroom swallowing entire bottles of pills. The hypothetical game goes both ways.

Honestly, baring clear policy, the only difference I would suggest in your reaction is to explain that you will not talk to him while he is yelling at you as it serves neither of your purposes and that he should call back when he can speak to you in a calm manner, and then hang up if that didn't pull the behavior up short.

I know for a fact my boss will back me up on this, but was it my duty to stay on the phone?

If your boss will back up your decision then I'd say you didn't fail to fulfill your job obligations as expected you by your employer which is the pertinent one in a situation like this.

[Bini]

I took a telemarketing job once. HATED it. I had no idea the kind of poor treatment (which is an understatement) those people receive from the other end of the phone. I've been flat-out rude to a couple telemarketers myself back in the day. Shame, on, me! Nobody should be subjected to such treatment.

That said. I have a cousin that was a 911 dispatcher and she'd pretty much heard it all but with that job you have to have thick skin, patience and not get caught up in the emotions from the other person. She certainly could NEVER hang-up on someone.

[Backroads]

Actually, I did tell him I would hang up the phone. Sorry that wasn't in there. He may not have heard me during his tirade, but it was said. I do feel good about doing that.

Yeah, we have the same policy as Eowyn's. We don't have to tolerate it. Too often in my business we get the "I'm a non-paid volunteer and therefore you have to do everything I say" syndrome. Or, even worse, the "I'm only doing this because my bishop gave me the stupid calling" syndrome.

I kind of wish I knew some tactics for talking them down during the conversation. I like the "I feel your frustration" idea.

[Backroads]

That said. I have a cousin that was a 911 dispatcher and she'd pretty much heard it all but with that job you have to have thick skin, patience and not get caught up in the emotions from the other person. She certainly could NEVER hang-up on someone.

THAT I could understand.

But missing a few details that happened years and years ago does not compare to a 911 emergency.

I think I'm still mad at this guy.

[Backroads]

I've actually asked a customer once after she yelled at me for not answering her questions, "Do you want to hear my answer? Whenever I've tried to answer, you interrupt and yell at me. You let me know when you're done and I'll provide answers."

What was her response?

[volgadon]

Where do you work, out of curiosity, and why wouldn't it fly?

I work at a 3rd party call center. We aren't allowed to hang up under any circumstance, doing so would most likely result in termination.

[NeuroTypical]

I'm supportive of notions that folks shouldn't have to endure verbal abuse on the phone, and should be able to discontinue abusive calls. That said, I've spent a lot of time and energy being able to put up with such things. I've worked hard for my thick skin and ability to be outwardly pleasant while inwardly giggling. Under no circumstances do I ever think poorly of someone who does not have my thick skin or gets upset at being treated rudely.

So, all that said, here are some things I'd do in your situation:

* Point the earpiece at the wall to see if dude's swearing really can peel paint off the walls.

* Imagine the person is calling into a talk show, swearing at the host. Think "Gee, glad he's not that mad at me!"

* Quietly start voicing poetry, telling a joke, or singing, when I know he can't hear me.

* Sympathize with him to the extent that I think he's got a valid gripe. If I'd be mad too, I tell him so.

* Imagine handing the phone in mid-tirade to his mother.

[prisonchaplain]

Now I'm wondering if I should have just let him give his rant while I fiddled on the computer or something. For me, I had already given him all the help I could think of. It seemed he just wanted to continue being angry at someone. Perhaps a good vent was all he needed.

(I'm actually trying to remember if I posted a similar question here over a year ago the last time I did this.)

There's newer psychological theory out that suggests in many cases "venting" frequently does NOT relieve pressure. Instead, people often feed on their anger as they yell it out, and escalate their feelings--often exaggerating the offense out of all proportion.

[Jennarator]

There's newer psychological theory out that suggests in many cases "venting" frequently does NOT relieve pressure. Instead, people often feed on their anger as they yell it out, and escalate their feelings--often exaggerating the offense out of all proportion.

I beleive it!

[Backroads]

I'm supportive of notions that folks shouldn't have to endure verbal abuse on the phone, and should be able to discontinue abusive calls. That said, I've spent a lot of time and energy being able to put up with such things. I've worked hard for my thick skin and ability to be outwardly pleasant while inwardly giggling. Under no circumstances do I ever think poorly of someone who does not have my thick skin or gets upset at being treated rudely.

So, all that said, here are some things I'd do in your situation:

* Point the earpiece at the wall to see if dude's swearing really can peel paint off the walls.

* Imagine the person is calling into a talk show, swearing at the host. Think "Gee, glad he's not that mad at me!"

* Quietly start voicing poetry, telling a joke, or singing, when I know he can't hear me.

* Sympathize with him to the extent that I think he's got a valid gripe. If I'd be mad too, I tell him so.

* Imagine handing the phone in mid-tirade to his mother.

These are really good!

[classylady]

When I worked for the Airline industry, I would often get upset passengers or even downright "mean" people on the phone. Many of the problems the passengers had were valid problems. I did my best to help solve the issues. When a passenger called, whether with a problem, or just a question, "I" was the company. And any frustration a passenger had, "I" became the company they were having issues with. I found that if "I", (the company) owned the problem, and they could see that I was truly trying to help solve their issue, they would usually calm down and we could work together in getting their issue resolved. Some, just needed to hear an apology "Im sorry". I have to admit, there were a few people that I talked with who were just "mean". I can't think of any other way to describe them. They had no manners, refused to be courteous, and didn't care what kind of language they used. If they started to use foul language, I would tell them that I would not listen to such language and would hang up if they continued to talk that way. And there were times that I did have to resort to hanging up. Our calls were often recorded or monitored by supervisors. It was okay to hang up if we were being talked to in this manner.

Btw, we also had prank callers who would call the reservations system. We had nicknames for some them. Enough of us would get the same prank caller, and would actually nickname them. And keep in mind that there were thousands of agents, so in order for us to remember someone and actually nickname, they must have been calling on a regular basis. One of them was the "Spanker". He would start out by asking for flight information, start chatting nicely, and then ask if we spanked our children. Weird. I won't go into detail on some of the others, they were just sick. Not only were there prank callers, but there were stalkers. Many of the employees did not give out their real names. I didn't. Our supervisors had to know what our "name" was that we used. I used a variation of my first name and then a totally different last name because my last name is uncommon enough that I could have been found. And we did have an employee from our center who was stalked. Not good.

Edited January 26, 2012 by classylady

[beefche]

What was her response?

She hung up on me.

She calmed down enough at that point to listen to me. I think she realized that she was interrupting me and not allowing me to answer her questions.

Honestly, I usually let people yell at me. I will simply not say anything as they continue their tirade. Once they realize that I'm not responding, they will ask, "Are you still there? Are you listening to me?" Then I'm usually able to talk rationally with them. My patience ends, though, with threats, name calling, or swearing. I can only remember telling one or two people that if they can't calm down enough to speak rationally or calmly, then I'm hanging up and they can call back when they are able to do so. Otherwise, the people I've hung up on (after a warning) were those who cursed or threatened.

And I sleep fine at night. It's their actions that are improper, not mine.

[mirkwood]

I get yelled at sometimes...not over the phone, but to my face. Sometimes that doesn't end so well for the yelling party.

[IamMe]

I'm in Canada where we hate to be rude to anyone... but I've worked in customer service for years, as a front end, a supervisor and management. In my opinion, customer service ends the moment the swearing and verbal abuse (name calling) starts. I see no reason for anyone to tolerate being treated that way.

There are phrases that often come in handy when dealing with someone in the middle of a temper tantrum. "I'm very sorry you feel that way" and reflecting back what the customer seems to be saying the concern is "Let me just repeat back to you what I'm hearing so I know that I'm understanding this correctly"

There's also times that you just need to dump it on the floor and move on.

[applepansy]

Decades ago I worked for an answering service. We had to have a thick skin and we had to be courteous at all times BUT if the person started swearing and using foul language we could end the call.

It doesn't matter how frustrated and/or angry a person is, there is no valid reason to use vulgar language.

Backroads, talk to your supervisor and tell him/her what happened, then ask what the policy is and how you should handles calls like that in the future.

[FairChild]

Sometimes when a person is in the beginning of Alzheimer's or dementia they rage or easily,quickly and deeply become angry. Makes me wonder how much as a volunteer he contributes towards scouting if he rages as he did to an unknown person on the other end of the phone.