member/leadership relationship question

[cofchristcousin]

Hi, I am from Community of Christ and have just been curious about our cultural similarities and differences. For instance, are regular members in the pews on a first name basis with Apostles and the First Presidency? Are they on fb?

[bytor2112]

I live in Florida, but I suspect out of respect for Apostles that they are referred to as Elder or President, rather than Henry or Dieter. I am sure they of course have friends that refer to them in a less formal and more personal way.

[beefche]

Are you asking for someone on this board who personally knows them? Or are you asking if we, as members of the LDS church, refer to them by their first name? Or are you asking if each member (over 14 million) have personal relationships with the Apostles?

[cofchristcousin]

LOL! I left that rather vague. If you knew the apostle before they became apostle, I'm guessing you would call them by their first name? In an informal setting, like a weekend retreat, would the apostle be called by their first name by everyone, after awhile? In formal settings our apostles are called brother/sister and their last name. In other settings we call them by their first names. and most have fb accounts and post about their daily lives, much like a regular member does. I just wondered if it was like that in the lds church.

[pam]

Hi Stacey...good question.

Let me answer this way. I had a neighbor I had known for a long time. His first name is Rick. Once he became Bishop I no longer called him Rick..it was Bishop. I think it's just our way of showing respect for the calling.

I seriously doubt that any of the General Authorities have their own personal facebook page. I know there are many pages set up in their name but they are done by others.

[beefche]

I know my bishop as a personal friend. Out of respect for his office, I typically don't call him by his first name unless we are in an informal, intimate setting. I call him Bishop in any other setting.

The same would apply for the GAs, I would imagine.

I imagine that some of the Apostles are on FB. But, because I don't know them personally, I am not friends with them. I am friends with an actress. She has 2 FB accounts. One is her "actress" account and one is her personal account. She uses 2 names for these accounts. That is to avoid having the whole world know her personal life. Her friends/family know her personal life. I would think the GAs are like that, if they have FB accounts.

[cofchristcousin]

Thanks Pam. I think in other cultures within my church there might be more formality. In the West it's generally first name, and our President is most often referenced as "steve". I'm getting more lds fb friends lately and thought I'd ask some questions here. I don't want to unintentionally upset any of them with a cultural gaffe on my part. But they all seem very down to earth.

[cofchristcousin]

Is there a thanks button here? Thank you all for your responses. very helpful

[Just_A_Guy]

Observations:

1) Growing up, I had an LDS bishop whose own wife would never call him by anything other than "bishop" in public.

2) FWIW, one of my former mission presidents is now a 70 and regularly posts to Facebook.

3) I remember at one point a (non-LDS) law school professor of mine who lived near Elder Oaks made some off-the-cuff remark about seeing "Dallin" out mowing his lawn one day. As a practicing Mormon I found it very jarring. I think our leadership want to be out among the people getting a sense of everyday Mormons' experiences (President Hinckley said as much numerous times); but at the same time, we tend to give our leaders a huge amount of deference and respect and that can't help but put up some barriers. I imagine that it must be difficult to form casual friendships with Mormons once one has entered the higher echelons of the LDS hierarchy.

[cofchristcousin]

The last time I went to the mormon village at Kirtland the guides were husband and wife. They called each other Elder ___ and Sister____. I think that might be when I got curious.

[pam]

The last time I went to the mormon village at Kirtland the guides were husband and wife. They called each other Elder ___ and Sister____. I think that might be when I got curious.

They were probably serving a mission and while a missionary there are no first names. :)

[annewandering]

It is very unlikely they called each other that anywhere else. Quite a few people in the town where I live knew Elder Haight personally. I never heard him called anything but Elder Haight even by those friends. Perhaps in more casual circumstances where they might have talking with him, they might have called him, David. I know some called his wife, Ruby or Sister Haight.

Elder Haight was an apostle by the way.

[Vort]

Hi, I am from Community of Christ and have just been curious about our cultural similarities and differences. For instance, are regular members in the pews on a first name basis with Apostles and the First Presidency? Are they on fb?

I'm sure those that know them well are on a first-name basis.

A friend was called to be our bishop a few years ago. I think that I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have called him by his first name, either to his face or in reference to him, since he was ordained the bishop. Probably with fingers left over. I call him "Bishop". When he is released in a few years, I will go back to calling him by name. For now, I call him by his title out of deference and respect. (If I were to interact with him in a business setting, which is possible but currently unlikely, I would refer to him by name.)

[kathysmike]

I find this very intersting, we are good friends with our Stake President and his family, we have holiday meals, family birthday parties and the like with them, my sister's family are even closer they spend most of thier family free time outings with them. President M.is also a very known surgeon in the local area. So we are faced to we refer to him as Marsch, President, or Doctor. I have used all 3 deppeding on the setting and the other people around us. I have used his firist name when on a more imtimate setting or family only get together. I have addressed him as Doctor when I was in the hospital and he popped into my room to check on me, I did call him President while he was prepairing to give me a blessing.

Most of the time we address him as President Medely, even in family conversation. I think give him the honor of addressing by his title of President when ever it is approperate, which should be in almost all occassions, except on the most casual occurances or when he is interactiong soley in his professional role.

[bytebear]

I grew up in Salt Lake City, an every adult was Brother Smith or Sister Jones. And pretty much everyone called each other that. But, I also remember all school teachers were Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones as well. No adults used first names, at least not unless they were a close family friend.

I also grew up in a neighborhood with some fairly prominent church leaders. My friends were in the same ward as an Apostle (still living) and other than he rarely was at that church on Sunday because he was traveling so much, and that he called my friends dad (who was a bishop at the time) to be a mission president, it was kind of business as usual.

I also had a now former General Relief Society president in my home ward. Her husband was my Priests Quorum advisor when she was in her calling. He had been a bishop several years earlier, so interestingly enough, a general calling kind of works like a local one, but with more travel, I suppose.

There are others as well, including a certain president of a prominent church owned university, although my parents knew him, his kids weren't my age, so I just tangentially knew them.

I suppose now, if you did a little research you could find out which ward I grew up in.

[Wingnut]

I suppose now, if you did a little research you could find out which ward I grew up in.

I'm going to guess that it's in Alpine.

[JudoMinja]

For me, I've found that it depends on how much you interact with them and in what setting. I don't know any of our General Authorities in a personal capacity, but I've known several bishops having been in several wards. My relationship with each and how I refer to them all is very different.

There is one I can think of who I have been on first-name basis with. He was my bishop when I was in primary, and my family moved about the same time he was released. When my family stayed in touch with him and his family, they would always refer to him by his first name, so that's just how I think of him now.

Another, who was my bishop while I was in the young women's program, is a much older fellow who I've always greatly respected. Our family is very close to him and his wife- my father and brothers helped them move, and he works at the bank where both my parents and myself hold bank accounts. However, even though we know him personally and he's been released as a bishop, we all always refer to him as Bishop.

And, one other example I can think of to reflect the diversity is the bishop who was called after the one I just mentioned. He was called after I moved out of the area, so I never really thought of him as "Bishop" until I moved back and he was the one who helped me through my repentance process. It was a little difficult to transition in my head between thinking of him as "Brother" to thinking of him as "Bishop", and then it confused matters even more when he was the one who hired me- so at work I have to refer to him as "Mister". With him- the reference I use changes with each scenario in which I interact with him. At church I call him "Bishop", at work I call him "Mister", and in less formal settings I'll either refer to him as "Brother" or by his first name.

I think you will probably see a similar variety in how people interact with and refer to the general authorities. Our personal relationships with each and the capacity in which we interact with them will determine whether or not we call them by their title or by name. However, refering to someone by their title is not necessarily a sign of a lack of closeness, as with my example of the gentleman my family still refers to as Bishop (and really, almost the entire ward still calls him Bishop- even the current Bishop). Titles can be a formality, out of respect, a recognition of service, or even nothing more than a sign of endearment.

[Guest]

Now, this has always made me wonder...

Does the Presidency, Apostles, and GA's still have home teachers? And they still attend a ward, don't they? I mean, unless their calling sends them elsewhere?

My brother (non-LDS) works with our previous Bishop. When I invite my brother and the Bishop to dinner, I call the Bishop by his first name - the way my brother addresses him - instead of Bishop.

My husband works with some people from Church. He calls them by their first names anywhere except at Church, then they're Brother ___ . When they play basketball, he makes sure to call them Brother ___ . It prevents him from getting mad at a bad foul call. LOL.

[EarlJibbs]

I was once at a very small gathering with President Hinkley at a ranch. I am not related to him, but was with my own family. He was walking around the ranch talking to some of us mingling or off on our own enjoying the scenery. Since we were not family or regularly together, my family still called him President when addressing him. Although his great great... grandchildren called him Grandpa. It was a good experience.

[jayanna]

My Bishop works in the same building with me. There are about 20 people between our two departments I guess, and we celebrate each other's birthdays, etc. If I referred to him as Bishop I don't think my coworkers would realize I'm talking about him, they don't think of him as a Bishop since they are not members and aren't aware that he is their bishop too, and when people call for him they also ask for him by his first or last (or both) name. I know his wife refers to him as Bishop when at church, or speaking with a church member, but she certainly doesn't when they are together at home.

We have someone else on staff that has the same first name, so I usually call him by both names. I do occaisionaly call him Bishop, and then whoever I am speaking to waits for me to explain who I'm talking about.

I am not sure what to call him in the temple though. My Stake Pres did tell us once in a talk that when he is in the temple he is not the Stake President, he is bro so-and-so and that regardless of what calling we have in our ward, we are all equal in the temple. So, I guess when I am in the temple with him and his wife I should call him bro so-and-so...shrug. Whatever I call him, I hope I am as respectful when I am addressing anyone at all, ya know? I know Bishops are important, but I don't think they are more important than, say, the primary teachers or the chorister :) I would not call them by their calling all the time, lots of people have callings and we do not always refer to them by the calling rather by their name on a personal level. If I were, say speaking to another church member about the Bishop, like he has asked us to do something, or he said such-and-such, I always say Bishop.

[Just_A_Guy]

Now, this has always made me wonder...

Does the Presidency, Apostles, and GA's still have home teachers?

Yes.

[mnn727]

In formal settings our apostles are called brother/sister and their last name. .

We never call our Apostles: Sister (last name)

It just wouldn't be right.

[Iggy]

We never call our Apostles: Sister (last name)

It just wouldn't be right.

Apostles are always men is why.

[Dravin]

The Community of Christ has female apostles, Community of Christ, so her use of Sister/Brother is justified. I know the previous two posts are jokes (or rather one joke and an explanation), but I figured I'd pipe up in case anyone was unaware.

Edited May 18, 2012 by Dravin

[mnn727]

I was aware the CoC had female Apostles, but was making a joke about calling OUR apostles 'Sister...." since we don't have female Apostles

Kinda takes aware the joke if you have to explain it.