Testimony meetings not blastimony meetings

[pooter1]

I was thinking about when testimony meetings start going wrong and people start complaining

about others and make it a blastimony meeting.Can the Bishop stop the meeting? I was thinking of a meeting that went that way in my ward and wondered why the Bishop wasn't stopping it.Maybe he's not allowed to.

[pam]

Bishop's can stop this. I've seen it happen in a ward I grew up in. We had a visitor that got up to bear his testimony and started in on how noisy of a ward we were. We had lots of young families with lots of young kids. It did get a little noisy especially when we met 1-4.

Our Bishop did get up and quietly ask the man to step down.

[Jenamarie]

Bishops can, and absolutely *should* stop people like that. Thankfully I haven't seen anything like "blastimonies", but we do have one older gentleman in our ward who will go on and on and on and on when he gets up there about completely NON-testimony-related things, and our Bishops (he's been doing this for a while. LOL) will stand up and give him a tap on the shoulder when he's taken up enough time. No amount of gentle reminders to keep testimonies brief and focused on the Gospel seem to work on this guy, so the shoulder tapping remains a regular thing.

[pooter1]

Maybe there should be a buzzer when your getting inapropriate or if you are going to long music starts playing like at the emmys.lol

[Guest]

A testimony of the gospel is not a travelogue, a health log, or an expression of love for family members. It is not a sermon. President Kimball taught that the moment we begin preaching to others, our testimony is ended.

- Dallin H. Oaks, "Testimony", April 2008 Ensign.

When it goes to blastimony, then the testimony is ended and the bishop should be able to politely give the member a signal, a sign, a whisper, to let him know that the testimony is finished.

Edited May 27, 2012 by anatess

[volgadon]

Maybe there should be a buzzer when your getting inapropriate or if you are going to long music starts playing like at the emmys.lol

I'm in favour of a trap door leading to a crocodile pit. Either that or a good oldfashioned shepherd's crook.

[applepansy]

The worst I've ever seen was a woman who got up and started doing a sale's pitch. Fortunately she kept it short and didn't have to be interrupted.

[annewandering]

There was a very well known woman in our town who used to get up and talk forever. She was in my friends ward. She told me the lady got up and decided to sing a poor wayfaring man of grief. Every single verse in very loud very off tune voice. My friend was a very nice person but that was just too much for even her!

[MorningStar]

I think we need a gong to hit when it gets really bad.

[Jenamarie]

Interestingly, our Bishop was the concluding speaker in our Sacrament today, and he gave his talk on "What a Testimony IS" in preparation for F&T meeting next week.

[Tyler90AZ]

I think the only people I hear bear correct testimonies are children. It seems like in my ward people are scared to bear a testimony like the children. It runs through my head for sure, "if I go up and just say what I believe, a correct testimony, they might think I am like the 8 year old child who got up before me."

[lizzy16]

Your ward experinces sound mild compared to mine...

A lady would go up every month and read letters to her dead dog.

Another women would talk about the importance of getting flash drives to put info on because everything would be gone when their was a flood ect. 2nd coming is soon! ect.

One women would tesify how well the last ward activity was (she was Ward activity chairperson) and how she had prayed for matching center peices. And found them at goodwill. God really did love her. He gave her those center peices.

Don't even get me started about testimonies at girls camp and Youth confrences.

People would go up multiple times. During one meeting no one went up for 25 minutes straight. And then everyone who went up before the lull went up a 2nd time....

And then theirs always those teenagers that announce what a rough year they've had, and how they almost commited suicide, didn't get asked to prom, will be 16 soon. Ect ect ect.

Arghh.

[Desertknight]

Your ward experinces sound mild compared to mine...

A lady would go up every month and read letters to her dead dog.

Another women would talk about the importance of getting flash drives to put info on because everything would be gone when their was a flood ect. 2nd coming is soon! ect.

One women would tesify how well the last ward activity was (she was Ward activity chairperson) and how she had prayed for matching center peices. And found them at goodwill. God really did love her. He gave her those center peices.

You may have not intended it, but that made me laugh.

Letters to her dead dog?

[Dravin]

I'm in favour of a trap door leading to a crocodile pit. Either that or a good oldfashioned shepherd's crook.

There is a certain poetry with the Bishop using a shepherd's crook. Alternatively, congruent with his role as a Judge in Israel he could smack them over the head with a gavel.

Edited May 28, 2012 by Dravin

[FunkyTown]

Every ward has its crazies: Roommateimonies are classics in YSA wards. Then, there was the crazy guy who bore his testimony that if he "Didn't get what he needed this year, then there would be hell to pay."

But crazies aside, the testimony that absolutely horrified me was when someone bore their testimony that they knew the Work and the Glory was true. I thought, "YAAAAH! Please let no investigators hear that. Please let no investigators hear that."

[Vort]

A typical fast and testimony meeting in my ward might look like this:

• A brother bears a simple testimony and thanks congregants for recent help they gave.
• A brother talks about his wife's death, the blessings of finding another wonderful wife, and the effect on his children. He testifies of God's love for him even through these fiery trials.
• A sister testifies that she has been going through a rough patch. She tells of clinging to the truths of the gospel in an effort to find relief, and bears a tentative testimony of these gospel truths.
• A sister tells about talking with friends about the Church and bears her testimony of missionary work.
• Her husband gets up and gives a brief testimony/lecture about the application of gospel principles and of God's love for each of us.
• An older sister relates a moving story of divine guidance during a trial of life.
• A young woman talks about difficulties at school and the unkindness of some fellow students, and tells how glad she is for seminary in the morning.
• A nine-year-old bears a simple, sweet testimony of how he "knows the Church is true" and how he loves the prophet and his own family.
• A series of three thirty-to-fortyish sisters take turns bearing testimony of the hand of God in their various life trials.

Some times, one or several of these might say something that sort of makes you look sideways a little. But that's no problem. We understand where they're coming from and realize we're all somewhere along the path. We're just glad they're there with us.

[skippy740]

Another women would talk about the importance of getting flash drives to put info on because everything would be gone when their was a flood ect. 2nd coming is soon! ect.

Someone should tell her that flash drives are not unfailable. If she really wants to preserve her data, the best she can do are CD/DVDs.

(Sorry for the diversion. Please continue. )

[annewandering]

I guess whats a testimony to one might not be to another. Honestly I dont think God is worried about the color we chose for carpet so why would He give anyone a moment of heavenly insight on that? Yet I have heard that born as a testimony in church. Think it was at relief society though.

I enjoy the kids, most of the time. They get down to the basics. They also listen to their mom/dad/sibling with trust as they are told what to say. lol. Might just be the last period of time in their lives they have that trust till they get much older.

Mostly the testimonies are uplifting if we listen with the right spirit. Even, perhaps the carpet testimony. You have to admit that is simple trusting that the Lord will help them when they are unable to sort things out themselves.

[Echo2002]

It gets uncomfortable when they start confessing things they shouldn't be confessing in front of a group of people.

We had one lady that explained how her husband wasn't too smart and didn't have a very good education. It always gets interesting when her or her husband get up.

One new convert who couldn't remember that you end the testimony with "in the name of Jesus Christ Amen" instead says "party on!" we all got a good laugh at that.

Testimony meetings are probably not the best time to bring an investigator, haha.

[Misshalfway]

"Blastimony". That's funny. It's like the Rambo version of church.

[MorningStar]

I have a testimony bearing phobia, but these are excellent tips.

*composes letter to dead dog*