Guest Posted September 18, 2012 Report Share Posted September 18, 2012 Wow, that is a pretty close guess. He updates me regularly on his own weight loss - you know, the one he's doing so a hot woman will want him after he leaves me - and he was celebrating breaking into the 170s last week. He always weighs himself in the morning, after working out but before eating, and after peeing and spitting a few times so he really probably weighs just about exactly 180 in real, everyday life.I think I've got his type pegged. Thankfully the one I dragged around for 3 years decided he didn't want me, probably because I didn't look like a 14-year-old emo boy on speed. As a young woman even I was curvy with just a little bit extra, which eventually made me worthless to him. But in spite of my fears to the contrary, I had no trouble finding other guys who liked the curves and the important things about me. I married one of them and have lived blissfully with him for 14 years, through 5 babies and a 50 pound variance in my weight, which he's barely noticed (my guy is very frank and wouldn't lie to pad my ego). . . in fact, at whatever weight I've been, he has loved and cherished and desired me.That is a righteous, good man. I know he's not the only one of his type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted September 18, 2012 Report Share Posted September 18, 2012 I've witnessed 3 women leave toxic marriages, all of them were overweight when they left, none of them is now, and none of them had to put that much effort into it.Guess that's a good sign for me; my ex wife has been gaining since the day she filed. I almost didn't recognize her at the final decree hearing.I, OTOH, have lost a couple pounds since the decree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tumbledquartz Posted September 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2012 Whoa! How did I miss that one? TQ, Did he get some kind of sick satisfaction in telling you that? No, he didn't even really want to tell me about it at all. In fact, come to think of it, he hasn't really told me yet. I asked him one day if he had cheated on me, and his answer was, "I haven't had intercourse with another woman." Which isn't really an answer, so I asked if he had had oral sex with another woman, and he didn't answer. Later, when I said something about him having oral sex with someone else, his reply was, "I never admitted to having oral sex." As if admitting it was the bad part. It reminds me of my kids once saying, "well, you didn't SEE us jumping on the trampoline," when I scolded them for jumping on the neighbors's tramp after I'd told them not to. They were preschoolers at the time, though, not grown adults. And then in another conversation, he reassured me that they had used condoms, but he wouldn't elaborate. So I don't have a clue what went on. If they didn't have intercourse, what the heck did they need the condoms for?? I really think I need to demand some answers from him, actually. I don't want to be one of those people who can't stop thinking about it and wants to know every detail, though. I don't think that's healthy. But it would be nice to have some clue at least.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcguy Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Ever see the movie "Shallow Hal?" If not, go watch it. I think he is being Shallow hal. Second, His past behavior is indicative of his future behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 If they didn't have intercourse, what the heck did they need the condoms for??STDs can be transmitted through oral sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tumbledquartz Posted September 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 STDs can be transmitted through oral sex.That's true, I'm sure. I just can't imagine my husband being the one to say they needed it unless there was some danger of pregnancy. It's entirely possible that the other woman insisted on it, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Jenamarie, I agree. I've known a couple women that were quite heavy while in their toxic relationship/marriage, and when they got out of it - BAM - whole transformation. That says something.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest George Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) · Hidden Hidden I'm sorry to read about the issues you are having with your husband. Firstly it is important you realize that there are men who look past looks and will fall in love with your personality. Second, I think you do deserve better because if he isn't willing to stay with you over a little weight what if you become ill? I know a man who left his wife because she got cancer and he didn't want to stick around to support her. If would be hard but I think you should leave him and look into online dating or try to meet someone through friends. Edited October 2, 2012 by Eowyn signatures must not be in the body of a post per site rules Link to comment
Janadele Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 It is better for your physical health to lose weight... and in some cases, also for emotional health. Read the articles at Mercola.com they will help in the understanding of what is best to eat and drink to achieve optimal health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 I have not read every post, but the real questions is; Why would a woman put up with a man who was like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 29, 2012 Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 I know this has been here awhile, but I'm new to the site, so just getting my foot in. The first thing that comes to mind "OH. MY. GOSH!" My husband is not even attracted to skinny women at all. We were friends for years before we dated, so I know he doesn't just say it for my benefit! I actually did not find him attractive for a very long time. I didn't even LIKE him for several months after meeting him! As I got to know him, the wonderful person that he is inside shone through and changed the way I saw him physically, as well. Real love is for the persons heart and soul, not the package it is in. So, say a person in a situation like Tumbledquartz does lose the weight, get in shape, get their teeth fixed, etc. What happens if there is an accident and they are then disabled, or horribly disfigured? Does the OP want out again because the 'peackage' no longer meets the standard? A person should expect, no, require, that they be loved for who they are, not what they look like. If you truly love the inside of a person, however they look will be beautiful to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelsareamongus Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 · Hidden Hidden Actually it is not that you are overweight that is the problem. It is much deeper than that- there is a serious pride issue here. Do you read scriptures as a family-especially the BOM? If not start with your kids and try to get him involved. Try praying together and maybe his spirituality will rekindle. Link to comment
maggie83 Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 I wanted to find a website that was pertating to this question and I stubbled onto this website and I was glad that I did because i'm mormon and I have been married to my wife for 6 years this year and to be honest she is overweight. I was looking for a bigger wife because I would be happy ,but at the same time if she was not fat then I would be happy also. When I meet my wife she did not have any type of red flags so I knew she was good for me, but at the same time I had to open up to her and tell her I perferd a fatter women , she was around 180 pounds at that time. She did not understand at that moment but when she took the time and understood why she was ok with it. She understands that it is a sexual thing and she knows that I would go with a bigger female, so since she was chubby at the time she felt comfortable knowing she could please me and I could love her for who she is . She likes being the fat wife for me. I know there are men out in this world that do love there wife fat , but to me reading your thread it seems like your husband is being selfish and not focusing on you and not loving you. I would have to say that the man you married does not like a female that is overweight so don't you have to please him with that so maybe you two need to compramise with that. You also need to remember that you married a man that was not honest with you in the first place so he is not perfect too, none of us are. If you take the time and fix things through then maybe it might work out , if not then you have to ask yourself did I marry a man that loves me for who I am or not. Last thing I wanted a bigger wife in the first place so that was what I was looking for and I got one , I also need to love her for who she is not for looks so I also need to love her also not benig fat to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted May 3, 2013 Report Share Posted May 3, 2013 um... yes...just cause someone is "overweight" doesn't make them ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drpepper Posted May 6, 2013 Report Share Posted May 6, 2013 I have not read every post, but the real questions is; Why would a woman put up with a man who was like that?Sadly there are a lot of answers to that question... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted May 6, 2013 Report Share Posted May 6, 2013 This topic has been beaten to death. Thread closed. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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