Just Wondering

[Jenamarie]

Lol nope, I never worked at McDonald's....

I work at a local burger shop near my house...

a catering company and at a restaurant as a bar tender

As a bar tender? Or do you mean cocktail waitress? (the one who *serves* drinks, rather than making them). I ask because bar tenders can make a LOT of money, but it also costs money to get the training to do it, so I'm wondering how you managed to get that position.

[YaYaYaYana]

As a bar tender? Or do you mean cocktail waitress? (the one who *serves* drinks, rather than making them). I ask because bar tenders can make a LOT of money, but it also costs money to get the training to do it, so I'm wondering how you managed to get that position.

I worked as both.. I started out working as a waitress/ cocktail waitress... I wanted to make more money as a bar-tender the catering company that I worked for paid for my bar-tending license and fine dinning training... I still work for the same company.. they have a closed bar and a set menu for drinks... though I get tipped but not as much as if it were an open bar.. When I do waitress work at the catering/ banquet I don't usually get tipped as the event is paid for before hand... and the guests come in just to have a good time..

( So yes... my job requires serving drinks most of the time )

( also yes, I make drinks... when senior bartenders can't work as much I fill in from time to time.... I can make a bit of money on open bar up to 400.00 bucks a night... but then again that kind of shift comes by once a month if I'm lucky some times two.... lol If I could work that kind of shift every day the past two years... I would be complaining about anything right now lol)

- I work at the local burger shop as well .. I get tips but it only only goes up at $100 bucks per day if it's a good busy night if not I make less

Edited August 28, 2012 by YaYaYaYana

[Bini]

As a bar tender? Or do you mean cocktail waitress? (the one who *serves* drinks, rather than making them). I ask because bar tenders can make a LOT of money, but it also costs money to get the training to do it, so I'm wondering how you managed to get that position.

★☆

Guess it depends on the establishment. My husband bar tended in his youth, and did not go to bar tending school, nor did he make an incredible amount of money from it. But yes, you can make a decent living from bar tending.

[YaYaYaYana]

You grew up in a sensory deprivation chamber? If no, you didn't miss out on everything. Alternatively as long as one classifies 'everything' as 'things other people can afford to do that I can't', you will always miss out on 'everything'.

I guess so.... I feel like a dumb a*** for complaining so much now...

I think I should make a list and post up of things that I am lucky enough to do or have or have been able to accomplish vs what I want and find a way to accomplish them .....

[applepansy]

That's not what I meant... I meant it differently....

for example... sime things are better and more fun to do if your younger... and it's nice to have your parents finances them.... for example my friend got to go to japan for a high school exchange I really wanted to do that too...my parents couldn't afford it... now I'M 23 almost 24 i can't go back.and enjoy that time any more...she got to go again in university.... i can't afford that either.... I missed out on that too... most of the universitu students abraod tell 17-21... i want to be able to do things and keep up with people my age.... when I'M 54 I'M gonna be past that stage

.... I'M not home a fit in witness students... it's gonna be a time that i will have other priorities... 54... usually orientation have kids who are in university or high-school...u need to finance them...

That is exactly what you meant. Oh woe is me I can't do all these things I want to do. I'm hoping to go back to school when my grandson starts Kindergarten in a year. I'm not expecting my parents to pay for it either.

so far you've whined and complained about all your parents can't do for you. Well, grow up and do it for yourself. You'll learn more and it will mean more to you because you had to work for it.

[YaYaYaYana]

★☆

Guess it depends on the establishment. My husband bar tended in his youth, and did not go to bar tending school, nor did he make an incredible amount of money from it. But yes, you can make a decent living from bar tending.

If you are lucky to work as a bar -tender in a really upscale part of the city in a high end restaurant you can end up making as much as 1,000 bucks or over purely on tips... as tipping is 10% here.. and there is quite the high end drink called "king Louis" which costs $300.00 per glass!! Only mangers have the keys to get the bottle out!!!~ If a lot people order those you can get 30.00 tip off of each person who has a glass of that!!:)

I still only dream on working there!!

[applepansy]

I think I'M just upset cause I missed out on everything... getting older and still missing out....

The worst part is that my mother and I we pay thatching go to church and are obedient... we still after 20 years have nothing.... she can't support me I can't really support my self all that well either...

And the friend that I have been mentioning... openly hates God... Is a practicing lesbian..Her parents are atheist... and yet they are somehow blessed enough to be able to accomplish everything they want and able to for ancestors...... what is the point to bless that girl with the opprotunities she has..... she won't need them for her growth in the after life.... since there will probably be no after life for her...

I'm not coveting everything everyone else wants.... it's just that this high-school friends I use to have had simular goals as me... she is luving terrible sinful life style and gets everything and I dont

Well one of. My prayers now should be for God to take her blessings of prosperity away... and hand them down to me

Of course there will be an afterlife for her. She will be resurrected with the rest of us sinners and will face Christ too.

Edited August 29, 2012 by applepansy

[Bini]

I guess so.... I feel like a dumb a*** for complaining so much now...

I think I should make a list and post up of things that I am lucky enough to do or have or have been able to accomplish vs what I want and find a way to accomplish them .....

★☆

Instead of making a list and posting it, maybe consider when the last time was that you verbalised thanks or gratitude to your parents for everything that they've done and sacrificed for you.

[applepansy]

I guess so.... I feel like a dumb a*** for complaining so much now...

I think I should make a list and post up of things that I am lucky enough to do or have or have been able to accomplish vs what I want and find a way to accomplish them .....[/QUOTE]

Exactly. Count your blessings. Be genuinely thankful for every single one of them and quit calling you parents selfish for marrying young. Search out ways to help others even if its in small ways.

Then you'll be happy...... and then the blessings will come because you've learned and important lesson.

[applepansy]

If you are lucky to work as a bar -tender in a really upscale part of the city in a high end restaurant you can end up making as much as 1,000 bucks or over purely on tips... as tipping is 10% here.. and there is quite the high end drink called "king Louis" which costs $300.00 per glass!! Only mangers have the keys to get the bottle out!!!~ If a lot people order those you can get 30.00 tip off of each person who has a glass of that!!:)

I still only dream on working there!!

My sister put herself through nursing school as a cocktail waitress in Salt Lake City, Utah. She has her Bachelor's Degree.

There's nothing wrong with working hard at a good honest job. Serving drinks to people who drink is not dishonest work.

[YaYaYaYana]

That is exactly what you meant. Oh woe is me I can't do all these things I want to do. I'm hoping to go back to school when my grandson starts Kindergarten in a year. I'm not expecting my parents to pay for it either.

so far you've whined and complained about all your parents can't do for you. Well, grow up and do it for yourself. You'll learn more and it will mean more to you because you had to work for it.

~Yeah... sorry about the complaining.. I guess it had to come out somewhere... i don't wanna complain in real life though.. cause then I will loose all my friends @__@ ...Internet is a much better place to take out frustrations...

~ Even though I did complain ... I actually saved up enough to pay off my school... for the next four years... even though It's not an amazing university ... it's just a college down the street 10 min walk away from my home... but I can get a ( not my dream studies) but a good decent degree in a subject that is second to what I would have other wise chosen... I guess it will be ok ....

~ Are you just starting college @ age 54?? .....You will be stuck in a class room full of 17-25 year olds.....

Or are you doing a degree upgrade??

I was just wondering... cause in my college all the degree upgrades are in 40-50 age range

[YaYaYaYana]

My sister put herself through nursing school as a cocktail waitress in Salt Lake City, Utah. She has her Bachelor's Degree.

There's nothing wrong with working hard at a good honest job. Serving drinks to people who drink is not dishonest work.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DRINK IN UTAH?~

i thought it was mostly LDS that lived in that area...

[Backroads]

There's a fair amount of LDS folks, but yeah, it's hardly a pure Mormon state.

On other matters, yes, the internet is a great place to vent and it can be very frustrating to see people having things easy when you have to work hard for the same things.

Even so, your happiness is dependent on you. Not your parents, not your friends, not anyone else.

I hope your list goes well.

[YaYaYaYana]

I guess so.... I feel like a dumb a*** for complaining so much now...

I think I should make a list and post up of things that I am lucky enough to do or have or have been able to accomplish vs what I want and find a way to accomplish them .....[/QUOTE]

Exactly. Count your blessings. Be genuinely thankful for every single one of them and quit calling you parents selfish for marrying young. Search out ways to help others even if its in small ways.

Then you'll be happy...... and then the blessings will come because you've learned and important lesson.

- List of things I couldn't / can't do....

-Take Japanese lessons at Saturday school

- Go to a summer abroad in Japan

- DO a year long university exchange in Japan

-Take expensive personalized art lessons in High school

-Get a degree in east Asian studies....

- ATM get new clothes / expensive bag...

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Realizations

- Even though I didn't attend Japanese lessons... The friend that took expensive Japanese school... made a Japanese club in out high-school... Taught everything to me for free any ways... i even got to keep her old textbook for free

- Japan is not even the best place to be right now.. with all the earth quakes and disasters.. that have happened over the next year. ... even my friend who went abroad doesn't want to go back... and wants to stay in Canada for a while

- The East Asian Studied degree that she did for 4 years... Is actually a waste as it doesn't provide her with any solid job... It's only a base for further pursuit of education such as a masters ... or law school or teachers college which will eat up another 50,000 of her parents money....

- The friend lived in a university dorm ( expensive) Lived all on parents money ... is 21 years old and never work a day in her life ( looks bad on resume ... can't get job later.)

- New clothes/ Bag ... will get old and out dated anyways... can't take them with you to the after life when you die anyways .....

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Things I was able to do accomplish ( GOOD THINGS)

- Had an artistic drawing talent since I was young... even though I couldn't take expensive lessons... got into a free art high school ... EVERYTHING WAS FREE TO USE!!! Pencils/ paper/ expensive paper/chalk/ was able to take a 5th year or high school ( AVAILABLE IN CANADA!) for free and only did art classes came to school and drew all day every day for 8 hours not paying a penny for any supplies that i used

- graduated my art high school with every single art award ! (success)

- High school (sponsored) me to take a year ( certificate) program of design foundations @ a junior college for free...( MORE success)

- In a terrible economy was able to work for three years to pay for elective classes at college and work up more to save for the rest of college! Able to work 3 different jobs ( more experience for resume ) !!!~

- Now: Even though i had to quite two of my jobs for full time college in September... I can keep my burger shop job ....

-More good things: college --> 15min walk from my house job---> 20 min walk from college = save money on gas/ monthly travel pass save (126.00 per month)

- Even though I can't major in two of my passions ... i will have to live with it...

- Art .. I already did drawing and painting for 5 year in high school and 1.5 years in junior college = 6 year even sold a painting for 600,00!! To raise money for my high-school!!!.... don't need a bachelor degree in that anyways...

- East Asian studies... don't need to major in this ... if i think long and hard about it.. I did a good enough job self teaching my self the languages i wanted to learn... I even helped the students who actually pay for expensive lessons in school....

( I guess language learning and art will be more fun as a hobby since I will feel free and more enjoyment when i do it on my own terms and not stress over project and exams!!)

- Perusing a degree in special field of social work.. = government job and security... ( sure I won't be a millionaire.... but have don't have to worry about getting fired or being hungry or homeless....

- New clothes/ Expensive Bag/ and Make-up!

Just recently checked closet .. after reading a comment on my post that said what's the point if your clothes are new or second hand... I wanted to respond back saying.. old clothes have these little rolled up balls on them that make them look old... and went to check closet .... Actually all my clothes are new.... Worked for 3 years in jobs that required a uniform... Never worn most of my clothes except some dress for church on Sundays.... have enough new or slightly used clothes from friends... to last me my 4 years of college.... shouldn't even be allowed to buy more... since closet door can't close ...

Expensive Bag: I have a 200.00 guess bag ... My extremely rich friend threw it on the ground when her parents gave it to her because it wasn't a coach or Micheal Kors brand!!! ~I picked it up off the floor and she said I can have it <3

Got an expensive smart phone 2 months ago from her for free the same way <3

make up: I don;t really need it!!!~ My friend buy a lot because they need it...They are blond girls ... with blond eye lashes and eye brown that need mascara and eye make up and brow macer to make them stand out and look pretty!! Also they have straight thin boring hair that need to go to salons for expensive and pretty looking hair do's!!

me= thanks to Indians in my family I have Black wavy hair with lots of volume... Just need to wash and dry automatic hair style... Black eyes/ eye brows eyelashes... already stand out with out make up... don't need much foundation because skin is good most of the time.....

other good things ... 23 years old... every one thinks I'm 17-19... Good for fitting in college and making friends....

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Good things out weigh the bad things .. when I get mad at my mom for not having enough for me I should look at this .......

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Well, only thing that's missing is LOVE .............. Just need to graduate and start looking for men

[YaYaYaYana]

★☆

Instead of making a list and posting it, maybe consider when the last time was that you verbalised thanks or gratitude to your parents for everything that they've done and sacrificed for you.

That too needs to be done too... My dad is actually and in all true honesty ... an A** h*** and abusive and a non member ... we probably don't have enough money cause he hoards it.. and probably gambles... My mom and I found casino cards from him.. even though he denies it and says he only take customers up there... ( One of his job is a taxi driver) so he can easily make the excuse that he simply drops of a custonmer

[YaYaYaYana]

I really do think you aren't focused on what you should be wanting out of life. I'm sure you know that praying to God for your friend's blessings is a bad idea. I'm sure you're also aware that your friend will certainly have an afterlife--non-members don't simply vanish after death.

Many people look at blessings too simply. We were never promised that if we live righteously we will be blessed in exactly the ways we want--just that there will be blessings. We also can't look at material success as a definite sign of righteousness. There's a lot to be said for a mix of luck and hard work. So what if she is from a wealthy family? So what if life (not necessarily God) gave her opportunities you have to work for?

I made a list of my accomplishment... i feel better now...

I realized that she doesn't have the work experience and survival strength that I have...

Her mother is 60 and will go on pension soon... living on less... she will be emotionally destroyed .. Her blessing are only temporary at best I guess

[YaYaYaYana]

Good afternoon Yana! I hope you've been doing well. :)

I like what Windseeker says and I just feel compelled to point out to you, Yana, that the reason why you would not be happy even if you got everything you wished for, is because everything you have wished for is incapable of bringing your happiness. That is why I suggested in my first post that you need to change your priorities. Wish for things that will actually bring you happiness, work hard to obtain them, pray to God to receive them, and God will grant you those wishes. The lesson for all of us is to learn to know what actually brings happiness so that we will ask for the right things from God.

You can learn to know what actually brings happiness by studying the scriptures, by listening and reading the words of modern day prophets, by going to church, by praying to Heavenly Father, and by obeying the things that you read and hear from God.

It might seem so unglamorous; or it might seem mundane but, there it is, the answer to true and lasting happiness is found in those things you have probably been taught all of your life. Pray to God, study the scriptures, listen to the prophets, and obey and apply what you learn from the gospel. Trust in these things. Believe in them. Accept them with all your heart and start applying it in your life. Do it even if you don't think it will help you or even if you think that what you want right now is the only thing that will make you happy. Once you begin to accept the gospel in its entirety and you begin to trust in the principles of the gospel and you begin to apply these things in your life, then you will begin to see what so many others here see and you will understand some of the reactions you have received. But, more importantly, you will have an understanding of what it means to be really happy and you will be able to know the principles that you can use to judge the decisions you want to make in life.

Regards,

Finrock

Thanks ... You see I haven't been to a LDS ward for like 3 years .. I've been attending my friends Korean church for language practice ... maybe I should go back one of these days

[Finrock]

Thanks

You're welcome.

maybe I should go back one of these days

I very much encourage you to start going back to an LDS ward. Do it this Sunday and don't stop going. :)

Respectfully,

Finrock

[Leah]

In fact yes I do think I am entitled to a better life... In fact you are too! Everyone on this forums is who is LDS or even Christian.... All the best opportunities belong to us... I went to my friends church to hear her Korean pastor preaching....he said Christian are not ment to live in poverty sickness and despair... we are God's inheritance. And are suppose to recieve the best and be the first to recieve everything.... Atheists/ buddhist/ involved are suppose to suffer... not Chritians... and also that It's.every parents responsibly to provide for their children so that they always have more than enough......

And the things I mentioned are not selfish... maybe back in the day all the parents had to do was provide till high-school... because even out of high school people were able to get great jobs....for which nowadays a person. Needs a bachelor degree to qualify.....So parents are suppose to provide until college and uni... and if in that time span a travelling abroad if required parents should cover that educational cost..... if some one wants to go abroad just to party... than paretns can make them pay their own money....

Number 2 I am not lazy... I worked to.make enough money to cover my whole 4year tuition...by this time I should be graduating and working...but due to my parents making bad life choice of early marriage and not saving enough money..... I have to make majo sacrifices... because I can only afford so much on my student job salary.....

You've indicated that you are LDS. Have you ever read the Book of Mormon? Have you ever paid attention in church or Sunday School or anywhere?

We are here in the mortal life to be tested. We WILL suffer. Suffering is part of life. That's guaranteed. Not having fancy clothes or vacations is NOT suffering. Having to work for the things you want is NOT suffering. Still going to school at the age of 23 is NOT suffering. You haven't the faintest idea of what suffering is.

What matters is how we respond to those tests and that suffering and what we learn from them. If you don't learn, you will indeed suffer....and in ways you cannot possibly imagine.

You think your parents should provide "more than enough"? That's one of the most absurd, self-entitled statements I have ever heard! Why should you have MORE than enough, when others have nothing?

My late husband had his right leg amputated in order to save his life. They cut off his leg and left a massive wound that took months and additional surgeries and enormous amounts of pain to heal. He had to learn how to do EVERYTHING differently. And just when he thought life was getting back to some semblance of normal, they found that the same problem that took his leg had damaged his heart so badly that there was nothing they could do and they sent him home to die. He had to live the last few months of his life without a leg, in pain, and knowing that death was drawing ever closer. He was terrified. He didn't have the gospel so he had to live with the thought of never seeing his family again. He didn't get to make it to his first wedding anniversary. THAT was suffering. And he didn't whine ONCE.

I've got to leave this thread. Makes my head spin and my heart hurt. You are going to miss out on all of the good and important things in life with that mindset.

[pam]

Seems like we are dealing with the "entitlement" mentality.

[applepansy]

~Yeah... sorry about the complaining.. I guess it had to come out somewhere... i don't wanna complain in real life though.. cause then I will loose all my friends @__@ ...Internet is a much better place to take out frustrations...

~ Even though I did complain ... I actually saved up enough to pay off my school... for the next four years... even though It's not an amazing university ... it's just a college down the street 10 min walk away from my home... but I can get a ( not my dream studies) but a good decent degree in a subject that is second to what I would have other wise chosen... I guess it will be ok ....

~ Are you just starting college @ age 54?? .....You will be stuck in a class room full of 17-25 year olds.....

Or are you doing a degree upgrade??

I was just wondering... cause in my college all the degree upgrades are in 40-50 age range

Sort of starting over. I had to let my license go when I got sick. Having my grandson the last three years has helped "rehab" my physically. I'm still in constant pain but a career change will be good and there is a market for what I'm thinking about doing. Yes I'll be going to school with 20-30yos. Happy to do it. 54 is young. I have at least another 20 years I can work if I can make my body be obedient.

[applepansy]

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DRINK IN UTAH?~

i thought it was mostly LDS that lived in that area...

In Salt Lake City the percentage is about 50% LDS. Yes there is drinking in Utah and there always has been. There are a lot of myths about Utah. Not everyone who lives here is a Mormon.

The legislature keeps changing the liquor laws to attract more and more conventions.

Edited August 29, 2012 by applepansy

[applepansy]

Thanks ... You see I haven't been to a LDS ward for like 3 years .. I've been attending my friends Korean church for language practice ... maybe I should go back one of these days

The sooner the better. Read the Book of Mormon and find your ward. Get active.

I also recommend a daily blessings journal. It helps keeps things in perspective.

[pam]

Sort of starting over. I had to let my license go when I got sick. Having my grandson the last three years has helped "rehab" my physically. I'm still in constant pain but a career change will be good and there is a market for what I'm thinking about doing. Yes I'll be going to school with 20-30yos. Happy to do it. 54 is young. I have at least another 20 years I can work if I can make my body be obedient.

Funny you should mention this. I've been researching for the last couple of hours about going back to school myself. I too, would basically be starting over. I hate to admit but it's been almost 40 years since I went to college. But I wouldn't be going back to further a career (though it may not hurt) but to do it for myself. It's on my bucket list to finally get my degree.

[applepansy]

Funny you should mention this. I've been researching for the last couple of hours about going back to school myself. I too, would basically be starting over. I hate to admit but it's been almost 40 years since I went to college. But I wouldn't be going back to further a career (though it may not hurt) but to do it for myself. It's on my bucket list to finally get my degree.

I can't do patient care anymore. My body can't do it. But I can do the work of an MA. Certification only takes a year. I'm hoping I can figure out how to do it when my grandson starts school in a year. I would be done by the time he starts 1st grade. Then we'd have insurance.