Windseeker Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Sorry didn't mean to hijack this thread. The OP has shared her thoughts about suicide in other posts before so I thought I would mention it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I wasn't targeting you or anyone else, Leah. On the contrary, I usually agree with what you post. I was making a general statement about Yana. She seems obviously unhappy, and I think her opinions both reflect and invite that unhappiness. My post was intended as a "best-wishes" for Yana, not as a "tsk-tsk" for anyone else.I totally agree...opinions/attitudes can invite unhappiness. I am thinking that this entitlement generation is in for a great deal of unhappiness without a change of attitude.I know there are those who think I deserve their pity because all I can afford at this stage in life (with much debt left from my husband's illness/death) is to rent a room from a stranger (and not even have my own bathroom!)...NOT travel...NOT have expensive hobbies...drive an old beater and wear second-hand clothes....but I am deliriously happy because someone was prompted to share the gospel with me, and in a few weeks time, I will go to the temple to receive my endowment. I wouldn't trade that for any amount of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Sorry didn't mean to hijack this thread. The OP has shared her thoughts about suicide in other posts before so I thought I would mention it.You didn't.This whole thing reminds me of a poem I memorized decades ago:Happiness is like a butterflyThe more you chase it The more it will elude youBut...Turn your thoughts to other thingsAnd it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.--Unknown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 No, it is NOT your parents "responsibility" to give you those "opportunities". If you want to travel, get off your butt and earn the money to do it, instead of sitting around whining and disrespecting your parents. If you want an education (which you clearly need), get off your butt, earn some money, apply for financial aid....and go instead of sitting around and whining.No parent is required to pay for a college education. As a parent, I certainly wouldn't want to spend my hard-earned money on an education for a child with an attitude such as yours. It would be money wasted.If you aren't graduating now when you think you should be, the onus is on you, and you only. YOU could have made it happen. It was YOUR responsibility and yours only. Thousands of people do it every year.Stop your whining and grow up.In fact yes I do think I am entitled to a better life... In fact you are too! Everyone on this forums is who is LDS or even Christian.... All the best opportunities belong to us... I went to my friends church to hear her Korean pastor preaching....he said Christian are not ment to live in poverty sickness and despair... we are God's inheritance. And are suppose to recieve the best and be the first to recieve everything.... Atheists/ buddhist/ involved are suppose to suffer... not Chritians... and also that It's.every parents responsibly to provide for their children so that they always have more than enough......And the things I mentioned are not selfish... maybe back in the day all the parents had to do was provide till high-school... because even out of high school people were able to get great jobs....for which nowadays a person. Needs a bachelor degree to qualify.....So parents are suppose to provide until college and uni... and if in that time span a travelling abroad if required parents should cover that educational cost..... if some one wants to go abroad just to party... than paretns can make them pay their own money....Number 2 I am not lazy... I worked to.make enough money to cover my whole 4year tuition...by this time I should be graduating and working...but due to my parents making bad life choice of early marriage and not saving enough money..... I have to make majo sacrifices... because I can only afford so much on my student job salary..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Atheists and buddhists are supposed to suffer?! Yeah, that's a real Christian attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Huh...I guess Jesus Christ wasn't a Christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) In fact yes I do think I am entitled to a better life... In fact you are too! Everyone on this forums is who is LDS or even Christian.... All the best opportunities belong to us... I went to my friends church to hear her Korean pastor preaching....he said Christian are not ment to live in poverty sickness and despair... we are God's inheritance. And are suppose to recieve the best and be the first to recieve everything.... Atheists/ buddhist/ involved are suppose to suffer... not Chritians... and also that It's.every parents responsibly to provide for their children so that they always have more than enough......And the things I mentioned are not selfish... maybe back in the day all the parents had to do was provide till high-school... because even out of high school people were able to get great jobs....for which nowadays a person. Needs a bachelor degree to qualify.....So parents are suppose to provide until college and uni... and if in that time span a travelling abroad if required parents should cover that educational cost..... if some one wants to go abroad just to party... than paretns can make them pay their own money....Number 2 I am not lazy... I worked to.make enough money to cover my whole 4year tuition...by this time I should be graduating and working...but due to my parents making bad life choice of early marriage and not saving enough money..... I have to make majo sacrifices... because I can only afford so much on my student job salary.....uhhhh....NO! We helped pay for two years of college for our daughter who frittered it away. She can pay her own way and she'll appreciate it more for doing so.Parents do NOT owe their children an education. You can't seem to get past that basic fact of life.Due to your parents choices? What about your choices? You get to decide. They decided to get married and start a family. Now you get to decide to look the positive in live which include hard work or dwell on the negatives of entitlement. Your selfish attitude is not your parents fault. Edited August 28, 2012 by applepansy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Atheists and buddhists are supposed to suffer?! Yeah, that's a real Christian attitude.Most defiantly you don't believe in God and axcept Jesus... than you don't get the blessing or prosperity .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Most defiantly you don't believe in God and axcept Jesus... than you don't get the blessing or prosperity ..Right... what world are you living in? Have you not seen the pictures of the palaces and cars owned in Arab countries? Have you seen the pictures of Dubai? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Here's another quote which apples to you YaYaA person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still --Unknown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 uhhhh....NO! We helped pay for two years of college for our daughter who frittered it away. She can pay her own way and she'll appreciate it more for doing so.Parents do NOT owe their children an education. You can't seem to get past that basic fact of life.unfortunately... that is the mind set in North America.... and I guess the reason is thanks to people like your daughter who waste it.... than in that case thoae people do n't deserve the help from their parents...Even though I am Canadian. Most of my friends are international students from asia....their parents pay for all of their education...they say their parents owe it to them... to pay.... and in return... they don't waste a penny... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I got to travel when I was 15. A girl in Austria wanted to do an exchange. Because I had been saving my money since I was in 4th grade, I was able to pay for half of my flight and my parents covered the rest. I told them, "If you let me go, I'll give you everything in my savings." I also took four years of German at school, which didn't cost anything. I spent 5 weeks in Austria and also got to see a little bit of Italy and Germany.That as quite responsible of you... you parents should have praised you for your maturity... but agreed to pay everything for your flight and living expenses.... and tild you to use your hard earned money, for shopping and hanging out.and anything else that you want....MY friend who went to japan.. also saved up money though here parents did what i stated above... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I guess it's all a big cultural difference. In the U.S., no thinks twice about parents helping with college and whatnot, but at the same time, applepansy is right--we of the U.S. generally expect people to help themselves. Anything beyond that is just help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finrock Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Good afternoon Yana! I hope you've been doing well. :)If you got everything you wished for right now, I can promise you, you would not be as happy as you imagine.I like what Windseeker says and I just feel compelled to point out to you, Yana, that the reason why you would not be happy even if you got everything you wished for, is because everything you have wished for is incapable of bringing your happiness. That is why I suggested in my first post that you need to change your priorities. Wish for things that will actually bring you happiness, work hard to obtain them, pray to God to receive them, and God will grant you those wishes. The lesson for all of us is to learn to know what actually brings happiness so that we will ask for the right things from God.You can learn to know what actually brings happiness by studying the scriptures, by listening and reading the words of modern day prophets, by going to church, by praying to Heavenly Father, and by obeying the things that you read and hear from God.It might seem so unglamorous; or it might seem mundane but, there it is, the answer to true and lasting happiness is found in those things you have probably been taught all of your life. Pray to God, study the scriptures, listen to the prophets, and obey and apply what you learn from the gospel. Trust in these things. Believe in them. Accept them with all your heart and start applying it in your life. Do it even if you don't think it will help you or even if you think that what you want right now is the only thing that will make you happy. Once you begin to accept the gospel in its entirety and you begin to trust in the principles of the gospel and you begin to apply these things in your life, then you will begin to see what so many others here see and you will understand some of the reactions you have received. But, more importantly, you will have an understanding of what it means to be really happy and you will be able to know the principles that you can use to judge the descisions you want to make in life.Regards,Finrock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 That as quite responsible of you... you parents should have praised you for your maturity... but agreed to pay everything for your flight and living expenses.... and tild you to use your hard earned money, for shopping and hanging out.and anything else that you want....MY friend who went to japan.. also saved up money though here parents did what i stated above...Why the SHOULD? What is wrong with saving up for something you want? What if the parents couldn't have afforded to send their child? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Seriously, Yana, how old are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 You're only hearing what you want to hear. Parents in Asia - Japan and Korea included - pay for their child's college degree because... you ready? They are investing on their retirement! Yes, Yaya... Asian children are their retirement plan. There is no government assistance for senior citizens there. Therefore, the better off your children are, the more they'll have money to support you when you get old and need to buy $7,000/month worth of chemo drugs. It's the cultural expectation.So yeah, if you intend to pay for your parents' retirement and medical care when they retire, you may whine about them not putting you through college.Yes usually the oldest so. Or daughter takes the parents to live with them when they get old....there is nothing wrong with that! I Would much rather do that and have my parents pay everything for me.now.... because enjoying life is for the young.... when you are older you... than give up your life to raise children. And work and take care of parents which is fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 unfortunately... that is the mind set in North America.... and I guess the reason is thanks to people like your daughter who waste it.... than in that case thoae people do n't deserve the help from their parents...Even though I am Canadian. Most of my friends are international students from asia....their parents pay for all of their education...they say their parents owe it to them... to pay.... and in return... they don't waste a penny...Yaya, have you considered that your study abroad friends might not be an accurate representatives of the economic status of all the people of their respective countries?..btw I'm sorry you're Canadian..even that is in your power to change ..eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I don't feel that I've given up my life to raise children. They enrich my life and fulfill me, when they're not driving me crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I Would much rather do that and have my parents pay everything for me.now.... because enjoying life is for the young.... when you are older you... than give up your life to raise children.Do you suppose your viewpoint might change as you grow up and become one of those older folks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 How am I supposed to anticipate the frivilous desires of my unborn child? What if neither me or my husband feels like slaving away in high-paying jobs we hate just so future children can world-travel on our dime? If we decide that Japanese lessons or dance lessons is something we really want to do, we will look at the budget at the time and see what we can do. Unless I become fabulously wealthy, I also have no intention of paying for 100% for my children's education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 This topic has shifted gears, drastically.Self-entitlement is not God's plan. Accomplishments through humility and honest work is. The Lord did not create parents to cripple children by granting their every desire and every wish. The role of parenthood is to love, nurture and teach children the tools in becoming self-sufficient and productive adults. No one is entitled to a dream by the brow sweat of another.Should a married couple postpone having a family until they can afford to pay college for each theoretical child? NO. And for those that come from families that are able to do this, that's a wonderful blessing, and is a privilege, not a right.I still maintain my previous posts. I believe there is preparation to be considered prior to marriage and starting a family. But I'll reiterate, there is no ideal age for either. I firmly believe that through humility and prayer, God guides and gives blessings that no dollar sign can amount to. A married couple that lives paycheque to paycheque, having much difficulty making ends meet, have limitless opportunities in store for them and their children if they have trust in the Lord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I don't feel that I've given up my life to raise children. They enrich my life and fulfill me, when they're not driving me crazy.I think this is the healthy way to look at it. Thanks, Eowyn.I really despise our culture that expects parents to give up their lives and happiness for their children. It leads to two opposing view points: 1) Children are a burden that suck out all the fun in life and should be avoided at all costs.vs.2) You, your dreams, your hobbies, your interests, your personality, etc, must completely disappear in order for society to consider you a good parent.I've seen studies showing both views as extremely unhealthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Yes usually the oldest so. Or daughter takes the parents to live with them when they get old....there is nothing wrong with that! I Would much rather do that and have my parents pay everything for me.now.... because enjoying life is for the young.... when you are older you... than give up your life to raise children. And work and take care of parents which is fineSo because I'm 54 I can't enjoy life? I enjoy every day! I'm grateful for every day! I'm grateful the struggles and the ups and downs. I'm grateful for the hardships. They are what made me who I am today and I'm HAPPY and enjoying life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 So because I'm 54 I can't enjoy life? I enjoy every day!Then clearly, you're doing it wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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