MorningStar Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 If you get pregnant with twins in China, you have to abort one of them. So awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 That's not true... Maybe closer to 35-38....You don't necessarily need to save up everything by the time a baby is born... Just 5,000 for college fund that would grow automatically over the 20 years... and just save up some more for expenses for the kid along the wayWhy do you think parents owe it to their children to finance their college education? Don't you think that's the young adult's job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 So far you have all ignored the odds against young marraige.......................... Just saying:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Why do you think parents owe it to their children to finance their college education? Don't you think that's the young adult's job?Why do you think parents owe it to their children to finance their college education? Don't you think that's the young adult's job?-No, not really... This is a terrible mind set of north American...When i met a lot of my friends at Japanese and Korean language exchanges... one of the main differences there is that parents have children when they are around 30 or older... And most of them... support their children until they are themselves around 30... ( Including all of university and traveling abroad)Most of my friends from Korea and Japan are international students in Canada .. their parents pay their whole tuition and rent and give them spending money... - They say that they are enjoying their life ... one Korean lady that I met was 34 and has a baby now... she said that is they way things should be ... her parents paid for to study in japan and us.. she had an amazing time in her youth .. now that she is a parent she will put in the same effort to set those fiances aside for her children as well... -The way that they break it down... 27-33 is the ideal time for marriage... and all of them keep telling me that I'm extremely young and need to be studying / traveling/ working and enjoying my self .....and it's the parents responsibility to give me those opportunities...- Unfortunately I was born to a life not worth living... I constantly see other people living my dreams...which is horrible... I'm terribly depressed most of the time and tell my parents that it would have been better if I wasn't born at all than to be alive and suffer like this ... - I mean I want to travel now... I want to be graduated now and should be starting a career and working for 3 years until I'm 27 ... instead im just starting....school now... thanks to my Stupid parents that couldn't save up and provide for me the way they were suppose to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I feel very, very sorry for you, Yana. But not for the reasons you feel sorry for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaYaYaYana Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I feel very, very sorry for you, Yana. But not for the reasons you feel sorry for yourself.What are you reasons than??~ Feel free to state them ... I don't take offense easily so it's OK... In fact I'm Interested in hearing them ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddenex Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 That's not true... Maybe closer to 35-38....You don't necessarily need to save up everything by the time a baby is born... Just 5,000 for college fund that would grow automatically over the 20 years... and just save up some more for expenses for the kid along the wayYes, unfortunately it is true in China. As a result of the one child policy, and the desire for a male child, unfortunately baby girls are either aborted or have been drowned at birth.When a woman is above the age 35, they are automatically placed in what is called a "high risk" pregnancy. Pregnancy, due to age, is harder on a woman's body.What makes you think you will be more mature when you are 35 - 38 to have children? Maturity, is a result of experience and character, not financial position. YaYa, a person looses a lot of credibility when they begin to mock third world countries. I have never understood the arrogance of people who think they know more than a loving father and mother, God revering, who are poor, and seek to tell them they have had to many children because they are poor, and that they would have been better off to have 1 or 2 children, verse 5 - 6. A person looses a lot of credibility also, when they begin to knock and bring more pain upon their parents due to their financial circumstances. I am not saying this is you, and I hope it isn't, however when I hear some of your language I am reminded of my brother's experience of hearing a young women say, "Can you believe it, my parents bought me a Honda, instead of a BMW or Mercedes. What jerks." Very sad way of thinking and thought, which is usually a by product of financially indulging parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 · Hidden Hidden What are you reasons than??~ Feel free to state them ... I don't take offense easily so it's OK... In fact I'm Interested in hearing them ...You are perhaps the most profoundly ungrateful person I have ever read on this list. Your sense of entitlement is absolutely staggering. Your contempt for those who do not have money and/or live in a third-world country is palpable. You appear to lack the most basic social grace of tolerance and even a modicum of self-awareness. You are most obviously unhappy, and with the attitude and utter lack of introspective understanding that you demonstrate, I see little chance that you will find happiness any time soon.I hope I am wrong, but I doubt it. Link to comment
Leah Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 IT it not vastly overated... I would much rather have a 10 year old kid by the time I'M 40 and when she asks me.. "mom" I want to take jaoanese lessons at saturday school... or dance lessons.. or have a birthday party ata specific place....and wants to invite a certaun mount of friends over.... I want to be able to afford all ofthat... and not be the mother that has to tell her kids that write can't afford that.... or later on in life have to tell my kifs tt you can't go to this school...becuase I'M too poor to pay for the dorm....and tell them that they need to take out student loans becuase i can't support their education.....-as with my friend and me.... we are the same age almost...she is 21 her mother who took time to study become a lawyer and had her at 38 just paid off her under grad education...during these 4years she was able to go o. A year long exchange program to japan.. and is niw goung again to do masters in music over there... as her dream was to be a music manager over there since she was 14...... her older parents that bothered to build up finances Gave her a life that she enjoys....a life that enabled her to also bexome accomplished and soon start to build up her own finance..... so she would do that same for her chuldren some day...I being 23.... being to a mother in her Young 20's who hasn't bothered to build up her carer or stable finances....suffered for 23 years... always having to. SEttle for second hand or second best simply because we couldnot nd still cannot afford it...And I remind my mother every day about it... when I go out to work everydayjust to make some.money to cover text book cost and tuition costs by slaving my butt of in a burger sh which leaves me no time to pursuers hobbies or dreams at the end of the day.... because i am trying to survive on the the bare minimum...... I tell my mother every day about how could she be so selfish....and that It would havemo been better is i was born in 1999 when she was 34 instead of 1989 when she was 24.......now you tell me if it's selfish to wait... and put off.family for a short time.. in order to become accomplished and build up funances that would benifit your family in the long run......I KNOW IT WOULD HAVE DONE A LOT OF GOOD FOR ME ...what was the point of me being born early 10 years.... only to live a life that i need to.endure instead of enjoyI see the entitlement mentality is in full rage here.The selfishness I see here is in your attitude. All you can think about is yourself and your lust for material things and your laziness in wanting to "pursue hobbies" instead of working and earning your keep. It's YOUR education, you SHOULD work for it. Especially when it is clear you do not in any way appreciate what others - including your mother - do for you. You're an adult, why should your mother be supporting you? Especially when you have no gratitude or appreciation?To tell your mother that she is selfish is very selfish of YOU....and hugely disrespectful.Wearing second-hand clothes is not "enduring" There is absolutely no suffering involved in wearing second-hand clothes. You have clothing to wear. What difference does if make if it's new or a hand-me-down?I don't think that someone your age is too young to marry, but someone with your serious lack of maturity is no where near close to being ready for marriage. Selfishness and entitlement have no place in marriage, and you clearly have a long ways to go in getting rid of those traits.If you want new clothes...if you want an education....quit your whining, get off your fanny and work for them.Not getting material things handed to you on a silver platter is NOT 'suffering'. Not getting to travel is NOT 'suffering'. Not getting to be lazy and expect others to do everything for you is NOT 'suffering'. I feel sorry for you when true suffering comes your way (and it will...it comes to all of us) as you clearly haven't the skills to deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Today my 10-year-old told me he is saving his money for his mission and college. I feel so proud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 · Hidden Hidden Today my 10-year-old told me he is saving his money for his mission and college. I feel so proud!What?! You mean you don't feel ashamed and embarrassed that you didn't wait an extra ten years before having him and his siblings so that you could simply write him a check? Link to comment
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 So far you have all ignored the odds against young marraige..........................Just saying:pAge at marriage for those who divorce in America Age Women Men Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7% 20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%Looks like those who marry before 20 do a very great deal better than those who marry later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 -No, not really... This is a terrible mind set of north American...When i met a lot of my friends at Japanese and Korean language exchanges... one of the main differences there is that parents have children when they are around 30 or older... And most of them... support their children until they are themselves around 30... ( Including all of university and traveling abroad)Most of my friends from Korea and Japan are international students in Canada .. their parents pay their whole tuition and rent and give them spending money... - They say that they are enjoying their life ... one Korean lady that I met was 34 and has a baby now... she said that is they way things should be ... her parents paid for to study in japan and us.. she had an amazing time in her youth .. now that she is a parent she will put in the same effort to set those fiances aside for her children as well... -The way that they break it down... 27-33 is the ideal time for marriage... and all of them keep telling me that I'm extremely young and need to be studying / traveling/ working and enjoying my self .....and it's the parents responsibility to give me those opportunities...- Unfortunately I was born to a life not worth living... I constantly see other people living my dreams...which is horrible... I'm terribly depressed most of the time and tell my parents that it would have been better if I wasn't born at all than to be alive and suffer like this ... - I mean I want to travel now... I want to be graduated now and should be starting a career and working for 3 years until I'm 27 ... instead im just starting....school now... thanks to my Stupid parents that couldn't save up and provide for me the way they were suppose to ...No, it is NOT your parents "responsibility" to give you those "opportunities". If you want to travel, get off your butt and earn the money to do it, instead of sitting around whining and disrespecting your parents. If you want an education (which you clearly need), get off your butt, earn some money, apply for financial aid....and go instead of sitting around and whining.No parent is required to pay for a college education. As a parent, I certainly wouldn't want to spend my hard-earned money on an education for a child with an attitude such as yours. It would be money wasted.If you aren't graduating now when you think you should be, the onus is on you, and you only. YOU could have made it happen. It was YOUR responsibility and yours only. Thousands of people do it every year.Stop your whining and grow up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I got to travel when I was 15. A girl in Austria wanted to do an exchange. Because I had been saving my money since I was in 4th grade, I was able to pay for half of my flight and my parents covered the rest. I told them, "If you let me go, I'll give you everything in my savings." I also took four years of German at school, which didn't cost anything. I spent 5 weeks in Austria and also got to see a little bit of Italy and Germany. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) I never said you have to be a millionaire Either ... but you should plan to have saving to have a kid... just as you save up for other things such as a house/ car.. The only thing is that the kid is more important because it will be a human being with hopes and dreams... and he/she will depend look up to parents to provide for him/her...And in my honest opinion... If third world counties would stop reproducing so much it would be great.. They have horrible finances .. and have 5/6 kids who end up eating garbage / orphaned in danger .... and now depend on foreign aid to rescue them...China for instance... is a smart country that has got the right Idea " The one child policy"...If in the other countries.. a one or 2 child policy was put in ... things would be better.... No one really needs to have 5 of 6 children.... 1or 2 could bring just as much joy and things would be more affordable on the parents and also the child will be able to do more with the finances set aside....Even though that is kind of mean... this is what I think... a lot of 3rd world countries/ children would benefit from it...How old are you, Yaya? I know it's a forward question so you don't have to answer it, of course. It's just that people usually grow out of this mindset by the time they hit 21, so I get where you're coming from if you're younger than that.But let me just enlighten you a bit. China doesn't have the "1 child policy" because they can't afford it. The "1 child policy" is only in effect in the urban areas - where most of the affluent people reside - and only limited to the Hans (majority race). People who live in rural areas are exempt from the law as well as minority groups and foreign nationals. So, the 1 Child Policy has nothing at all to do with the financial stability of Chinese families.In the Philippines, and same in China as well, your family is your treasure. The bigger the family, the greater the treasure. We are very clannish because family enterprises are expanded through the children. Small Filipino families are considered very poor. There is no welfare state in the Philippines. Families take care of its own. Therefore, my father who is currently fighting lung cancer, is blessed because he has a whole slew of brothers and sisters as well as his own children who can help finance his chemo therapy drugs. Most Filipinos don't have Social Security and Medicare. But, if you put your grandma in a retirement home, you are very unfortunate indeed! Families take care of their seniors. And yes, parents take care of their children and children take care of their parents no matter what age. It's a clannish relationship.Therefore, if you limit Filipino families to 1 child per family, you will have a giant economic decline as seniors will have to be provided for by the government, sick people will die for lack of financial support and family enterprises that provide the backbone of the economy in the rural areas will be a thing of the past.So yeah, this anti-family mindset does not work there. Actually, it doesn't work in most parts of the world. Edited August 28, 2012 by anatess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 -No, not really... This is a terrible mind set of north American...When i met a lot of my friends at Japanese and Korean language exchanges... one of the main differences there is that parents have children when they are around 30 or older... And most of them... support their children until they are themselves around 30... ( Including all of university and traveling abroad)Most of my friends from Korea and Japan are international students in Canada .. their parents pay their whole tuition and rent and give them spending money... - They say that they are enjoying their life ... one Korean lady that I met was 34 and has a baby now... she said that is they way things should be ... her parents paid for to study in japan and us.. she had an amazing time in her youth .. now that she is a parent she will put in the same effort to set those fiances aside for her children as well... -The way that they break it down... 27-33 is the ideal time for marriage... and all of them keep telling me that I'm extremely young and need to be studying / traveling/ working and enjoying my self .....and it's the parents responsibility to give me those opportunities...- Unfortunately I was born to a life not worth living... I constantly see other people living my dreams...which is horrible... I'm terribly depressed most of the time and tell my parents that it would have been better if I wasn't born at all than to be alive and suffer like this ... - I mean I want to travel now... I want to be graduated now and should be starting a career and working for 3 years until I'm 27 ... instead im just starting....school now... thanks to my Stupid parents that couldn't save up and provide for me the way they were suppose to ...You're only hearing what you want to hear. Parents in Asia - Japan and Korea included - pay for their child's college degree because... you ready? They are investing on their retirement! Yes, Yaya... Asian children are their retirement plan. There is no government assistance for senior citizens there. Therefore, the better off your children are, the more they'll have money to support you when you get old and need to buy $7,000/month worth of chemo drugs. It's the cultural expectation.So yeah, if you intend to pay for your parents' retirement and medical care when they retire, you may whine about them not putting you through college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 To learn what parents' responsibilities are to their children read this.To learn how covetousness affects our happiness read this.Quote from above: "I repeat that I wish everyone might have some of the good things of life, but I hope our desire will not come of covetousness, which is an evil and gnawing disease. I think of many of our younger single and married members; I hope that you will be modest in your physical wants. You do not need everything that you might wish. And the very struggle of your younger years will bring a sweetness and security to your later life."Connie's tip : Count your blessings. Look at all the good things you have in life. Be grateful. And you will be a much happier person.Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 In her defense, Yana is demonstrating nothing beyond the common mentality of the rising generation. She should not be made the focal point or scapegoat for the increasingly common attitude she shares with literally millions of others. It is a sad attitude, one that leads inevitably to despair. For Yana's sake, I hope she can outgrow it. In the meantime, I must agree that everyone is better off if she and those who share her views avoid parenthood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 In her defense, Yana is demonstrating nothing beyond the common mentality of the rising generation. She should not be made the focal point or scapegoat for the increasingly common attitude she shares with literally millions of others. It is a sad attitude, one that leads inevitably to despair. For Yana's sake, I hope she can outgrow it. In the meantime, I must agree that everyone is better off if she and those who share her views avoid parenthood.She posted HER views. If she doesn't want people to respond to HER views, then she should refrain from posting. She makes no apology for her attitude. It's interesting that you feel compelled to.And just because "everyone else is doing it" doesn't make it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I'm terribly depressed most of the time and tell my parents that it would have been better if I wasn't born at all than to be alive and suffer like this ... Stupid parents that couldn't save up and provide for me the way they were suppose to ...My brother at this moment sits in a hospital in Honolulu with two broken ankles and a broken wrist from jumping off a 3 story building at the airport in an attempt to end his life. He blames everything on my parents. He is unable to take any responsibility for any of the decisions in his life. You deserve so much better than to think this way. I would suggest you look into cognitive therapy. Check out Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. P. Seligman. Scientific study of happiness shows that only 10% of happiness comes from circumstances (rich,poor), 50% comes from genetics, and 40% is up to us. Think about 40% ownership in a company..it's allot more than you think. You can truly change your outlook and find happiness, you just need to start thinking differently. If you got everything you wished for right now, I can promise you, you would not be as happy as you imagine. One day you will realize what a blessing our struggles are. For most of us it's the only way we grow. For all of us that growth is one of the few things we take with us to the next life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) I really wish this wad wrong...From the wards i attended and those that i heard attended build said they really felt the pressure therea quick search at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints of the word Education will take you to a lot of links about what the church thinks about education.So accept it or not...your choice.... but the fact of remains the the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourages all young people to get an education!Why worry about education? Because learning is how we prepare to serve both now and in eternity. --Pres Eyring Edited August 28, 2012 by applepansy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 My brother at this moment sits in a hospital in Honolulu with two broken ankles and a broken wrist from jumping off a 3 story building at the airport in an attempt to end his life. He blames everything on my parents. He is unable to take any responsibility for any of the decisions in his life. You deserve so much better than to think this way. I would suggest you look into cognitive therapy. Check out Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. P. Seligman. Scientific study of happiness shows that only 10% of happiness comes from circumstances (rich,poor), 50% comes from genetics, and 40% is up to us. Think about 40% ownership in a company..it's allot more than you think. You can truly change your outlook and find happiness, you just need to start thinking differently. If you got everything you wished for right now, I can promise you, you would not be as happy as you imagine. One day you will realize what a blessing our struggles are. For most of us it's the only way we grow. For all of us that growth is one of the few things we take with us to the next life. I'm so sorry to hear it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 She posted HER views. If she doesn't want people to respond to HER views, then she should refrain from posting. She makes no apology for her attitude. It's interesting that you feel compelled to.And just because "everyone else is doing it" doesn't make it right.I wasn't targeting you or anyone else, Leah. On the contrary, I usually agree with what you post. I was making a general statement about Yana. She seems obviously unhappy, and I think her opinions both reflect and invite that unhappiness. My post was intended as a "best-wishes" for Yana, not as a "tsk-tsk" for anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 My brother at this moment sits in a hospital in Honolulu with two broken ankles and a broken wrist from jumping off a 3 story building at the airport in an attempt to end his life. He blames everything on my parents. He is unable to take any responsibility for any of the decisions in his life. You deserve so much better than to think this way. I would suggest you look into cognitive therapy. Check out Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. P. Seligman. Scientific study of happiness shows that only 10% of happiness comes from circumstances (rich,poor), 50% comes from genetics, and 40% is up to us. Think about 40% ownership in a company..it's allot more than you think. You can truly change your outlook and find happiness, you just need to start thinking differently. If you got everything you wished for right now, I can promise you, you would not be as happy as you imagine. One day you will realize what a blessing our struggles are. For most of us it's the only way we grow. For all of us that growth is one of the few things we take with us to the next life.I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I hope he recovers quickly and can get some help with whatever he's dealing with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) Here's another talk from the Prophet for you YaYaThe Divine Gift of Gratitude - general-conferenceA grateful heart … comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. --Pres. Thomas S. MonsonAnother one about selfishness: Our Perfect Example - general-conferenceJust as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. --Henry B. Eyring Edited August 28, 2012 by applepansy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts