No calling in years

[dukan98]

I was released from my last calling more than 4 years ago when I was pregnant with my son. Since then I've been semi-active, attending church about once a month, due to depression and low self esteem issues. For these past four years we haven't had home teacher or visiting teacher visits. My husband is active so I guess people just assume we don't need any attention...I don't know, I just have a hard time not resenting our bishop, I feel he's neglected me all these years...What do ya'll think?

[Guest]

I was released from my last calling more than 4 years ago when I was pregnant with my son. Since then I've been semi-active, attending church about once a month, due to depression and low self esteem issues. For these past four years we haven't had home teacher or visiting teacher visits. My husband is active so I guess people just assume we don't need any attention...I don't know, I just have a hard time not resenting our bishop, I feel he's neglected me all these years...What do ya'll think?

 

You don't need to be officially called to serve to be able to serve.  Volunteer if you want to do something.

 

I haven't had a VT or HT visit in... I can't count how many years... it was that long.  And my VT lives a stone's throw away... but we see my VTs and HTs at church every Sunday...

 

I suggest you go call your bishop and tell him you are ready for a calling and want one as soon as he can arrange it if you haven't done so yet. It's silly to sit and stew unless you've done something actively about it.

Edited January 9, 2015 by anatess

[Roseslipper]

I think that you have to have a talk with your bishop.

[Connie]

By not being as active as you could, you are kind of advertising that you have neither the time nor the inclination for a calling. Most callings take some sort of time commitment. I would suggest you reactivate yourself and become more involved. As anatess suggested in her excellent post, you can volunteer for something or ask your bishop for a calling--letting him know what sort of calling you are willing and able to do.

 

I hope you read this post in the kindness it is meant and it does not sound too accusatory. I tried to be careful in my wording, Wishing you the best. :)

[PolarVortex]

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

 

I have a friend who constantly amazes me with her willingness to squeak instead of just sit around waiting for good things to happen to her.  She's a total pain in the neck, but she's one of the happiest people I know.

 

She once was reading some inconsequential little novel that nobody has ever heard of, and she got all agitated over one part of the book that either offended her or was somehow defective to the plot (I forget exactly).  It was late morning, and she picked up the phone and called directory assistance to get the phone number of the publisher.  She called the publisher and asked for the author's contact information.  She got ping-ponged from one person to another, but after a half hour she finally reached the person who had that information and she sweet-talked him into releasing the author's home phone number.  (I swear this is a true story.)  She called the author at home, and his wife answered and said the author was taking a nap. My friend asked if the wife could wake him up because it was important.  The groggy author got on the phone, and my friend lectured him for three minutes straight on what was wrong with his novel.  The author was so stunned that he just took it, and the conversation gradually evolved into a nice chat about books in general.  They hung up on a very friendly note. 

 

My friend said the rest of her afternoon was simply glorious because she had made a good effort to change the things in her day that weren't going right.  I think she may have taken things way too far, but otherwise she's exactly right.  When I think of all the ways to boost my mental health, I think #1 is "Start controlling my life and stop allowing it to control me."

 

If you step out in faith and make an effort to change the things in your life that you don't like without worrying about how they came to happen, all things become possible. 

 

Just be aware that there may be other things in the wind.  Is it possible that the people at church detected your depression and low self-esteem and decided not to burden you with a calling?

 

Best wishes...

[Jane_Doe]

Want a calling?  Want to be involved with something?  Then volunteer!

 

I've been a similar boat myself (at church 1-2 a month).  Having been through several bishoprics in that time, I've learned that people are not mind readers: if I want to help out, then I need to tell them that, not wait for them to figure it out.  

 

So yes, I walk up to the bishop and literally say "Hi, my name is Jane and I would like a calling."  At that point the bishop's jaw usually drops to the floor in excitement and goes "of course!  We have so many things to do!"

Edited January 9, 2015 by Jane_Doe

[estradling75]

It seems like you are waiting for someone else to reach out to you first...  To show they care.. to 'save' you.

 

Christ did that.  He suffered for you, he bleed for you, he died for you.  What more do you want?

 

Do you want the flawed and human members of his church to reach out to you?  That would be awesome it really would, but they have the same kinds of flaws that you do...

 

So are you going to wait to do what Christ would have you do... Until someone does even more for you then Christ did?  Or are you going to realize the wonderful love and interest Christ has already shown to you and start doing what he would have you do?

[pkstpaul]

It is funny how one can see a thread in multiple postings on the same day.  I find myself handing out the same advice more than once in a "session" on the Forum. 

 

You need to "own" your spirtualty. Don't assign it to your ward members. Your activity is your choice.

 

Don't take the calling thing personnally. Without being active and social in the ward, you will be overlooked...not ignored, but overlooked. When a presidency is looking to fill a spot, they quite often look around the room. Yes, they use spiritual promptings to make callings, but nothing says there is only one person they are going to consider. An active member is going to be considered more than an inactive. It is just nature.

 

Although the Nursery is a place people go to hide, it might be a good place to volunteer. They can generally use people to help play with the children and put out snack, etc. You get to chat with the adults (only a couple) because the kids aren't talking yet. :)  That's easier than chatting in Sunday School or RS.

[mordorbund]

You can go to the bishop, but you can also go to the Relief Society president and tell her you want to be a visiting teacher. Then serve your sisters. Get to know your VT companion well and befriend her (whether she joins you in visits or not).

[Palerider]

I was released from my last calling more than 4 years ago when I was pregnant with my son. Since then I've been semi-active, attending church about once a month, due to depression and low self esteem issues. For these past four years we haven't had home teacher or visiting teacher visits. My husband is active so I guess people just assume we don't need any attention...I don't know, I just have a hard time not resenting our bishop, I feel he's neglected me all these years...What do ya'll think?

I have served as a Bishop twice in my life and I am far from an expert. I think you should approach your Bishop and ask to meet with him. Once your in his office tell him exactly what you just told us and the both of you talk about it. You will be glad you did and he as well.

[NightSG]

Move to a smaller ward and show up too often.  Move here and you can have one of my three.