The (non)utility of "venting"


Vort
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For years, I have wondered why "venting" -- by which I mean complaining, whining, screaming, throwing things around, etc. -- is embraced by our society as "healthy". It seems nothing of the sort; on the contrary, it is a way to train ourselves to respond badly to a situation. Does anyone have any actual convincing argument to support the idea of "venting" beyond "well, y'know, it feels good at the moment, so as long as no one gets hurt, it must be good"? (Which in my experience is untrue, anyway. "Venting" does not feel particularly good at all, and often leads to more of the same frustration which caused the supposed need to vent in the first place.)

 

Does anyone believe that God "vents" in a private space? Can anyone visualize Jesus Christ "venting"? It seems antithetical to our beliefs on self-mastery.

Edited by Vort
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I do.

I have to disagree with you partly, here.

I agree, yelling, screaming, etc., is not the way to do it.

But remember Jack Webb?  How someone would talk about how committing some crime was ok?  And he would say, "Well, let me tell you ... " and he would not yell or scream but he would state the case?

In similar fashion, I have heard attorneys and politicians not yell and scream, but vehemently state their case, vent, as it were, and I think it's very important to do so.

To stand up for righteousness, for what's right, for the difference between right and wrong, for the victim, the real victim, not the poor criminal who "din doo nuffin".  But the real victim.  And to do so in no uncertain terms.

No, not profanity.

Look up some of Jack Webb's soliloquys or who was it in Julius Caesar.  The one who says "and Brutus is an honest man", etc.  The one who questions the stabbing.

Or, don't you recall after having done so, if done politely, but agressively, someone saying "feel better now?"

dc

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For years, I have wondered why "venting" -- by which I mean complaining, whining, screaming, throwing things around, etc. -- is embraced by our society as "healthy". It seems nothing of the sort; on the contrary, it is a way to train ourselves to respond badly to a situation. 

It's embraced because we have a society that have forgotten what it means to be an adult. We have the break-down of the family with such atrocities such as 2 daddies being trotted out as "healthy" for children (what bunk-as a side-note all those people who are saying oh the horror for the child that they can't be baptized b/c they had dad and dad.  I sure don't hear them complaining about all the massive damage that being raised in that lifestyle is really doing to the child.). 

 

Parents don't know how to actually parent and never teach their children what the difference is between a child and an adult.  So society has children who get older but who have never matured even though they are in an adult body.  Therefore, because they weren't trained right but are now an adult they make an excuse for why their behavior is acceptable.

 

As a sidenote, man I love John Rosemond-a parenting guru. The guy hits most things spot on.

http://www.rosemond.com/October-2015.html

Edited by yjacket
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I agree with both of you (Vort & David).  But I believe you are talking about two different things.

 

It is the same as the difference between rage and righteous indignation.

 

It is the difference between judging with hypocrisy and declaring the word of God.

 

Complaining connotes emphasizing the victimhood.  This is what is wrong.  It emphasizes "why me?" as if there is a reason.  It emphasizes that "I didn't deserve this."  Such activities only serve to magnify the negative feelings.  BTW, we don't get what we deserve -- and thank goodness!

 

Sublimating, on the other hand, gets us to change our thinking.  Activities are accurately considered sublimating if those activities successfully rid us of those negative feelings. 

     Prayer is an excellent example. 

     Exercise (other physical activities) that gets us to work out the energy often helps.

     Trying to make lemonade out of lemons in any way.

 

There are many activities that if done correctly can be considered good.  But I think Yjacket is correct.  Many of those "good" activities have been twisted into something that only makes things worse.

Edited by Guest
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Hi Vort,

 

I think it can depend a bit on what one considers "venting". The explanations you give of venting (which I've heard similar ideas from others) I would not consider venting at all. I think of venting as a passive process to keep from blowing one's top. These so called 'vents" are blowing one's top which is absolutely not productive as you state. What I perceive as a healthy vent session is when something I don't understand and bothers me is discussed with my wife or others to gain a better understanding of the other position - this can easily turn into the other if those involved aren't careful as it so easy to gripe about things or gossip about problems "those other people" have.

 

As for if I can see God venting... if it the more passive style yes I can. My understanding is that we have Heavenly Father who feels emotions and is capable of feeling sorrow. Even though He knows the end from the beginning I can only imagine how he feels at times to look down on the unrighteousness of His children. I can see Him seeking solace by conversing with a trusted confidant about the situation. I don't however see Him throwing a temper tantrum - however sometimes the God of the Old Testament can appear to come off that way. 

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Maybe it's a Mars vs. Venus thing, but generally speaking women need to talk about our feelings, think out loud etc.  To me that is what venting usually is, and I do think it's helpful.  I agree that we should be careful not to murmur, but I don't think the two are always the same.  

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It's embraced because we have a society that have forgotten what it means to be an adult. We have the break-down of the family with such atrocities such as 2 daddies being trotted out as "healthy" for children (what bunk-as a side-note all those people who are saying oh the horror for the child that they can't be baptized b/c they had dad and dad.  I sure don't hear them complaining about all the massive damage that being raised in that lifestyle is really doing to the child.). 

 

Parents don't know how to actually parent and never teach their children what the difference is between a child and an adult.  So society has children who get older but who have never matured even though they are in an adult body.  Therefore, because they weren't trained right but are now an adult they make an excuse for why their behavior is acceptable.

 

 

Are you venting?

 

I love venting.

I need a 'vent" button that lets me type whatever I want but doesn't post it until it asks if I REALLY want to say that.

Didn't someone already talk about that idea on this forum?

Or did I read it somewhere else...

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Depends on what is meant by Venting.

 

God has anger, God has wrath.  Is he venting when he destroys the wicked?

 

We have emotions, we have feeling.  Our task is to control them.  Suppressing them and denying them is a form of control.

 

So is finding constructive outlets for them.

 

To a lesser extent, finding a non destructive outlet for them, is also a form of control.

 

Now if by Venting you build up and reinforce feelings that we can only release harmfully then...  venting is a bad idea

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Well, I sorta like venting.

It allows me to let off steam so my head doesn't explode.

Seriously.

 

I think the key is in what you said, estradling, "Finding a nondestructive outlet."

 

I think we need to take care where we vent and how we vent and who we vent TO.

 

It's probably better to do martial arts, or yoga, or running than to bring down someone else by venting too much, which could be harmful to their spirit. Especially if it puts them in the middle of whatever issue you're venting about.

 

Even a husband or wife can get weary of hearing how bad things are at the office...

Edited by AnnieCarvalho
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My view of "venting" as it were, is that practice makes perfect. If you want to be a yeller, yell a lot. If you want to be angry, express anger a lot. If you want to be impatient, vent a bit...you know, slam cupboards and what-not. Conversely, if you want to be calm, practice calmness. If you want to be patient, practice patience. Etc.

 

Venting (for the most part (at least as the implication in the OP is concerned)) is the practice of bad behavior in the name of getting rid of it. Since when does engaging in bad behavior help us to become good? That's the world's nonsense thinking.

 

If you add on to that the Gift of the Holy Ghost, there's more fuel to the fire.

 

We behave Christlike to become more Christlike. First through practicing being like Christ. Second, by being worthy of the Holy Spirit, which fills us with light and knowledge and helps to change our hearts so we are more Christlike.

 

Of course venting could also mean other things...in the spirit of not running faster than we're able, etc...so......

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Perhaps we need to define venting before we continue.  My version of venting does not necessarily involve yelling.  I'm sure it does for some people, but when I vent I don't yell.  

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Perhaps we need to define venting before we continue.  My version of venting does not necessarily involve yelling.  I'm sure it does for some people, but when I vent I don't yell.  

 

It, possibly, amounts to the same core question though. Is there a Christlike way to vent?

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Guest LiterateParakeet

It, possibly, amounts to the same core question though. Is there a Christlike way to vent?

That depends very much on how you define venting. That's why I mentioned it.

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It, possibly, amounts to the same core question though. Is there a Christlike way to vent?

 

Did Christ vent when he destroyed the wicked?  I think a case could be made either way entirely dependent on how you define venting.

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I was thinking that yes, maybe God does vent.  Volcanos.  But that actually would be the just the earth venting.

As for destroying the wicked, the evil, I think it's unfortunate that God doesn't do it more often.  I would be happy if he did.

Do any of you remember Hank Williams.

When he sang Ramblin' Man.

What did he sing, "or I'll blow my stack."

How about a little musical interlude here to show the good nature of this thread.

You know, this is all part of why I long haul ride a motorcycle.

True country music.

dc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq3S6sgtywo

Edited by David13
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Did Christ vent when he destroyed the wicked?  I think a case could be made either way entirely dependent on how you define venting.

 

Whereas per the definitions I have looked up for vent, I can accept that Christ's actions could be terms as such. However, not  part of the strict definitions is the clear implication in where the word stems from. A vent is a means of release. The implication of a person (or God) venting seems to be that if they did not that something was building up with some sort of pressure or otherwise that needed to be released. This strikes me as outside the known revealed characteristics of God.

 

When God destroys He does so because it's right, not because He needs to for His sanity.

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It really does depend on what you mean by venting. Venting in the sense of using our strong feelings as an excuse to do something wrong or negative, because otherwise we would let it all out at once in even worse ways, is pretty much useless. It strikes me as having the same effect as procrastinating - seems useful for the moment but ultimately just makes the problem twice as bad when the time comes to actually deal with the issue.

 

Venting in the sense of releasing those feelings in productive or useful ways (or at least non-harmful ones) is fine. "Whatsoever inviteth and enticeth to do good..."

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It's a thought-provoking question. If i may ask some of my own for clarification and curiosity's sake, Vort. Do you consider it venting (according to your own definition of the word) when Christ drove the moneychangers out of the temple? For some reason some verses of Jacob 5 came to mind when the Lord of the vineyard starts to numerate all the things he has done for his trees and asks "what could i have done more?" when his trees don't respond with good fruit... would you consider this venting (possibly whining)? Why or why not?

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Having given this more though I have a new wrinkle to add..

 

Generally we consider venting to be expressing an emotion like hate, anger, frustration...  Thus the term is colored by what we think is the most likely use of it.   But can we "Vent" other emotions?  Can we "Vent" happiness? Sadness?  Grief? Or is it limited to just what we commonly think?

 

If other emotions can be "vented" then we notice that in the scriptures God weeps.  Is not weeping the venting of sadness/grief?

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This one is funny because I don't view that stuff as venting at all either, but I view it as blowing your top. I've always considered "venting" things that you do to safely let out the steam so that you don't explode. This can be nearly anything that calms down the anger. For me that's writing in a journal, listening to some heavy metal, or a billion other things.

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