LDS homeschooling essay

[Vort]

http://gatheringfamilies.com/2015/12/31/why-i-homeschool/

 

She echoes many of my own ideas and reasons for wanting to homeschool -- not all, but enough that I know she is a kindred spirit. Some things she did not mention are the idea of sending my young, impressionable children away from my and my wife's influence for eight hours a day, or of having your children learn cool, interesting, important, or just plain fun topics at the feet of a stranger instead of their parents. One part that spoke to me was her husband's review of a school project he had done and his anger at having wasted his time and effort doing such a useless, meaningless thing.

 

Interesting how much negative feedback she received from those around her. This seems to be an almost universal experience among first-generation homeschoolers: Everyone disapproves. If you homeschool, be ready to ignore criticism, and plan to spend at least five years explaining to people you care about why you aren't sending your children to public schools.

 

(And heaven help those whose homeschooled children don't excel in numerous areas. That's sure to be thrown in your face as some sort of proof that you're doing the wrong thing. Fortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule; public school so often acts as a brake to learning rather than an invitation, emphasizing busywork and conformity as it often does, that in many cases simply getting the children out of that environment and into one of curiosity and desire to learn is enough to give them wings.)

[The Folk Prophet]

It was an interesting read. I find the worry and stress she went through quite...for lack of a better way to put it...female. I have long (my whole marriage) planned on homeschooling my children (if we are ever able to have them) and I could care less what anyone thinks. I wouldn't pray about it any more that I'd pray about whether I should let my child watch an R-rated movie or not (yeah...it's that bad out there). It's such a "duh" choice to me and always has been.

[NeuroTypical]

My random thoughts, as a daddy of teenagers who has evolved in his thoughts on homeschooling:

 

- Life will throw my kids stupid demands, time wasters, bureaucracy, and pointless hoops that must be jumped through.  I used to think it was our job to get them ready for such things by introducing them to it.  Now I think it's our job to help them recognize such things, and teach them skills at minimizing or eliminating them. 

 

- Feedback from others has changed.  When starting out, my wife got a mixed bag of defensiveness, criticism, worry, nervous laughter, envy, and open support.  Now, with a decade behind the effort, the naysayers have either changed their tune, or they're not really part of our circles any more.  

 

- School administrators are glad they don't have to deal with my special needs kid.  Totally supportive of our homeschooling efforts, which make their lives easier and protects their budgets from us.

 

- Public school teachers who have our kids one day a week for 'homeschool academy', are good supportive people and love our kids to tears.  They are also occasionally a source of disagreeable information.  (Like the lady who compared the wild horse roundup to the holocaust.  We support it, and my wife actually has ties with them.  So kids learned how to deal with folks who basically called their mom a Nazi, with patience, kindness, and civility.)  

 

- We don't shelter our kids from harsh realities and troubling things.  We teach them to deal, think, reason, feel, and fight their way to the truth.  

 

- Random kids and peers are pretty much universally envious of our kids.  

 

- When we talk homeschooling with people, we talk about the wins.  We don't share that one kid struggles at spelling and the other kid can't math her way out of a paper bag.  We do share that one kid has performed surgery on her turkey's foot and is on track to start her CNA certification at 15, and the other kid recently published her first 2500 word fanfiction with almost zero help or involvement from parents.   We hear a lot of "Oh!  Well, obviously it's working well for them."  

Edited December 31, 2015 by NeuroTypical

[Backroads]

I plan on homeschooling my kids when the time comes, finances and careers allowing. I'd like to think my educational training and experience will be an asset, but that's probably not true.

[Vort]

I'd like to think my educational training and experience will be an asset, but that's probably not true.

 

I'm sure it will be an asset. Certainly won't hurt.

[NeuroTypical]

Here's how my wife sums things up:

 

Not everyone is cut out for homeschooling, and that's totally fine.  The thing you absolutely have to have, is you need to like spending a lot of time, every day, with your kids, with pretty much no breaks, ever.  If you have that, you'll be a good homeschooling mom.  If not, you'll probably kill them or they'll kill you.  

[Rhoades]

I wouldn't pray about it any more that I'd pray about ... It's such a "duh" choice to me and always has been.

 

Alma 37:37 teaches to "counsel with the Lord in all thy doings". 

 

We must counsel with God on things we think are important, especially things related to parenting.  Be careful not to shut the door on light and knowledge because of what you already know.   He doesn't want to make all of our decisions for us, and He'll let us make some mistakes.  But, sometimes there's helpful inspiration He wants to share if we ask.

 

There are advantages to home school and there are advantages to public school.  What's best overall varies depending on a lot of factors (needs of the family, health, resources, personalities, where you live, etc.)  Since God will know those factors better than you, when the time comes check and see if He has any advice.

[Guest]

I wholeheartedly support homeschooling.

 

My kids are not homeschooled... like NeuroTypical said, I feel I'm going to end up either killing my kids or they killing me.  They go to Public School - carefully selected which is awesome that Florida has a magnet school program so we are not tied to our geographical area.  So my one kid attended a pure Montessori elementary which is the only kind of environment that worked for him.  I pulled him out of our geographical public school in October of 1st Grade when it became obvious that it just wasn't working for him and transferred him to the private Montessori - to the tune of $1200 a month.  It was a struggle to meet the tuition without me getting a 9-5 job, so I was thinking of homeschooling until I discovered that little gem of a Public Montessori School.  It was set up completely the same as the private one.  The only difference is that they take the Florida Assessment Tests.  There's no testing in Montessori.  So, the Public Montessori offered after hours classes on "how to take a test". 

 

How did I know the geographic elementary did not work for him?  Because I didn't just send my kid to school and forgot about him.  Is he making friends?  Is he behaving?  Is he learning correct principles?  I know the answers to these because I was there.  His teachers were my allies - well, they were supposed to be, the teachers and principal of the school did not work with what my son needed so I pulled my kid out.  At the Public Montessori - the method of instruction, the teachers, the principal, even the front desk clerk who answers the phone worked with me.

 

One time, they were having problems with kids in my son's class not reading enough - these kids only read in school and they didn't have enough books in the school library they're interested in because other kids checked them out (of course, they only want to read what everybody else is talking about).  So, I went on a hunt for all these books (it was Magic Tree House and Bailey's School Kids at that time) and got hundreds of them and brought them into the classroom.  The teacher organized, tagged, and labeled each one with the help of the students and set up a library system.  So they can check out books right there in their own classroom and not have to fight for the books in the school library and a kid gets to practice being the librarian for a week.  They had a problem with kids not wanting to write... so, I organized a penpal system with kids in the school I graduated from in the Philippines.  The teachers (both in the US and the Philippines) helped me set up a Theme for the Month that they can use to write to their penpals - like in November, the US kids would write about the Thanksgiving story to their penpals while the Philippine kids would write about All Souls Day. I'd FedEx the letters once a month - both to and from the Philippines.  Kids got so excited that they were writing letters every week and putting them in the mailbox.

 

The Middle School Montessori is not good.  It wasn't run right.  So, after finishing elementary we thought of homeschooling again.  But, in one of the public school expos, my son found this little gem of a technology middle school.  He met his kindred spirits and that was it for him.  He's been in that school and doing cool things like completing a real deal NASA mission, building robots for competition, video game programming, and his favorite - CAD - where he designed a truss bridge and produced the thing on the 3D printer in addition to his reading/'riting/'rithmetic.  He also joined the zoology club where he gets to take care of the critters in the science classroom - including a red-tailed boa, a ball python, dragons, spiders, birds, rodents, etc. etc.

 

My other son fared well in the geographic public elementary but then he moved to the public arts school for middle and high.  He had the choice of going to the IB program in the highly rated academic school or expand on his arts skills at the arts school.  He picked the arts school - which I completely disagreed with but my husband sided with him on it, so I told him the minute I see his academics slipping, I'm moving him.

 

Anyway... I fill the gaps in their learning.  There are just things that they don't teach - or they teach but my sons didn't understand, or they teach but I'm not satisfied with the way they teach it - that I teach at home myself. 

 

Elementary was okay.  Middle is where the trouble starts - kids talk like sailors in Middle among other things.  The Technology school has 4 boys to a girl and for some reason, when that many boys coalesce at the lockers, fights break out.  So the school got electronic textbooks and took out the lockers.  So then they fight at the gym, or the bathrooms, or the bus... crazy kids.  The arts school is crazy too.  4 girls to a boy in that school and half the boys are gay.  So you see boys and girls kissing everywhere, boys and boys kissing, and girls and girls kissing... there's a boy that rides with my son on the bus.  One day he got on the bus wearing makeup.  Then he started wearing heels.  Then he started wearing skirts.  Then towards the end of school year, he showed up with boobs.  He's been a girl ever since.  Outfits in the arts school is a problem - there's school policy but I think the administrators quit enforcing them.  No problems with ultra-liberal teachers - although, the arts school is very liberal the teachers don't antagonize kids who aren't.  The tech school is half and half and my son is actively campaigning for the candidate with the funny hair in the school.  He even got a few kids to read the funny haired guy's latest book.

 

Anyway, yeah, homeschooling would eliminate most of the problems.  But for those who can't, it doesn't mean that you should just wash your hands over the thing and completely hand over the education of your children to a 3rd party.  You should still be their primary teacher and compass.  The school should not dictate your kids' principles and morality or even their educational achievement.

[The Folk Prophet]

Alma 37:37 teaches to "counsel with the Lord in all thy doings". 

 

...thanks for editing out the important part that explained why I said this...

 

So...really? You think it wise to counsel with the Lord as to whether you should allow your kids to see dirty movies?

[Backroads]

I subscribe to the belief there are a lot of matters where the Lord says "you are smart enough, do what you want here."

[Backroads]

The school where I currently teach broke off from a Catholic school and there is much I like of its system. However, and without meaning to get all classist, since it moved locations a few years back the student body has significantly changed which significantly impacted the necessary curriculum for meeting needs. I don't know, if homeschooling doesn't pan out, it's where I will want my kids to go.

[The Folk Prophet]

Alma 37:37 teaches to "counsel with the Lord in all thy doings". 

 

We must counsel with God on things we think are important, especially things related to parenting.  Be careful not to shut the door on light and knowledge because of what you already know.   He doesn't want to make all of our decisions for us, and He'll let us make some mistakes.  But, sometimes there's helpful inspiration He wants to share if we ask.

 

There are advantages to home school and there are advantages to public school.  What's best overall varies depending on a lot of factors (needs of the family, health, resources, personalities, where you live, etc.)  Since God will know those factors better than you, when the time comes check and see if He has any advice.

 

I might also add to my other response...counselling with the Lord in all they doings is sufficiently covered by "guide me in all my doings" without the need to question the Lord on every single thing.

[JojoBag]

I home schooled my kids because of a teacher who was far more interested in conformity and getting rid of what she perceived as a problem child than teaching.  At the beginning of the second half of first grade, we got called into her office.  The teacher said that my son was disruptive, couldn't concentrate, couldn't read at his level, and needed to be put in a special needs class.  We couldn't understand what she was talking about; my son read could the scriptures without stuttering.  We explained this, but the teacher still insisted that he couldn't read at his level, so we told him to grab any reader off the teacher's shelf and read it out loud.  He took down a fifth grade reader and read it aloud without any hesitation. 

 

The surprised teacher then expressed doubt that my son comprehended what he just read.  We asked him to explain what he read, which he proceeded to do in a concise, comprehensive manner.  The teacher stuck to her guns and said that he still was disruptive and needed to be put in a special needs class.  My best friend homeschooled all of his kids, so we pulled our son out of school and began teaching him.    We concluded that essentially, my son was bored. 

 

With very few exceptions, the problem now with both private and public education is the massive socialist influence that has permeated the teaching curriculum and texts.  If you are familiar with the book, "The Naked Communist," you will realize that this was one of the 45 goals of the communist party.  Here is the one in question:

 

 

17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers' associations. Put the party line in textbooks.

 

Now you've got the so-called "common core" education system.  I call it the "communist core" system.  It has been deliberately designed to dumb down kids.  I saw a video of a woman who was able to emigrate from China.  She said it was exactly what the Chinese education system does to their children.

 

The other problem with the current school system is that it teaches our children to accept the ways of the world.  I hear the term, "go along to get along."  In other words, don't do or say anything to offend anyone else.  It teaches kids that they can do anything they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.  It leaves out traditional morals and eliminates God from education. 

 

If you can homeschool your kids, do it now before it's too late to save them.

[LeSellers]

If you can homeschool your kids, do it now before it's too late to save them.

Or, as I put it: the price of a "free" "education" is too high: that price is your child.

Lehi

[Backroads]

What's the way to go if homeschooling isn't a possibility?

[NeuroTypical]

There are tons of valid options.  Despite what you're hearing on this thread, I know there are just fine and wonderful public school settings.  Various private schools, Catholic school, academies, charter academies, oodles of options.  You have to look around your area.  Talk to parents about what they're doing.  Do research on school websites and review sites and moms groups.

 

I am not claiming that horror stories don't exist, or corrupt and vile institutions aren't really there.  They do, and they are.  But no, homeschooling is NOT the only valid choice out there.  

Edited December 31, 2015 by NeuroTypical

[yjacket]

What's the way to go if homeschooling isn't a possibility?

Your five options are public school; private school, homeschool, online public school, and online private school.

 

Private school may not be an option depending on where you are at; a lot of private schools are religious school and some of them (depending on what part of the country you live in) are not terribly accommodating to the LDS faith.

 

Some people think homeschooling takes a lot of work-and it does take work but with the internet a lot of the guesswork can be eliminated.

 

We have done everything except public school. Some states have online public school and it is a good transition if you aren't sure you really want to do homeschooling.  The biggest downsides is b/c it is public they will teach common core and my goodness do they do tests.  In kindergarten they have a test in every subject at least once a week---way too much!

 

Right now my favorite is online private school like http://www.fpeusa.org/.  They aren't too expensive ~1800 per year for a young kid. For elementary kids, they have class 2 hours a day and are expected to do 2 hours of homework a day. If the kids are really young, the parents are expected to monitor the class.  But once they get a little older, they should be doing it all by themselves, set up class, take the class, do the homework, turn it in-etc.  My son in 3rd grade is taking Latin and they teach cursive.

 

The really cool thing is they put online what books they use in the grades, so if it is too expensive you can buy the books and know what material should be covered in any given year.

[LeSellers]

What's the way to go if homeschooling isn't a possibility?

It's always a possibility. I know a couple of single mothers who work (by design) opposite shifts so they can teach their children as a team. I know welfare mothers, single dads and virtually any other family arrangement who've successfully done it.

However, some people are unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to educate their children within their families, so here are a tiny fraction of alternatives (in no particular order):

Gramma'n'Grampa school

Aunt Tillie school

The crazy lady down the street who's done it for years for her own children

Someone in your church (ward) with his own children in Family-Centered Education

Apprenticeships

Dame schools, Mom schools, and other private schools

Co-op schools

Kahn Academy

Any combination of the above.

The options are as limitless as one's imagination.

Government-run, tax-funded welfare schools were designed to divorce children from their parents (in Mann's own words) and anything we can do to keep families intact is critically important. Of all the quotes about grtf-welfare schools I've read, this one is the most telling:

"What can they do in their one hour of Sunday School, when we have their children 6 hours a day?" The speaker was John Dewey, signatory of the first Humanist Manifesto, and hard-core advocate of grtf-welfare schools to eliminate religion in USmerica.

In 1890, William Torrey Harris (federal Commissioner of Education) told his industrialist cronies that the grtf-welfare schools were "scientifically designed" to prevent a child's thinking anything he had not been taught to think.

Beginning the the 1850s, the Church warned parents of the dangers of grtf-welfare schooling. No one has shown me any counsel rescinding this alarm. The Brethren told the Saints that government schools were a serious threat to the Family and to the Church. We have seen the fulfillment of this alert.

I have written thousands of pages of reasons to close down all grtf-welfare schools by attrition. O! how I wish parents would listen to the prophets.

Were we to have 100 LDS girls and 100 LDS boys from grtf-welfare schools whose fathers had baptized them, we would see about 30 of the boys go on missions and 60 of the two sexes marry in the Temple. But the same 200 children from Family-Centered Education would have 90 of the boys on missions and 190 Sealings. Harris and Dewey were dead on target; Mann was right.

Lehi

Edited December 31, 2015 by LeSellers

[Backroads]

Welfare moms? But why should families sacrifice an income to go on welfare to do homeschool? Is it really worth using up government resources to homeschool? I'm disgusted at the idea of people refusing to work to support their families.

[LeSellers]

Welfare moms? But why should families sacrifice an income to go on welfare to do homeschool? Is it really worth using up government resources to homeschool? I'm disgusted at the idea of people refusing to work to support their families.

They were on welfare long before they started homeschooling. I looks as if you have jumped to a conclusion unwarranted by the words of my post.

Lehi

[Guest]

Right now my favorite is online private school like http://www.fpeusa.org/.  They aren't too expensive ~1800 per year for a young kid. For elementary kids, they have class 2 hours a day and are expected to do 2 hours of homework a day. If the kids are really young, the parents are expected to monitor the class.  But once they get a little older, they should be doing it all by themselves, set up class, take the class, do the homework, turn it in-etc.  My son in 3rd grade is taking Latin and they teach cursive.

 

The really cool thing is they put online what books they use in the grades, so if it is too expensive you can buy the books and know what material should be covered in any given year.

 

I was happy just reading other people's opinion.  But I just have to interject here.  You've given a "good" review of FPE.  I obviously did not have the experience you did.  So I'll give the counterbalancing "bad" review.  What I read on the ads and the website sounded great.  I thought, "finally.  What we've been looking for." But oh how disappointing the reality.

 

They were totally unorganized.  Their teachers had not reviewed the texts.  They were learning them as they went.  Many of the assignments didn't match the texts (page numbers that didn't exist, chapter titles that didn't match the page numbers, etc.) Texts that were missing entire sections and appendices that were used to complete assignments (geography books missing the maps sections, etc.).  Some of the math tests covered topics that weren't even covered in the chapters.

 

And they were given an enormous amount of homework.  They took fewer classes than I had in public school, but their homework load was greater than my load in public school in AP/IB classes.

 

They had computerized tests that didn't provide the correct answers in the multiple choice tests.  Many of the choices were confusing. 

 

Example: Which is the correct answer?

 

A) 3   B) 1   C) 4   D)2

 

Uhm, could  you put the numbers in order?

 

It was filled with fundamentalist Christian dogma as history.  They "proved" the earth is really only 6,000 yrs old.  They didn't teach evolution as a theory.  They taught it as a myth and provided fundamentalist Christian myths in its place.  There was a history chapter on Joseph Smith being fraud, a criminal, and "obviously not a godly" man.  This last one was what broke the camel's back.  We disenrolled all our kids.

 

We wrote to them about each of these issues.  Their response was simply "Well that's the curriculum.  We can't do much about it." pretty much on every issue.  We at least asked for an apology about the chapter on Joseph Smith.  They wouldn't.  One of the administrators simply said, "Well, I'm a Catholic and I had the same reaction when they said something anti-Catholic, but I'm still working here."  I honestly don't remember anything anti-Catholic in the entire curriculum.  Maybe it was in one of the grades that my kids were not in.

 

Bottom line: I do NOT recommend FPE.

[Backroads]

They were on welfare long before they started homeschooling. I looks as if you have jumped to a conclusion unwarranted by the words of my post.

Lehi

It seems I did. My apologies.

[Rhoades]

 

...thanks for editing out the important part that explained why I said this...

 

So...really? You think it wise to counsel with the Lord as to whether you should allow your kids to see dirty movies?

 

Actually I believe each R-rated movie should be prayed about individually.   :)  No, not really.  My point is that one should counsel with the Lord when making important decisions, especially in matters related to your family and parenting.

 

I might also add to my other response...counselling with the Lord in all they doings is sufficiently covered by "guide me in all my doings" without the need to question the Lord on every single thing.

Yes, I agree.  I pray for general help with parenting daily, and pray about specific things on occasion.

 

I know God doesn't want to direct every minute detail of our lives.  I'm not saying you need to pray about which kind of cereal you eat for breakfast.  We are "agents who act" and we need to learn to make decisions.

 

To you, it sounds like home schooling is a no-brainer and there's really no decision.  To me, it is a decision with pros and cons either way.  Your "I wouldn't pray about it" statement caught my attention because I have past experience praying about how to handle some issues with our children (home schooling was among several options), receiving an unexpected answer, and going forward despite it being difficult.  And things turned out better for our children than we thought possible. Way better.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Rhoades

[Backroads]

I'm a bit wary of online schools despite an interest in teaching that way. I would have to learn more. I imagine they benefit the self-motivated learners, but I fear a bunch of stuff to read and a quiz here and there without much interaction.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Backroads

[Traveler]

I have many and mixed feelings and conflicted thoughts about public education verses home schooling. My father was a teacher in the public education system until he decided that he could not prosper and support his family teaching. He and mom are the single greatest influence in my life. According to my father there are no problem teachers – just problem students. On several occasions he explained to me that no matter how difficult or bad a teacher was that there would be some students succeed and other fail and that no matter how simple or easy a teacher made the subject – there would always be students fail as well as succeed. And that the sad reality is that, according to my father, that students that fail are in essence the same as those that succeed.

My own reality – I had some teachers that I prospered and learned a great deal from – and others that I conflicted greatly with. And if anyone is wondering I was expelled from school more than once and I obtained several awards and scholarships. I was a sterling success as well as a miserable failure. I have discovered that my educational experience has carried over into life in general. There are individuals that I work with and for to accomplish much and others that I do not work well with at all.

I am of the mind and belief that the reason – at least for me – has much to do with relationships and discipline. More specifically I am favorable of traditional family relationships. I tend to rebel against individuals that view others as lesser objects or things, rather than people that are equals. I find such attitude condescending and petty and I rebel; whether it is teachers, professors, work place management, politicians or theologians.

So pronounced is my concern about individuals that think themselves or some other select person as eternally greater and high born that I have found myself somewhat rebellious to the religious concept that G-d is a higher species being that allows himself to be involved with lower types – but not to allow such others to consider a possibility to be on any kind of the same level as them.