The Apology Thread

[Doctor Steuss]

It seems that as of late, many (including myself) are in need of extending apologies. So, I thought; "Hey, why not have an apology thread."

So, here it is. Apologies away everyone.

I would like to first apologize to my mom. She wanted me to get an MD. Instead I got a PhD in Misanthropic Misology. I'm sorry mom.

And of course, EverNew.

And my pants.

Who's next?

[prisonchaplain]

Ditto to my pants. I had them hemmed in after a six-month stint on Atkins. It turned out to be an unncecessary expense for me, and an superfulous "stretching experience" for my clothing.

[Doctor Steuss]

Ditto to my pants. I had them hemmed in after a six-month stint on Atkins. It turned out to be an unncecessary expense for me, and an superfulous "stretching experience" for my clothing.

You are forgiven my child. Go and slim no more.

[Canuck Mormon]

I would like to apologise to my liver for the damage I did when I was younger

As well as my lungs for hanging out in smokey bars

That's about all.

[Maureen]

I'd like to apologize to my cat Buffy who has food allergies. I let her eat those evil foods anyway; she loves the food but it don't like her.

Another apology to my other cat Ptolemy who likes to go headfirst into bags but encountered an evil bag last night that scared the wits out of him. I threw that evil bag away, but who knows if it could happen again.

This is a great thread!

M.

[prisonchaplain]

You are forgiven my child. Go and slim no more.

Thank you, Father.

[Doctor Steuss]

I would like to apologise to my liver for the damage I did when I was younger

As well as my lungs for hanging out in smokey bars

That's about all.

I absolve you of your sclerosis tendencies. Your lungs shall know the joys of running without hacking, and walking without wheezing.

Go and booze no more my child.

I'd like to apologize to my cat Buffy who has food allergies. I let her eat those evil foods anyway; she loves the food but it don't like her.

I cast out the histamine as if cleansing the Temple.

Tell your cat to go and sneeze no more.

Another apology to my other cat Ptolemy who likes to go headfirst into bags but encountered an evil bag last night that scared the wits out of him. I threw that evil bag away, but who knows if it could happen again.

This is a great thread!

M.

The cat is out of the bag, therefore you are forgiven.

[Canuck Mormon]

<div class='quotemain'>

I would like to apologise to my liver for the damage I did when I was younger

As well as my lungs for hanging out in smokey bars

That's about all.

I absolve you of your sclerosis tendencies. Your lungs shall know the joys of running without hacking, and walking without wheezing.

Go and booze no more my child.

I am HEALED!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!

[Elphaba]

I apologize for being one of the rudest posters on the board, and for my obnoxious posting and childish name-calling, and for considering myself a scholar of some kind, yet behaving in quite the opposite manner.

And it's all your fault Steuss. I completely forget I had these flaws until you reminded me of them today.

Are you feet all squishy?

Elphaba

[Doctor Steuss]

I apologize for being one of the rudest posters on the board, and for my obnoxious posting and childish name-calling, and for considering myself a scholar of some kind, yet behaving in quite the opposite manner.

And it's all your fault Steuss. I completely forget I had these flaws until you reminded me of them today.

Are you feet all squishy?

Elphaba

I forgive you my child, and I absolve myself for the fault.

Go and commit logical fallacies no more.

Doctor “Squishy Feet” Steuss

[Elphaba]

I'd like to apologize to my cat Buffy who has food allergies. I let her eat those evil foods anyway; she loves the food but it don't like her.

Another apology to my other cat Ptolemy who likes to go headfirst into bags but encountered an evil bag last night that scared the wits out of him. I threw that evil bag away, but who knows if it could happen again.

This is a great thread!

M.

Elphie

[Elphaba]

<div class='quotemain'>

I apologize for being one of the rudest posters on the board, and for my obnoxious posting and childish name-calling, and for considering myself a scholar of some kind, yet behaving in quite the opposite manner.

And it's all your fault Steuss. I completely forget I had these flaws until you reminded me of them today.

Are you feet all squishy?

Elphaba

I forgive you my child, and I absolve myself for the fault.

Go and commit logical fallacies no more.

Doctor “Squishy Feet” Steuss

But, well, I sort of liked being the rudest poster on the board. Can I keep that one?

Elphaba

[Doctor Steuss]

But, well, I sort of liked being the rudest poster on the board. Can I keep that one?

Elphaba

It will cost you three pseudo-scholars and a side of name-calling. But you can keep it.

[Alaskagain]

I sincerely apologize for wanting to ban two-letter changers from the New Word game!

[Doctor Steuss]

I sincerely apologize for wanting to ban two-letter changers from the New Word game!

I hereby give you a letter of reprieve and accept this apology.

Go and spell no more my child.

[Alaskagain]

<div class='quotemain'>

I sincerely apologize for wanting to ban two-letter changers from the New Word game!

I hereby give you a letter of reprieve and accept this apology.

Go and spell no more my child.

spill

shill

shell

shelf

[siouxz72]

I would like to apologize to my children for convincing them that I was an alien who ate dryer lint when they asked me where it all went when the trap was empty. I'd also like to apologize for telling them that I had to take off my human skin at night so my alien skin could breathe and that's why they couldn't sleep with us in the bed. And really.... I should have never said that because of all this, they were, in turn, half alien. It really was mean of me and I feel horrible.

In my defense...they were only 5, 3 and 1, so not too much damage was done. Plus...it was really funny to see the looks on their little faces!

[FrankJL]

I wanna apologize to my feet. I've been on a running binge lately, usually do about 5mis for 4 days a week, to doing about 7-8mi for 5 days a week lately.

Though this tread does remind me kinda of when rappers get awards...

"I wanna thank my momma, and I wanna thank Jesus"

announcer, "that was p-diddy accepting the award for his hit track "smack my hoe"

I'm sure Jesus is proud of you for that song..

[Elphaba]

I wanna apologize to my feet. I've been on a running binge lately, usually do about 5mis for 4 days a week, to doing about 7-8mi for 5 days a week lately.

I had to read this twice. I thought you were saying you ran about 5 minutes 4 days a week to about 7 to 8 minutes 5 days a week. That's not something I'd fess up to.

Elphaba

[FrankJL]

no...I run about a 6.5 to 7 MINUTE a MILE pace on longer runs like this. :)

I seem stuck on my 2mi time though, I can't seem to get it below 11:45 no matter what I do, and this frustrates me to no end..

There is a female in my unit that runs 12:30-13:00 2mi (which is amazing for a female) said to try yoga, the flexibility gives you longer strides... I think its just that I'm short (5'5), and she's 6'2.

Or I could be because when I was 16 till I was 20, I was a 2 pack a day smoker...but its been over 7 years since I quit, I still think that is coming back to haunt me.

[Elphaba]

<div class='quotemain'>

But, well, I sort of liked being the rudest poster on the board. Can I keep that one?

Elphaba

It will cost you three pseudo-scholars and a side of name-calling. But you can keep it.

1. J. Reynolds

2. J. Lindsay

3. C. Skousen

Side of name-calling: chhcchhhhh chchchhh cough cough cchhcchhh cchhchchh cough chhchhc cough cough

[pam]

I would like to apologize to my mattress for ripping off that "Do not remove by penalty of law" tag. I truly am sorry.

[Annabelli]

I want to apologize to the mosquito that I just killed without a swatter. I saw him in the kitchen sink and without even thinking I turned on the cold water full blast. He was sucked right down the drain. I know that I am supposed to use the swatter so they don't become endangered species.

(On the other hand.....I can't believe it worked !!! )

[StrawberryFields]

I apologize for wishing that mosquito in the last post was an earwig... I loathe earwigs.

[FrankJL]

I learned something today...

I guess we don't have earwigs out here in PA?, or I never noticed / heard of them.

Pretty little critter eh ?