Converts who leave the Church.

[An Investigator]

I have been a member of the Church for a year on Monday and I love it!  I have a brilliant ward, I've met some lovely friends and I really get involved in things.

Most Importantly though is my life has changed because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I have a very strong testimony of the truth of the Gospel.

Anyway, I have been chatting to a girl who lives near me, recent convert of 6 months and tonight she told me she has left the Church.   Why do people think new converts leave? Do you think I have just been really lucky in my ward? Do you think there is anything wards can do to stop new converts leaving?

[Sunday21]

Dear @An Investigator. Thank you for posting. I often wonder about this myself. I wonder if there are a multitude of reasons. Sometimes trials come thick and fast and it is easy to blame the heavens. When things are not going well, it is easy to feel that G-d does not care.

[person0]

Quote

And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them. (Mosiah 4:29)

I thought about posting many of the different reasons but in reality I would presume that as sins are numberless, likewise there are numberless reasons for leaving the church or going inactive.

I will say, however, the number one method to prevent going inactive or leaving the church is easy is gaining a deep personal testimony of the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and His true Church.  

Edited April 13, 2017 by person0

[Anddenex]

20 minutes ago, An Investigator said:

I have been a member of the Church for a year on Monday and I love it!  I have a brilliant ward, I've met some lovely friends and I really get involved in things.

Most Importantly though is my life has changed because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I have a very strong testimony of the truth of the Gospel.

Anyway, I have been chatting to a girl who lives near me, recent convert of 6 months and tonight she told me she has left the Church.   Why do people think new converts leave? Do you think I have just been really lucky in my ward? Do you think there is anything wards can do to stop new converts leaving?

Scriptures that enter into my heart and mind;

1) 1 Nephi 8 -- the tree of life

2) The parable of the sower and where the seeds land.

3) Jacob 5

I am reminded once of a conversation I had with a convert of the Church who left the Church within a year of being baptized. He had been dating a young lady, not a member, and after baptized the bishop counseled with him to seek a polite way to end the relationship. He didn't and didn't understand why his bishop would invite such a request. He married his girlfriend which ended in divorce. One of the things he said stood out to me. He mentioned that because he was not well read, didn't study the doctrines, he misunderstood many things about the gospel. He was still seeing the gospel through the "magnifying glass" of the world, and not through the Holy Spirit. He said, when he finally returned back to what he knew to be true, and begin to study the "rod" himself, he now fully comprehends that he was given wisdom by a wise bishop, but his current knowledge interfered with spiritual knowledge. My father, if I am remembering correctly, went through a similar struggle between worldly knowledge and spiritual knowledge and application of that knowledge.

 

[Guest]

I would never leave. I'd feel naked and empty and hopeless without the church and plan of salvation and I'd literally feel naked without my garments. 

[Sunday21]

@Zarahemla. I also find my garments to be very comforting. 

[Guest]

51 minutes ago, An Investigator said:

I have been a member of the Church for a year on Monday and I love it!  I have a brilliant ward, I've met some lovely friends and I really get involved in things.

Most Importantly though is my life has changed because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I have a very strong testimony of the truth of the Gospel.

Anyway, I have been chatting to a girl who lives near me, recent convert of 6 months and tonight she told me she has left the Church.   Why do people think new converts leave? Do you think I have just been really lucky in my ward? Do you think there is anything wards can do to stop new converts leaving?

Did she give you a reason?  Or was she "just not feeling it anymore?"

[An Investigator]

23 minutes ago, Anddenex said:

Scriptures that enter into my heart and mind;

1) 1 Nephi 8 -- the tree of life

2) The parable of the sower and where the seeds land.

3) Jacob 5

I am reminded once of a conversation I had with a convert of the Church who left the Church within a year of being baptized. He had been dating a young lady, not a member, and after baptized the bishop counseled with him to seek a polite way to end the relationship. He didn't and didn't understand why his bishop would invite such a request. He married his girlfriend which ended in divorce. One of the things he said stood out to me. He mentioned that because he was not well read, didn't study the doctrines, he misunderstood many things about the gospel. He was still seeing the gospel through the "magnifying glass" of the world, and not through the Holy Spirit. He said, when he finally returned back to what he knew to be true, and begin to study the "rod" himself, he now fully comprehends that he was given wisdom by a wise bishop, but his current knowledge interfered with spiritual knowledge. My father, if I am remembering correctly, went through a similar struggle between worldly knowledge and spiritual knowledge and application of that knowledge.

 

Yes! I think it's more being able to see things from an eternal perspective.   I have certainly struggled with the fact my husband isn't a member and the temple/ sealing. Having the faith to put it all in the Lords hands is hard sometimes, yet I have never wrestled that the Church isn't true, just prayed and fasted to put things in the proper perspective.    I think for me it all fell into place when I had my Patriarchal Blessing as I had questions and they were answered and after that I just knew Heavenly Fathers got this, no need to stress and now I'm preparing for my Endowment  

[An Investigator]

2 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Did she give you a reason?  Or was she "just not feeling it anymore?"

She has joined a mega church :/

[Anddenex]

Just now, An Investigator said:

I just knew Heavenly Fathers got this, no need to stress and now I'm preparing for my Endowment  

An important truth to remember! AND congrats on moving forward with your endowment!

[An Investigator]

7 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

@Zarahemla. I also find my garments to be very comforting. 

As a recent convert it's nice to hear stuff like this ?

[Sunday21]

@An Investigator. Congratulations on your upcoming endowments! I found getting my endowments and visiting the temple regularly really helped me in daily trials.

[person0]

4 minutes ago, An Investigator said:

She has joined a mega church :/

Well, that's probably the best reason of them all!  Does she invite you to the mega barbecues?  I would love to go sit in the back row of that great and spacious building for a couple hours every Sunday and be preached at and be saved!  

[An Investigator]

1 minute ago, Sunday21 said:

@An Investigator. Congratulations on your upcoming endowments! I found getting my endowments and visiting the temple regularly really helped me in daily trials.

Thank you, it's not a decision I have come to lightly but I feel good about it and progressing ?

[An Investigator]

1 minute ago, person0 said:

Well, that's probably the best reason of them all!  Does she invite you to the mega barbecues?  I would love to go sit in the back row of that great and spacious building for a couple hours every Sunday and be preached at and be saved!  

Ha! Even reading this gives me the  hebies 

[Sunday21]

3 minutes ago, An Investigator said:

Thank you, it's not a decision I have come to lightly but I feel good about it and progressing ?

You will love going to the temple! You can really feel God's love for you there!

[An Investigator]

Just now, Sunday21 said:

You will love going to the temple! You can really feel God's love for you there!

I already love going and doing baptisms so I have no doubt it's going to be awesome.. And I will be able to go when I want to instead of having to wait for a scheduled trip ?

[prisonchaplain]

42 minutes ago, person0 said:

Well, that's probably the best reason of them all!  Does she invite you to the mega barbecues?  I would love to go sit in the back row of that great and spacious building for a couple hours every Sunday and be preached at and be saved!  

Even I can see the little poke thy tongue is causing in thine cheek.    In reality, it probably is good that when people decide a new faith is not for them after all, that they at least find an alternative that keeps them heaven-focused.  Too often, when people leave a faith, they end up leaving faith altogether. Big churches can be good at equipping believers to live the Jesus life at home and work. They can also be places to hide (spiritually), get a bit of religion, and then casually live one's self-centered life, without too much accountability.

As to the OP:  Reasons I've heard for people leaving are that they were initially excited by the missionaries' zeal, and by the positive attention they received as investigators.  After the initial newness and attention wear off, they see that they signed up for much more than they realized and bail out.  Another hurdle, I've heard, is that when some go to the temple for the first time they struggle with how different it is from ward life. 

Just my outsider two-cents . . .

[omegaseamaster75]

3 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

 I'd literally feel naked without my garments. 

Without your garments you would be naked literally..

[Guest]

3 hours ago, An Investigator said:

She has joined a mega church :/

Yup.  Going for the glitz and glamour.

Often times people can't tell the difference between being emotionally uplifted by a charismatic leader vs. being inspired by the Spirit of God.  The emotional stuff is easy.  The Spirit of God is something that requires more of us.

All the same, it is probably better that she's got some religion in her life than none at all.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Guest

[person0]

2 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:

Even I can see the little poke thy tongue is causing in thine cheek.    In reality, it probably is good that when people decide a new faith is not for them after all, that they at least find an alternative that keeps them heaven-focused. . .

I just laugh it off these days when people ask me how many wives I want to have. . . either that or I tell them 'at least 7'!   In all sincerity though I agree with you to an extent, it is better to remain focused on God, and to have a positive spiritual influence in your life (assuming one actually does it).  In my experience, as in yours though, seldom is the case that someone leaves a faith and yet determines to adhere to the true moral principles that are common across most faiths.

I would have to admit though, I could never leave the Church unless I was completely convinced that it wasn't true.  Even if I were convinced it wasn't true, I would then have to be convinced that Christianity in general was not true before I would leave.  This is because, regardless of what people say about us, based on my personal research and studies, if you look at the actual doctrines that mainstream Christianity requires one to believe in order to be saved in heaven, Latter-Day Saints fit the bill.  If the Church isn't true, but Christ is, I still have no reason to go anywhere else, although I may not participate to the same extent.  If I were to decide that the Church wasn't true, then since the Book of Mormon is so clearly scriptural in nature when compared to the Bible, it could lead me to decide at some point that Christianity in general were not true, and if that happened, I would then become agnostic.  So as much as I agree a heaven centered approach would still be best upon leaving, it just couldn't happen for me the way my mind works (of course, I'm not new though).

Side Anecdote:  I once submitted a question to a popular mainstream Christian organization/website to ask them if failure to believe in the doctrine of trinity would bar someone from entering into heaven so long as they maintained their faith in Christ as Savior, and as the only way to be saved.  After much back and forth where they tried to convince me of the doctrine, and I pointed out why I didn't feel that the many scriptures they used would necessarily establish it, they said the following:

Quote

While we uphold the doctrine of the Trinity, I suppose that if you were to believe that God, being an infinite being, would have the power to create another infinite being, and that that being were his Son, Jesus Christ, then you could still accept the Holy Bible, and Christ as your personal savior, and be saved.

When I read that from them I literally did this: !!!!!  Followed by: .

[Maureen]

4 hours ago, person0 said:

Well, that's probably the best reason of them all!  Does she invite you to the mega barbecues?  I would love to go sit in the back row of that great and spacious building for a couple hours every Sunday and be preached at and be saved!  

Why does it sound like you are making fun of megachurches? Do you think they are evil?

The Remarkable Impact Of London's Flourishing Megachurches

...The report's co-author Dr Andrew Davies of the University of Birmingham, who grew up in an Assemblies of God church in the 1970s, said: "For these and many other large and growing British churches, Christianity is about relationship with God and is not reducible to a set of beliefs, rituals or values or to historic institutional culture."

He acknowledged recent figures showing decline in the Church of England but said there was also significant growth of completely new churchgoers, with 38,000 joining last year alone: "The people going to church now, go because they really believe in what they are doing." 

He said he did not believe religion in Britain was under threat but it needed more recognition in public life. 

"Christians believe that putting God into the picture is a fundamental part of the solution. One of the things we found quite remarkable about the megachurch approach is the breadth of offerings they have available."

Megachurches help people connect with others, often new arrivals to the city and to the country, and make friends. They also offer services in leadership, public speaking, food hygiene, teaching and many other areas. They can also help create an entrepreneurial culture in communities. However, they are not doing much to tackle "big" issues such as race and social justice, the report found.

Sarah Greenwood, London area manager for the Trussell Trust who looks after nearly 40 food banks, said megachurches could use their resources to do far more in terms of social action: "Although some of the megachurches do have foodbanks under their umbrella they are not carrying them forward, they are not very involved."

https://www.christiantoday.com/article/the.remarkable.impact.of.londons.flourishing.megachurches/99624.htm

M.

[Guest MormonGator]

33 minutes ago, Maureen said:

Why does it sound like you are making fun of megachurches? Do you think they are evil?

The Remarkable Impact Of London's Flourishing Megachurches

...The report's co-author Dr Andrew Davies of the University of Birmingham, who grew up in an Assemblies of God church in the 1970s, said: "For these and many other large and growing British churches, Christianity is about relationship with God and is not reducible to a set of beliefs, rituals or values or to historic institutional culture."

He acknowledged recent figures showing decline in the Church of England but said there was also significant growth of completely new churchgoers, with 38,000 joining last year alone: "The people going to church now, go because they really believe in what they are doing." 

He said he did not believe religion in Britain was under threat but it needed more recognition in public life. 

"Christians believe that putting God into the picture is a fundamental part of the solution. One of the things we found quite remarkable about the megachurch approach is the breadth of offerings they have available."

Megachurches help people connect with others, often new arrivals to the city and to the country, and make friends. They also offer services in leadership, public speaking, food hygiene, teaching and many other areas. They can also help create an entrepreneurial culture in communities. However, they are not doing much to tackle "big" issues such as race and social justice, the report found.

Sarah Greenwood, London area manager for the Trussell Trust who looks after nearly 40 food banks, said megachurches could use their resources to do far more in terms of social action: "Although some of the megachurches do have foodbanks under their umbrella they are not carrying them forward, they are not very involved."

https://www.christiantoday.com/article/the.remarkable.impact.of.londons.flourishing.megachurches/99624.htm

M.

You and I agree @Maureen, I find nothing wrong with "megachurches" either. I say that upfront. 

I've heard some people complain that megachurches water-down or cheapen doctrine in order to appeal to a mass audience. I think the people who complain about that might have a point in some cases. Some megachurch preachers sound more like motivational speakers than pastors. 

[Mormonheart]

12 hours ago, An Investigator said:

 Why do people think new converts leave? Do you think I have just been really lucky in my ward? Do you think there is anything wards can do to stop new converts leaving?

I think that some newly baptized members of the Church have put many expectations into their membership, expectations that have not been fulfilled. For, even members of the church are only human beings. We make mistakes, are imperfect. You see the imperfection of the members, see how some members are badly treated, but do not understand why that is so? They are disappointed because their expectations were not fulfilled. In my home ward there are some Africans who have applied for asylum.  I do not claim that they have become members of the Church, but I could imagine it with one. Some members are covert or openly racist, which may be another reason why they do not come anymore.
The mistakes do not always lie with the newly converted members of the Church, but sometimes also with the behavior of individual members.

 

[Mormonheart]

11 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

I would never leave. I'd feel naked and empty and hopeless without the church and plan of salvation and I'd literally feel naked without my garments. 

Never say never, bro!

This is a lesson that life has taught me. Today I could not imagine to be myself without the church and my testimony. But what about ten or twenty years later? If a heavy fate hits me, or I begin to doubt? What if the members or the prophet do something I feel as wrong? Although it is actually right ?! Such things have often led members (converted or not) to leave the church.