Kids and school lunches and what Christ would do

[Guest MormonGator]

2 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Consider, in a planet where malnutrition and hunger and starvation are things: We enlightened, rich, fat Americans consider it a virtue to identify types of food we will not eat. 

Amen.  

 

[eddified]

Reading between the lines, I'm suspecting it isn't about money. I could be wrong but it seems like maybe this is about the mom being a little lazy, thinking, "I can probably get away with not sending lunch most days, but on the off chance that my daughter gets too hungry, teacher can provide snacks. After all, it's hard to fit the time in to make lunches for my kids (or I have to work mornings, or whatever) and teacher loves kids, I'm sure she'd be happy to offer a snack in a pinch."

Edit: maybe "lazy" isn't the right word but it's the closest I can think of right now. I'd like to think of a better word that assumes the mom means well.

Edited April 21, 2017 by eddified

[anatess2]

3 minutes ago, eddified said:

Reading between the lines, I'm suspecting it isn't about money. I could be wrong but it seems like maybe this is about the mom being a little lazy, thinking, "I can probably get away with not sending lunch most days, but on the off chance that my daughter gets too hungry, teacher can provide snacks. After all, it's hard to fit the time in to make lunches for my kids (or I have to work mornings, or whatever) and teacher loves kids, I'm sure she'd be happy to offer a snack in a pinch."

Edit: maybe "lazy" isn't the right word but it's the closest I can think of right now. I'd like to think of a better word that assumes the mom means well.

"ignorant"?  As in... she is ignorant of the many options of grab-and-go snacks?  Like... have 5 apples in the refrigerator, 1 for each day of the week?  What's a "nicer" word for "ignorant"?

[my two cents]

10 minutes ago, eddified said:

If the dad is in stake leadership, and if poverty really is an issue, suggest that they ask their bishop to help with food. If you want to help out (optional), then offer a fast offering to your bishop. This is the correct route to go.

No, it's not.  People are first to turn to family for help (including extended).

Now back to regular programming ---

Edited April 21, 2017 by my two cents

[Vort]

5 minutes ago, eddified said:

Edit: maybe "lazy" isn't the right word but it's the closest I can think of right now. I'd like to think of a better word that assumes the mom means well.

But you're too lazy to do it.

[The Folk Prophet]

1 hour ago, Backroads said:

This is a tweak of a post I put on my teacher forum, now looking for a more LDS perspective. 

Today one of my students hands me a note from her mother. Mom apparently doesn't like the cafeteria food and doesn't want Daughter eating it. (It's really not that bad, very healthy).  She also doesn't have enough time to prep lunches. So the note basically said Daughter will be eating at home after school, but would I mind perhaps keeping something healthy snacks and small lunch items in case Daughter get hungry?

Yeah, I mind. I really am in the camp of not buying for students what their families should be buying for them. 

Sure, the possibility this might be a money issue they're trying to deflect did pop into my mind. This family isn't the poorest at our school by any lengths (and we got poverty, let me tell you) but people go through hard times and with a month left of school getting on free or reduced lunch might be too much of a hassle for them. However, I also had another mom in the class forbid her daughter from eating school lunch because the food. isn't organic.

Either way, I'm a bit peeved this is aiming to become my problem. I either have to deal with a hungry kid in the afternoons or buy her lunch myself. Today one of the aids is finding her something to eat as I didn't even bring food for myself today.

Am I being a rotten teacher or, more importantly, unChristlike over this?

Refuse to comply, then call child services the first day the kid is going hungry.

[my two cents]

I'm also in the 'do not enable this mother' camp and no, you're not being unchristlike for establishing a boundary.

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Refuse to comply, then call child services the first day the kid is going hungry.

I realize FP was joking, but @Backroads, you may want to let the mother know that if her child is left without a lunch, the only option the school has for her is the standard school lunches.  Let her know that it is the school she's dealing with, not an individual teacher.  You may even want to make her clearly aware that you simply don't have the financial means to feed others -- not on a teacher's salary.

But if she continues to refuse to allow her daughter to eat the food, ask her what she plans on doing for her daughter's nutritional needs.  Make it sound ominous.

The fact is that if she realizes that it is HER responsibility to make sure her daughter gets fed, then she'll either have to step up her game, or give in and allow the daughter to each school lunches on those days when she cannot pack a lunch for her.  I think you'll find that the daughter will be eating school lunches all the time.

Edited April 21, 2017 by Guest

[The Folk Prophet]

Just now, Carborendum said:

I realize FP was joking,

Not.

Well...depends on the age of the kid, etc. What I'd really do is what you suggest. If the parent sends the kid without lunch, give them a school lunch.

I have no sympathy for parents who won't take care of their kids and then demand special treatment.

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Not.

Well...depends on the age of the kid, etc. What I'd really do is what you suggest. If the parent sends the kid without lunch, give them a school lunch.

I have no sympathy for parents who won't take care of their kids and then demand special treatment.

So if I drove 1MPH over the speed limit...

[Guest MormonGator]

14 minutes ago, my two cents said:

you're not being unchristlike for establishing a boundary.

Exactly. I think many religious people need to learn this. Obviously, it's not an insult. It's better to be too compassionate and caring then to be overly cold and cruel. 

[The Folk Prophet]

11 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

So if I drove 1MPH over the speed limit...

Huh?

[my two cents]

Was going to run an errand but can't find my keys so I'll respond further - 

What would be Christlike is preventing this from happening to other teachers in this child's future so I suggest trying to turn it into a teaching moment for the mom.  An ounce of prevention...

[Guest MormonGator]

8 minutes ago, my two cents said:

Was going to run an errand but can't find my keys so I'll respond further - 

Yikes! I'll issue an amber alert for your missing keys. Good luck! 

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Huh?

cross-thread joke.

[eddified]

50 minutes ago, Vort said:

But you're too lazy to do it.

Touche. "I should really be working instead" is what I really should have said. 

Seriously though, thinking of the right word is for some reason, very, VERY hard for me. Especially in spoken conversations. Just not something I'm good at.

Edited April 21, 2017 by eddified

[Vort]

4 minutes ago, eddified said:

Touche. "I should really be working instead" is what I really should have said. 

Seriously though, thinking of the right word is for some reason, very, VERY hard for me. Especially in spoken conversations. Just not something I'm good at.

I was just teasing you. I actually think "lazy" is exactly the right word. However, I think you might have been going for something more along the lines of "dodging responsibility" or "offloading the onus onto someone else". Which IMO is the same as "lazy".

[Guest MormonGator]

6 minutes ago, Vort said:

I was just teasing you. 

Teasing anyone is not allowed and is a strict violation of site rules, and LDS conduct. For shame, @Vort. For shame. I demand you apologize to @eddified, to me, and to everyone else. 

Edited April 21, 2017 by MormonGator

[Mike]

2 hours ago, Backroads said:

 ... Yeah, I mind. I really am in the camp of not buying for students what their families should be buying for them. 

 ... Either way, I'm a bit peeved this is aiming to become my problem. I either have to deal with a hungry kid in the afternoons or buy her lunch myself. Today one of the aids is finding her something to eat as I didn't even bring food for myself today. ...

Forgive me if I missed comments from someone else. I'm wondering whether your Principal has any role to play in this and what kind of support a teacher should expect. I'm also wondering if your relationship with the parents is such that you can talk with them about the issue? 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Backroads said:

would I mind perhaps keeping something healthy snacks and small lunch items in case Daughter get hungry?

I've been thinking (a dangerous pass time, I know).  It seems to me that your appropriate response would be:

Quote

Yes, we have plenty of healthy snacks at the cafeteria on those days you don't have time for home packed lunches.

This is MADE to dismiss her estimation of the food quality at the cafeteria while acknowledging what she wrote.

If she raises a fuss about the unhealthy food, you tell her kindly and innocently, well, the school lunches are all I can afford for myself.  So, I simply don't have the funds to buy food for your daughter, I'm afraid.  But if your daughter goes too many days without lunch, I'm afraid the school cannot legally keep her from going to the cafeteria.  And that might start people wondering about her health.  It could easily give the impression that your daughter is anorexic.  I'd hate to see how that turns out.

That is made to push the panic button insider her while having you on her side of that panic.

Man, I didn't know I could be that good at manipulation.

Edited April 21, 2017 by Guest

[Guest]

I have a big headache today and my reading comprehension might not be the best, but could she be asking for permission to send food and have you keep it there?

[NeuroTypical]

Dangit Eowyn, you have to come along and ruin a perfectly good gossipy thread with an attempt at charity?  Talk about Friday bummers.

[Guest]

Haha happy to help.

[yjacket]

7 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Dangit Eowyn, you have to come along and ruin a perfectly good gossipy thread with an attempt at charity?  Talk about Friday bummers.

Haha . . .that is probably what is it (at least I hope)

Edited April 21, 2017 by yjacket

[pam]

12 hours ago, anatess2 said:

The answer to the question depends on how you respond to the parent.

This is what I would do for a minimum:

Send a note to the parent listing healthy no-prep snacks (fruit, veggies, etc.) and the price tag of each from the local grocery store.  Then tell her that you'd gladly stock your classroom with these for her child but you will need to raise donations to cover the cost before you can do so.

 

But because I'm an over-achiever:

I would enclose all my Bento Lunch pictures and offer to teach the parent and her daughter how to prep lunch in under 10 minutes.

Side note:  I taught my boys to make their own lunches when they were in 1st grade.  Of course, they didn't get to practice it much because I really like making lunches.  But, when I have to go travel, they make their own lunches and they're what I would make.

I wouldn't even do that.  Teachers already spend a tremendous amount of their own time on classroom things.  Why should the teacher have to spend more time preparing and keeping snacks.  She is the teacher not the parent.