Age-related humor

[Vort]

When I was a teenager, I got my mom the funniest birthday card ever. I remember only two things about the birthday card:

1. It was the funniest birthday card ever. I think I might have mentioned that.
2. The hilarity was based around her age, because she was so old, you see. (She must have been in her mid-40s at the time.)

I was disappointed when my mother, on reading the card, forced a fake laugh and put it aside. Clearly, she hadn't enjoyed my clever sense of humor as much as I thought she would have. So began my sensitivity training on the topic of age-related humor. Decades of experience has given me vast insight into the topic of making jokes about a woman's age, which I can distill down to the following rule of thumb:

Don't.

Just in case anyone was interested in my wisdom. You are welcome.

 

[NeuroTypical]

29.  The magic number is 29.

[zil]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

29.  The magic number is 29.

After turning 29, one stops having birthdays and starts having anniversaries of their 29th birthday.   (I thought everyone knew that.)

[prisonchaplain]

The biggest age-related crisis in my life came at 25. I thought, "Wow. I'm about one-third of the way through my life. What have I accomplished?" In making my assessment, I came away pretty satisfied (still working on humility--it's as difficult as golf!). Like many here, I had completed multiple years of missionary work, finished my schooling (though I would later do more), and held the kind of work I knew I could do for decades.

The biggest-age-related surprise was finally turning 50 and realizing it was a good thing. I've got the house, the beautiful wife, the loving children, the meaningful vocation, and...and...I'M EVEN THE NON-LDS MODERATOR AT LDS.NET. Life is good. I've earned these years. Why am I stressing! The 50s have been much easier than my 40s were (when I was approaching 50 and feeling nervous).

[Guest]

In my extended family, I'm the oldest of my generation.  Yet I didn't gray.  My younger cohorts have already gone beyond the salt and pepper stage to full on gray. One is almost silver. 

They were discussing this when I came upon their conversation.  They looked at me with that "I hate you" look.  When they told me the topic of discussion, I pointed to my discovery earlier that day.  I had a single gray hair.  They had to gather close to view it.  I felt like I was back in Phoenix when we all gathered around the single snowflake falling from the sky.

Anyway, we all felt the irony when all these younger men welcomed me to the old man's club.  (Shakes head).

[Sunday21]

I once spent about 30 minutes in a drug store debating whether or not to buy my brother, who is 18 months older than me, a card depicting the grim reaper with the caption, 'Ready?'

i decided the card would be in bad taste. I await the day when my younger friends and relatives, some of them 6 months younger than myself, come to a similar realization. In the meantime, I have quite a card collection!

[zil]

56 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

In my extended family, I'm the oldest of my generation.  Yet I didn't gray.  My younger cohorts have already gone beyond the salt and pepper stage to full on gray. One is almost silver. 

They were discussing this when I came upon their conversation.  They looked at me with that "I hate you" look.  When they told me the topic of discussion, I pointed to my discovery earlier that day.  I had a single gray hair.  They had to gather close to view it.  I felt like I was back in Phoenix when we all gathered around the single snowflake falling from the sky.

Anyway, we all felt the irony when all these younger men welcomed me to the old man's club.  (Shakes head).

I do not comprehend humans.

[NeuroTypical]

My youthful vigor died the first time some random teenager called me "sir".  I was in my late '20's.  

It's ok though, seasoned sagacity has many benefits. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, zil said:

I do not comprehend humans.

More proof you are a cyborg.  Just try to deny it now.

[Fether]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

My youthful vigor died the first time some random teenager called me "sir".  I was in my late '20's.  

 

Black people called me that all the time when I was on my mission. I was 18...

Edited August 5, 2017 by Fether

[NeuroTypical]

You're only as old as you feel.  For example, just look at this hidden video of Vort.

 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

You're only as old as you feel.  For example, just look at this hidden video of Vort.

 

Man! That was so real! 

[Vort]

2 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

You're only as old as you feel.  For example, just look at this hidden video of Vort.

 

It was the hat that proved my coolness.

[seashmore]

I took my 14 years younger sister to the ER with kidney stones the other night, and for the first time in about fifteen years, I was mistaken for her mother. It's because I had my glasses and work uniform on. Otherwise, I look exactly the same as I did eighteen  years ago, when I was a freshman in high school. I tell the haters it's because I don't have kids.