Dr T Posted January 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Q: How do mules open locked barns? A: With don keys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShorty Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 When is a cook mean? When he beats the eggs and whips the cream. Would you like to hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in a mud puddle. Would you like to hear a clean joke? He took a bath. Knock Knock Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no panth, I'm going swimming Knock Knock. Who's there Atch Atch who? Do you have a cold? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShorty Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence. What time should you visit the dentist? Two thirty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 What is a chickens favorite composer? Bach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshinewai Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 lol What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.. :) Loving these lame jokes :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ctr123 Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 this may have been told but its my favorite lame joke What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom? It's time to go to sweep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Why was the broom late? He over-swept! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tbaird22 Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 What do cows like to do for fun? Go to the moooovies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tbaird22 Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tbaird22 Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Why shouldn’t you take a pokemon into the bathroom? He might Pikachu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Elephant and Fridge JokesHow do you fit three elephants in a Mini?Two in the front, two in the back.How do you know if an elephant's been in your fridge?Footprints in the butter.How do you tell if two elephants have been in your fridge?Two sets of footprints in the butter.How do you tell if three elephants have been in your fridge?Three sets of footprints in the butter.How do you tell if four elephants have been in your fridge?There's a Mini parked outside.What's white and wears checked trousers?Rupert the Fridge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted January 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2012 Q: What did Delaware? A: Idaho, Alaska I actually liked this joke! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipplecutBuddha Posted January 19, 2012 Report Share Posted January 19, 2012 Why aren't orchestras on television anymore? too much sax and violins. How much does a pirate pay for peircings? A buck an ear. A man goes into a diner and asks for a peice of pie. The waitress says "What kind ya want...apple or cherry?" Her voice sounds painfully rough, so he asks her "Have you got laryngitis?" "Nope, just apple or cherry..." Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It appears to be the backstroke, sir. A man bites into a peice of pie at a diner, It tastes so bad he almost spits it out. "What kind of pie is this??" The waitress says "What's it taste like?" "It tastes like mud!!" "Oh, that'd be the apple pie, the cherry pie tastes like old carpet." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted January 19, 2012 Report Share Posted January 19, 2012 Q: What did Delaware?A: Idaho, AlaskaI actually liked this joke!I thought she wore a New Jersey What did Idaho?A: a marylandwhat do monsters like on top of their potatoes?grave-y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipplecutBuddha Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 I thought she wore a New Jersey What did Idaho?A: a marylandwhat do monsters like on top of their potatoes?grave-yThe version I heard was this;What would Delaware if Mississippi borrowed her New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipplecutBuddha Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 I was checked into the hospital with high blood pressure. The expert medical staff was able to bring it down safely in short order, but they were concerned it may rise again, so I was held overnight for observation. Just before I went to sleep that night, a nurse and the doctor came into my room. The doctor was holding a large feline, and the nurse had two big black dogs on leashes. They just stood there, all five of them...staring at me. Then the doctor said "Okay, that'll do nicely." and then they left. A few weeks later I was at the doctor's office and he handed me a bill for 900 dollars. I said "what is this bill for? I already paid for the ER and overnight stay." He said "Yes, but you still owe 400 for the cat scan, and 500 for the lab fees." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted January 22, 2012 Report Share Posted January 22, 2012 First man: Fairer th...th... fairer th...th...than th...th.... f...f...fairer th..th....than th....Second man: You can't say "fairer than that"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 First man: Fairer th...th... fairer th...th...than th...th.... f...f...fairer th..th....than th....Second man: You can't say "fairer than that"!Like that song from Oklahoma! goes, "I'm just a girl who can't say nnnnnnn-, nnnnnn-, nnnNNNNnnn-..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alonza Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 (edited) Hi.............Really so funny joke, I like all so much.You make my today so good.Thanks a lot for sharing. :DBingo Cards Edited January 28, 2012 by Alonza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted June 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 Q: "What do you do with a fish that sings flat?" A: Tuna fish. I loved this lame one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipplecutBuddha Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. Of course you can tuna fish....just play the scales..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.Of course you can tuna fish....just play the scales.....I thought that was only true with bass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 I can't believe this thread has been around for so long and I hadn't added to it until now. This is a two-parter: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants! What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants wearing sunglasses? He didn't say anything, he didn't recognize them. :) :) :) M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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