Married members with high traveling jobs (50% or more travel)

[darthzilla99]

I just wanted to get some perspective from member families with high travel jobs. Even better if I can hear from members who work in land or marine surveying. 

1. Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?

 

Thanks.

[Overwatch]

1. Yes. By having a strong base on the Gospel and Jesus Christ.

2. Yes. Just didn't go out very often with them.

3. Yes. Go to the singles wards

[Maureen]

40 minutes ago, darthzilla99 said:

...2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?...

Just wanted to point out that even if you do go to a bar you don't have to order an alcoholic beverage. They do have non-alcoholic choices too.

M.

Edited August 10, 2018 by Maureen

[Sunday21]

I am lds and have spent many an hour in bars drinking coke. No problem. Besides alcohol tastes terrible. There is a reason why there are cocktails designed to disguise the flavour of alcohol. 

[Just_A_Guy]

25 minutes ago, darthzilla99 said:

I just wanted to get some perspective from member families with high travel jobs. Even better if I can hear from members who work in land or marine surveying. 

1. Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?

 

Thanks.

I just finished an 18-month stint working 150 miles from home—lived in an apartment during the week and returned home on weekends.

1). It was hard on family (we have six kids, all under 12 years); less so on me since I am by nature an introvert and don’t mind being alone so much.  I talked to my wife every evening on the phone for a good hour and a half or so; which included couples scripture study.  Also, a separate call each night for family prayers and a quick interview with a different kid each night.  

2). I was still in a heavily Mormon office; so not really.  I didn’t really crave social contact outside of work though (due to the introvert thing); and I was able to maintain amicable-yet-professional relationships with coworkers without putting a lot of non-working time into those relationships.  When I wasn’t at work, I was usually in my apartment reading.

3). No, I met my wife in college.  Spent a summer doing the long-distance thing while I was working out-of-state, though.  

[Lost Boy]

Yeah, been there done that. 

1) frequent calls to my wife and kids. Now I would probably do video chat 

2) went to many bars. Never had an alcoholic drink. Just let my coworkers know that I didn't drink. 

 

Now for a harder question.  Have you ever been asked to go on a business trip with a coworker of the opposite sex, especially a good looking one and you only had one car to share so eating out with this coworker would be a given. 

Would you voluntarily tell your spouse without you having to ask? Would you go? What if it was for a week or more? What if the person was a bit flirty with you? 

[Jane_Doe]

12 hours ago, darthzilla99 said:

I just wanted to get some perspective from member families with high travel jobs. Even better if I can hear from members who work in land or marine surveying. 

1. Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?

 

Thanks.

i worked 200 miles from my boyfriend then fiancé, then first year husband.  I'd be gone for 4-5 days during the week, and then home for the weekend.  

1.  It was just our life-- gone for a few days, and then he had my undivided attention for a few days.  When I had cell service we would call and have long conversations.  After we had kids though I moved to different duties.  It wasn't okay for me to be gone multiple days with a newborn at home.  

2. The bigger question is whether or not you can keep the Lord's standards when you're by yourself.  I can, but know others who can't.  I've been to many bars (for conferences it's pretty mandated), never took a drink-- coworkers knew I wasn't into that and respected it.

3.  haha-- he actually formally asked me out when I got that job because he was afraid of loosing me if he didn't formally ask.  

[anatess2]

13 hours ago, darthzilla99 said:

I just wanted to get some perspective from member families with high travel jobs. Even better if I can hear from members who work in land or marine surveying. 

1. Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?

 

Thanks.

I used to travel Monday morning coming home on Friday night for my job.  

1. Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?
It was harder than not travelling of course.  But I wasn't stressed about it.  I wanted the money so I can buy a bigger house.  At first, I would get off work and get lonely so I would go home and travel again very early in the morning the next day.  It was getting super expensive so he got me an African Grey parrot - a baby that couldn't fly yet and had to be hand fed - to talk to and keep myself occupied.  The parrot traveled with me.  He was expensive but it was cheaper than me going home in the middle of the week only to go back the next day.   Situations like these, you get through it by constant communication.  I started that job way before the iPhone was invented.  So landlines and pagers were still the thing. 

Then I got pregnant so I quit the job.  Then my kids started school, my old job begged for me to come back, so I worked again.  I would go Tuesday come home Thursday.  That was ok.  My mother and mother-in-law took care of the kids for the 3 days I'm gone until my husband got off work.  A few months of that and my boss decided to cut costs and sell my office.  Told me not to bother going to the office except for in-person meetings which only happens rarely.  I've been working from home ever since.

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?
I don't drink.  So I don't go to bars.  My husband got me a season's pass for the theme park so I can go there everytime I got bored.  I usually went with my coworkers.  If what you're actually asking is - are you tempted to have an affair - then the answer is no.  My husband is my husband.  There's nobody else I want besides my husband and I only engage in physical intimacy with my husband.

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?
My husband was a runway model before we got married.  He traveled everywhere.  You're going to laugh out loud - I met my husband at a club... with a bar.

 

Edited August 10, 2018 by anatess2

[anatess2]

13 hours ago, darthzilla99 said:

I just wanted to get some perspective from member families with high travel jobs. Even better if I can hear from members who work in land or marine surveying. 

1. Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?

 

Thanks.

This one is a perspective from my in-laws.  My father-in-law served in the military for 40 years.

1.  Was it hard on the family? How did you get through it?
YES.
By the skin of their teeth and the comfort of the ward.

2. Did you have problems or temptations with coworkers wanting you to go to the bar with them?
I'm fairly certain my father-in-law is not worried about bars.  He's too occupied being worried about coming home alive especially with things like Desert Storm.

3. Did any of you have high traveling jobs when you were single? If so, how did you meet your spouse?
Father-in-law was already in the military as a single man.  My in-laws met in high school.

Edited August 10, 2018 by anatess2

[omegaseamaster75]

6 hours ago, Lost Boy said:

Now for a harder question.  Have you ever been asked to go on a business trip with a coworker of the opposite sex, especially a good looking one and you only had one car to share so eating out with this coworker would be a given. 

Would you voluntarily tell your spouse without you having to ask? Would you go? What if it was for a week or more? What if the person was a bit flirty with you? 

Yes I would tell my wife who was going on the trip. Yes I would go on the trip (if I don't go I get fired right?). Who cares how long it's for.  Start talking about your wife and kids, the flirty stuff should stop. 

[Lost Boy]

2 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Yes I would tell my wife who was going on the trip. Yes I would go on the trip (if I don't go I get fired right?). Who cares how long it's for.  Start talking about your wife and kids, the flirty stuff should stop. 

I have not been in that exact same situation.  I did end up on a 6 month assignment with a female coworker in a foreign country.  However, we did not share a car nor were we in the same hotel.  We each had our own apartments and rode bicycles to work.  In that 6 month time, I think I might have had a one on one meal with her one time.  I made it a point to keep it professional and that is all.  She wanted to go do things on the weekend together as she was pretty lonely.  I decided that could be too easy to get close to her so I never did anything with her on the weekends.  It just isn't worth it getting friendly with her.  Way too much to jeopardize. 

[anatess2]

7 hours ago, Lost Boy said:

Now for a harder question.  Have you ever been asked to go on a business trip with a coworker of the opposite sex, especially a good looking one and you only had one car to share so eating out with this coworker would be a given. 

Would you voluntarily tell your spouse without you having to ask? Would you go? What if it was for a week or more? What if the person was a bit flirty with you? 

When I worked out of town (going Monday coming home Friday), my studio apartment was next-door to a coworker - single, male.  He was the only friend I had at the time in that place.  He had a brother living in the same apartment building so I got to be good friends with him too.  We would lunch almost everyday, and hang out after work, playing tennis, go to theme parks, etc.  My husband and I talked all the time when I was out of town so, of course, he knows when I'm with the guy.  About flirty people (I've had a few of those, but not those brothers) - I can't control what they do.  But there's no point flirting with me.  I'm not interested and I tell them so.  If they persist I'm just going to be annoyed and consider it harassment.  I could get them fired.  And they know it.  So, I've never been in a situation where I tell them "married.  not interested." and they don't stop.

Edited August 10, 2018 by anatess2

[Jane_Doe]

When I'm traveling out of town, I'm almost always with a male co-worker (>80% of my co-workers are male).  I do believe men and women can be friends and behave themselves.  When I'm traveling I'll be with this coworker ~18 hours a day, from 7 AM to 1 AM.  We eat together, drive together, work together, joke together, etc.  And also keep boundaries and just be good friends.  All of my co-workers know my husband is the most important adult in my life and he always comes first, and they are supportive of that-- just as I am supportive of their marriages (when applicable).