Please can you give me some advice on attending church with a baby?

[Alia]

13 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Earlier you shared the story about your dad taking away your bed for the night because you were jumping on it.  Would you feel guilty for doing the same if your son was jumping on his bed?

Yes I would never make my son sleep on the floor. 

[Jane_Doe]

2 hours ago, Alia said:

Yes I would never make my son sleep on the floor. 

Earlier you explained how it was a good thing that your dad taught you this lesson.  Why not give your son the same good thing?

[Alia]

5 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Earlier you explained how it was a good thing that your dad taught you this lesson.  Why not give your son the same good thing?

I think there is a kinder way of teaching a child not to jump on their bed. There are definitely lessons I want my son to learn and I would like to teach him. I am just still unsure as to how I will teach him those lessons. 

[Jane_Doe]

4 minutes ago, Alia said:

I think there is a kinder way of teaching a child not to jump on their bed. There are definitely lessons I want my son to learn and I would like to teach him. I am just still unsure as to how I will teach him those lessons. 

We do need to teach things as parents.  That usually involves being kind AND stern.  Kindness with no sternness is just wishy-washy spoiling.  Sterness without kindness drives people away.  Sometimes you got to be "the bad guy" (like my daughter literally broke her bed from jumping) and sometimes things get rewarded (like she gathered the laundry today and got a marshmallow).  

It is great you're taking a parenting class, I hope it goes well!

[Alia]

23 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

We do need to teach things as parents.  That usually involves being kind AND stern.  Kindness with no sternness is just wishy-washy spoiling.  Sterness without kindness drives people away.  Sometimes you got to be "the bad guy" (like my daughter literally broke her bed from jumping) and sometimes things get rewarded (like she gathered the laundry today and got a marshmallow).  

It is great you're taking a parenting class, I hope it goes well!

Yes I am looking forward to it. 

[Alia]

My husband came with me and my son to church today and I don't know how he did it but he managed to quietly entertain our son for 30 minutes. Then he took our son out for the rest so I could stay in the meeting, it was a better week this week. 

[anatess2]

On 2/15/2019 at 4:28 PM, Alia said:

I always loved my dad, he taught me so much. In some ways my relationship with my dad was better than my relationship with my mom. 

That's not how it came off in this thread.

 

Quote

 

Yes I know that I may not be able to leave all of the discipline to my husband. It is just at the moment I can't imagine telling him off but maybe when he is a bit older it will be more natural to me. 

You can't "tell off" a 17-month old child.  Discipline is not about "telling off".  It's about teaching.  The student is the disciple... discipline - disciple. 

The only problem with the expectation of when he is a bit older is that... things you learn early becomes a part of you.  So, you might end up having to correct bad habits when you're finally ready to instill discipline.  So it might be that when you think things would become easier, it became harder.  Because it is always harder to correct a learned behavior than to teach new behavior.

Edited February 18, 2019 by anatess2

[Vort]

19 hours ago, Alia said:

My husband came with me and my son to church today and I don't know how he did it but he managed to quietly entertain our son for 30 minutes. Then he took our son out for the rest so I could stay in the meeting, it was a better week this week. 

Great to hear, Alia.

[anatess2]

21 hours ago, Alia said:

My husband came with me and my son to church today and I don't know how he did it but he managed to quietly entertain our son for 30 minutes. Then he took our son out for the rest so I could stay in the meeting, it was a better week this week. 

This is great to hear!

Try taking him to nursery next week and see how it goes.

[Alia]

3 hours ago, Vort said:

Great to hear, Alia.

I don't know what my husband has that I haven't got. 

[Alia]

3 hours ago, anatess2 said:

That's not how it came off in this thread.

 

He was definitely the disciplinarian but we were still very close. I may have mentioned my mom more because my dad was often deployed when I was growing up so I was mainly raised by my mom. 

 

4 hours ago, anatess2 said:

You can't "tell off" a 17-month old child.  Discipline is not about "telling off".  It's about teaching.  The student is the disciple... discipline - disciple. 

 

My husband manages it, our son just pouts but he does listen. 

[Alia]

1 hour ago, anatess2 said:

 Try taking him to nursery next week and see how it goes.

I don't know if I am ready to spend 2 hours at church. I am only just getting used to going to church again

Edited February 18, 2019 by Alia

[Alia]

So I haven't been to church in 7 weeks and I know I should go but I can't motivate myself to go. Also, I am really struggling to pray and I feel so guilty when I randomly think about it that I haven't  prayed for my son but still I don't pray. Do you have any advice for me to motivate me to go? I am actually planing on going tomorrow because my husband is planning on going. 

[Sunday21]

4 hours ago, Alia said:

So I haven't been to church in 7 weeks and I know I should go but I can't motivate myself to go. Also, I am really struggling to pray and I feel so guilty when I randomly think about it that I haven't  prayed for my son but still I don't pray. Do you have any advice for me to motivate me to go? I am actually planing on going tomorrow because my husband is planning on going. 

Hope tomorrow goes well! Perhaps you could attend some activities for awhile if you can’t motivate yourself to go to sacrament? Maybe attend when son is older? 

[AbramM]

20 hours ago, Alia said:

So I haven't been to church in 7 weeks and I know I should go but I can't motivate myself to go. Also, I am really struggling to pray and I feel so guilty when I randomly think about it that I haven't  prayed for my son but still I don't pray. Do you have any advice for me to motivate me to go? I am actually planing on going tomorrow because my husband is planning on going. 

I used to always struggle with prayer and I have had times in my life where I found it a chore to go to church and wouldn't go every week. I'd only go sporadically but what I realised is that to become part of the church community it is necessary to go often. Otherwise, you may always feel dread about going. 

When I would struggle praying I would just write down some things that are troubling me or things I'm struggling with and then later read it over again in a prayer. 

[Alia]

17 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

Hope tomorrow goes well! 

I didn't make it to church. There is always next week 

 

[Alia]

1 hour ago, AbramM said:

I used to always struggle with prayer and I have had times in my life where I found it a chore to go to church and wouldn't go every week. I'd only go sporadically but what I realised is that to become part of the church community it is necessary to go often. Otherwise, you may always feel dread about going. 

 When I would struggle praying I would just write down some things that are troubling me or things I'm struggling with and then later read it over again in a prayer. 

 I don't have any kind of church community and I'm not desperate to have it. Potentially, it would make going to church easier. 

I've never found it natural to pray but I will try with writing them down.   

 

[Manners Matter]

On ‎4‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 4:16 PM, Alia said:

So I haven't been to church in 7 weeks and I know I should go but I can't motivate myself to go. Do you have any advice for me to motivate me to go?

https://www.thuswesee.com/2014/10/every-week-sacrament/

Motivation for going to church (in no particular order):

~ because you love God and appreciate all that He has done for you

~ because you want to keep the commandments

~ because you want to be a person of integrity and be dependable and keep your commitments

~ because you are privileged to live in a country where you can (thanks to those who fought for this right!)

~ because you want to set an example for your husband and son of doing the right thing

~ because you want to follow the Lord and not the adversary

~ because we are living in chaotic times and you *need* the armor

~ because you'll be happy you did

~ because your attendance is a strength to others

~ because you need the peace that comes from doing so

~ because you need oil for your lamp

~ because you want to be part of the wheat and not the tares

Edited April 21, 2019 by Manners Matter

[Manners Matter]

Oh - and it never hurts to set up a reward system for yourself! Stop at the bakery on Saturday and get your favorite treat to enjoy when you get home from church the next day. 

[AbramM]

1 hour ago, Alia said:

 I don't have any kind of church community and I'm not desperate to have it. Potentially, it would make going to church easier. 

I've never found it natural to pray but I will try with writing them down.   

 

Your brother is a baptist minister right? He can easily have a woman on his prayer team mentor you if you ask him. I had a prayer mentor in the past because I struggled to know what to pray or how to pray etc. The verse below is in Romans 8 verse 26. It shows that what we pray doesn't matter too much as the spirit is praying with us.

 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

[AbramM]

Also regarding going to church and having community there it is important. The bible says do not forsake the gathering of God's people. I hope God will give you the conviction to have fellowship with believers and for community at your church 

Hebrews 10:25  25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

 

[Alia]

22 hours ago, AbramM said:

Your brother is a baptist minister right? He can easily have a woman on his prayer team mentor you if you ask him. I had a prayer mentor in the past because I struggled to know what to pray or how to pray etc. The verse below is in Romans 8 verse 26. It shows that what we pray doesn't matter too much as the spirit is praying with us.

 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Yes my brother is a baptist minister. I am thinking of going to his church for a while because my mom will be there to help me and I have friends there and I will be like a celebrity as I'm the minister's sister. I haven't heard that verse in a long time. 

[Jane_Doe]

3 hours ago, Alia said:

Yes my brother is a baptist minister. I am thinking of going to his church for a while because my mom will be there to help me and I have friends there and I will be like a celebrity as I'm the minister's sister. I haven't heard that verse in a long time. 

You could also reach out to some of your Ministering Sisters and get to know them as friends.  Perhaps arranging a play date at the park?  Double-dipping kids exercise and mommy-social time!

[anatess2]

On 4/21/2019 at 1:18 PM, AbramM said:

I used to always struggle with prayer

I have a suggestion for you.

Before you go to bed everyday, say this prayer:

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am very grateful for <insert the best part of the day>.  I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen".

That's it.

Do it every single day before bed.

[Alia]

19 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

You could also reach out to some of your Ministering Sisters and get to know them as friends.  Perhaps arranging a play date at the park?  Double-dipping kids exercise and mommy-social time!

I'm not one of those people who can make friends.  The though of even talking to someone I don't know at church makes me feel nauseous.