Ward Boundary Changes

[Guest MormonGator]

1 hour ago, LadyGunnar said:

Or I can sell this house and move somewhere that my kids will have other youth. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not have any youth your age?

I think you see suffering different than I do.  

He might be on to something. We should try to make life as miserable as possible. You should sell your house, give your kids up for adoption, divorce your husband, and live in a tent in rural Alaska. In fact, maybe just a sleeping bag. No tent. 

Edited November 24, 2019 by MormonGator

[Grunt]

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

He might be on to something. We should try to make life as miserable as possible. You should sell your house, give your kids up for adoption, divorce your husband, and live in a tent in rural Alaska. In fact, maybe just a sleeping bag. No tent. 

If that's inspired, then absolutely.  That wasn't what the Spirit confirmed for her, though.  He just confirmed a ward.  Big difference.

[Guest MormonGator]

11 minutes ago, Grunt said:

If that's inspired, then absolutely.  That wasn't what the Spirit confirmed for her, though.  He just confirmed a ward.  Big difference.

I was obviously kidding.

[Grunt]

2 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

I was obviously kidding.

Ok.  I took it more as exaggeration to make a point.

[Vort]

3 hours ago, LadyGunnar said:

I think you see suffering different than I do.

I'm pretty confident that estradling's point was to model for you a different understanding of suffering than the one you currently hold.

[Vort]

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

He might be on to something. We should try to make life as miserable as possible. You should sell your house, give your kids up for adoption, divorce your husband, and live in a tent in rural Alaska. In fact, maybe just a sleeping bag. No tent. 

MG, no one suggests that you go in search of suffering. But when the trials come, sometimes running away from them is not the best response.

[Guest MormonGator]

43 minutes ago, Vort said:

MG, no one suggests that you go in search of suffering. 

Oh thank goodness that is clear. Because I was going to burn your house down than spend twenty minutes pointing and laughing and you. Than slap you on the back and say "Suck it up cupcake. Life is suffering" Then I was going to kick your dog a few times. 

43 minutes ago, Vort said:

But when the trials come, sometimes running away from them is not the best response.

I tend to agree, though everyone, even you, has a point when they actually have to walk away to protect things like their mental health, and more importantly, their testimony. 
 

Edited November 24, 2019 by MormonGator

[LadyGunnar]

1 hour ago, Vort said:

I'm pretty confident that estradling's point was to model for you a different understanding of suffering than the one you currently hold.

I know what suffering is. Holding your dead child in your arms, watching your parent disappear due to Alzheimer's,  watching my dad and fil fight cancers, one lost his battle with it.  I have dealt with this all in the last 6 years. I know what suffering is.

Edited November 24, 2019 by LadyGunnar

[Guest MormonGator]

23 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

I know what suffering is. Holding your dead child in your arms, watching your parent disappear due to Alzheimer's,  watching my dad and fil fight cancers, one lost his battle with it.  I have dealt with this all in the last 6 years. I know what suffering is.

I can't imagine what you've gone through. You are in my prayers @LadyGunnar. 

[estradling75]

18 hours ago, LadyGunnar said:

Or I can sell this house and move somewhere that my kids will have other youth. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not have any youth your age

Yes.. I know exactly how that feels..  I was a youth that had no friends in Church and I suffered for that... I have four kids that have been the effectively sum total their youth programs and I have watched them suffer for that.

And I have moved into a new ward hoping for large youth group for my kids... Only to have circumstances (and the will of God) dictate otherwise. So yes I know exactly how that feels.

I also know that when I pondered and prayed for understanding on why the Lord saw fit to do that to me and my family he gave me an answer that gave me peace with the situation even though the situation itself and the suffering it caused did not change

 

18 hours ago, LadyGunnar said:

I think you see suffering different than I do.  

That seems clear to me... What also seems clear is God sees point of suffering differently then you do... and that is your problem.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

On 11/21/2019 at 8:09 AM, Mores said:

Now I'm finding that the other families that were affected by the boundary change were having a hard time of it because of friends and connections, etc.  Is that common?

I think, only partially joking, that ward boundary changes are somewhat like divorce....they involve a separation that you didn't want and didn't have any choice in, but still your ward "family' is divided and there's nothing you can do but try and make the best of it....and get along with your new step-family, LOL

[Guest Mores]

Boy!  This thread took a left turn.  Oh well.  When on Rome.

When we were house hunting, we were impressed to NOT buy the house we thought was perfect for us.  Instead we were impressed to buy a house we really didn't like.

As a result many thing happened as a result of being in the ward we were in.  But we would have been in that ward with the house we wanted.  Buta special thing happened to that house that I won't go into.  And I comforted myself, believing that was the reason we were impressed NOT to buy that house.

But lately, several things have happened since this new ward was established.  I see nearly everyone struggling.   Not because of relationships, but because of the size and markup of the ward.  We're practically a large branch.

Too many details.  But I've already seen the blessings come from the struggles.

The three stakes that this boundary change affected have all announced that they are anticipating tremendous growth in the area, both through move-ins and through conversions and re-activations.  We are the vanguard that are to prepare for that growth.  Our job is not to create cliques.  We are to prepare welcome parties for those who are yet to come.

[Vort]

14 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

I think, only partially joking, that ward boundary changes are somewhat like divorce....they involve a separation that you didn't want and didn't have any choice in, but still your ward "family' is divided and there's nothing you can do but try and make the best of it....and get along with your new step-family, LOL

Our recent reassignment in the local ward shuffle gave rise to exactly such feelings. Not as dramatic or traumatic as divorce, of course, but certainly genuine feelings of loss. I think that's natural, and generally speaking is not a reason to defy leadership or doggedly go wherever we want to go in spite of leadership decisions.

[Grunt]

6 hours ago, Vort said:

Our recent reassignment in the local ward shuffle gave rise to exactly such feelings. Not as dramatic or traumatic as divorce, of course, but certainly genuine feelings of loss. I think that's natural, and generally speaking is not a reason to defy leadership or doggedly go wherever we want to go in spite of leadership decisions.

I've obviously never been through a ward shuffle, but I've seen how the dynamic really changes with the addition or removal of people.  We have a tiny ward and when even one large family moves in or out it really changes the ward as a whole.  We were devastated when the family that brought me into the church moved back west.

That's an interesting story in and of itself, and shows the hand of God in our conversion.

Edited November 26, 2019 by Grunt

[Guest MormonGator]

22 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

I think, only partially joking, that ward boundary changes are somewhat like divorce

It's a great comparison. What is worse is that it's like a divorce you didn't see coming.

It's also a challenge because it's out of your hands.  When you move to someplace totally new, you are assigned a ward. You don't have the option to check it out first. It's a little confusing. 

Edited November 26, 2019 by MormonGator

[laronius]

On 11/24/2019 at 9:25 AM, LadyGunnar said:

I have suffered. My life has not been easy.  I won't get into that.

  We had 2 houses that we looked at and liked. My husband and I both got a either house will do when we prayed.  I went with this one because I liked the ward better. I can't tell you how many times I have regretted that because of this ward. Some times there are many paths that you can go down. 

I worry about my kids not having other youth in our ward. It's hard on kids to not have other youth to be around and lean on.

You need to overcome the regret you feel. You did the best with the information you had and apparently the Lord did not feel it vital for you to be in a ward with more youth otherwise he would have directed you differently. Try to find peace in the knowledge that the Lord felt your current situation was acceptable to meet your families needs and that there must be compensatory blessings in store for your kids. That doesn't mean it won't be difficult for them but the Lord is mindful of them. But in the meantime you need to keep those negative feelings at bay and not let Satan smother your peace and happiness.

[LadyGunnar]

1 hour ago, laronius said:

You need to overcome the regret you feel. You did the best with the information you had and apparently the Lord did not feel it vital for you to be in a ward with more youth otherwise he would have directed you differently. Try to find peace in the knowledge that the Lord felt your current situation was acceptable to meet your families needs and that there must be compensatory blessings in store for your kids. That doesn't mean it won't be difficult for them but the Lord is mindful of them. But in the meantime you need to keep those negative feelings at bay and not let Satan smother your peace and happiness.

I think it's just the straw that broke the camels back. We moved to be by my husband's family. I left a state and area that I loved, friends and my family. The one thing I was told by everyone was that the wards here have lots of youth and how great it would be for my kids. 

      So yeah, I feel tricked by many people. I would never have moved down here if I knew we would be stuck in an old ward with no youth. There is no one my age either. It's very lonely at church. I know the Gospel is true. I just don't like how it's set up with wards.

[estradling75]

23 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

I think it's just the straw that broke the camels back. We moved to be by my husband's family. I left a state and area that I loved, friends and my family. The one thing I was told by everyone was that the wards here have lots of youth and how great it would be for my kids. 

      So yeah, I feel tricked by many people. I would never have moved down here if I knew we would be stuck in an old ward with no youth. There is no one my age either. It's very lonely at church. I know the Gospel is true. I just don't like how it's set up with wards.

My situation mirrors yours in many ways.  My wife wanted to be with her family, so we moved from the place where I grew up to Utah.  To Zion, to the promise land... or at least that what everyone said...  Reality as it often is... is disappointing.  But I did not move my family because of the sales pitch... and I really did not move to be with my wife's family, even though that was the motivation to start looking.  I moved because this is were the Lord said,  "This is where I want you to be." and that is a comforting knowledge when faced with the warts and all of real life.

[LadyGunnar]

1 hour ago, estradling75 said:

My situation mirrors yours in many ways.  My wife wanted to be with her family, so we moved from the place where I grew up to Utah.  To Zion, to the promise land... or at least that what everyone said...  Reality as it often is... is disappointing.  But I did not move my family because of the sales pitch... and I really did not move to be with my wife's family, even though that was the motivation to start looking.  I moved because this is were the Lord said,  "This is where I want you to be." and that is a comforting knowledge when faced with the warts and all of real life.

We moved because my husband felt like we should be closer to his family. I went along because we had nothing keeping us where we were other than work.  I keep looking for home and I don't think it will ever be found here. I missed 6 weeks of church with sick kids. No one noticed. I need to get over the idea that your ward can have people who care about you in it.  I go for my kids to set an example. I get nothing from it. 

[Guest MormonGator]

14 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

I need to get over the idea that your ward can have people who care about you in it

One of the worst feelings someone can have. It's understandable why you'd look elsewhere for a sense of community.  You are in my prayers. 

[estradling75]

1 hour ago, LadyGunnar said:

We moved because my husband felt like we should be closer to his family. I went along because we had nothing keeping us where we were other than work.  I keep looking for home and I don't think it will ever be found here. I missed 6 weeks of church with sick kids. No one noticed. I need to get over the idea that your ward can have people who care about you in it.  I go for my kids to set an example. I get nothing from it. 

I have for the longest time been learning that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not about what you get.... its about what you give.  I have found repeatedly if I am focused on what I am getting I am miserable... but if I focus on what I can give I am happy.    While we all have various physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs... the responsibility for fulfilling those needs does not lay with anyone but ourselves.  Sometimes the church or other organizations can help with these needs, but they should never be the sole provider.

[LadyGunnar]

3 hours ago, MormonGator said:

One of the worst feelings someone can have. It's understandable why you'd look elsewhere for a sense of community.  You are in my prayers. 

Thanks. 

[LadyGunnar]

1 hour ago, estradling75 said:

I have for the longest time been learning that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not about what you get.... its about what you give.  I have found repeatedly if I am focused on what I am getting I am miserable... but if I focus on what I can give I am happy.    While we all have various physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs... the responsibility for fulfilling those needs does not lay with anyone but ourselves.  Sometimes the church or other organizations can help with these needs, but they should never be the sole provider.

I spend my church time with my children.  I don't need the ward members.  I miss being in a ward that had people that cared about me. I had many friends in all my past wards. I have nothing in this one.   

I know the gospel is true.  I don't need church to help with that. I didn't learn about the gospel at church. I learned about it from my dad while working with him. 

It's hard knowing that people who should be your 'ward family' dont care about you at all. I had friends drop everything and come help me at our old ward. They cared and helped my family so much when my daughter died. The ward we are in now wouldn't care.

[mirkwood]

2 hours ago, estradling75 said:

I have for the longest time been learning that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not about what you get.... its about what you give.  I have found repeatedly if I am focused on what I am getting I am miserable... but if I focus on what I can give I am happy.    While we all have various physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs... the responsibility for fulfilling those needs does not lay with anyone but ourselves.  Sometimes the church or other organizations can help with these needs, but they should never be the sole provider.

True, but a ward should also be a significant contributor.

[estradling75]

32 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

I spend my church time with my children.  I don't need the ward members.  I miss being in a ward that had people that cared about me. I had many friends in all my past wards. I have nothing in this one.   

I know the gospel is true.  I don't need church to help with that. I didn't learn about the gospel at church. I learned about it from my dad while working with him. 

It's hard knowing that people who should be your 'ward family' dont care about you at all. I had friends drop everything and come help me at our old ward. They cared and helped my family so much when my daughter died. The ward we are in now wouldn't care.

And how much do you care about them?  Have you ever dropped everything and go help someone in your new ward?