Am I the scumbag?

[LDSGator]

@NeuroTypical-you don’t need to be a psychologist to see that adult loneliness is a major problem. For those who struggle with a lack of friends, that book could change their life.

[NeuroTypical]

Oh, I know it's an absolute classic, and helped spawn an entire industry of self-help and corporate training.  I've been in a professional setting for almost 30 years now, received endless craptons of good life-enhancing advice/training/classes/homework/counseling on how to live a better life and be a better person.  I'd guess at least half is derivative stuff from that classic original.

So I asked my question.  It sounds like there are good solid ways to apply the honey/vinegar principle in the book, but it sounds like the core of the book is basically ways to channel the 2nd great commandment so people will like me.  I'm guessing by now, I know everything in the book without having ever read it.

 

[Carborendum]

5 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

I'm guessing by now, I know everything in the book without having ever read it.

If so, you're gifted beyond your years, young man.

One interesting point he made was that people rarely see themselves in an objective manner  

Edited June 26, 2024 by Carborendum

[LDSGator]

5 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

t so people will like me. 

It’ll also help you like people more. 

[LDSGator]

One of the blessings of the book is that it can show you why you are not influential or well liked, no matter how brilliant you might be.

[Just_A_Guy]

14th Article of Faith:

“We believe in meetings; we hope for meetings; we have endured many meetings and hope to be able to endure all meetings.”

As I get older, I find myself having less patience needing more charity for Church leaders who set meetings that have no discernible purpose or do not substantively accomplish the meeting’s stated objectives.  

[LDSGator]

1 minute ago, Just_A_Guy said:

14th Article of Faith:

“We believe in meetings; we hope for meetings; we have endured many meetings and hope to be able to endure all meetings.”

That’s awesome 

[NeuroTypical]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

One interesting point he made was that people rarely see themselves in an objective manner

I first encountered this notion in my college days, a quarter of a century ago.
 

1 hour ago, LDSGator said:

It’ll also help you like people more. 

Through understanding human behavior, experiencing empathy, and seeing their motivations? Again, this isn’t new to me.
 

I’m not saying that the principles expressed in that book are not timeless and invaluable. I’m not even saying that I do all of them already. I’m saying I’ve already known about them. It’s not like you can only discern these secrets by reading that book. Right?

[Carborendum]

42 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

I’m not even saying that I do all of them already. I’m saying I’ve already known about them. It’s not like you can only discern these secrets by reading that book. Right?

It's entirely your choice if you want to read a book or not.  Be it known that I'm not saying you're a schmuck if you don't.  And maybe you already know this but... 

The reason I've begun reading a lot more books about some subjects is not just because I want to learn these things intellectually.  I realize that we BECOME what our most dominant thoughts are about.  If I can spend most of my discretionary time taking in good books like this, then I have a greater chance of these good principles becoming my dominant thoughts.  And if that happens, then I will more likely internalize them.

Maybe you already have.  So, you don't need to.  But I know I need it.  So, I'm looking up all kinds of books about how to be nicer to people.  Maybe I'll actually change for the better.  One can hope.

[LDSGator]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

It’s not like you can only discern these secrets by reading that book. Right?

Oh of course. The book is a bit like learning how to operate a new tool on the job. It can’t regrow your hair, slim your thighs and make your crabgrass go away. 

What it can do is hopefully give you another perspective on how to deal with people and improve social skills. If that’s not what you are looking for, the book is useless. 

[Vort]

2 hours ago, Carborendum said:

I realize that we BECOME what our most dominant thoughts are about.

In my life, I have sometimes rationalized that thinking about certain unGodly things, e.g. revenge fantasies or dreaming of riches, has no real spiritual cost. That rationalization has proven a lie. I'm currently in the middle of a decades-long (really lifelong) effort to reign in my thoughts as well as my actions. I actually stopped watching most television largely because every comedy is smut and every non-comedy is an extended revenge fantasy.

[mordorbund]

On 6/26/2024 at 7:55 PM, LDSGator said:

What it can do is hopefully give you another perspective on how to deal with people and improve social skills.

That’s good. My particular struggle is in winning friends and influencing people. Does it help with that?