Temple Marriage lesson and divorce

[sillyme]

I am teaching the YW lesson on Temple marrige. We have 5 girls who have divorced parents who were married in the temple. One family has a dad who was excomunicated. Anyway, we've already had a couple of lessons having to do with the temple and some of the girls are worried about whether they will still be sealed to their parents. Any advice on what I can tell them?

[Iggy]

Yes they will remain sealed to their parents, unless of course they do not live rightously.

[utcowboy]

Iggy,

Will they remain sealed even if the ordiance was undone?? I thought that if the ordinance was undone on earth by those having authority, then it would be undone in heaven also.

Just asking, not wanting to start a fight :)

[BusyMom]

Encourage them to develop a relationship with their Heavenly Father. Help them to understand that by developing a relationship through prayer and scripture study that they can gain personal answers to their personal situations. Help them to understand that this relationship is built on trusting and this can be difficult, esp. as we are first trying and learning. Help them to see that once they can trust Heavenly Father to keep his promises that they can trust he will help them have the best and he will sort out all the details that are needed in the eternities. We do not have to worry about the details! We need to do our best, develop our relationship with our Heavenly Father, and serve and help others. The gospel is good news! We do not have to get bogged down in the details, Heavenly Father has a plan and he will fulfill it for our good if we let him.

[Iggy]

Iggy,

Will they remain sealed even if the ordinance was undone?? I thought that if the ordinance was undone on earth by those having authority, then it would be undone in heaven also.

Just asking, not wanting to start a fight :)

When the ordinance is undone it is undone for the mother and father only, not the children. There is no undoing the sealing of the children.

Also it is very, very rare that the sealing of parents who have children will be granted. I know of a couple who the wife was sealed to the father of her children. She divorced him (he beat her up so bad she nearly lost the last child and that is when she came to her senses and left him). Her new husband wanted so much to be sealed to her and their children.

It took 5 years of requests before she was finally unsealed from husband one and she believes the only reason it was finally granted was because he was excommunicated and in prison for killing his second wife and unborn child.

Yet, she was also told that her and husband ones children will remain sealed to her. IF husband one repents, rejoins the Church and regains the priesthood, then he can request to be sealed again to his children.

My little sister is divorced- her husband remarried to an LDS woman, but there has not been a request for a sealing clearance on either of their parts.

She worried about the sealings of their children and was assured that for any of them to remain sealed they each must live righteously to maintain that seal.

When I married my now husband I knew that he had been married and sealed in the Temple previously. That wife left the church and her marriage to him.

He requested a sealing clearance so that we could be sealed. It took nearly two years for it to be given. After we get notification that the sealing has been cleared and we now have the go ahead to get sealed, we get a call from ex-wife. She is screaming at him, why did he sic the Church on her? She has received a letter and a phone call from "Utah" demanding to know if she wants to stay sealed to him. She told husband that I left your "dang blasted rotten yada, yada, yada church" I want to NOT be Mormon, leave me alone. He told her that she apparently failed to officially and legally tell the Church that she wanted out permanently.

(never took your question as a fighting question- so no problem)

[fancy]

temple marriage is no guaranty. a close relationship with heavenly father is.

[bert10]

Well the answers that I will provide...cannot solve individual problems but can arm them with knowledge so that they have something to go to God with.

<>Well first of all....one can tell them that a marriage is only dissolved when God says it is.

<>Priesthood authority is only valid when men act with it...according to the will of God.

<> And in truth God rarely grants a Spiritual divorce. Not even adultery is a valid cause. Because iF we the bride of Christ are sometimes unfaithful in our covenant with Him and expect Him to forgive us. How can one go to God for forgiveness having not forgiven our Spouse for failing their covenant also? For the law is to forgive and where we forgive much, much is also forgiven to us. I did not say one can commit it many times.

<> That whatever shall affect another person for eternity must be done according to the will of God or is shall be considered as unrighteous. God does not recognized the authority of anyone acting not according to the will of God. So regardless what men decree on the earth. that may affect the men/women for eternity...again it must be by revelation or else it cannot stand.

A separation [putting away] is not the same as a divorce.

PEace be unto

bert10

I am teaching the YW lesson on Temple marrige. We have 5 girls who have divorced parents who were married in the temple. One family has a dad who was excomunicated. Anyway, we've already had a couple of lessons having to do with the temple and some of the girls are worried about whether they will still be sealed to their parents. Any advice on what I can tell them?

[WillowTheWhisp]

Sometimes when a child asks a complicated question it's OK for the answer to be "I don't know." and then go on to explain that although we may not know we can rely on Heavenly Father to do what is best and what is right because he does know everything and we will one day understand.

[MobyMule]

I have a question related to this. What is the letter of the ex-spouse supposed to have in it for a sealing clearance of the other partner? I know a letter is supposed to be given but what is it supposed to say?

[Traveler]

I am teaching the YW lesson on Temple marrige. We have 5 girls who have divorced parents who were married in the temple. One family has a dad who was excomunicated. Anyway, we've already had a couple of lessons having to do with the temple and some of the girls are worried about whether they will still be sealed to their parents. Any advice on what I can tell them?

Unless they prepare themselves to take upon themselves the covenants of the temple endowment - it does not matter if their parents are sealed or not, their covenant will not have effect. If they are loyal to their temple covenants they will perform a great service for their family and all that are loyal to their covenants will be sealed unto the family of G-d; which is the purpose of the covenant. There should always be concern for those that turn from their covenants with G-d but we should not think of them as lost forever and maintain the hope that they will one day remember their covenants. At which time we can welcome them home with great joy and love – unless we have turned from that home.

The Traveler

[Hemidakota]

I am teaching the YW lesson on Temple marriage. We have 5 girls who have divorced parents who were married in the temple. One family has a dad who was excommunicated. Anyway, we've already had a couple of lessons having to do with the temple and some of the girls are worried about whether they will still be sealed to their parents. Any advice on what I can tell them?

Having a temple divorce has it moments with children as seen here. They are still sealed to the parent who remains faithful and remains fully endowed. With excommunication, he will loose this privilege of family sealing. However, this can be reinstated upon repentance. It is important for those who shall inherit the Celestial Kingdom to be sealed to one another.

[Gwen]

i would suggest the best answers will be found by going to lds.org and searching "divorce" using the filter to only pull new era articles... that way the information will be focused on what the teens are thinking, going through, and feel right now... i did it and there is a lot of good stuff there, especially with the Q&A articles.....

also might be a great time for an introduction to the doctrine of the holy spirit of promise that applies to all covenants made.

i think the best thing for them to understand is how and what the parental sealing has to do with them... if they only look at the sealing as the part that belongs to their parents (which is obviously gone) then it will be discouraging... they need to understand what part pertains to them and that they will not be punished for others choices only their own.... hope that made some kind of since.

[Hemidakota]

There is over 684 articles just linked to LDS.Org:

Alone through Divorce

in Margaret H. Hoopes, Ensign, 1972, Nov.

... - Ensign Article - Alone through Divorce Skip to Content Skip to Navigation Search...“Think twice before you go with him; he’s divorced and you know ...

After Divorce

in , Ensign, 1975, June

... - Ensign Article - After Divorce Skip to Content Skip to Navigation Search...recollections, but let him talk about the divorce if he needs to. 6....

After Divorce: Clearing the Hurdles

in Mary Jane Knights, Ensign, 1985, Aug.

...- Ensign Article - After Divorce: Clearing the Hurdles Skip to Content Skip...filled her life since her divorce, pointed out that, with the right attitude, life...

Children of Divorce

in Elaine Walton, Ensign, 2002, Aug.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Children of Divorce Skip to Content Skip to Navigation Search All Church Content Gospel Library ...

After Divorce: Help for Latter-day Saint Men

in A. Dean Byrd, Ensign, 2003, Aug.

...- Ensign Article - After Divorce: Help for Latter-day Saint Men Skip...may seem awkward both for the brother who is divorced and for other members of the ward. One...

Divorce

in Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, 2007, May

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Divorce Skip to Content Skip to Navigation Search... either. 1 Nations that had no divorce law have adopted one, and ... more...

Marriage and Divorce

in David B. Haight, Ensign, 1984, May

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Marriage and Divorce Skip to Content Skip to Navigation Search All Church Content Gospel Library ...

Explaining Divorce to Children

in Geraldine P. Anderson, Ensign, 1972, Nov.

... - Ensign Article - Explaining Divorce to Children Skip to Content Skip to Navigation...met and solved all of the problems of divorce, but they have made a good...

Reaching Out to Divorced Members

in Sandra Bouley, Ensign, 1983, June

... Ensign Article - Reaching Out to Divorced Members Skip to Content Skip to Navigation...privacy of one’s home, but divorce becomes public knowledge through word...

Surviving Divorce

in , Ensign, 1978, Feb.

... - Ensign Article - Surviving Divorce Skip to Content Skip to Navigation Search... I’d rather we’d never divorced at all. That would have been best—if...

[Hemidakota]

Some helpful articles:

The Right Person, the Right Place, the Right Time: Guidelines for Wisely Choosing a Spouse (1 August 2000)

in Thomas B. Holman, BYU Speeches 2000

... by the children from these homes. Young adults from divorced families, for example, may experience more depression and ... can be confirmed a second or greater time at the altar in the temple, as noted above; in prayer by the Spirit again; in discussions ...

What I Now Believe About a BYU Education That I Wish I Had Believed When I First Came (14 January 1997)

in A. LeGrand Richards, BYU Speeches 1997

...Marriage and Family Living" course while contributing to a painful divorce or abusing family members. But an education for the Lord...). We could not build the Mount Timpanogos Temple on a foundation designed for the state capitol building. It wouldn'...

Building Bricks without Straw (7 September 1986)

n Vaughn J. Featherstone, BYU Speeches 1986

... South Area. Imagine being president where there are four temples of the Church involved (Jordan River, Manti, ... Let's say that you are in your teens or early twenties and you work ... my mother and father were divorced, and it was a rough life. I saw her ...

No Joy Without the Struggle (7 June 1987)

in Barbara Winder, BYU Speeches 1987

... as her husband wheeled her across the street from the temple to the car, as he opened the door, and as she ... is important that we recognize where help lies. A courageous divorced sister with the responsibility of raising six children wrote: Gradually I...

A Light on a Hill (27 August 1996)

in M. Russell Ballard, BYU Speeches 1996

...(p. 72). “The United States has the highest divorce rate in the world” (p. 59). “According to ... the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and ...

[Gwen]

you will be up for weeks reading if you try to get all the info available.... i suggest making the filter your friend and pray before searching that you will be lead to the article best for your situation.

[Hemidakota]

Key search keys - DIVORCE TEEN TEMPLE.

[Maureen]

From lds.org:

“What happens when a couple gets a temple divorce? What happens to the children in the next life?”

James A. Cullimore, “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, Dec. 1975, 14–15

Answer/Elder James A. Cullimore

As to the first question, “What happens when a couple gets a temple divorce?” we should understand that there is no such thing as a temple divorce. What we refer to as a temple divorce is in fact a cancellation of a temple sealing. When a couple is married in the temple, they not only satisfy the law of the land as to a legal civil marriage, but they are also sealed for time and all eternity in an eternal relationship.

A civil divorce nullifies the marriage so far as the civil law is concerned, but only by a mandate of the president of the Church can the sealing of the couple be cancelled. A cancellation of the sealing is what we are really referring to when we talk about a temple divorce.

When one has been granted a civil divorce after his temple sealing, he must be cleared by the First Presidency before he can be granted a temple recommend by his bishop. After a divorce clearance has been granted by the First Presidency, an application for a cancellation of the temple sealing might be made to the president of the Church. Normally it is the woman who seeks a cancellation of sealing. Since a woman cannot be sealed to two men at the same time, she must have a cancellation of sealing from one before she can be sealed to another.

As to the next question, “What happens to the children in the next life when there has been a cancellation of sealing of the parents?” it is understood that in the case of a cancellation of the sealing of the woman to the man, this does not cancel the sealing of the children to the parents, since they were born in the covenant, which is a birthright blessing. They remain in the status of the sealing to their parents and can never be sealed to anyone else. The decision as to with whom they will go will be determined by the Lord in the hereafter.

Regarding being born in the covenant the General Handbook of Instructions states, “Children born in the covenant cannot be sealed to anyone, but belong to their natural parents. This rule is not altered by adoption, consent of the natural parents, request of the child after becoming of age or death of the natural parents.” (P. 101.)

It should be kept in mind that to be born in the covenant is a birthright blessing, and that if a child remains worthy in this life of celestial blessings, regardless of the actions of his parents, he is assured of that birthright and is guaranteed eternal parentage. One’s worthiness in this life through living the gospel and keeping the commandments, in this as in all things, is the key to eternal life.

M.

[Moksha]

temple marriage is no guaranty. a close relationship with heavenly father is.

Is this based on the assumption that a loving God will sort everything out?

[MrNirom]

After my wife and I got divorced.. she decided she now wanted the Church back in her life so she had her Bishop write me a letter.

It said: Your ex-wife is desirous of canceling her temple sealing with you. she needs a letter from you which give any fact, circumstances, or feelings which may assist the First Presidency in it's consideration of her request. So please, I ask you to send a letter of this kind.

I did.

Joseph Smith understood these sealings of people. He would seal himself to one person and because that person was sealed to their parents.. he too became sealed to them.

So.. if you have a child in the covenant.. you are then sealed to that child.. her mother and her mother's new husband. It is a big happy family! LOL You have to quit thinking like a human.. and think like a God.

Edited November 13, 2008 by MrNirom

[Guest DeborahC]

So, suppose two people were Sealed in the Temple, and then they divorce.

Then ten years later, each remarries, and they have remained friendly (after the dust settled).

Is it possible for them to ever again get a temple recommend, since they're no longer married to each other?

[Wingnut]

So, suppose two people were Sealed in the Temple, and then they divorce.

Then ten years later, each remarries, and they have remained friendly (after the dust settled).

Is it possible for them to ever again get a temple recommend, since they're no longer married to each other?

They could still be worthy temple recommend holders the minute they are divorced, or while they're going through it. A temple recommend is not dependent upon being married.

[Hemidakota]

"Correct!" Divorcement does not preclude someone from such an event but the patience of receiving it from the First Presidency will take sometime. The church does grind along slowly.