ryanh

Sounds to me like the adversary wants to keep you from appropriate confession by casting doubt and fear through lies and deceit. Hopefully you can see from the responses here that the hearsay you have heard is truly outrageous, and not based in truth. Hopefully you can recognize that the purpose of those outrageous things is simply to keep you from finding the peace and clearance you need in order to feel the influence of the Holy Ghost again.

Uh . . . you might want to reevaluate if you are being reasonable in your dreams or not. I have heard your story a couple of times from those further down the road than you are. . . from the end of having married someone that indicated they were interested in baptism and a temple marriage. All too often, it is found that there is little or no interest in carrying through. As John Gray points out in Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus - a woman often marries a man expecting him to change - only to find that he won't. Be sure you are marrying who you want to be with, not marrying a dream of what he might become. If he never changed a bit (or never converted), would you be ok with that? But, it sounds like you might have already made up your mind to not put the things of greatest importance to your eternal welfare first. As someone not emotionally caught up in the infatuation of your relationship, but that does care for your well being, I would suggest seriously reconsidering marrying without his true and heartfelt conversion first.

Try more like 10 grams and less. And these are BIG compared to the coastal milksnake babies. I have small hatchlings from two months ago that still have not eaten. Not a big deal. I wouldn't worry about the one that absorbed all of the yolk. So, focus on the two first. When needs for security are not met, feeding urges fall by the wayside. Safety needs are higher on the heirachy - esp for the more shy species. Do they have good, snug, dark hides? Alternatively, take some time to handle them lots so they settle down, then try feeding. Still have hampsters (for scenting)? If you have only tried mice, switch it up to rats, or vice versa. And as balls rely on infrared sensing, if you are using f/t be sure to try warming above air temp at least for the first couple offerings.

Furthermore, President Young's counsel applied to the one, not to the hearer. He didn't say "tell your neighbor to cease if he/she tries to tell you of follies that do not pertain to you". I'm not sure that the counsel is entirely applicable to the moderation of a forum, or even to being a friend and confidant to those close to you. It is to the speaker, not the hearer/reader.

I don't disagree with what you have reasoned. It does at times feel that this site could raise its level of respectability in a number of ways. However, it is worth pointing out that there is a big difference between a Sacrament Meeting (esp and Fast and Testimony Meeting) and an open forum on the internet. Expecting the same standards is a little unreasonable. If this were an official Church site, I could understand. I think when people are finally at the point of being mature enough to not feel the need to seek out anonymous public advice, then they are ready. It isn't reasonable to expect human nature will elevate itself until the spiritual maturity is actually present. Until then, they will either seek their advice here, another site, or from a good friend or two. Would you rather a person too scared to go to their Bishop talk to their one close friend who says "don't worry about it", and they don't get the majority of voices saying "see your Bishop!"? Seems like a far more worrisome scenario than allowing a person to have their agency to choose the poor advice of one out of a chorus of consenting advice.

Those are actually Variable Kingsnakes (Lampropeltis mexicana thayeri). I've never had a Corn myself.

A couple of the more colorful babies that have hatched so far this year:

Doesn't matter. I'm sorry I can't recall the recent general conference talk that keeps nagging at me in relation to your dilemma. Perhaps someone else can recall where it was spoken of that we should seek counsel first from our parents. They love us more dearly, and care for us more closely, and understand the situation - better than anyone else. They may not have the same moral standards in relations to sexual activity before marriage, but I can guarantee you they have your best interest in success in partner selection in mind. They will have passed through trials of mate selection themselves, and know of other's situations. They love you, and will be a good resource for you, even if not LDS. Hey, are you going to activate your account? I couldn't send you a PM.

Why is it that there is something wrong with the guy? Why shouldn't he be running if the girl is that stiff and straight that nothing has happened? The lack of understanding of variability in individual desire has reared it's head a couple times in this thread. Those who have healthy and normal desires forget that there are both men and women that have lower desires than themselves. For some married couples, once a year, or once a month is often enough. Dysfunction does not exist in the bedroom until there is disparate levels of desire. Frequency or absolute level of drive is not what defines the problem - only the disparity between individuals when it causes friction. So, assuming that she should run from him if he isn't so horny that he's trying to get in her pants is ignorant of the reality of human variation (not to mention sexist, and based on stereotypes rather than reality). It will could be that the two of them have both found they don't have strong drives, and thus are a good match for each other. That is not wrong. Nor is it really our business.

Have you spoken with your parents about your dilemma? No one is going to be able to give you as specific and as loving advice as those that are closest to you.

Remember, your children are first The Father's children. He knows what they need more than you do, and He should be the source of your inspiration of how to deal with your son. He has more interest in your son's succes in this life than you do. Some other resources to consider include: Our Perfect Example President Henry B. Eyring When Our Children Go Astray Talking with Teens Reclaiming a Wayward Child

Eh . . . I don't pay much attention to them. I have an amelanistic and her heterozygous mate, and 2.0 pastels with 0.5 normals. Other than that, I don't pay much attention to the morphs. Actually, I'm selling all but my amel and her mate. So it is a co-dom trait then? And you got two supers and a normal? That would be nice odds (on the supers).

Well, I was at first thinking killer bees, but then, that is a co-dom trait, and why then would you end up with a normal phenotype? What simple recessive gives that morph?

Sounds like you know what is right choice. Now, you simply need to frame it correctly, and make the decision for yourself. A huge part of dating is rounding out your experiences by interacting with a wide variety of young women. Do you really need to 'break up', or simply cool it and not date steadily and exclusively? I would suggest you keep developing your friendship with her, but keep it at an appropriate level - casual, not steady - and not exclusive. Keep dating others in groups. Have you recently reviewed the guidelines in For the Strength of Youth recently?

You did by saying "I just cannot comprehend why", and by the way this is going forward without concern for the feelings for the OP. There are times to boldly tell someone to shape up. But, still, those actions ought to be done out of love, not a place of trying to prove we are right. I will stick up for my brother/sister anytime when repeated postings of a point could be having negative consequences with what appears to me to be an unawareness because of a lack of understanding and or compassion. “Maturity begins when we're content to feel we're right about something without feeling the necessity to prove someone else wrong.” Sydney J. Harris

It's called empathy and compassion. Some people have a knack for it, some don't - just like some are sensitive to rejection, and it doesn't phase others. We each have our challenges, and ought to seek to walk a mile in another's shoes before telling them how they should feel. Not everyone is at the point of being ready to grab hold of Elder Bednar's advice and make it part of their life. We are all at our own place of personal progress in this life, and no one should be made to feel inferior because they are not as far along, as strong as, or as secure as another. Can you possibly accept that a recent divorce, no stability in wards, and who knows what else leaves another person in a situation that you simply don't understand at this point? (and then drop it already? your point is well understood)

I'm bothered by the continued stone throwing. I'm not sure how that is helping the situation. Fortunately, there are a few in this thread that understand there is more than one side to any situation. And thank you SomeWife for revealing parts of the apparently unrecognized side. Revealing that allows for others to best help you in your particular circumstances, rather than simply tossing about advice based solely on our own life experiences. You cannot force change upon your husband. What you can do is focus on yourself. To that end, and in response to part of what you indicated you know you need to work on, here is a quote: Here's a question for you: Would you want to be married to yourself? If not, then focus on making yourself into that someone you would want to be married to.

Having joined the church just a little over 20 years ago, I can understand well the struggles it is to make the changes necessary and stay active. Where it is necessary to make significant life changes (be they quitting smoking, keeping the Sabbath holy, porn, etc, etc) in order to be reconciled to the new truths in one's life, many falter. The true Gospel of Jesus Christ is not a casual thing. It is life altering if we obtain a testimony of the truth that God has restored the fullness of the Gospel on the earth. An axiom that seems to be applicable to conversion, as it is to so many other activities in life is: A person gets out of something what they put into it. Another issue is that of misplaced expectations. Having received a testimony of the truthfulness of the restored Gospel, many hope/expect a zionist society. Unfortunately, while the Gospel is true, the people in it are just as fallible as you/me when we join. As Elder Maxwell was fond of saying, we are each other's clinical material upon which we practice the virtues of forgiveness and charity. One should not expect to join the church and never have interpersonal struggles with others.

Hummm. I think that most people that try to stop smoking give up their efforts and go back to the ways they are used to, and don't make that big change in their lives the first time they try. So, does that prove that smoking cessation is bad for one's health and lifestyle? A pretty foolish argument. Major life changes are not so simple. Many simply don't have the fortitude to do it. Not all ground the sower casts seeds upon is fertile ground. 20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; 21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while (see Matthew 13:1–9, 18–23)

That is a poignent comment right there. So, the question really is not whether is is "passable" or "acceptable", but do we personally want to meet simply the lowest standards, or strive for higher than that? I have this nagging feeling that Elder Oak's comments in regards to long hair symbolizing rebellion are still applicable today. I see the occasional man with long hair, but in the paradigm I have grown up with, that is outsitde of the societal norm. It feels (to me) like non-conformity. Not an attempt to look ones best, but to make a statement.

Elder Boyd K. Packer: “The mind is like a stage. Except when we are asleep, the curtain is always up. There is always some act being performed on that stage. It may be a comedy, a tragedy, interesting or dull, good or bad; but always there is some act playing on the stage of the mind. “Have you noticed that without any real intent on your part, in the middle of almost any performance, a shady little thought may creep in from the wings and attract your attention? These delinquent thoughts will try to upstage everybody. If you permit them to go on, all thoughts of any virtue will leave the stage. You will be left, because you consented to it, to the influence of unrighteous thoughts. “If you yield to them, they will enact for you on the stage of your mind anything to the limits of your toleration. They may enact a theme of bitterness, jealousy, or hatred. It may be vulgar, immoral, even depraved. When they have the stage, if you let them, they will devise the most clever persuasions to hold your attention. They can make it interesting all right, even convince you that it is innocent—for they are but thoughts. “What do you do at a time like that, when the stage of your mind is commandeered by the imps of unclean thinking, whether they be the gray ones that seem almost clean or the filthy ones which leave no room for doubt? If you can control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. If you can learn to master them, you will have a happy life. “This is what I would teach you. Choose from among the sacred music of the Church a favorite hymn, one with words that are uplifting and music that is reverent, one that makes you feel something akin to inspiration. Go over it in your mind carefully. Memorize it. Even though you [may] have had no musical training, you can think through a hymn. “Now, use this hymn as the place for your thoughts to go. Make it your emergency channel. Whenever you find these shady actors have slipped from the sidelines of your thinking onto the stage of your mind, put on this record, as it were. As the music begins and as the words form in your thoughts, the unworthy ones will slip shamefully away. It will change the whole mood on the stage of your mind. Because it is uplifting and clean, the baser thoughts will disappear. For while virtue, by choice, will not associate with filth, evil cannot tolerate the presence of light. “In due time you will find yourself, on occasion, humming the music inwardly. As you retrace your thoughts, you discover some influence from the world about you encouraged an unworthy thought to move on stage in your mind, and the music almost automatically began. “Once you learn to clear the stage of your mind of unworthy thoughts, keep it busy with learning worthwhile things. Change your environment so that you have things about you that will inspire good and uplifting thoughts. Keep busy with things that are righteous” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1976, 99–100).

Normally I would be right in line with everyone else in what I posted in response. No matter the circumstances, if it went down as described, the behavior was less than distasteful. Not appropriate in the least - even in very difficult circumstances. However, it feels apt to point out what someone once said: "you cannot slice cheese so fine that it doesn't have two sides". "what's the point of holding on when he's not willing to do the same?" The point is to have the peace of knowing you have done absolutely everything in your power to make it work. You will be hard pressed to find peace without it, and in retrospect will be priceless to you should this end in divorce.

Of course she is too young to understand that the activity is deemed by adults to be 'sexual' in nature. That is not where your statement was misguided. You said: "She's not sexually exciting herself. She's exploring her body." That is patently false. It is sexual excitement - and that is why it "feels good". It's not so simple as exploration just on the basis of "completely normal" development. As such, kenamety is right in seeking answers, and doesn't need casual dismissal of what might cause her daughter great struggles growing up. Edit: I think many are not aware that there is "normal" levels of exploration, and then there is a whole other class that goes well beyond that. It is very possible to have hyper-sexuality at a very young age. Understanding that is important in determining when there should or should not be intervention.

False. It is not uncommon for girls 5 or younger to be able to bring themselves to orgasm. That is a difficult situation because of her age, kenamety. It's hard to tell a child not to scratch an itch. It is a hard enough concept for many adults, let alone a 6 yo. Do you live in an area where LDS Social Services might be available to assist with counseling? Perhaps there are other faith-based therapists in the area that could assist with exploring the situation and coming up with possible solutions?

Tarnished, I think you should understand well that we best learn the lessons of how we get trapped by actually getting trapped - not everyone is wise enough to learn from other's mistakes. Do you think that reading your friends book many years back would have changed your path? Or would it have fed the ideas? I suggest the latter. The path to adultery starts with entertaining the thought. There is something grossly wrong with that statement. And I would suggest that acceptance of such a belief is precisely why those caught in a web of inappropriate sexuality are caught in that web. They don't realize that as a man/woman thinketh, so is he/she. Did you really see the end result when you entertained the very first thought? Or did you rationalize that you didn’t accept it as right, so it would never be possible, so you didn’t need to flush that thought out of your mind immediately?While your friend may not believe that adultery is right, I can tell you precisely where her thoughts and dreams are!!! She has already taken the first steps. Doesn't mean she will go there, but she is closer for having entertained the thoughts. Showing the consequences of a circumstance is, in my opinion, at best a very limited deterrent. We can always justify away that we are different. How is this even pertinent to Twilight anyway? Why do you even bring it up? Twilight is purely for entertainment, not base entertainment that may have some redeeming value such as you are indicating your friend’s book is. You are kidding right? You think it is best to instead of giving the reader a story of "they kissed, realized they were not in an appropriate situation, and departed company", she should lead the reader right to the edge and let them float off into their own imagination? And you see nothing wrong with that? This story line is aimed at teenage girls! Let’s just lead their minds into a dark bedroom alone with a ‘perfect’, loving, attractive, boy, and let their imagination roam free. Sad. Then go discuss it on a forum where morals and standards are more lax. For us, much more has been given, so much more is expected. Society’s standards are not what we should be looking to as our moral guide. Of course you can. You can be LDS and gossip, pass along dirty jokes, look at porn, and a whole lot worse. That you can do something is not in the least any form of justification. You can write that which leadeth away from God, but it doesn't mean you should. Everyone has their free agency to choose if they will serve God or mammon. I for one would not wish, no matter how much money and fame were possible, to be the cause of leading so many people into thoughts of unrighteousness. I am glad I am not in Stephanie's shoes.And that is all Twilight is good for in my opinion - leading young and older women into thoughts that they might not otherwise entertain. I would suggest that any women that thinks it is just fine to read Twilight and not be 'stained' by it should read: Personal Purity and Intimacy - Watson 1999 Women's Conference