Bini

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Posts posted by Bini

  1. Thanks everyone :)

     

    I'm feeling pretty good. There's definitely been some awkwardness between some family and friends that are Mormon and or Christian in general but overall we've come to accept our differences.

     

    @Anatess! I've been around, just mostly pregnant and trying to keep busy and active :) I have less than 12 weeks left and this baby is due!

  2. I officially resigned from the LDS Church earlier this year. I don't regret it, it was something I needed to do. But between then and now, I am finding myself relating more to agnostic concepts, rather than full-on atheist ones. I feel that a divine being cannot be proved nor can it be disproved. I am open to the possibility that a God or gods exist beyond this realm, but I am also open to the possibility that this life is it and nothing is beyond. Either outcome is all good, as I will continue to treat others as I wish to be treated, and I will strive to not take the small things for granted.

     

    I also wanted to thank everyone here who has always shown kindness to me, answering my questions and giving insight when asked, I appreciate it. I've learnt a lot from the discussions on here, and even as an ex-member, I can affirm that the gospel has instilled positives in my life. (Like the importance of family and continually building up your marriage.)

     

    Anyway, this is just a little update on how I'm doing for anyone that cares, haha. Like I tell people, both believers and non-believers, even though I don't subscribe to any religious belief, I still consider myself being in tuned with spirituality - peace and harmony - that good stuff :)

  3. Being familiar with Mormon culture, I would agree that the scenario would be rare, assuming there is no barring against a righteous member who identifies as a gay man becoming a bishop. I also know that by tradition, bishops are married, but just didn't see anything that stated it as mandatory.

     

    I realise, too, that a bishop is a position that needs the rapport of the people he's serving. So the idea of someone that identifies differently (LGBT) but lives righteously, is likely to still bother a lot of people, especially since overall the LDS Church is generally made up of conservative bodies. That said, I know that there are righteous Mormons who lean liberal (some on this forum :) ) that wouldn't blink if a gay man were appointed as a bishop.

     

    Still...I doubt how one identifies is a question brought up in interviews. Could be wrong but that would mean their identity would remain private and unknown.

  4. I'm not a member anymore but here and there questions pop-up in my head that I wonder about. I think this forum remains a safe place to ask those questions.

     

    What makes a bishop?

     

    Here are some things I understand to be requirements for becoming a bishop. First is to be male and second is to be an endowed member. I have heard/read the term "strong preference" for other things, like marriage, but ultimately that seems to be just that - preference. If anyone can verify otherwise, that clears my next question up. My next question is this: Is it possible for a member who identifies as a gay man, but who lives the gospel as an active member and does not engage in a same-sex relationship, to be eligible and even be appointed as a bishop?

  5. Thought this would be interesting, especially, with all the opinions that float around here...

     

    Since I'm not an expert on conspiracy theories, or the topics they cover, the sensationalism of what-really-happened seems to always reel in my curiosity. Even though I'm not an expert, there's certain conspiracy theories that while intriguing, I just don't buy - like the moon landing... Alright, so the most recent conspiracy theory that I've heard about was that 9/11 was orchestrated by the US government. Naturally, it was posted on my FB feed (which we all know is a great resource for accurate and unbiased information lol). I didn't read through the whole article but bits and pieces.

     

    So what are some conspiracies that you agree with or don't agree with? (Like I said, I'm no expert on this, especially on government conspiracies! Very clueless on that category, specifically. But I'd be interest in other types of conspiracy theories, too...maybe Big Foot?...lol)

  6. I think it's church culture, in general, not just within Mormonism but since we're talking about Utah specifically...

    We live in Utah. My husband was an electrical contractor, decent sized, his company was hired to do many of the new schools built here in SLC. He is LDS and made the mistake of offering free services to our bishop, who lived across the street from us, to redo his whole house with a bunch of upgrades and additions. Why it ended up in a mistake was that his name got passed through the ward as offering free services. He lost a lot of money on some pretty big jobs because he's a selfless man and feels obligated to charity when approached. It got real bad to a point where, as his wife, I said we can't be doing these freebies. It eventually tappered off once we relocated AND he sold his company.

    I think it's okay to say, "No."

  7. Eowyn, I was responding to the One Way To Parent comment. My feelings were also hurt when my sister began to tell me that I turned out fine with having gone through physical discipline and that I didn't know what I was talking about simply from being a parent. It went both ways. I am the only one to apologise for hurt feelings, though, and that's fine. I can live with that.

  8. We spent July 4 weekend with my side of the family. Overall, it was a nice get together, we laughed and enjoyed everyone's company. Well, on the last night, the table discussion took a wild turn. I'm not pointing fingers, I was half of the problem and my sister (who I'm closest with) was the other half of the problem. We sat across each other and the challenge was on. The entire dining room was silent as we verbally hashed out our feelings on parenting. She throws out her degree and how her experience in the system makes her an expert on raising kids. In turn, I throw out that not having kids herself, she has no idea what she's talking about. (Even prior to having my kids, I worked with kids, and I'd never claim to be an expert on parenting! Let's face it, even AS a parent, there's a lot of UGH Now What moments.) My mum shoots me this look and so do other family members, her husband remained quiet. After she picked up her plates and left, I'm reminded that she's struggling with infertility, which I know about and wasn't trying to target on but I did. Even my sincerest apology came out hollow to her.

    So we haven't spoken since that weekend. What's the next step? Just be patient and allow space for things to heal?

  9. To be clear: The fiance did not "cheat on" his fiancee, because they have no formal covenant. And he did not commit adultery; a kiss is a long way from sex.

     

    I disagree.

     

    Married in the temple, not married in the temple but are a couple, or unmarried but are an exclusive couple - if one partner engages in romantic kissing, sex, or otherwise activity that should be reserved for your significant other - is cheating, that's my opinion on it.

     

    OP should be very careful and proceed with open eyes, whatever she chooses to do.

  10. I prefer Wipeout.   ;)  Where the average guy can still win in an obstacle course. 

     

    Maybe they should have competitors that did well in ANW compete on Wipeout. That would be entertaining. 

     

    We watch Wipeout as we catch it but have seen many of them. It doesn't intrigue me like ANW, though, it's just a lot of clunky clobbering in my opinion. I think in general, if you have decent balance and timing, just about anyone can manage through the Wipeout course, even if you're unfit. With ANW that isn't the case. You get super athletic guys that take the stage, only to lose it with the upper body obstacles, they just don't have the hand grip/strength to make it across... You really have to be well trained in many various aspects of fitness to accomplish an ANW course.

  11. I've come to the conclusion that parenting is a constant mixture of trial-n-error and re-adjustment. I hated the newborn stage, it's the one stage I'm totally not looking forward with round 2, but I'm loving the toddler stage. My daughter is an only child, as of now, and is efficient at keeping herself busy - not mindlessly busy - she gets creative and you can see the wheels turning. But there's days when she needs or wants more attention then I feel able to give at that time, especially, at certain times - like prepping dinner or when I'm in the middle of cleaning, etc. 

  12. I had some more thoughts after reading MormonGator's and NT's comments.

     

     

    I think it boils down to what your expectations are and what quality of marriage you're willing to live with. Is it possible for a cheater to never engage in infidelity again? Sure but I'd caution that it's very rare, from my own personal experiences in a past marriage, and from how some of my friends' marriages have panned out. Sometimes it's easier to think that you're that small percentage that will beat the odds, and you could be, but how much are you willing to risk? Are you willing to start a family and drag children through muck when x hits the fan? Things get really ugly when infidelity has a place in marriage and it'll be poisonous to your kids, too, not just you as the wife.

     

    Saying all that, I don't believe marriage is a death sentence for a spouse that decides to marry someone who claims to have repented and swears that they will never fall into the red-flag-zone again (that being abuse, addiction, affairs). I believe that once a spouse has done one of those three, it is acceptable for the other spouse to say "enough is enough" and walk, of course, hopefully after some attempt at resolve as been made. But that's exactly what I did from my first husband - I walked after 5 years of a marriage riddled with lies and infidelity - I wasn't about to bring children into that mess!

     

    G'luck!

  13. I'm a big fan of ANW. I told my husband that it should be considered as an Olympic sport because of what it entails, focusing on not just one or two things (like specific sports do) but multiple things: strength, speed, endurance, balance, dexterity, timing, etc. Once upon a time I thought about signing up but the warp wall would be a major challenge for me, I'm sure, despite there having been 5' competitors before.

  14. To me it reads like someone may be blessed or prosper with material abundance/wealth (among other things) for being righteous but one's assets are not a direct relation to being righteous. Dunno if that makes sense, but yeh, wealth could be one of many prosperous blessings for someone living God's commandments.