CrossfitDan

It has been a sacred privilege and honor to work with those in our faith as a therapist. In the wonderful words of Elder Bednar, guiding men and women from Bad to Good and Good to Great.
I have worked with those who are single and married who are struggling with pornography and sexual issues. Even with those who have felt like there is no hope and have spent 40 years "failing". There is hope, I have seen the changes made. One of these individuals has successfully mastered their porn issues and has felt impressed to share their experience.
Please share this message. I have seen changes in those who have spent years working it through with their priesthood leaders and therapists and those who have "given up". Also, spouses of those who struggle, you to can have peace and joy in the midst of your spouses struggles. I offer in person and video conference sessions. Additionally, I will be offering women only support groups.  Email me with any questions: [email protected] 
You can also reach out to one of my clients who has chosen to write about her experience in mastering this difficult issue, here:
 
http://ldswomenstruggletoo.blogspot.com/2015/06/a-place-of-healing-not-hiding.html

I always carry that talk around with me in my notebook when I go to church. Ever since that article came out I have used it many many many times. It's excellent

Yes, I am familiar with it and a therapist. How wonderful it is you are encouraging your daughter to pursue this field. We need many more strong, faithful Christians in the field. I thought it was interesting when I entered the schooling process the advisers "warned" me I would loose my faith. I smiled and reassured them my faith is in God, not your school.
 
The field of psychology has come a long way in the last 20 years in recognizing the importance of faith. Nonetheless, the APA and experts in the field are always trying to create a niche and pander to a population. But this isn't to concerning because there is enough good science and persons of faith to provide substance to the work. This is one of the reasons I decided to go into private practice as that venue allows me to practice without the distractions of these trending concepts.

Yes, I am familiar with it and a therapist. How wonderful it is you are encouraging your daughter to pursue this field. We need many more strong, faithful Christians in the field. I thought it was interesting when I entered the schooling process the advisers "warned" me I would loose my faith. I smiled and reassured them my faith is in God, not your school.
 
The field of psychology has come a long way in the last 20 years in recognizing the importance of faith. Nonetheless, the APA and experts in the field are always trying to create a niche and pander to a population. But this isn't to concerning because there is enough good science and persons of faith to provide substance to the work. This is one of the reasons I decided to go into private practice as that venue allows me to practice without the distractions of these trending concepts.

My daughter is thinking of being a psychologist.  We are encouraging her.  However, one area of concern is the integration of religious faith and this field.  Historically, there is the perception that psychology is at odds with religion.  The issue of sexual orientation and identity has highlighted this concern--especially with APA's rejection of reparative therapies.
 
Things are not always as they seem.  APA is realizing that a psychology vs. conservative religion dichotomy was developing--and that such should not be the case.  A break through seems to have developed with APA's endorsement of the SIT (Sexual Identity Therapy) framework.  In essence, it recognizes that some clients find their religious identity to be more important than their sexual orientation, and that shunting their sexuality to the side, to live celibately, or even eventually, to live in a mixed-orientation marriage, can be ethical and beneficial. 
 
Is anyone familiar with the SIT framework?  One of the best known psychologists using it is Dr. Warren Throckmorton (Grove City College). 
 
http://sitframework.com/sitf-for-the-public/

I'm going to post this as a sticky and hope that those who struggle with this subject will watch this and it will have some impact. Thanks to a member of this site for sending me the link to this. It is an excellent video.

It's really cool to see so many members that are connected on this site. I just wanted to introduce myself and see if I can't relate to some people here. 
 
Short bio: I am a grad student at Utah State University getting my Masters degree in Human Resources. I really enjoy finding ways to empower people and help people to live more effective, productive, and happier lives. I have found that much of my happiness in life comes from living the principles taught in the church. 
 
I enjoy reading leadership books and every time I do I realize that the church applies many of the principles taught in these books. I created a site to try and capture these thoughts, but I just begun and would like to see if there are any other members in the world that would be interested in stuff like this.
 
Please befriend me and let me know what you think about my site: thepowerofldsliving.wordpress.com
 
Cheers,
-Tyson

Haha! that never gets old... I guess if youre going to belong to a cult it best be the right one.

My wife and I have been eating "Paleo" style for over four years, its actually closer to "Primal" . We have tracked our progress and wonderful successes the entire time. I personally have lost over 60 lbs being on a Paleo type diet (I hate the word diet, its a way of life for us.) I contribute most of my weight loss to eating Paleo, as I was very active and working out prior to my change in diet.
 
A brief summary of my experience is here at our blog.
 
My wife has brilliantly and very successfully, cut our budget cost and introduced to our five kids a completely new way of eating. She has documented those successes, failure and her recipes on our same blog. 
 
For those who say its not sustainable, not good for weightless, and not good for strength gains, its not following the WOW and not healthy. Well, its just not true. Its important to understand ever persons body is different and not one solution fits all. However, to suggest eating a Paleo/Primal way is not good is just unfounded. As for the WOW, anyone who suggests it doesn't comply with the WOW either, 1. doesn't understand Paleo/Primal, 2. Doesn't understand the doctrines/principles of the WOW, 3. doesn't understand either. In fact I would defend that Paleo/Primal is more compliant with the WOW then any other "diet" or our traditional view of eating in the church.
 
The important thing however, is to learn your body, master it, understand how it responds to certain foods. Its a constant fine tuning. As I am much stronger now and more healthy then ever, must eat differently depending on the season, if I am competing etc.

Well... certainly wasn't expecting this turn in the conversation.

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

I have a question for the men.  If a very beautiful woman is dressed modestly, does your mind still "go there"?  It doesn't necessarily matter what she is wearing?  I know some women who are very well endowed, etc., and it doesn't matter what she wears, her physical attributes are still visible. Do men's minds still "go there"?  And, I'm not even sure what "go there" means. I know with my husband, it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. I could be dressed in some dowdy outfit, and he is still attracted to me.

The highlighted part is what causes issues, that quote is part of a speech given by Elder Callister who quoted Dallin H Oaks. while I agree with the church standards of dress these are the kind of statements that individuals grab onto and cause problems.
 
I think that the OP makes a valid point when a lesson is taught putting the responsibility on women to help control men's thoughts. This is unacceptable and clearly not church doctrine.
 
Some food for thought I happen to know the yoga pants are not allowed at BYUI even for working out. I fail to see how a girl wearing yoga pants in a gym is inappropriate.  

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

My daughter came home from her singles ward combine Sunday School meeting this last Sunday and was very discouraged with the topic of the lesson.

The bishops wife gave the lesson, she along with many of the men in the class emphasized how it is the responsibility of the women to dress modestly to prevent men from having inappropriate thoughts and actions.

This is not the first time I have heard this concept taught. This is neither doctrine or appropriate. In fact it communicates a very unhealthy message and ignores our personal agency and responsibility over our own thoughts and actions.

Have you heard this message taught and how how you responded?
 
I really enjoyed this article it communicated, in my opinion, the correct concept.

"If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because you want them to value their intrinsic self over their outer self? Fabulous. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to create healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Great. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly to glorify the Creator of all things? Boo-ya. If you want your daughter (and hopefully son) to dress modestly because it is a long standing tradition of your church/synagogue/people/culture/or group? Awesome possum.

But don’t you dare say it is to protect my son. Because I am teaching my son that he is responsible for each of his thoughts and actions. I am teaching my son that he needs to treat females and males respectfully, no matter what they wear. I am teaching my son that the media uses sex to sell things and that he’s strong enough to not be manipulated by a woman’s body. I’m teaching my son to use his mind over his groin and I’m teaching him that women are more than just their body parts."

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/modesty-police-hurting-son-jvinc/

I strongly dislike that teaching, because it objectifies women. "Your body is a sexual object, you must hide it so as not to insight sexual feelings in others!" seems to be the jist of the message.
 
It's also a moving target. An outfit that doesn't "cause lust" in one man, may "cause lust" in another man. How in the world is a woman supposed to avoid all the various possibilities?
 
And, of course, it also debases men. It teaches them that he can't be in control of his urges, which is a lie. Men are much more than their sexual urges, just as women are much more than their bodies.

I feel like this concept is degrading to both men and women.
Its degrading to women because its like saying that a victim of rape is at fault for the rape because she dressed provocatively. Sure, it probably didn't help things, and it may have made her a target, but she certainly isn't at fault. Likewise, women who don't dress modestly may make themselves the target for inappropriate thoughts, but it certainly doesn't automatically make them responsible or at fault for those thoughts.
Its degrading to men because it teaches them that they have no control over or responsibility for their own thoughts. That is as laughable as it is false. The only one who can control your thoughts is you, meaning that the only one responsible for the things you think is you.

I don't think the Paleo-diet can possibly be construed as against the Word of Wisdom. I find that argument odd. I'm not personally a fan, but for those who like it and it works for them, I can't see it being actually bad for you. What I do see is some of the ideas therein being unnecessarily extreme. I'm all for extreme if extreme is necessary. Needless extremism is...well...needless. That being said, for some the Paleo diet works both for their physical well being and their psyche. So -- go for it.

I can't say that I'm any expert in Paleo. I have a friend, witch is more of the expert, that went Paleo to solve several health problems he was having. He had me read a book called The Paleo Solution and made a few comments and suggestions. After that I was on my own. This is some of the things I found.
 
First some of the Science
 
For me the easier things I have found to swallow(pardon the pun) was getting plenty of sleep and eating only when hungry.  Most people don't see sleep as a part of a diet. The Paleo Solution makes it clear that the hormone levels are a big part of our health. Getting plenty of sleep and eating right helps to regulate that. Parts of the Paleo also encouraged having close relationships with family and friends.
 
Most of the Paleo community don't seem to believe that "Being Paleo" means that they eat a lot of meat. It does cut the grains and legumes but it doesn't replace them with meat. In most places it seems to recommend a calorie content of 20-30% fruits and vegetables(carbs), about 20-30% protein, and the rest come from natural and healthy fats. A lot of people are scared of fats because they believe fat makes you fat witch makes sense but if you eat too much of any food it will make you fat. The big thing about fats and Paleo is that there are fats that our body can't make but needs to consume. A lot of these fats are best found in healthy meat and some go toward making things like the nervous system and parts of the brain.
 
In Paleo grains and legumes don't work with the body. First theory is that as grain goes into the intestine it seems to cut the intestine wall allowing undigested food, toxins, and bacteria into the blood stream. Second is that the protein chain in grains and legumes look similar to proteins in the body but shorter. If antibodies try to attack the grain or legume proteins they could inadvertently attack different proteins in the body as well. I have herd though that sourdough bread if prepared correctly can change this.
 
Now the Word of Wisdom
 
This is what it's all about the important stuff doing the right thing and following the commandants. Spiritual health is just as important to physical health as anything and following the word of wisdom is part of it. When Paleo was first given to me my friend gave me his prospective of the word of wisdom and had me read it again. This is what I found.
 
There is no question that fruits and vegetables are good. That part of it seems to be clear. I wold just like to point something out that is found in the foot notes of this part. (D&C 89:11). There is a foot note for prudence that refers to temperance in the topical guide. In the next verse sparingly has a foot note that refers to temperance in the topical guide. This got me to look up the definition of sparingly and its history. I found reference to frugality as in uses with the mind of conservation.
 
The meat is somewhat more difficult. (D&C 89:12-13). There is a comma that may be misplaced. If the comma is taken out it seems to reads differently, it has no fragment, and its a complete sentence.
 
Now the grain is more difficult but if you read it it seems to be straight forward. (D&C 89:14-15) The semicolon in thees verses is showing that you are meant to read the verses together. Grain can be used to maintain life, "to be the staff of life", and best "only in times of famine".

I've tried the Paleo diet and I can say that it's one of the few diet plans that actually worked for me.
Definitely helped in getting rid of the hunger pangs. After a week on the Paleo diet, I wasn't craving for sugary treats anymore. Although it did mess up my cholesterol levels a bit.
:)

I'd simply call it friendly advice  :)