my two cents

Then again we were talking about what is taught in the For Strength of Youth.  It teaches not to have sex before marriage and to remain faithful to your spouse after marriage.  Nothing has changed for adults.  We are still taught (even as adults) that we are not to have sex before marriage and we need to remain faithful to our spouse.  Again, nothing has changed for adults.  It's not a childhood standard.  It's a standard for adults as well.  Adults should not be sexually active unless it is with someone that they are legally married to.  

I think one of the things I have a hard time with is why shouldn't adults follow the same counsel or guidelines as set out in For the Strength of Youth?"  Why do those standards no longer apply just because they are adults?  To me it doesn't change.
Children and teenagers learn a lot by example.  How do we teach our children to follow those guidelines they are taught in their youth if we aren't following them as well.    How many times have I heard parents tell their children when asked why they can do something that they can't.  "Because I'm an adult that's why."  So really what are we telling them?  Just follow the guidelines when you are in your youth but they don't apply as adults.  
It's interesting that the many years my daughter went to girl's camp they were not allowed to wear bikinis while there.  The suits had to be one piece or at the very least tankinis that covered their stomachs.  That was years ago but the same standards are still applying to the girls going to camp today.  
We are taught to watch entertainment such as movies and tv shows that are uplifting and to stay away from those that take away the Spirit.  Now if someone wants to use the R-rating to help them stay on that track then by all means use it.  Unfortunately, even today PG-13 movies are now what R-rated movies were a few years ago.  
I seriously don't see what the big deal is if people want to use the counsel they may have learned at some point in their lives to better their lives.  If it works for them and helps them to live better and brings them closer to Christ, then do it.  Whether one might think it's doctrinal or not.  
I think we get into the problem of trying to justify our bad choices.  
If I personally want to follow what others perceive to be a cultural problem who am I hurting?  The only ones being hurt are those that are judging me and thinking I need to come out of the dark ages or contributing to the perceived problem.  
 
 

Not all truth is doctrine.  I believe the Pythagorean theorem is a true mathematical principle, and yet I read nothing of it in the scriptures.  Your post makes it sound as if something has to be doctrine in order to be truth, or the correct way to live.  That, to me, is hogwash.
I am 100% confident that as we grow closer to the Lord we will abstain from these types of things regardless of their status as doctrine, or requirements, because they are true principles.  There is so much filth even in rated PG-13 movies these days, there are so many abuses of caffeine, and even a one piece bathing suit would be considered immodest if the person were not swimming.  Context applies, spirit of the law applies, etc.  I drink caffeine from time to time, but I also can and have gone without it.  You said you don't drink it for health reasons, that lone statement disproves your entire argument.  If something is bad for your health than a perfect being (which is what we are commanded to become) would not drink it.  How many people do you know who drink caffeine even though it is bad for that person's individual health.  Regardless of culture, perfection is developed by degrees.  The problem is not these cultural ideas but is more about judgement of others as you hinted:
Incorrect doctrine has nothing to do with shameful judgments.  Chances are more likely that the principles are true, regardless of doctrinal status.  However, we can pass shameful judgement when something is true, or when it is false.  This is why you see vegan and vegetarian activists who shame meat eaters and 'command that people should abstain from meats'.  People ought to be kind to one another, especially when sharing their opinions.  That is all there is to it.  No one should look at someone funny when they are drinking caffeine, no one should be mean to the girl who wore a two piece bathing suit, and no one should be mean to the person who watched the R rated movie.  However, people absolutely have the right to voice their opinion, and if they wish to do so, should find ways to do it in as polite and kind a manner as possible.
". . . whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."  If the prophet said something, we are supposed to listen.  If a young man is instructed to not watch a rated R movie, at what age does it all of a sudden become okay?  He is taught correct principles when he is young so that he will follow it all the days of his life.

I'm all for not judging individuals.  
But let's not pretend God is copacetic about people who deliberately expose themselves to graphic and gratuitous violence/sex/other immorality; and let's not pretend He doesn't notice when people are using sex appeal to draw attention to themselves.  Let's not pretend temple attendance is irrelevant.  And let's not pretend that a generalized effort to take care of our bodies, above and beyond avoiding certain verboten substances, isn't part of the intent of the Word of Wisdom.

Yes. I have also done a phd. You are right.  And much much worse.
Most phd programs exist to provide publishing assistance for professors. Some would say slaves
Is there a job at the end of this phd? If not, my advice would be don't do this. Study your subject as a hobby instead.
if you think that there is a job at the end, then make sure that your choice of subject matter will get you a job. I say this as someone who knows many who made the wrong decision.
university professors won the lottery. They got a job. Many with PhDs just get by economically or are in poverty or are lab slaves. 
unless you are independently wealthy, you could be about to really mess up your economic future. 
many if not most phd experiences are horrible. 
 

SO MANY ACTS OF SERVICE, AND ONLY A TEENY, tiny PERCENT!
LEARNING TO APPRECIATE THE ACTS OF KINDNESS AROUND US HELPS US TO SHOW KINDNESS TOWARD OTHERS. AS WE STRIVE TO BE LIKE JESUS, WE MUST BE KIND AND SERVE ONE ANOTHER!!
Showing others acts of service can not only help someone else, but it is the best form of self help!! It shows you that YOU can make a difference, and NO act of service is small.
"Love one another as Jesus loves you. Try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought, For these are the things Jesus taught… Im trying to love my neighbor; I'm learning to serve my friends…"
I thought that this song that every primary student is taught, perfectly states why we need to do acts of service. As we try to be like Jesus, we follow His example. Jesus was kind to EVERYONE, and always but others before himself. He died for us!! We must show that love toward everyone that He showed for us.
Thank you all for sharing your stories! They are all so beautiful, and I see the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus reflected in every single one of them. Thanks again!

Welcome to the forum! Have you heard of the website 'kids in mind'? If not, you may want to check it out. There's also vidangel that people recommend since it filters stuff. I've heard of some families that don't allow tv on Sundays and others that are ok with byu channel and/or church movies and musicals (the music man, fiddler on the roof, oklahoma, etc). 

Just fyi - Members of EQ presidencies is handled by the stake.
I'm sorry that happened, Sunday. 

Some business took me this last week to Kansas City and the wife and I took a few extra days to rent a car and visit Church historical sites.  Most of the sites, I have been to many times, with the exception of Haun’s Mill that in the past has been inaccessible.   The current dirt road to Haun’s Mill is not a great improvement and our rental car was covered in mud – Should have taken a picture for you all.
We stopped by Liberty Jail.  I was a little disappointing because we were kind of pushed through – I would like to have spent more time meditating but there were others waiting.   I was again reminded about the poor conditions of the basement jail – no heat, no water, no toilet and very poor veneration.   The incarceration of Joseph, Hyrum and others was itself criminal.  But I felt that I needed to look beyond that moment or place in time.  That a cleansing of the saints (not just the leadership) was taking place and the remaining saints were being prepared to leave the United States of America and all civilization and eventually journey to the barren west to survive.
I am impressed that as we look back at history we need to tighten our grip on the symbolic rod of iron – that there are more trials for us to face.  That D&C 121 and 122 are types and shadows of things to come.  It is interesting to me that this was a time of disagreement among the saints.  A critical time of much criticism – not just from our enemies but ourselves as well and many left the fellowship of the saints to join the critics.  But even among the remaining there was discord.   Following the saints being forced out of Jackson County – Joseph asked the Saints to gather at Far West.  The little community at Haun’s Mill did not act with haste and within a week the massacre took place.  I had not realized how little time they had.
Have we learned our lesson yet?  What will we face next?  What is the next trial for the families of Zion?  Are we seeing the turmoils of affliction gathering?
 
The Traveler   

I went clothes shopping to donate to under-privileged school kids and was appalled at what was on the racks in the girls section. Left thinking that sewing might be a much needed hobby these days. :/

My best tip - If you stay within the same color family (hues, tints, tones or shades), everything will go together so you need fewer clothes but actually have more outfit options. This way, when you do find something modest, you'll actually build a wardrobe and not just fill a closet. Other than that, when you see someone wearing something doable, ask them where they got it or pay attention to how people make adjustments (adding layers, etc).
This is an online store but you can go to the 4 different tabs at the top and just look at the outfits (and they're modest). There's a variety of styles to get inspiration from but they might also have things that might interest you. https://shop.liveyourtruth.com/
 

Congratulations @Kimberley93.I hope you are nourished and nurtured by all those in your ward or branch. Expect some trials and difficulties, but also expect help, support and strength. I hope you can accept the trials and the help and that you continue to move forward with hope and happiness.

I went clothes shopping to donate to under-privileged school kids and was appalled at what was on the racks in the girls section. Left thinking that sewing might be a much needed hobby these days. :/

<3 <3 <3
Yay! Welcome to the Church! So thrilled for you!

My best tip - If you stay within the same color family (hues, tints, tones or shades), everything will go together so you need fewer clothes but actually have more outfit options. This way, when you do find something modest, you'll actually build a wardrobe and not just fill a closet. Other than that, when you see someone wearing something doable, ask them where they got it or pay attention to how people make adjustments (adding layers, etc).
This is an online store but you can go to the 4 different tabs at the top and just look at the outfits (and they're modest). There's a variety of styles to get inspiration from but they might also have things that might interest you. https://shop.liveyourtruth.com/
 

My best tip - If you stay within the same color family (hues, tints, tones or shades), everything will go together so you need fewer clothes but actually have more outfit options. This way, when you do find something modest, you'll actually build a wardrobe and not just fill a closet. Other than that, when you see someone wearing something doable, ask them where they got it or pay attention to how people make adjustments (adding layers, etc).
This is an online store but you can go to the 4 different tabs at the top and just look at the outfits (and they're modest). There's a variety of styles to get inspiration from but they might also have things that might interest you. https://shop.liveyourtruth.com/
 

<3 <3 <3
Yay! Welcome to the Church! So thrilled for you!

I have a big announcement to make.. I got officially baptized yesterday on Saturday. It was a really beautiful and purifying moment. I have already met many great people. 

Dropping by to see what's new and saw I've been tagged. A regular act of service I have noticed is from my front door neighbors. They spend some of the Sundays at a local park where many other gather to set up food, donations and kindnesses for the homeless folks in the area who don't have anywhere to go and don't know where their next hot meal is coming from. Well, on those Sundays, they get a hot meal. I've helped out by collecting boxes of winter clothes and donating them so they can have extra clothes to wear and stay warm. I've met a lot of folks on the streets and had conversations with them and have helped them on their way, too. They are beautiful people just like the anybody else. They've just run of of luck and resources. 

Reminds me of this story related by Boyd K. Packer about a time when a missionary made sexual advances toward his companion:
I agree with the counsel in this section as it pertains protecting ones self from the unwanted sexual advances of another.  Especially when those unwanted interactions occur repeatedly.  If Captain Moroni and other righteous military leaders of old were able to lead men in battle and kill thousands in a righteous capacity in order to preserve their freedoms, family's, land, religion, etc, I see no difference in protecting ones temple by an appropriate level of physical force.

There's a whole Society of it.  You can find them during the "3rd hour" at church, in a room all their own.  Look for the one filled with a bunch of adult women.

Wow! That's a long time and I applaud you for your dedication! Given the number of years, I really don't think anyone would fault you for speaking up. I will caution you though, that it could be worse. If you truly are willing to serve anywhere else, then do something about this but if there are some callings you would really have a hard time with, then maybe talk to the Primary Presidency about changing things up (ie Sunbeams is a whole different ball game than the 10 year olds).  You could also just start taking a break from time to time and get a sub so you can attend other classes or a different ward. Just something to consider.  Oh, and welcome to the forum!

Just fyi - Members of EQ presidencies is handled by the stake.
I'm sorry that happened, Sunday. 

Haven't read through the replies, but...
My opinion is that what constitutes "dating" and "a date" in secular society has changed for all of the age groups. To most people the term "dating" means "dating exclusively" or "going steady." (A term no one uses, but everyone understands.) If you look at Elder Oaks epic counsel on dating vs. hanging out, you'll see it came in the midst of a recession, when hanging out at home to watch movies or play games was much cheaper than going out, blurring the lines between dates and gatherings for many. This lack of dating happening in our social circles therefore gave more emotional weight to each date. It's simple supply and demand economics. 
I think the feminist movements have also played a role in the changes in our dating culture, both inside and outside of the church. Nowadays, there are women who have been successful in education and careers who frankly intimidate some men. Some intentionally, some not. There are also women who don't mind asking a man out, and some may enjoy it as they feel it gives them an upper hand in the relationship (not healthy reasoning, by the way). Me personally? If he's not man enough to ask me out, he's not man enough to marry me. (Side note: a guy I was crushing on chuckled to himself when he overheard me say this lightheartedly to a sealer while we were all on break during our shift at the temple.) Edit: if I like a guy, I have no qualms about initiating a second date.
Online dating has also changed the structure of romantic relationships. I like the idea, and even have a friend who married someone she found online, but how does it work? How do you decide to be exclusive?

Snow removal expert in my Mom's ward.