jewels8

or you can look up your nearest temple online, find their phone number, call it, and ask for the prayer roll.  uusally there is an option for that, and you just select it, then you follow the instructions to say the name or names you want on it.  It is pretty easy.  When your done, you hang up.
 

I agree with much of this.  There is no cause or reason to consider polygamy today.  One should not strive or seek after it.  Our commandment today is to be monogamous.  We are to be a union of one husband and one wife.  Seeking or striving after more than this while you are married to a spouse in this life is not in accordance with what we believe.  Some may be married after a spouse dies, but seeking the death of your spouse so you can do so or hoping for such is, in my opinion, VERY unchristlike and not much in accordance with what the Lord expects or wishes.
I think that you bring up some very important points that should e focused on. 
In this manner, I am going to selectively post parts of what I consider an important document in our time (and maybe some day it will be canonized, or be part of the standard works).
This is taken from the Proclamation to the Family.  In it, they use the singular rather than the plural.  When one is thinking of plural marriage and such, it probably is far more difficult to think specifically of one's wife only.
With that in mind, I find it interesting that the Proclaimation uses the SINGULAR forms of the words.  I also see how it uses the term "complete fidelity."  I find that EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
Today there is a great plague of pornography on our land and even among the members of the church.  A prophet once dreamed of a great plague that spread through all the land and the great stink that arose of it.  I do not know but I could see it (personally) being a vision and prophecy of the great and horrible affliction of pornography that currently resides in our society. 
The sin is not adultery, but I think it makes it difficult for a man or a woman to fully show their fidelity within the vows of marriage.  They are probably NOT THINKING of their spouse when viewing such material.
I bring it up only to mention that this could also apply to any man who inordinately spends time thinking about polygamy or being in a polygamous marriage.  Normally, it is not pertinent to him nor his life.  Thus, to dream or wonder about how wonderful it may be or wishing that such a practice would return is probably not focusing on what is important to us here and now.
Doing so may bring hurt feelings and even break the hearts of wives and spouses.  It is not something we should yearn for or hope for.  Today, one wife is enough and we should be happy that even ONE woman would desire to spend their lives and perhaps their eternity with us.  In likewise, as a husband's heart should be fully and only for his wife in this manner, so should a wife have her heart completely devoted to her husband. 
The Lord did not make Adam and Eve, Barbie, Claire, Diane, Fergie, Georgette, Henrietta, Jane, Korine, Laurette, Marmie, Noel, Odel, Phillis, Queenie, Roseanne, Tiffany, Umeo, Victoria, Willia, Xania, Yamie, and Zyphilia. 
He just made Adam and Eve. 
Today, we need to focus on the here and now and our commandments for us currently.  Perhaps some might marry again if death takes a spouse, but if married currently, we need to focus ONLY ON OUR SPOUSE.  No dreaming of having another spouse or someone other than the one that we are supposed to be with today.  We want complete and total faithfulness in a marriage.  That means total fidelity to our spouse who is hopefully the one we love.

Thank you so much! I do have supportive family and a couple of close friends, but it means a lot to have like-minded folks like all of you to help me out in this hard time. I knew him for many years before this, so I assumed I knew him really well. He always took his duties and the Gospel seriously, but would on and off struggle with curiosity to worldly things. I guess you don't really know a person until you live with them; and we never lived together prior to marriage. He says that I'm not entirely innocent in this because I knew what I was getting into, but in a way I didn't. I would've never signed up for this. But we've been going to counseling it he seems to be getting a bit better, and I'm becoming more patient. 
We'll see what happens. I definitely believe divorce should always be the absolute last option. 

Don't worry. I am totally against fornication and cohabitation before marriage  that is a great deceit that exists in my generation and other generations before me, that living together is the way to go. 

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this trial in your marriage.  However, it is better that it was caught earlier on than later, especially before children may enter the picture.  I am just thinking how I imagine you would not want your children raised with that kind of influence.  Having babies, daughters and sons with a dad that is focusing and "addicted' to those behaviors is damaging to his spirit  , your spirit and will be to their spirits, as well.  He might even, act out things, heaven forbid, on the venerable.  Perhaps that isn't something to be too concerned about for now, but you probably want to make sure that that doesn't become an issue for the time being, you have enough to deal with right now.
    It sounds to me that this husband of yours is not repentant.  What is it that attracted you to him?  Did you know he had these kind of tendencies before marriage?  Sometimes things are hidden before or a person doesn't realize the magnitude of a problem until later.  Sometimes people think that marriage will solve the problem.  Forgive me if you already answered those questions, I did read your post last night, but just started responding to it now.  Anyhow, bless your heart, I feel for your situation.  First of all, regardless of anything else, your worth is more precious than gold, more precious then rubies, you are  a virtuous woman, you are trying, you are loved  by your Father in Heaven, the Savior too, and I am sure many others. Do you have family nearby that are supportive?  And friends?  How about your bishop?  Will your husband talk to the marriage counselor and is there any signs that he wants to repent?  I am sorry if I came across as harsh.  It just sounds from what you have written, that he needs to have a major change of heart.  It can be hard to fathom why some men, especially once they have had the gospel, would delve into such things, especially the way you are describing.  I have had a friend  (she died of cancer recently,), but she had to divorce her husband when he started going to lets just say an unholy establishment, after other problems with pornography, etc.  They have 4 daughters.  It was an awful situation, and they were LDS.  I went to the funeral, and heard he was trying to get custody of his girls, and her family had been taking care of them.  I don't know what the outcome was, but I prayed for those girls and for him and her side of the family.  It was a situation my friend couldn't control.  She was trying to protect her daughters.   They had  a loving environment with relatives  and anyways, you could just feel so much love at that funeral and concern for the well being of her children.
 Your husband is not honoring his priesthood right now.  Was he ever honoring his priesthood.  What do you want in a man?  Did you ever have a list of what you wanted?  If your goal is an eternal marriage and family, which I believe in your heart it is, what do you think willl make that happen?  Have you prayed to ask the Lord what direction you should take?  Sometimes praying and then acting upon doing the best we can do, like seeing a bishop, going to marriage counseling, living our lives,  helps us see what truly will and will not work.  Will  he ever be willing to see a therapist?  Is it worth waiting a day, a week, a month, a year?   Could you get pregnant in that time?  What problems will that bring?  Raising a child in that household or joint custody down the line,  hopefully no abuse or neglect?  As far as I am concerned, when a man uses pornography, and this fantasizing, he is being unfaithful to you,  in the spirit of the law, at least, and it is a form of abuse,   Its emotionally abusive, at the very least, and probably has other reprucussions, as well.  Is this the spirit of a Christ -centered home?  Please don't get me wrong, no home is perfect, no marriage is perfect, no family is perfect.  And you are not alone in this struggle.  Unfortunately, it is a problem in society.  In our ward recently, we had a visitor come speak to us from an institution that works with teens who struggle with this problem. The church has programs to help adults and teens overcome this addictive  behavior.  There are also programs for overcoming other problems, perhaps seeing an LDS based mental health professional is a goal, that can be prayed for. Sometimes praying for things opens the way up.  I once had a problem, our car window was broken.  My husband wouldn't get it fixed for 3 months, even though we had access to resources, even a good deal.  I prayed about it more after trying to keep telling him we needed to fix it.  Finally, he gave in.  But if it doesn't work, or if you can't deal with it that long, and no one will think any less of you for it, you may want to ask yourself:     What would be the worst possible thing if there was a separation?   Sometimes it may give you space to think, feel the spirit, not have to worry about putting up with those things that make it so hard.  Your worth is not dependent on something so superficial.  You have so much potential, so much goodness, you have talents, and abilities and there are resources out there for you.  There are other valiant women who have gotten through some tough things that they never thought they would,  amazing women.  Perhaps the Lord will lead you to the help you need at this time in your life if you ask for it.  Sometimes life gives us things we didn't anticipate,  but remember, the Lord doesn't want you to be trapped, he can help you try to resolve things, help your husband if he wants to be helped, but your integrity of your soul is important regardless of his decisions, ok?  Just remember that.  I will be praying for you and for him.  

The Lord has cautioned men that they will be judged by their thoughts, idle words, and I imagine idle things they write, their deeds, and would be glad if the rocks could hide them from the presence of God at the last day, if they are guilty of certain sins.  Of the nature of those sins and what is in a man's heart, that is between him and the Lord.  I beleive that the Lord should find it offensive when men speak lightly of the benefits of polygamy, in a way that is not sacred, and in which is not conducive to the spirit of the Lord.  Today, in the Church, and in The Book of Mormon (which we should all be studying daily), it professes monogamy as the Lord's standard for marriage, and surely if there were more righteous men , there would not be so much of a need for possible polygamy.  Ofcourse no one, men or women are perfect, we all are trying, but I see this as an issue that bears a need for obvious sensitivity, which some have shown, and that is to be appreciated.  
     Jacob told the husbands of the covenant, who knew better, that they were breaking the hearts of their wives and children because of there selfish desires, and behaviors.  They were stupid, willing to embark on a path of destruction of their eternal family, disregarding the feelings of those they covenanted to protect and  cherish all for some superficial fling that means nothing.  How dumb, how tragic!    Willing to give up any chance for eternal peace and glory for something that would only brand them as a coward, a bastard and a fool.  Why would a priesthood holder sink so low and pay such a high price?   Ofcourse no one is that silly today.  (who are we kidding?)
    Lets turn the coin around:  What are the disadvantages of polygamy?   Men can't concentrate on substance, they only see the surface.  Men are visual by nature anyway, now the problem is compounded even more.  We already live in a society where men are taught to treat us women as objects, and even in the church its obvious some men still have a hard time with that, just look at one of the flippant comments that was made on this thread,   will men , even "some so called "priesthood holders" ever get beyond focusing on a women's looks and capabilities to be a baby machine, a cook , a laundress, and see her really as a human being, an equal, a person, a daughter of God, and not even that, but just a friend.  Someone to treat with respect.    When given multiple wives, supposedly by the Lord, how quick is the man to lose sight of the whole reason for polygamy in the first place.  A man that thinks this way, surely shouldn''t be practicing polygamy anyway, nor would the Lord grant it to him.    A quote in church history says that a man may refuse to take the 2nd wife in eternity and be justified before the Lord.  Monogamy is something the Lord does allow.  Perhaps it is a test for men , as well as for women.  Some men may say, "well, polygamy is a commandment, so my wife just needs to go along with it,"  but in looking deeper in church history, I have seen otherwise and I have seen that really it is up to us and our attitudes sometimes as to what we cause.  I mean a man  may inflict something on his wife that she doesn't necessarily have to go through.  In the Bible God told a prophet he would destroy a city, and the prophet asked him   to not if so many people could be found righteous in it.  And he plead with God, and kept changing the number, and God worked with him.  So maybe God wants to see where a man's heart is.  A woman would definitely be glad to see if her husband wouldn't be so quick to just embrace polygamy.  I mean, ofcourse we should follow commandments, but that doesn't mean we can't ask about do we really have to do this if our spouse has a hard time with it, etc.  And I don't think that makes us a bad person or unfaithful necessarily.  Sometimes , we may have to change to succumb to His will, but sometimes He may let us choose and it would be right for us.  Polygamy in church history, though condoned by the Lord did cause many trials.  Of course it was hard to live the law.  Some accounts show that men, went behind there wife's back in marrying another,  due to The Law of Sarah or obeying God's Law or for whatever reason.  However, this made it hard to have a trustworthy relationship in a marriage.  And did these women ever get STD's without even knowing what was going on?  It raises some hard questions.  These could even be passed on to babies being born and babies dying and comprimise the health of the women.  Also, it was hard emotionally on the women and the children and the husbands.  Providing for all their needs  financially and time wise was a burden.  The more wives and children you have, the more laundry, the more mouths to feed, the more quarrels, the more illnesses, the less of you to go around.  Studies have shown that children from polygamous families have been at  a disadvantage , they are generally (and it doesn't matter  FLDS, LDS or otherwise), less educated, lower income -don't have their needs met as much, emotionally not as stable, then children from monogamous families.  Also wives from polygamous marriages fair worse statistically, the same reasons apply.   And statistically, women in monogamous marriages have more babies each, then women in polygamous marriages and enjoy a stable, closer , more loving relationship with their spouse, because they don't have to share him.  And she  knows he is 3 being faithful  to her.   There is a stronger bond of trust and mutual love and respect.  I'm sorry, but I would have a harder time respecting a man that was not being faithful to just me.  Marriage should be between one man and one woman.
   Now, let's turn the coin and see what benefit there could be from polyandry, I mean , not that I need another husband, but I sure could use some things fixed around the house!    1.   things could get fixed in a reasonable amount of time, and get fixed  2.  have more interesting men to talk to, a variety of male adult companionship, not be just bored with just one   3.  a greater appreciation for the uniqueness and gifts and talents  given to the family   4.  greater protection  5. more priesthood power  6..  more date nights!  7.  I might even get flowers finally!   8.   have an intelligent conversation  9.  have more friends  10.   expand my horizons  11.  better providers  
12..  be able to serve others more  13.  take vacations  14.  choose to work or stay home  15.  have many attractive and interesting husbands, but that's not what its about   16.  increase the adventure in my life  17.  have more kids and give them more enriching experiences 
 
Ok, well, I prefer monogamy.  I don't think that  anybody should be dreaming of polygamy or polyandry.  I know I'm not.  I think the Lord's standard today is pretty clear.  A modern prophet has said to choose your love and love your choice.  The seminary or institute of religion manual has cautioned that polygamy should not be taken out of context and not alluded to as what will be practiced in eternity.  We really don't know.  We have been taught that monogamous marriages are sufficient to enter exaltation.  And our hearts need to be pure and right before God.  Joseph Smith would not allow his brother to practice polygamy because he was too eager, his heart was not right.  Joseph Smith hesitated for years to practice it.  Brigham Young at first desired the grave rather then practice it.  Please be sensitive what posts are made regarding this subject and what you choose to say about it all the days of your life, and thank you to those who do.
      
    

Thank-you.
So my hands are largely tied when it comes to posting sources outside of the ones i did.  If anyone wants to message me for recommended reading material about experiences inside the mainstream membership, feel free to.  
But how anyone could read most accounts and say it didn't hurt, damage, and destroy just about everyone it touched is difficult for me to comprehend.  That is, however, just my opinion.  

I believe this is an oversimplification - Dark spirits did not just pack up and leave whenever Jesus showed up - they had to be commanded - and this includes Satan himself.  
 
The Traveler

Have mercy on her

I feel like a mother, Honey, I am so sorry you are going through all of this!  Marriage is full of surprises that non of us anticipates.  Somehow, someway, this experience you have been through and are in will make you a better, stronger, and more knowledgeable person down the road.  But right now, I want you to be assured that you are a beautiful, worthy, wonderful , daughter of God.  And that you have so much to offer and that you deserve a companion who will love you for who you truly are, be true to you, enjoy your company, be willing to build a life and eternity with you.  We can not always foresee what is coming.  You have been trying for a better part of a year to make it work.  Yo can see what you have done, what he has done.  You know, unfortunately of the cost of the pain.  And you have probably listed  the pros and the cons of  marriage to him versus divorce, and the freedom that may open up for you.  I admonish you to , if you haven't already, to fast and pray about it, seek your bishop if you feel the need, and maybe a counselor to support you, and or a friend .  But do what you need to regain your self-esteem.  You deserve joy.  This man just may not be ready for a committment like marriage.  You are.  And that's ok.  You can feel peace.  The Savior taught that divorce is ok.  He gave divorce because sometimes men break women's hearts.  And sometimes they just aren't as ready for giving in a relationship, if they are selfish and immature.   And this is real..  There may be some progress, but is it enough?  Is the cost of what is going on inside you to high?  What price is it worth?  There are other men, who are out there.  And if you don't have kids, its easier to get out, although, don't let that stop yp fromdoing what is best for you.  Follow the Spirit.  There are many who will support your decision, on both sides of the veil,  a
nd I wish the best for you and this man.

I feel like a mother, Honey, I am so sorry you are going through all of this!  Marriage is full of surprises that non of us anticipates.  Somehow, someway, this experience you have been through and are in will make you a better, stronger, and more knowledgeable person down the road.  But right now, I want you to be assured that you are a beautiful, worthy, wonderful , daughter of God.  And that you have so much to offer and that you deserve a companion who will love you for who you truly are, be true to you, enjoy your company, be willing to build a life and eternity with you.  We can not always foresee what is coming.  You have been trying for a better part of a year to make it work.  Yo can see what you have done, what he has done.  You know, unfortunately of the cost of the pain.  And you have probably listed  the pros and the cons of  marriage to him versus divorce, and the freedom that may open up for you.  I admonish you to , if you haven't already, to fast and pray about it, seek your bishop if you feel the need, and maybe a counselor to support you, and or a friend .  But do what you need to regain your self-esteem.  You deserve joy.  This man just may not be ready for a committment like marriage.  You are.  And that's ok.  You can feel peace.  The Savior taught that divorce is ok.  He gave divorce because sometimes men break women's hearts.  And sometimes they just aren't as ready for giving in a relationship, if they are selfish and immature.   And this is real..  There may be some progress, but is it enough?  Is the cost of what is going on inside you to high?  What price is it worth?  There are other men, who are out there.  And if you don't have kids, its easier to get out, although, don't let that stop yp fromdoing what is best for you.  Follow the Spirit.  There are many who will support your decision, on both sides of the veil,  a
nd I wish the best for you and this man.

Hi, Jewels8!
Don't be discouraged. Who is perfect all the time? You'll fall and those close to you will fall, but what matters is that you lean on Christ and get back up again. People can have different definitions of what kindness is, just as they have different definitions of what honesty is or what the human person is. It doesn't mean those who have a wrong definition are right, it just means they have an additional stumbling block in their spiritual life they have to conquer. Part of the difficulty may be individuals having trouble fully understanding and interpreting people and their moods, reacting wrongly so that others take offense when no offense was meant. No one but God fully knows and understands a person; if I were to look for such an intimate connection in other people, I would always come up disappointed.
There is the case of the matter of sin and the intention. If someone knows they're being uncharitable, cruel, hateful, impatient, etc., then, yes, it would probably be a sin. But it's possible people make mistakes, such as an unintentional tone, or don't realize that being cold to someone out of anger is really, truly wrong, so they may not be culpable (or as culpable).
It is frustrating when people, especially people you know who claim to be good, fall in these common offenses against love. It's good to remember that we all fall into these traps, and as soon as I'm annoyed at a stranger snapping at me, I find myself giving someone who annoys me a short remark. Be patient with others and be patient with yourself. Secondly, know that no suffering you endure at the hands of an evil, no matter how small, is wasted. Continue to use it as an opportunity to exercise love, patience, and mercy, being the example of the kindness the offender should imitate. To bear wrongs patiently and forgive offenses willingly are spiritual works of mercy. If you weren't given opportunities to practice virtues, how would you ever learn them? It's often these smaller, everyday temptations that are most difficult to deal with.
Always be merciful and loving toward others, especially sinners, even if they take advantage of you. (Christ in St. Faustina's Diary, 1446)
I was your teacher, I am and will be; strive to make your heart like unto My humble and gentle Heart. Never claim your rights. Bear with great calm and patience everything that befalls you. Do not defend yourself when you are put to shame, though innocent. Let others triumph. Do not stop being good when you notice your goodness is being abused. I myself will speak up for you when it is necessary. Be grateful for the smallest of My graces, because your gratitude compels Me to grant you new graces. (Christ in St. Faustina's Diary, 1701)
 
Respectfully to the people involved in this example, the husband seems to have been more than insensitive to her feelings. Every person needs a confidant, whether they're a man or woman. When in pain, when troubled, when confused, it is natural for a human being to wish to find support in another, as well as advice and comfort. To dismiss a person in distress is not charitable, and to counsel the doubtful and to comfort the afflicted are spiritual works of mercy. I can't speak to the piece about her opinions, though perhaps he was uncharitable in his rejection of them. The part of this example that is bothering you, I think, is that these actions seem to hint at selfishness and a lack of gentleness. 
 
That sounds like it could be pride, in thinking they know best, and selfishness, possibly greed, in that they can benefit from your participation in something that may harm you or your family (such as what conmen do). It's a lack of respect of you as a person. In the case of your father-in-law, he was probably just excited about what he thought was a great opportunity, and fell into fault that way. If people pressure you to do things you don't want to do, don't let it concern you. It's not kind of them to bother you, but there's not much to be done about it, except make your stance clear to them and stand your ground. Sometimes people may not realize how much of a risk something poses for you and your family. Regardless, It's more important to protect your family's security than to worry about what others want you to do.
 
If you know for certain a child is being harmed, it would be a sin of inaction to leave it be. But if you don't, there's only so much you can do. I agree with you; assuming seems like it can cause more damage than good. If you suspect something might be wrong, I'd look into resources and ask professional advice to better know how to discern (if things seem somewhat ambiguous). Calling the police is a huge step, and should only be used if there's pretty clear evidence. It's not a case, I think, where forgiveness per se comes in to play, but more the principle of innocent until proven guilty. We can't just suspect some has stolen something; we need proof they did, or our society would eventually fall under a micro-managing, military rule, thoroughly vetting everything just in case. There's also the matter of the extra damage a visit like that could cause, as you mentioned. It's upsetting for the parents, upsetting for the children, and damaging to the family's reputation, since people will see the police and assume things, even if it turns out there was nothing wrong. 
 
I hope this helped, Jewels8! God bless.
 

I am wondering how best to put this, and I apologize for my lack of being perfect.But how do you deal with insensitivity in yourhh  relationships with otheres, be it friends, neigbors, school, work,  church, marriage and family life?  Or just in life in general?  (it doesn't even have to be zeroed in on one thing, if your more comfortable with that)  I mean we are taught to be selfless, to be long-suffering, patient, kind, benevolent, compassionate, Christ-like, etc.  And I know I try hard to be all those things, and I know my family tries and I know others try, but it is challenging, and the same mistakes come up over and over again.  And sometimes it is discouraging.Sometimes different people have different definitions of what kindness is.  And some of them can be not what I would consider kindness..  It can be really hard when you feel that you are  dealing with chronic  insensitivity, and the other person can't see it as that.  And then when you give it back to them, not meaning to, it just isn't a good thing.  And you pray, fast, do things that the Church teaches, but the same habits keep returning.  How do you deal with people in life that keep doing that?  Isn't insensitivity considered a sin in some respects, if the person knows better?  Not every one sees things the same, but the Lord gave the same set of commandments basically to everyone.

Here are some quotes that may help.  Wilford Woodruff made these quotes:
" President Young said there would be men saved in the Celestial Kingdom of God with one wife..."  There was also an explanation given about a quote Pres. Young had given about polygamy in heaven, he had been speaking to a group of men who had been commanded to be polygamous.  That was the context of the quote.  His words may have been different if he had been speaking to a group who had not been commanded to be polygamous, as we are taught in our day to be monogamous, which we have been taught is the Lord's standard.  The Book of Mormon taught monogamy.
  " Pres. Young said a Man may Embrace the Law of Celestial Marriage in his heart and not take the Second wife and be justified before the Lord"
  And the Seminary Manual states:  
"We have no knowledge that plural marriage will be a requirement for exaltation"
I hope that helps
 

The downside is women are forced to make a choice, live in heaven with God and Jesus and accept the fact that you might have to live polygamy for eternity - or don't be with God at all.  I hardly think God would force women to accept polygamy via blackmail, and thats what that is, spiritual blackmail.  No thanks

Having my husband married to another woman for all eternity bothers me.  If the garden of eden was the ideal way to live, there was no polygamy, god made Adam and Eve, not Adam, Eve and Shirley.  I don't understand why LDS women would accept this,  I certainly never will.
And if the church really took polygamy from the earth because God said so rather than political reasons, then surely that revelation would make it is gone from heaven too, otherwise whats the point

Well, I can get blossom's difficulties.  I've known people in this situation, seen their struggles and no small amount of anguish with which they needed to deal.
The "downside" is, if you marry someone who was previously sealed and spend 50 of the best years of your life with them, when you die, one of two things will happen.
- If you're a guy, you're no longer sealed to her, because she's someone else's eternal wife, and you only had a marriage for time only.
- If you're a girl, you now 'share' him with his first wife.
Now, I believe, like Carb does, that in the eternities this will not be a problem, because by definition, if we are exalted, we will have left all our mortal imperfections and sins and jealousies and immaturities behind us.  It will literally be ok, we will literally will be fine with how things are.
That said, here in our mortal bodies, on good old imperfect earth, such realities can be really hard to understand, accept, and bear.  Maybe even so hard that we end up making different marriage or faith choices.  Our limited human perspectives, as temporary and flawed as they are, are what we've got to work with here on Earth.  Spending 50 years with your soul mate, faced with the prospect that she's really someone else's soul mate?  Or faced with the prospect that you aren't his only soulmate?  This can be a chunk to chew on.
 

I've just been reading a thread about a lady who is getting sealed to her husband but he is still sealed to his ex wife.  He has applied for a cancellation but they are not sure if he will get it.  But they can still get sealed in the temple if he doesn't get the cancellation.  So men can be sealed to more than one woman for eternity.  So polygamy in the celestial kingdom is ok
Here's my problem - this poor woman (and others in her situation or similar situations) could very well be faced with living polygamy for eternity, I mean she does need a temple marriage to get to the celestial kingdom.  So you're kind left with the choice of, live eternal polygamy or don't get sealed to your husband and accept lower degree of glory.
This doesn't sit well with me at all, polygamy is gone from the earth, but it seems to still have a place in heaven, if I had to live polygamy in heaven I wouldn't even want to go to heaven.
Is this just something left over from polygamy the church hasn't fixed yet?  Is there discussion with the church to get this changed?
How do women deal with this? I'd be heart broken

Goodness!  I feel for you!  Sounds like you really have been given an unjust turn.  It reminds me of a situation many years ago my husband and I encountered regarding something entirely different, but the same kind of idea.  It had to do with "raising children"   Suffice it to say, someone was making a "mountain out of a molehile", so to speak, and we had to deal with it, even though we shouldn't have had to , at least not the the extent the other person was trying to make it out to be, but we found, that even though we knew we weren't in the wrong, and even though it took considerable more time and patience on our part then we really wanted to give, we had to be willing to show that patient, humble side of ourselves.  Even if you know what to do, sometimes you have to act or become more humble or like you don't know anything, I guess, but anyways, I feel for you.  Maybe if the lady texts again, just ignore the texts, so there isn't any misunderstandings, you probably don't even need to be told that.  And of course, you would rather be at church, and if you could instead of work, and still provide , you willl.  Maybe pray about finding some peace through this, even though the situation at home with your bishop/uncle is strained.  Totally unfair for him to do that, but sooner or later, if not already, the still small voice has let him know or will let him know that what he did was wrong.  Trying to be kind or stay out of his way, if your hurt, may help for now.  Pray for strength to get through this trial.  Pray that the Stake Pres will understand.  You can help the Stake Pres understand the situation.  Just try , of course, to not share anything that may come across as petty.  Let him know that you honor bishops, in general, the priesthood, that you have a testimony.  That you have a desire to be at church.  You may want to share any ideas or times you do go to church or sacrifice to be at church, vs when you had to work those 3 weeks.  You can share your concern that you hadn't expected , if this is the case, this woman to text you, and you were just being polite to answer, that you have no intention of answering anymore of her texts and that you are sorry it brought concern to her spouse and that your afraid her spouse may have thought it was more than it was and you meant nothing by it.  You can share that , if there are any examples how you have been fair to sustain your bishop, how you have, but that he is your uncle and share those concerns you have and that your afraid that may have led to him taking your recommend away , even though , you could tell him, under normal circumstances, he probably woudn't do that.  You might want to , in order to show you are really fair, say, you may not know his real reason, but you do live with him, and just see that he may have a , I don't know if bias is the right word, but it may be harder for him to be fair with then with someone else, but that you think probably with others, it wouldn't be a problem , if they came in for a similiar situation.  Tell him, your not trying to undermine his inspiration or counsel of the Lord, but that you just feel you are innocent, if this is the case, and can't see the need for the removal of your recommend.  That you are supposed to be getting married and you may want to tell him how you have been keeping yourself worthy of this blessing, even long before these things happened.  Just go in prayerfully and fasting, if you don't have a medical condition or reason that prevents you from doing so, and you are likely to get a much fairer reception.  He may need to look into the matter, but at least you will be showing him that you truly are worthy and he can see that the bishop, not you, is in error.  Then you keep praying, until he resolves it, and either right then or as soon as possible, your reccommend will be restored and you and your sweetheart will be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.  

Goodness!  I feel for you!  Sounds like you really have been given an unjust turn.  It reminds me of a situation many years ago my husband and I encountered regarding something entirely different, but the same kind of idea.  It had to do with "raising children"   Suffice it to say, someone was making a "mountain out of a molehile", so to speak, and we had to deal with it, even though we shouldn't have had to , at least not the the extent the other person was trying to make it out to be, but we found, that even though we knew we weren't in the wrong, and even though it took considerable more time and patience on our part then we really wanted to give, we had to be willing to show that patient, humble side of ourselves.  Even if you know what to do, sometimes you have to act or become more humble or like you don't know anything, I guess, but anyways, I feel for you.  Maybe if the lady texts again, just ignore the texts, so there isn't any misunderstandings, you probably don't even need to be told that.  And of course, you would rather be at church, and if you could instead of work, and still provide , you willl.  Maybe pray about finding some peace through this, even though the situation at home with your bishop/uncle is strained.  Totally unfair for him to do that, but sooner or later, if not already, the still small voice has let him know or will let him know that what he did was wrong.  Trying to be kind or stay out of his way, if your hurt, may help for now.  Pray for strength to get through this trial.  Pray that the Stake Pres will understand.  You can help the Stake Pres understand the situation.  Just try , of course, to not share anything that may come across as petty.  Let him know that you honor bishops, in general, the priesthood, that you have a testimony.  That you have a desire to be at church.  You may want to share any ideas or times you do go to church or sacrifice to be at church, vs when you had to work those 3 weeks.  You can share your concern that you hadn't expected , if this is the case, this woman to text you, and you were just being polite to answer, that you have no intention of answering anymore of her texts and that you are sorry it brought concern to her spouse and that your afraid her spouse may have thought it was more than it was and you meant nothing by it.  You can share that , if there are any examples how you have been fair to sustain your bishop, how you have, but that he is your uncle and share those concerns you have and that your afraid that may have led to him taking your recommend away , even though , you could tell him, under normal circumstances, he probably woudn't do that.  You might want to , in order to show you are really fair, say, you may not know his real reason, but you do live with him, and just see that he may have a , I don't know if bias is the right word, but it may be harder for him to be fair with then with someone else, but that you think probably with others, it wouldn't be a problem , if they came in for a similiar situation.  Tell him, your not trying to undermine his inspiration or counsel of the Lord, but that you just feel you are innocent, if this is the case, and can't see the need for the removal of your recommend.  That you are supposed to be getting married and you may want to tell him how you have been keeping yourself worthy of this blessing, even long before these things happened.  Just go in prayerfully and fasting, if you don't have a medical condition or reason that prevents you from doing so, and you are likely to get a much fairer reception.  He may need to look into the matter, but at least you will be showing him that you truly are worthy and he can see that the bishop, not you, is in error.  Then you keep praying, until he resolves it, and either right then or as soon as possible, your reccommend will be restored and you and your sweetheart will be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.  

Goodness!  I feel for you!  Sounds like you really have been given an unjust turn.  It reminds me of a situation many years ago my husband and I encountered regarding something entirely different, but the same kind of idea.  It had to do with "raising children"   Suffice it to say, someone was making a "mountain out of a molehile", so to speak, and we had to deal with it, even though we shouldn't have had to , at least not the the extent the other person was trying to make it out to be, but we found, that even though we knew we weren't in the wrong, and even though it took considerable more time and patience on our part then we really wanted to give, we had to be willing to show that patient, humble side of ourselves.  Even if you know what to do, sometimes you have to act or become more humble or like you don't know anything, I guess, but anyways, I feel for you.  Maybe if the lady texts again, just ignore the texts, so there isn't any misunderstandings, you probably don't even need to be told that.  And of course, you would rather be at church, and if you could instead of work, and still provide , you willl.  Maybe pray about finding some peace through this, even though the situation at home with your bishop/uncle is strained.  Totally unfair for him to do that, but sooner or later, if not already, the still small voice has let him know or will let him know that what he did was wrong.  Trying to be kind or stay out of his way, if your hurt, may help for now.  Pray for strength to get through this trial.  Pray that the Stake Pres will understand.  You can help the Stake Pres understand the situation.  Just try , of course, to not share anything that may come across as petty.  Let him know that you honor bishops, in general, the priesthood, that you have a testimony.  That you have a desire to be at church.  You may want to share any ideas or times you do go to church or sacrifice to be at church, vs when you had to work those 3 weeks.  You can share your concern that you hadn't expected , if this is the case, this woman to text you, and you were just being polite to answer, that you have no intention of answering anymore of her texts and that you are sorry it brought concern to her spouse and that your afraid her spouse may have thought it was more than it was and you meant nothing by it.  You can share that , if there are any examples how you have been fair to sustain your bishop, how you have, but that he is your uncle and share those concerns you have and that your afraid that may have led to him taking your recommend away , even though , you could tell him, under normal circumstances, he probably woudn't do that.  You might want to , in order to show you are really fair, say, you may not know his real reason, but you do live with him, and just see that he may have a , I don't know if bias is the right word, but it may be harder for him to be fair with then with someone else, but that you think probably with others, it wouldn't be a problem , if they came in for a similiar situation.  Tell him, your not trying to undermine his inspiration or counsel of the Lord, but that you just feel you are innocent, if this is the case, and can't see the need for the removal of your recommend.  That you are supposed to be getting married and you may want to tell him how you have been keeping yourself worthy of this blessing, even long before these things happened.  Just go in prayerfully and fasting, if you don't have a medical condition or reason that prevents you from doing so, and you are likely to get a much fairer reception.  He may need to look into the matter, but at least you will be showing him that you truly are worthy and he can see that the bishop, not you, is in error.  Then you keep praying, until he resolves it, and either right then or as soon as possible, your reccommend will be restored and you and your sweetheart will be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.  

I think that the new changes that are made in the Church are inspired.  I know that Pres. Nelson is the Lord's mouthpiece, His prophet on the earth today.  I think the concept of ministering helps to give a more personalized way to serve each other and I think it does, I know for me, remind me of the responsibility I have to seek revelation in how to serve those that I have been given stewardship over.  Not that I don't already do those things, but it helps me to realize the importance of magnifying even more what I should do to help in the lives of those that the Lord wants me to serve and follow those promptings more, even if I do have a busy life and special family circumstances, at times.  It is i nteresting too, to see the change in the priesthood quorums, with the high priests and elder's quorum's coming in together, even though there will still be a high priest quorum, at a stake level, as I understand it.  I am not mentioning everything I know about it in this post, but just putting down some things about these changes and that I know they are inspired to better serve others and that that the Lord has a purpose for this at this time.

I don't know why.

@jewels8 Hi there! I know just how you feel. I have twice been released from callings just as I got things organized. I had a stake calling  and then was in the RS presidency. I suspect that God needed someone else to grow more than you! I suspect if you talk to the bishopric and the stake presidency, next time you renew your recommend or before if you see them, they may give you something. I teach in Relief Society. I volunteered to be a substitute and they gave me the actual teaching job. Is there anything that people don’t like to do? Here it is being a substitute teacher. Offering to do the job that no one else wants sometimes works.
Are you near a temple? That is a calling that rocks! You learn a lot!
i doubt very much that there is an unofficial, eg nonactivity restricted file on us.
Hugs!

Once again, there is a DIFFERENCE between going to a BAR and going to a restaurant that has alcohol.  One is primarily associated with alcohol and that is their intent, to sell alcohol.  A restaurant is normally there to sell food, not alcohol.
Not all strip clubs have the food section with the strip club itself from what I understand.  They have a restaurant section and another section at times, but I still don't buy the excuse given to me by some that they go just because the food is so great. 
There is NOTHING inherently evil about coffee, but for Mormons who are supposed to be living the Word of Wisdom, there IS an inherent aspect of sinning...aka...evil in that sense.  It is the Starbucks Coffee Company...not Starbucks Donuts, not Starbucks groceries, not even Starbucks - we sell muffins...company.  It is Starbucks Coffee. 
As Mormons, even as a minimum, we do not drink coffee, tea, or alcohol.  You may go to Starbucks and NOT drink coffee, you may also only buy muffins, but you ARE still going to a coffee company that's main association is coffee.
Just like the disturbed fellows who tried to excuse their going to the strip clubs...they may have gone to the gentleman's club, they may have only gone to eat food and not to the actual other portions of it, but they DID go to a strip club which has it's main association as something NOT approved by the LDS church.