Grunt

I open with “I’m warning you now, I talk a lot, I sometimes have bad language, and my wife says I’m not as funny as I think I am”

This is so true. That’s why I always prefer to deal with things in person. Recent example: over the past week I’ve received several emails from a senior officer I’ve never met, copying many others, that were really condescending and incorrect, blasting me. Everyone, including my boss, said he’s a jerk. Yesterday I printed them all out and went to find his office. He received me coldly, and I told him he was incorrect, I didn’t appreciate his tone, and instead of correcting him publicly I chose to come introduce myself. I handed him his stack of emails and my supporting documents. After a 30 minute discussion I knew his life story, received an apology, was told he was shocked I didn’t sit in my office complaining about what a jerk he was like everyone else, and he actioned favorably every single item I’d been trying to accomplish for the last week. We shook hands and parted on good terms. It’s much harder to bluster when faced with a confident, respectful, and human face looking you in the eye.

You guys would hate me on open mic night, then.

You are. I guess we just view it differently. I can certainly see why you would like them.

I never missed that. It always seemed so "staged" to me. I enjoy the loud family atmosphere of the Church, the quiet reverence during Sacrament, and the differing lessons from the membership.

I have a limited use recommend.

I can't go in, I can just visit the grounds. Well, maybe I can go in and see the foyer.

Most things are memorable to me. I'm a noob.

I wouldn't know where to begin with cleaning a pen. Off to Google.

What's this cleaning you speak of?

I'm on MassDrop a lot. That blue ink was a cartridge that came with the pen. Nothing I bought.

It's a Monte Verde Cube. I had no question. That must have been left in my buffer from another question I never asked.

Where do you get decent

Has anyone been? I'm heading to Phoenix in a few weeks and I'll probably go check it out while everyone is boozing it up.

I have no idea what are percentage is, but I know when I go on the LDS app there are WAY more people than there are in church.

I made that up.

That's the pen I bought all my friends.

Hitler was a distant uncle of Kevin Bacon.

I've only been to Temple once and came from work. I was in fatigues. I'm going to be excommunicated.

I’m the security nut in my family.

I don’t. Nobody has mentioned that I should.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I probably don't have a lot to offer beyond support. What it boils down to is just "get over it", to quote Elder Bednar. However, I know that is easier said than done. Still, every time you turn on porn, you have a choice not to. If you're like me, you'll have the urge for the rest of your life, it just lessens with time. I'm a convert as well. I grew up with porn and masturbation. It just wasn't a big deal to me. When I was preparing to convert I was like you in thinking that the Law of Chastity didn't mean masturbation. However, through prayer and study, I came to realize it did. Once I came to that realization I was done and haven't looked back. I can promise you this when you truly live the Law of Chastity your relationships with your future wife will be so much more. I can't describe it and do it justice, but God certainly knows what he's doing. That one "simple" act did more for my marriage (which I already thought was perfect) than I could imagine. There are reasons for God's laws that we don't always understand. Just trust in Him. Please don't take this the wrong way, but YOU are letting this addiction ruin your life. YOU are letting it ruin your self-esteem. Do you think God demands you be perfect? I don't. There are times when my thoughts are impure. There are times when I'm unkind to others. There MANY times when I'm not as prayerful or studious as I should be. These are all shortcomings on my part, but I don't beat myself up over them. I try harder. I ask for forgiveness. You should do the same. Why do you think you'll be judged more harshly for this sin than I will be for mine? Tackling this problem, if you do it sincerely, will strengthen your faith and help you grow spiritually. You've been fighting this for 15 years now. I wonder how much you've learned about yourself, failure, success, prayer, compassion, empathy, etc in that time? Imagine the support, just through experience, you could bring to someone going through a similar problem. Don't sell yourself short. Don't condemn yourself for your failures. You won't meet ONE single person who hasn't struggled with something as well. Guess what? When you conquer this, and you will, you'll just move on to your NEXT improvement to achieve. This is a constant state of growth for us. Don't neglect your other areas while you focus on this. Continue to improve them, welcome the successes you achieve in those other areas, and as you strengthen your faith in those things, they will help you overcome this. Good luck!

Nope Nope. Nobody wants that.

What did I get myself into? I'm not going to last long.

If you ever find out, let me know. I still haven't convinced my wife we're compatible.