WillowTheWhisp

As she is in a treatment centre for an eating disorder she may have underlying psychological problems too and the people treating her will hopefully be working towards solving those. If I was in your position I would just take it slowly and wait until she confides in you. Even though you were both brought up in exactly the same cirumstances and even thogh you are twins that doesn't mean you are going to react identically in every situation. I know it seems like a cop-out to blame problems on other people but unless a person is strong enough to understand and acknowledge that they will resent being told so. I hope she rcovers from her eating disorder and gets the rest of her life under control and that you can resume a happy family relationship.

Yes but it is only binding on those who understand it to be such.

They may have assumed you didn't want them and disposed of them.

What you just said there Mahone reminded me of the Saviour when he visited people who the Phariees would not have been seen dead with. He on the other hand entered their homes and 'supped' with them. He would not have compromised his own standards in order to do so, but he did accept that there were people who did not necessarily maintain those same standards.

Just be careful of saying that here in Englnd or you will be offered normal tea with a slice of lemon instead of sugar.

Actually hot drinks refresh you more on a hot day than cold ones do. It may sound crazy but it's true. I learned that at school umpty years ago. Something to do with the speed of temperature exchange. If you leave a drink without milk in it will cool down quicker (and get colder) than if you add milk and leave it for the same length of time. No, we don't do iced tea or coffee! lol. My mother always used to drink hot tea on a hot day and I would have ice cold lemonade! I was a contrary child.

There is no teaching as far as I am aware to prevent you from serving coffee to anyone who is not a Church member. I do it myself. I do offer them an alternative but if they decline and prefer coffee then coffee is what they get. I look at it this way, if I went to their home and they offered me coffee I would be unhappy if they didn't permit me an alternaive even if that was only a glass of water, so we should be accommodating to others if we wish them to be accommodating to us, without compromising our own standards. I alwys explain to them why I don't drink coffee when I offer them my alternatives, but ultimately the choice is theirs.

You should not have to. That is not a marriage and no matter how much you try to shield your children from it you will not succed. They need parents who are role models for them of what family life should be or they may be in danger of growing up believing that phyical and emotional abuse is an acceptable way of controlling their spouse. It isn't. If she is in the habit of using violence against you then she needs to be restrained. Certainly call the police next time it happens if it happens again. She needs to realise that what she is doing is a criminal offence. If she'd done it to anyone else she would have been arrested. If you continue to be the best you can possibly be, avoid extra marital relationships and work on your marriage and she still refuses to co-operate or to even be civil to you you may have to come to a point where you admit defeat. She may have serious mental/emotional problems that need medical help but she needs to realise that for herself. What you have described certainly does not sound like normal behaviour and it is not good for your children to grow up in that atmosphere. From your opening post it's clear that your son has already been deeply upset by his mother's irrational behaviour. That seems a litle harsh. People can only offer advice to the person seeking it. The only person any of us can ever change is ourselves so it may seem that although Semperrideo would like some magic formula to change his wife into a peaceful, loving, caring, compassionate individual all he has been offered is suggestions of how to improve himself - that is because there is no way he can change her. She has to want to change heself. The best way for her to want to do that is often for the other person to become more like the person they would want their spouse to be. It may sound crazy but it is often true that a soft answer turneth away wrath whilst a grievous answer stirreth up anger. Of course if the angry person is determined to be stirred up no matter how the other behaves then it becomes nigh on impossible to do anything about it. I know it is very difficult not to either retaliate or run away but neither is a long term solution. She needs to see the problem and want to do somethng about it too. I hope that through your attitude Semperrideo, that will begin to happen.

I too am in the UK and I understand this perfectly. There are some things which are allowed in our home and some which aren't and I quantify them by how much they affect me. If a non-member visitor calls I will offer them tea or coffee or Barleycup or Caro and explain that the latter are my personal choice alternatives to tea and coffee as a Latter-day Saint. Friends and family members already know this. In fact my Uncle after his first cup of Barleycup decided he prefered it to coffee anyway. We even offer to make cups of tea for workmen. It would be considered very impolite not to. It is refered to as "making a brew" and you get a much better job done by a workman who has been well 'watered' with brews at frequent intervals, especially if they are doing a strenuous job on a hot day. Some of them will try a "Mormon coffee" and then later decide they prefer tea. What they rink does not affect me personally so I have no problem making it for them. However if someone wanted to come into my home and smoke I would not permit that because it would contaminate the home. We had a family member who used to smoke and knowing it was not permitted in this house would make an excuse to go outside and "inspect the garden wall" He respected my wishes for no smoke in the house whilst I respected his desire for a cigarette. (He has since quit but that's another story) I have visited a country where is is impolite not to drink a very strong cup of coffee with your host when you arrive. I explained to them that I did not wish to offend them but that my own beliefs did not permit me to drink coffee. This was thought about for a while and then my host went off to the shop and came back with a can of Fanta. Whilst everyone else drank their coffee I drank my Fanta. I became known as the Fanta lady. The spirit of the shared drink of coffee was maintained but without the necessity for me to drink coffee. They compromised in much the same way I compromise by making a cup of tea for my guests. I wasn't forcing my beliefs on them and neither were they forcing their beliefs on me. This is how I believe we ought to behave.

I can understand how you feel. I tend to get very involved in things too. Hoefully all will wrk out best for everyone concerned. I'm so glad to hear that the idea of abortion isn't being taken seriously. Tht could end up haunting the poor girl for the rest of her life. "falling pregnant" is something I'm used to hearing too, we use it even when a couple have been desperately trying for a baby for years.

The sentence does seem harsh but it will bring home to any other kids who may be tempted to do anything similar that this is not a joke

Hmmm, supposing you marry a slim, althetic, cycling loving, gymnast and she becomes pregnant, loses her figure, and is unable to keep up with your excercise regime? What if several children down the line she is far too tired/busy to excercie every day? Are you being shallow? Most definitely. I once dated someone of a similar attitude. He found something physically 'wrong' with every girl he dated. He is still single. We all married happily and some of us are even grandparents now.

If every Mormon on Earth was killed, every Book of Mormon destroyed, every LDS internet site wiped, every historical reference deleted - all incredibly unlikely - but even then the Gospel would not cease to exist becaue it does not come from men. It comes from Heavenly Father. He could restore it again at any time. However, that would never be necessary because he has promised that the Gospel will never again be taken fom the Earth.

There's never any general answer to these sort of questions. The only person who will know what needs to be done will be the Bishop who speaks to him. His first step is coming back to Church and it is wonderful that he is already feeling the Spirit. The soone he comes out to Church the sooner he can start onthe road back home.

It may well be the the church court will relieve her of stress rather than add to it. Those who are placed in a position to guide and help her will be acting with the aid of the Holy Ghost to say and do only those things which will benefit both mother and child. They will guide her on the path to repentance and if that is truly what she seeks then knowing that she can be forgiven can be the lifting of a great burden from her shoulders. Satan loves to make people dwell on their guilt and feel unworthy of forgivness. Adoption is never enforced although the Church's position is that a child is always better off being brought up by two parents. However, each case is individual and will be looked at individually and she will be given advice and guidance. I know of someone who was once in a similar position and she was encouraged to keep the child. Her mother and father helped to look after the baby. Subsequently the girl met a young man whom she married and who is a perfect Daddy to the child and they now have another child themelves. They just look like the perfect family. In another situation which I know the young mother did not repent and walked away from the church. Her mother ended up bringing up the baby more or less alone and the situation went from bad to worse with the baby's mother subsequently having 2 more children but never marrying and a very unhappy situation between her and her mother. The child and mother are now both inactive. Very sad.

Does your friend actually have a testimony of the Gospel? Is she aware that what she would be doing would be denying that testimony which wa revealed to her by the Holy Ghost? Blasphemy against the Holy Ghost is dangerous ground. Hopefully a Church Disciplinary Council will be conducted in love.

You had me worried there for a minute!

Do you, or have you ever, invited Heavenly Father into your marriage? If you cannot kneel down together in prayer at this present time and ask for his help to solve your problems at least go to him in prayer on your own and ask him to help you to convince your wife to eventually join you. I will not be so presumptious as to say divorce is never acceptable as I know of 2 situations when the father and husband was a child molestor that the divorce was supported by the church,ut it hould be a last resort and not entered into lightly. Work on yourself. Make yourself the sort of spouse you would love to be married to, but don't do it alone, let Heavenly Father help you. And stop this flirting or "emotional infidelity" with your colleague immediately. Satan will give you anything you crave but it will never benefit you.

Having your name removed is just slightly not as dramatic as being excommunicated in some people's eyes. If the person ever wanted to come back they would need to be interviewed and ultimately rebaptised. If they had been to the temple then they would need to be interviewed by a General Authority to have their temple blessings restored. It's a big step and not to be undertaken lightly. In some ways it's worse than excommunication because with the latter the church will work with the person to help them back into the fellowship whereas with someone who has their name removed at their own request then the church tends to sever all future contact as it is logically assumed this is what the person wants. It may not come to excommunication. The Disciplinary council may have better ideas. I would say the person is wisest to humble themelves and allow their leaders to be guided by Heavenly Father to do what is best to help them get back on track. Having one's name removed is an act of pride showing no true regret for whatever actions led to the present situation.

Yes I agree that sounds like a brilliant idea.

There are only 4 living in our house but I seem to have never ending laundry. It seems to be mostly towels though. I don't know how 4 people can use so many towels. I think it's the kids who use about 4 each per day.

At the time of the Garden of Eden Misouri porobably wasn't even where it is now - bu that's the Gospel According to Willow. Polygamy - has been practiced throughout the ages by people of God.(look in your Bible) Howevee, God can also change instructions to his people relevant to their situation. so there may be times when polybgamy is impoant and even necesary and other times when it isn't. The Book of Mormon - well if I didn't have a testimony of it being the most accurate book of scripture I then I'd be struggling too. Are there specific topics withn it that you have a problem with?

We've had that happen in our Ward and the Bishop has come forward to help them. We are told repeatedly by General Authorities that Testimony meeting is not a time for telling our life story or for travelogues about our last holiday or for giving pep talks to the rest of the Ward and yet month after month adults get up and do exactly those things. In contrast some of the simple testimonies of children are a refreshing delight.

There are LDS bookstores but they aren't as many of them as others. The nearest one to me is 4 bus journeys away and I'm lucky because for some people it's even further. There is also a 'distribution centre' on our temple site where copies of the scriptures and a few other basic things are available. It may be similar at other temples. Some chapels do have spare copies of BoM and other things to give out to people enquiring about the church but nothing is ever sold from a chapel. Those spare books are usually provided by members who purchase them and then donate them for the sole purpose of being given out to people who would like one. I tend to buy copies of the small ones and then keep one in my handbag (purse) just in case anybody asks me how to get one and I can give it to them.

I'd just like to quickly add three small points following on from what other people have said. Firstly regarding the name of the church being different to that in Moroni's day. We are now in the latter days. The church today is a restoration of the primitive church. Moroni did not live in the latter days. Ours is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because we are the latter day saints. Latter day saints could not exist prior to the latter days so the church in Moroni's day could not have had the same title. Secondly, creation. I create a painting, or a meal or even a post on a message board. All three are created in vastly different ways and yet creation is used to describe them. The painting and the message come perhaps purely from my imagination and yet they would not exist if it were not for the canvas, the paint, the brushes; the computer, my keyboard, the internet. Both involve physical and non physical elements. I'm not sure about the meal, that's possibly mostly physical but I did have to spend time thinking and planning it firstso again it has a non-physical aspect. Thirdly, the nature of the Godhead. Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are all one God. They are all individual beings which is evident from the Biblical acount of Jesus praying to his father and then saying he would send the Holy Spirit in his place when he returned to be with his father. So how can they be one? Cetainly not in the sense that they are all the same person, but President Monson is our President. He is one person. he is referred to as President Monson. Henry B.Eyring is his first counsellor. He is referred to as President Eyring. Dieter M. Uchtdorf is his second counsellor. He is referred to as President Uchtdorf. so they are all called 'President' but they are quite clearly not all the same person, and yet they are all the same First Presidency. That is how I see the Godhead. They are all God but quite clealry not all the same individual, but because they are divine they are far more united than we mere mortals (even the Church's First Presidency) could hope to be.