I Want To Set My Ward On Fire!!!!

[BetterthanBunnies]

I think I've had it. I go to a singles ward in the Salt Lake valley, not a student ward, it mostly has older people who are into their careers and things. Well you wouldn't think it was this way with people in their mid-late twenties, but about 95% of the ward are flakes. Complete and total flakes. Tell me if anyone "gets" this.

--I make a visiting teaching appointment, and both my companion and the visiting teachee flake out--they have other things to do.

--For the past 5 months I've done visiting teaching alone and haven't even gotten to know my new comp, because she won't answer her phone or email. I can't find her apartment, because she gave the ward the wrong address.

--When it's time to clean the church building, you can always count on the SFP...the same five people. I've gotten really good at washing windows. C'mon, people, 10:00 is not that early!

--RS Enrichment only about 5-10 people come. Last Enrichment not even the RS president came.

--The Activities committee has not had their monthly activity for the past 4 months. They announce it...and then cancel it due to lack of planning. Nice.

--The Fellowshipping chair calls and reminds people, including her own committee, to bring food they signed up for for the munch and mingle, and--suprise!--they don't. They do expect to still eat the food, though. Nice, huh? The last time this happened the munch and mingle turned out to be a disaster, and the bishopbric gave the fellowshipping chair a talking-to. She hasn't come to church since. Surprise.

--The committee I helm (FHE) and my co-chair are often given extra assignments in the ward, such as passing out flyers, ward reps for the region, taking over for the Activities committee, and hurry-quick please do this to cover for the deadbeats, because we're the few people in the ward who actually follow through on stuff.

--I, and most of the other people in the ward, haven't been home-taught for over a year. I don't even recognize the names of my home teachers though I am pretty familiar with most people in the ward. Nice, huh?

All right, enough whining. That was a lot of whining. Sorry. But you get the point. My ward is DEADBEAT! I keep thinking if I have a positive attitude and just work at being the best ward leader there is, work hard and plan hard, then at least I won't get my eyeballs sucked out at the second coming. But yesterday was the last straw. I passed around a sign-up sheet for an activity a week away, asking people for their email addresses if they were willing to share an anscestor story. I emphasized that it was important everyone participated because the success of the activity depended on them, and we were really looking forward to hearing everyone's cool stories.

A total of 3 people signed up. The munch and mingle sign-up sheet (passed around by the RS pres, since the fellowshipping chair has quit the ward) was more of a success. They got 5 whole signatures. There were about 30 people in the RS room. You'd think that these same people who bore their testimony in tears every Fast Sunday had a strong enough testimony to bring a crummy bag of cookies to a stupid munch and mingle!!!!

Well that's my vent. So here's my question: I want to move out of the ward, really, really bad and go to a family ward. For most of my single-adult life I have gone to a family ward and have loved it. BUT would I be as flakey as the people in my current ward if I left because my ward was flakey? I'm not a fan of quitting, but I honestly don't know if I can take this ward anymore. I once told the bishop I was moving out and he looked like he was going to cry. I'm not sure what to do.

[FunkyTown]

You are facing one of the most difficult part of being part of the church - The people around you are not living up to the expectations you expected them to(The other being that a person is not living up to their own expectations).

Short answer: You aren't flaking out. You're going where you're most comfortable in the church.

Long answer: You should share your concerns with the bishopric. Be open and honest, though that's a frightening concept. Don't be abrasive, but have answers ready for why you feel the way you do. Be understanding as to why this is, but point out that you feel lost in this ward. Ask what you can do to improve things.

If you can't, it's okay to go.

[unixknight]

It sounds like some serious prayer is needed at the Stake level. The Stake President should be made aware of what's going on if he doesn't know already.

[utcowboy]

The only thing you can do is follow your heart, but I gotta tell ya that its really the same in the family wards, only there is usually 10 people to wash the windows. I've been active in my ward for almost 2 yrs and its the same there. Most of the people are great one on one but they don't know how to volunteer for anything, its worse than pulling teeth. Every ward or branch, stake and area have the same types of wards and members, there are those that look forward to their callings and there are those that dread their callings. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for and I wonder if you are not in this ward for a reason?!?!?

[MarginOfError]

I think Single's Wards are a waste of time. Hit up the traditional ward and make sure you're active in Institute. Just my opinion.

[FunkyTown]

I think Single's Wards are a waste of time. Hit up the traditional ward and make sure you're active in Institute. Just my opinion.

I love singles wards! I made so many good friends in singles wards.

[utcowboy]

We each have to do our parts and remember that we are not there just for us. We are there for each other, to help lift, strengthen and guide one another is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

[MorningStar]

Well, I think moving is a better option than setting your whole ward on fire. More practical too. And less illegal.

[utcowboy]

Where is that LOL button that was discussed in the other thread..... I like it Morning.... but it might not hurt to lite a fire under some of them..... and it might make her feel a whole lot better... I know it would make me feel better sometimes.... But I guess thats why the doc says I should stay on medication. :)

[Connie]

This is a classic case of wheat and tares. Remember the story of the 10 virgins. Only half of membership of the church will be ready for the Savior's return. The only thing you can do is make sure you are ready for it.

Personally, i never liked singles wards, but i know a lot of people, some family included, who got great fulfillment from singles wards. Due to your level of frustration, i would probably encourage you to move to a family ward. Making it matter of prayer would certainly not hurt. I said the same thing to a young man i know, except i was encouraging him to go to a singles ward as his situation was the opposite.

[MorningStar]

I say trick them into cleaning and stuff. Tell them there's a really fun activity at 10am and then hand them the cleaning products. BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Really, I think a lot of singles just care about themselves, their hair, their car, who they're dating, who they want to date, their jobs, school, etc. and figure they'll do that helpful church stuff later.

[MorningStar]

Also, once I wrote "redrum" on this guy's fogged up window on his car and I thought he was going to have a stroke. He went into this 10 minute rant about how the glass would be forever ruined by the natural oil from my skin. I bet he has kids now. Just an example of something some single people care about too much.

[Moksha]

The cleaning has to be done, but can any other items of that calendar, which are not well attended, be tweaked to better meet the needs of the ward members? In life, not everyone has the same desires and needs so it is sometimes necessary to improvise to better meet those desires and needs.

[bytor2112]

Kindling.....good fires always start with some good kindling.....

[Gwen]

you are always welcome in our branch. :)

[checkerboy]

I don't know if this will help but you mentioned you are in the Salt Lake Valley. There is your first problem. Don't you know that all LDS in the Salt Lake area are gauranteed Celestial status regardless of their committment level? Up here in Idaho we still know that work is needed. Come on up here. My brother is in a singles ward and he is always telling me how awesome it is.

[StrawberryFields]

I also have kids going to a singles ward in the Salt Lake Valley and they have come to know that it is undependable. I think that maybe the problem could be that there are so many of them and people seem to bop around a lot. I agree that many of these people are busy but without dedication and commitment on at least 50 people I would think it would always be a battle. Sometimes my kids will show up to the singles ward just to find out there is no one there. Later they heard something about the air conditioning being broken. I was happy to see them show up at our family ward though.

Years ago we used to have stake dances, then bi-stakes, then tri-stakes. When dealing with people from many areas like that there would always be a great turnout. Maybe single wards need a larger area to pull from and the attendance could be better, at least in areas that have many saints.

[Stacey_Jay]

I think I've had it. I go to a singles ward in the Salt Lake valley, not a student ward, it mostly has older people who are into their careers and things. Well you wouldn't think it was this way with people in their mid-late twenties, but about 95% of the ward are flakes. Complete and total flakes. Tell me if anyone "gets" this.

--I make a visiting teaching appointment, and both my companion and the visiting teachee flake out--they have other things to do.

--For the past 5 months I've done visiting teaching alone and haven't even gotten to know my new comp, because she won't answer her phone or email. I can't find her apartment, because she gave the ward the wrong address.

--When it's time to clean the church building, you can always count on the SFP...the same five people. I've gotten really good at washing windows. C'mon, people, 10:00 is not that early!

--RS Enrichment only about 5-10 people come. Last Enrichment not even the RS president came.

--The Activities committee has not had their monthly activity for the past 4 months. They announce it...and then cancel it due to lack of planning. Nice.

--The Fellowshipping chair calls and reminds people, including her own committee, to bring food they signed up for for the munch and mingle, and--suprise!--they don't. They do expect to still eat the food, though. Nice, huh? The last time this happened the munch and mingle turned out to be a disaster, and the bishopbric gave the fellowshipping chair a talking-to. She hasn't come to church since. Surprise.

--The committee I helm (FHE) and my co-chair are often given extra assignments in the ward, such as passing out flyers, ward reps for the region, taking over for the Activities committee, and hurry-quick please do this to cover for the deadbeats, because we're the few people in the ward who actually follow through on stuff.

--I, and most of the other people in the ward, haven't been home-taught for over a year. I don't even recognize the names of my home teachers though I am pretty familiar with most people in the ward. Nice, huh?

All right, enough whining. That was a lot of whining. Sorry. But you get the point. My ward is DEADBEAT! I keep thinking if I have a positive attitude and just work at being the best ward leader there is, work hard and plan hard, then at least I won't get my eyeballs sucked out at the second coming. But yesterday was the last straw. I passed around a sign-up sheet for an activity a week away, asking people for their email addresses if they were willing to share an anscestor story. I emphasized that it was important everyone participated because the success of the activity depended on them, and we were really looking forward to hearing everyone's cool stories.

A total of 3 people signed up. The munch and mingle sign-up sheet (passed around by the RS pres, since the fellowshipping chair has quit the ward) was more of a success. They got 5 whole signatures. There were about 30 people in the RS room. You'd think that these same people who bore their testimony in tears every Fast Sunday had a strong enough testimony to bring a crummy bag of cookies to a stupid munch and mingle!!!!

Well that's my vent. So here's my question: I want to move out of the ward, really, really bad and go to a family ward. For most of my single-adult life I have gone to a family ward and have loved it. BUT would I be as flakey as the people in my current ward if I left because my ward was flakey? I'm not a fan of quitting, but I honestly don't know if I can take this ward anymore. I once told the bishop I was moving out and he looked like he was going to cry. I'm not sure what to do.

I think you are worrying about other people too much, and it can come accross as a bit self righteous. People do not have to turn upto ward activities. People are allowed to have a life outside of church.

Plus, you say its a singles ward. Most people will be young and enjoying going to uni and having freedom for the first time. There's nothing wrong with that. Give them a break! If you want to attend everything and do what you're doing good for you. Just dont judge people by your standards. People have their own choice.

[VisionOfLehi]

I don't know if this will help but you mentioned you are in the Salt Lake Valley. There is your first problem. Don't you know that all LDS in the Salt Lake area are gauranteed Celestial status regardless of their committment level? Up here in Idaho we still know that work is needed. Come on up here. My brother is in a singles ward and he is always telling me how awesome it is.

I lol'd

[raulrosalez22]

unfortunately I have never attended a singles ward. I doubt there is one near where I live. but I go through the same situations. I was the Secretary for the Elders Quorum, Representative for the YSA, and Ward Mission Leader at the same time. I would organize activities where less than half the members would show up for each organization. What I did to increase the participation at activities was to merge all activities into one. I would announce an activity to the YSA as if it was a YSA activity. the same activity I would announce it to the EQ and SS as a ward activity, and again I would announce it to the leaders of each organization as a Missionary activity. and it gave good results since then.

now I am just the WML and when I organize a missionary activity I am down again to less than half the members showing up. =(

the last activity was to get some potential investigators involved with more YSA members so that they could see a small glimpse of our believes. and I asked the YSA Rep with 2 months ahead of time to make sure everybody went and took a friend to the activity. and to make it more interesting I made it at the Beach (since that has always worked, everybody loves the beach). I went to the beach to where we were going to meet. I took 3 of my friends and waited for a while. I called to the Rep who never answered me. so I took it alone from there. Even though the purpose of the activity was a failure my friends and I bonded a little more. we had fun and we are planning on going again.

Once I returned to the city I was still depressed because nothing went the way I planned it. so I headed to the chapel to play some piano, since that is what I do to cheer me up. I called the Bishop after a few hours of playing the piano, to tell him how it went. but I didnt have his phone number so I called a few members(the parents of some of the YSA) to ask for the Bishop's number. nobody had it lol but it was funny that some of them asked me if I hadn't gone to the activity. I was confused since I knew I went to the activity. after I told them I had no idea they were talking about one of the parents told me that the YSA had organized an activity to welcome a recently RM, and supposedly they planned a week before. I was furious that the YSA would do something like that. not only to plan one when I already planned something. but to ignore me, I was the only YSA member to be unaware of the such called party. Even though I am not the YSA REp. the members from the Stake keep calling me because the new rep doesnt attend the meetings. and I kind of organized some activities. but every since then I haven set aside. and it really got me upset with the whole YSA. I have now steped aside from the YSA from my ward. I do go to institute but I go on my own. I will keep going to stake activities, but will remain from going to ward activities.

lets say I also wanted to set the YSA on fire lol =P

but I decided to let that feeling go away =)

I dont want to hold a grudge against them, but it is kind of hard if you dont have the support you dont ask them for. I kind of feel like when Moroni requested reinforcements for him and for Heleman but did not receive any from the city of Zarahemla. they did have an excuse though, the Judge was thrown out of his position and wicked people didnt support the effort. But I cant go back and take the position again =( The Lord has trusted the new Rep with his duties and I will just step aside.

[Moksha]

Don't you know that all LDS in the Salt Lake area are gauranteed Celestial status regardless of their committment level?

I thought the highest status goes to those from the Utah Valley area.

[checkerboy]

I thought the highest status goes to those from the Utah Valley area.

True they are granted the 70 virgins.

[Hemidakota]

i Don't Know If This Will Help But You Mentioned You Are In The Salt Lake Valley. There Is Your First Problem. Don't You Know That All Lds In The Salt Lake Area Are Gauranteed Celestial Status Regardless Of Their Committment Level? Up Here In Idaho We Still Know That Work Is Needed. Come On Up Here. My Brother Is In A Singles Ward And He Is Always Telling Me How Awesome It Is.

Lol....

[BetterthanBunnies]

Thanks everyone, for the advice. I think it may take some prayer and consideration before I decide what to do. After all, my ward may be deadbeats, but they are nice deadbeats. I won't set fire to them yet. Maybe a leeetle fire.

Don't you know that all LDS in the Salt Lake area are gauranteed Celestial status regardless of their committment level?

My gosh, that explains it! Why in the world do I have to contribute to anything? I've been saved! Ha ha, see ya, off to go clubbing!

People are allowed to have a life outside of church.

So right. Which is why NCMO is popular at BYU!

[ruthiechan]

I remember in a family ward in RS we had a cannery sign up list. The fellow whose calling was to operate the cannery came in to speak to the RS. He shamed everyone of us. He was appalled that no one had signed up to help. He talked about how it made it so much harder not to have help and that the cannery was a part of the Lord's church and that he not only let him and those at the cannery down, but the Lord down as well.

It was awesome, and powerful. That day, his list was full up, and people followed through.